A lot of tourists come to Kuching City not knowing what to do.
Truth is, there isn’t a lot to do within Kuching City. Most of Sarawak’s natural charms are located outside the city limits, towards the beaches in Damai, the mountains in Santubong, the hot springs at Annas Rais, the caves at Bau, and the jungles at Batang Ai. Not inside Kuching City.
If there’s any reason for the average tourist to stay in Kuching at all, it is for the amazing array of delicious local food. To honour the unsung heroes of the Kuching tourism industry, I think it’s high time to give out awards that the Sarawak Tourism Board had forgotten to give out on their glitzy Awards evening.
It’s time for…
After reading this entry, I bet all those Kuching people living overseas must be desperately trying to book their tickets back home now.
Best Fine-Dining Restaurant
Magenta Restaurant, Jalan Nanas
Lately, there’s been a lot of new fine-dining restaurants popping up all over Kuching. One dish there would cost about RM40. It is so expensive but these places are never empty. Kuching people must be getting richer and richer.
The problem is, most of these restaurants don’t get the concept of fine-dining. It’s either the service is crap, or the food tastes like shit.
Magenta has been around for a long time and I reckon they’re one of the few who got it right. It’s the best place to bring a date out for a romantic dinner. The food here is delicious. What’s more, their dishes are so well-presented they look more like sculptures from an art gallery, than food you can actually eat.
Best Bar
Links, Kuching Civic Center
If you like to be in the company of a rowdy crowd, go to SoHo. But if you enjoy a relaxing and exquisite environment, go to Links. I’m not saying this just because they did a great job hosting my 24th birthday party. But seriously, where else can you find a nice bar playing sweet house music perched on top of a tower overlooking the entire city of Kuching?
Best Place To Have Breakfast
Kaya & Toast. They got two branches. One in 3rd Mile, the other one closer to the city in Wisma Nation Horizon, Jalan Petanak.
Their soft-boiled eggs are the best in town and I simply love their curry rice.
I come here so many times that even the staff recognises me. Not only that, they also developed some sort of psychic powers. I don’t even have to open my mouth and they know what I want to order already.
If they see me walking in sleepily, they’ll know I want my coffee. If they see me walking in with saliva dripping down my mouth, they’ll know I want my curry chicken rice. Damn power.
Best Food Court To Try Almost Everything Under The Sun
Jalan Song Food Court
With three major food courts packed into one area, no wonder is placed is always decked out. They are only open at night and the only way tourists staying in the city can get there is by taxi. Whenever I have friends coming over wanting to try a bit of everything that Kuching has to offer, this is where I bring them to.
Seriously, this place is so freaking huge, it’s like the 1Utama of food courts in Kuching.
Best Roti Canai
J&J Cafeteria, Jalan Setia Raja at Tabuan Laru
Roti Canai isn’t very popular in Kuching, no thanks to the longstanding rumour that Indian roti canai makers who wear big rings on their fingers may have shit stained hands. Most Indians wash their ass with their hands instead of using toilet paper, and you won’t wanna eat the roti canai made with those same hands.
Well, if that rumour is true, then the shit of this roti canai maker must taste really good. Every morning J&J Cafeteria is packed to the max.
Best Teh-C-Special
Fresh Food Court, Lorong Liu Shan Bang 3A, Kota Sentosa (aka 7th Mile)
Sarawak is the only place in Malaysia where you can get the Teh-C-Special, otherwise known as the three-layer Teh-C-Peng. This drink is served with three distinct layers of tea essence, sugar water and ideal milk clearly seperated in the glass. You’re supposed to stir it up before you gulp it down.
The delicious concoction of drink is available in almost every single coffee shop in Kuching, and and it tastes pretty much the same everywhere. If you believe in the doctrine that “Original Is Best”, then go to this shop in the 7th Mile near the wet market.
Just like how Bethlehem is the birthplace of Jesus, Fresh Food Court in 7th Mile is the birthplace of the Teh-C-Special. It’s where the citywide craze all began.
Best Sio Bee
Sin Kwang Heng, Open Air Market
The owner manager of this sio bee stall is a Kuching legend in his own right.
Almost never seen without a cigarette hanging from his mouth, the guy must have violated hygiene laws in at least 70 different countries, including Malaysia’s. But Kuching people very power one. If something is good to eat, we will risk life and death to eat – even if it has cigarette butts in it.
The owner manager of Sin Kwang Heng is also famous for shouting at you when you make your order. Try standing in front of his stall and he’d shout “LU AI HAMIK!?” (WHAT DO YOU WANT) like you had insulted his grandmother. It’s funny, but a bit ridiculous. Wanna buy sio bee also kena shouted at. Like you owe him money like that.
That aside, the sio bee here is a long-time Kuching favourite. They are so good that Sin Kwang Heng have begun mass-producing and supplying them to kopitiams all over Kuching.
The only thing Sin Kwang Heng could possibly do to make it better is if they follow those KL franchise like Strudelz and Baoz, and change their name to Sio Beez.
Best Beef Noodle
Ah Mui, Open Air Market
Another long-time Kuching favourite. With some luck, you might be able to order this dish served with bull’s penis.
I’ve never tried it before myself though. To me, eating a bull’s penis is too much like giving dead animals a blowjob.
Best Tomato Kueh Teow
Hap Hap Hin at Kenyalang Market
You can get Tomato Kueh Teow almost everywhere in Kuching, but only this stall does it to perfection. Come early, because they are so popular, they sometimes sold out before noon time.
This is what Sarawak’s Tomato Kueh Teow looks like.
Other people seems to have a different intepretation of what “Tomato Kueh Teow” means.
Last time I ordered “Tomato Kueh Teow” in Singapore, they gave me a plate of Fried Kueh Teow and a bottle of tomato sauce.
Best Belacan Beehoon
Padungan Belacan Beehoon at Song Kheng Hai Food Court, Jalan Padungan
This is my favourite dish! I always order it with extra cuttlefish and century eggs. This stall at Song Kheng Hai serves pretty mean Sotong Kangkung as well and the drinks stall next to it can make excellent Honey Sea Coconut.
The drinks stall owner next door has a pretty lame sense of humour. If something costs one ringgit, he’d come to you and ask for “one thousand ringgit.”
Belacan Beehoon is one of Sarawak’s most legendary delicacies, although it can’t reach Sarawak Laksa in terms of popularity. Nowadays, it is not so easy to find Belacan Beehoon in Kuching because not a lot of people can stand its pungent smell.
But for people like me who love this dish to death, we won’t find it smelly at all. I had it for lunch with Jojo the other day and she complained about it.
Jojo: “That’s gross. How can anyone stand eating Belacan Beehoon? It’s so smelly!”
Kenny: “I put up with your smoking all the time, and you can’t even put up with me eating Belacan Beehoon?”
Best BBQ Rice
Wan Nurn Barbecue Specialist Duck & Chicken, Jalan Padungan
They are within walking distance from the city centre, located right opposite Memories Cafe.
It takes a lot of balls for someone to call themselves a “specialist”. Luckily, Wan Nurn lives up to its name. I especially like their BBQ pork selection. Served with their sweet homemade BBQ sauce, it is absolutely heavenly. Just remember not to take too much from this BBQ “specialist”, otherwise you might have to make a trip to visit a cancer specialist.
Best Chicken Rice
Good Thumb Food Centre, Jalan Dogan, Batu Kawa
This place used to be called Big Mouth. But then the popular chicken rice stall there had a dispute with the landlord, so they moved next door and call themselves Good Thumb. Why Good Thumb? Because the Big Mouth can suck on the Good Thumb and shut up.
Regardless of what they’re called, the chicken rice there is still hands down the best of the best in Kuching.
The most important ingredient of a chicken rice is the chilli sauce. Good Thumb’s chilli sauce is so damn good, they might as well package it and sell it off as can drinks. I’d drink it everyday.
Best Kolo Mee
Ah Ping Mee Stall, Siang Siang Food Court Tabuan Jaya
There are no decent Kolo Mee stalls located within walking distance of any of the hotels here. For a real taste of Kuching, you must travel out to the suburbs.
Trust me, it’s worth it. You hadn’t really been to Kuching until you had a taste of Kolo Mee. And please, eat it like the locals do. Don’t mix it with dark soy sauce like how the KL people does, or mix it with sambal like how the Singaporeans do.
Actually, I still think Kuching’s best Kolo Mee is at KY Cafe on Sekama Road. But too much of the same thing can be monotonous. For a change, I recommend this stall at Siang Siang Food Court in Tabuan Jaya. When I was staying overseas, my dad used to “ta pao” the Kolo Mee from this stall and bring it over for us. It’s the only thing we look forward to.
Best Lui Teh
A residential house at the corner of Jalan Intan and Jalan Tengah, off Green Road
Lui Teh is a Hakka dish that normally tastes very bitter. Somehow the Lui Teh at this place is different – it doesn’t even taste bitter at all!
I wouldn’t even know this place existed if it weren’t from Francis bringing me out to lunch here.
This place so well-hidden inside the residential area it must be Kuching best kept Lui Teh secret.
It’s puzzling why the owner didn’t wanna set up a stall at a food court to attract more business, especially since it’s obvious that his Lui Teh recipe is so popular. Sometimes, his eatery can be so full that people have to wait outside to get a seat.
Even more puzzling is – why don’t he serve drinks to his customers to earn more income? I think maybe he knows his Lui Teh is so good, his customers are gonna salivate so much that they don’t need to order drinks anymore.
Whatever it is, you MUST try the Lui Teh at this place. Some people call it delicious.
I call it, Lui-Teh-licious.
Best Seafood Kolo Mee
Hong Yan, Jalan Kuek Sik Fong off Jalan Sekama
The place is two shoplots big and the only thing they sell there is Seafood Kolo Mee. RM5.50 is pretty expensive by Kuching’s standards, but Hong Yan makes every single cent worth it.
You don’t see the customers there complaining. Eating the Seafood Kolo Mee here makes them happy. Don’t come after 11am because I guarantee you it’ll be sold out by then.
Best Kueh Chap
Lau-Tee-Fang, 4 1/2th Mile Commercial Centre
We call it Kueh Chap. Other people call it “The Pig’s Spare Parts Soup”. Kueh Chap is made by chopping up every single internal organ of the pig and served in some black-coloured soup. Salty, but lovely.
Just like the Seafood Kolo Mee stall, the Kueh Chap at Lau-Tee-Fang is usually sold out by 11am. I wish they could make more for lunch, but they are open for breakfast only so come early.
Best Sarawak Laksa
Chong Choon Cafe, Jalan Abell.
These guys have been around for ages and they really know their stuff. Located smack in the middle of the city, they are easily accessible to tourists staying in the hotels here. The 8TV crew has been here before and they love it. I brought every single one of my friends from overseas here and they love it. Their laksa is so good its addictive.
Chong Choon is open early in the morning and their laksa is all sold out before the clock even hits 11am.
If you realise, all the good eateries in Kuching are only open for a few hours. They could’ve make more money if they are opened a bit longer to serve the lunchtime crowd, but these people don’t do it. I don’t know why.
Maybe Kuching people just don’t know how to do business.
Useless Tourism Award
From time to time, people overseas and from other parts of Malaysia e-mailed me asking, “Hi Kenny. Big fan of blog. I’m visiting Kuching soon. What is there to do in Kuching?”
The first few times, I was happy enough to reply them individually. After 500 e-mails or so asking me different questions, it begins to get frustrating. Next time I get asked what’s there to do in Kuching, I’m gonna ask them to use what the Internet was invented for.
Then again, I guess it’s somehow understandable why so few people trusted the information given out by the Tourism Board. Quite often, what the Tourism Board recommends to tourists is VERY DIFFERENT from what a local boy would recommend to tourists.
Like recently, the Tourism Board held a major Awards ceremony to recognise outstanding tourism players in Sarawak. It’s all fine and dandy, rewarding fine talented people and all. But what I don’t understand is, why is there an award for BEST TOILET OPERATOR IN SARAWAK, but no award for BEST KOLO MEE STALL IN SARAWAK!?
Seriously! What stupid purpose does having an award for Best Toilet Operator actually serve? What are these people thinking?
Best Public Toilet Ever.
Do they think that if a tourist wanna go to the loo, they would rush to the nearest public toilet, only to find out “Oh shit! This is not by the Best Toilet Operator! How now!?”, then run around the whole of Sarawak holding their crotch looking for toilets operated by the Best Toilet Operator in Sarawak to pee at?
Of course not!
The average tourist couldn’t care less about which public toilet is the best. Everyone knows the best toilets are the ones in 5-star hotels and restaurants. And maybe those glitzy ones they have in KL that auto-clean itself and wipe your butt for you when you’re done doing business.
Actually I’m not sure about the wiping your ass part. At RM400K a piece, they ought to be able to do that.
The average tourist wanna know where the BEST LOCAL FOOD is at. They wanna EAT the stuff locals EAT. And ONLY a local can tell them where the best kolo mee and where the best laksa is at. The Tourism Board couldn’t tell that. Either that, or they don’t promote to tourists the good eateries located outside the main tourism belt.
Which is why as a local boy in support for Visit Malaysia Year 2007, kennysia.com is gonna do its part promoting Kuching tourism. It may not mean much, but I’m gonna give out Awards the Tourism Board had forgotten to give.
Presenting, kennysia.com Kuching Food Awards!
Unfortunately, in typical Malaysian fashion, “due to unforeseen circumstances”, the list is still being finalised . (Actually I just ran out of time to blog lah.)
So that’s coming up… in the next update. π
Free Trip To KL
A while back, I went on possibly one of my cheapest trip to KL. In fact, it was almost free.
My airtickets were free.
I had enough frequent flyer points with Malaysia Airlines to be able to redeem a free flight to Kuala Lumpur and I gotta do it before they expire at the end of the month. After numerous times travelling on cattle class with AirAsia, it’s nice to be able to appreciate the frills offered by MAS once again.
My hotel accomodation was free.
I got it as part of a business deal I previously brokered. And it wasn’t just any hotel. It’s the very prestigious and exclusive Hilton Hotel at KL Sentral.
This hotel is so good, it’s even got BALLS.
No kidding.
I thought Swissotel Stamford in Singapore was good. Heck, Swissotel Stamford doesn’t even come close. Hilton KL Sentral is the best hotel I ever had the privilege of staying overnight in without having to pay for it.
OMG! Santa Godzilla!”
I’m saying it not just because the hotel has a fantastic view like this right outside my room window.
It’s not just because it has bathroom walls that can be opened up entirely for couples to enjoy full view of each other bathing if they wanna.
Hilton at KL Sentral is the best hotel I’ve ever stayed in, because it has the Mother of All Toilet Bowls located right in the comfort of my own room.
Check out this toilet bowl. It has two extra taps compared to your normal ones. One squirts at the front. One squirts at the back.
Go figure.
I could sit on that thing all night long and be happy.
My night out partying was free. There’s an event at Zouk KL and I was invited.
Cheesie was there because she was named one of Female Magazine’s 50 Most Gorgeous in Malaysia. Coincidentally, the night that I was in KL was the contest’s Finals night.
Knowing one of the contestants from the event sure has its perks. Not only do I not have to pay for the cover charge to get into Zouk, I was roped straight into the VIP area.
This is Davina Goh. She’s an up-and-coming actress and one of the Gorgeous 50. Davina hasn’t won any Oscars yet, but if I had a trophy in hand I’d hand it to her.
That girl deserves a special award. An award called “The Most Exaggerated Reaction When Meeting Kenny Sia Award”.
Seriously, I had some pretty weird experiences with kennysia.com readers. But NEVER EVER before had I had someone kneel down shouting “OH MY GAWDDD!!!” while waving her arms up and down in a dramatic worshipping fashion when they saw me.
Thanks Davina. That was flattering in a Buddha kinda way.
I’m not gorgeous enough, so I must wear a tag to tell people that I’m gorgeous.
Sexy Sarah Tan is a VJ from Channel [V] and one of the hosts for the event. As it turns out, lots of familiar TV personalities were hanging around the VIP area as well.
British VJ Joey G
As if partying with celebrities and 50 of Malaysia most gorgeous people wasn’t cool enough, the party was sponsored by Bailey’s and Smirnoff – which means free drinks in the VIP area all night long!
I thought it couldn’t get any better than this. I was wrong.
Midway through the contest, the hosts decided to play a little game.
The alcohol must’ve lowered my inhibitions, because when the hosts called for volunteers I climbed on stage without any hesitation. The rules of the games were simple. Along with 4 other players, I gotta find five items from the crowd: a pair of sunglasses, a handphone strap, a water bottle, a watch and a condom.
Let’s just say Cheesie hates me now. All she got for her month-long efforts as a finalist for Female’s Gorgeous 50 was a bottle of perfume and some random shopping vouchers.
I spent 5 minutes on stage playing some corny game and I won this.
Yes, not only was my entrance to Zouk and my flow of Bailey’s that night free, I actually walked away with Samsung’s brand new ultra-slim phone in my hands, FREE! Haha.
The event was pretty alright. Outside the club, I spotted a familiar face bobbing her head up and down to some imaginary music. I looked again, and realised it was FireAngel.
I once revealed her as one of the Girls I’d Date Based On Their Online Personalities. The day I spotted her at the club dancing with some hot guy was the day I was heartbroken. π
Although what’s she doing dancing outside the club instead of inside the club, I have no idea.
After her thing, Cheesie and I decided to chill at this new place in Mont Kiara called Somo.
It’s a little difficult to find the place since it’s so well-hidden inside Mont Kiara. Then again, Somo is probably one of the coolest outdoor bar-lounges I have ever come across in KL. The drinks may be a little on the expensive side, but the ambience here is fantastic.
I returned to Somo again on their grand opening night and spotted this hot lass mingling around in the crowd.
It’s our very own half-Chinese half-Kelabit model-turned-TV-hostess-turned singer Hannah Tan!
Dang, she’s hot!
One MAJOR downside when you see too much of a model doing her saucy pose in magazines, is that when you finally meet the said person, you cannot help but to automatically picture her in a skimpy white bikini.
It’s a sin, I tell ya.
Anyway, I shouldn’t call her Hannah Tan because she’s repackaged into hannah t now. In Malaysia, it’s a trend that when someone makes it big in the entertainment industry, they had to keep the first letter of their last name and drop the rest.
Case in point: Hannah T, Joey G, Serena C, Adam C.
If I ever made it big in Malaysia, I’d be called… Kenny S?
Sounds like Kenny Ass. π
JoyceTheFairy obviously likes Somo as well considering how much she’s been shamelessly slutting it out on her blog. I don’t disagree with her. If anyone knows KL nightlife, it’s Joyce.
The cast of kinkybluefairy are often hanging around here too.
Estranged’s Azwin Andy Malik, hitz.fm’s AdamC, Ummm… kennysia.com’s Kenny and every ladies’ man TL.
That’s Azwin Andy on the left.
Even if you don’t follow some of his works, Azwin Andy must have looked at least somewhat familiar to you. In fact, right now you’re probably thinking that you’ve seen him somewhere sometime before, but can’t exactly pinpoint where and how.
My friend, if you think that way, then you are right. Because EVERYONE in Malaysia have seen Azwin Andy before.
Remember this?
It’s alright Andy. We all make mistakes sometimes! π
Abstract Art
There’s this stall at the flea market at The Curve, KL selling relatively cheap and beautiful art paintings.
I was there a couple of days ago and I bought two art pieces to decorate my otherwise dull and boring bedroom walls. But when I finally got back to Kuching, I showed my purchases to my mom, who unsurprisingly was rather unimpressed.
My mom is a Traditional Asian Mom who doesn’t know how to appreciate abstract art.
When she saw the paintings, our conversation went a little like this.
Kenny: “Look mom, I bought these paintings from KL. Nice or not?”
Mom: “What is it? Can’t see anything leh.”
Kenny: “It’s abstract art. Abstract art is liddat one, mom.”
Mom: “How much is it?” (Note: Traditional Asian Moms must know exactly how much every single one of their children’s purchases are. It’s in their genes.)
Kenny: “Don’t want to say lah.”
Mom: “How much?”
Kenny: “Don’t need to know lah.”
Mom: “…”
Kenny: “RM300…”
Mom: Cb>”HAR?!!!??!!?”
Kenny: “… plus another RM200 for the framing.”
Mom: “FIVE HUNDRED RINGGIT!?!?!?!!?!?!”
Kenny: “For two paintings!”
Mom: “YOU SPENT FIVE HUNDRED RM ON THOSE UGLY PICTURES!!!!!”
Kenny: “It’s nice what!”
Mom: “JAYDEN ANYHOW DRAW ALSO LOOK BETTER THAN THAT!!!!”
For the record, Jayden is my mother’s grandson and my three-year-old nephew. The last time I saw Jayden draw something, it looked a little like this.
Yes, my mother said this “masterpiece” is better than the RM500 paintings I bought from KL.
Don’t you just love Traditional Asian Moms?
Act Cute
Don’t you hate it?
Kids are angels. No matter what they are doing, they can make it so effortlessly cute.
I want to imitate, also fail big time.
Prepaid Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The SIM
Previously in Prepaid Wars, we arrived at a cliffhanger ending when our three competing telcos tied up with three points each in their round-of-six battle for supremacy.
I got a few things to say after reading the comments from my last entry. The first is that for “normal” users, you’re not gonna find much differences in the call rates across all three prepaid telcos. That’s why I only focus on the extras provided by the telcos.
The second is that I can’t measure network coverage. Sure, I can put three different SIM cards in three different phones and drive up from Kuching to Tawau then swim to Kuala Lumpur, but signal strength is affected by many other factors like phone design and surrounding environment.
From what many people are saying: Celcom has the best coverage, Maxis is moving on par with Celcom and Digi’s coverage sucks the most. My friend Jojo uses DiGi Prepaid and lives in the popular residential area of Batu Kawa. It’s tough to get in touch with her because the poor girl can only get a signal in her kitchen and not in her bedroom. So much for their so-called “wide coverage”.
In any case, it’s an intense toss-up between three bloodsworn enemies as we arrive to the finale of another episode of…
Round Four: The Kiasu Marathon Caller
You are a Kiasu Marathon Caller if you send lots of SMS or talk on the phone for more than say, 20 minutes a day.
I knew a guy once who could talk on the phone with his girlfriend for 7 hours straight. That’s pretty impressive considering most guys I know don’t have an attention span of more than 10 minutes, unless it involves sex.
If your girl is the weird kind who finds long-windedness in a sensitive new age guy desirable, then this is for you.
If you’re a moderate user, it doesn’t matter which telco you choose because at the end of the day the their rates are pretty much the same. If you’re a heavy user, both Hotlink Total and Digi Prepaid offer better discounts if you spend more than a certain amount.
Without needing to spend a minimum amount, Xpax is already 38c/min if you call to other Celcom numbers. Xpax is however, more expensive if you call to other networks. DiGi’s rate starts off at 48c/min but drops to 38c/min if you spend more than RM30 a month. If you spend less than RM6 a day, Hotlink is just slightly more expensive than the rest.
But what I like about Hotlink’s Total Plan is that on days which you don’t feel like spending much, you can choose to call less or not to call anyone at all. On the days that you wanna make more calls, you can do that and save up to 50% compared to the rest once you spend more than RM6 in a day. Unlike Digi, you don’t have to wait until you hit RM30 in a month before you qualify for a lower rate. Out of the three, only Hotlink gives you that sorta flexibility.
For the winner of Round 4, my pick is simple.
Round Five: The Eager Freeloader
You are an Eager Freeloader if you sign up for a new prepaid number just to enjoy the privileges and benefits that comes along with it. There are some crazy people who sign up with all three telcos just so they could get special treatment to the events these telco sponsored.
Celcom Xpax’s starter pack is the cheapest. At RM5 per pack, it comes with RM2 free airtime.
They don’t seem to sponsor a lot of notable concerts in the past. But if you’re a movie buff, you should be happy with their range of movie memorabilia from Casino Royale, King Kong and that Matrix knockoff from Bollywood called Don.
You don’t get a lot of benefits like discounts and privileges as Xpax subscribers apart from movie posters, ringtones and stuff.
Digi Prepaid Pack costs RM8.50. It includes RM5 free airtime each month for 4 months if you top up every month, and 50% extra airtime on your first reload. I guess that’s their way of enticing their customers to actually use their product.
Digi does sponsor a fair bit of concerts, though unfortunately they’re mostly from B-grade South-East Asian artistes like Tata Young and Denise Ho. However, Digi deserves some credit for supporting local indie acts like at the recent Digi Streetblast and the Malaysian Idol-inspired singing contest called Digi Celebriteen.
Hotlink Total Plan’s Starter Pack costs the most among the three at RM8.80 per pack, but it gets you started with RM4 credit and a whopping 500 SMSes to any Maxis number.
And when it comes to concerts, hohoho… Hotlink has got all the big names covered. We’re talking about international A-listers like David Tao, Pussycat Dolls, Eason Chen, Twins, Justin Lo and so much more.
It’s enough to make any fat pimply teenage girl cream her panties.
This one, is a no-brainer.
Round Six: The Diehard Loyal
They say its easier to keep an existing customer than to recruit a new one. In a market where the fight for that elusive slice of pie is intense as this one, all three telcos are doing all they can to reward their long-serving customers.
Celcom Xpax‘s loyalty benefit is whereby the longer you stay with them, the more free credits you’ll get.
Digi Rewards is based on how much you topped up over the period of 4 months. The more money you spend on reloads, the more free credits you’ll get. Digi also has this cool deal where you can get 50% extra credit if you top-up on your bithday.
Hotlink’s Club Rewards is based on points system. 100 Reward Points can be redeemed for either RM1 airtime or 50 free SMSes. Every RM1 top up earns you 2 points. That’s 1 free SMS.
Just a few weeks ago, Hotlink unveiled an even more unique way of earning points. They call it the Call-Me Bonus, and you can earn points just by answering your calls. The longer you stay on the line, the more reward points you get.
If only scoring points is that easy. Those freeloaders don’t even have to spend a single cent to collect points and redeem free airtime and SMSes.
Next time I get a missed call from a 012 number, I’ll know got ulterior motives one.
When it comes to dishing out rewards, it is Hotlink’s package that stood out brilliantly from the rest. With Celcom and Digi, you gotta wait at least 5 months before you could redeem anything. With Hotlink, their rewards are almost instantaneous.
It’s hard to argue with this one.
Final Thoughts
It is true that not one telco provides the best plan to suit all different kinds of user.
What’s clear to me is this. If you call Celcom or fixed line numbers often, Xpax suits you best. If you call outstation numbers often, Digi suits you best – though I must admit I have been hearing too much complaints from Digi customers about this telco’s spotty coverage.
Hotlink’s pricing structure is so complicated, I’m surprised they don’t offer a bachelor’s degree program on it at our local universities. No wonder Digi’s One Low Flat Rate campaign is gonna win over the average customers confused with Hotlink’s complicated pricing structure.
But the smarter consumers would realise that it is that same complicated pricing structure that gives Hotlink unrivalled flexibility to kick Digi and Celcom’s collective arses. Top off Hotlink’s flexible rates with great coverage, world-class concerts, an impressive rewards programme and the Call-Me Bonus, even the fiercest critics must agree that Digi and Celcom has got NOTHING on them to fight Hotlink.
I have made my verdict. The public poll in my last entry confirms it. With a score of 9-6-3, the undisputed champion of the Prepaid Wars is…
Maxis Hotlink.
No questions about that.
Prepaid Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Handphones
Previously, I wrote about the outrageous battles of publicity between our three telco operators.
It is a never-ending war that has conquered almost every single aspect of our lives. From newspapers, to TV, to the Internet, to cinemas, to billboards, to even the lamp posts on our streets, it is becoming almost impossible to get through a single day without encountering an ad for either one of Maxis, Digi or Celcom.
In a war where everyone is claiming they are the best, who exactly is the best?
No one seems to have a definite answer.
Which is why I decided that kennysia.com is gonna do something good for the people, and put an end to this bitter rivalry, once and for all.
I am a Celcom Postpaid user, which makes me somewhat of a neutral observer in this war between Prepaids. I am not endorsing anyone. In fact I have little to gain even if Xpax decided to grace me with sponsorship, simply because I have a phone allowance and my bills are already taken care of by my employer. Besides, it’s just too much of a hassle for me to switch numbers.
In the interest of finding out which telco has the better prepaid plan, I purchased four different SIM packs over the Christmas break. After extensive research, sleepless nights and countless cups of caffeine, I am putting Maxis Hotlink, Digi Prepaid and Celcom Xpax in the ring for a head-to-head triple threat, round-of-six prizefight.
And here are the results.
Round 1: The Cheapskate User
You are a cheapskate user if you own a phone mainly to let people call you.
You’re not the kind who make a lot of phone calls yourself. When you do, it’s just to say “Ma, I finish school already. Come pick me up liaw.” or “Ah boy ah, are you coming home to eat tonight?” If you wanna talk for longer, you’ll probably do that bloody annoying thing of making a miss call, then expect the person to call you back.
Sounds familiar? Then cheapskates like you should be looking at the low usage plans by the three operators on offer.
Call rates between the three are very similar. But the difference-maker here is that Hotlink’s credits last longer and expire later.
Say you spend RM15 a month, a RM30 reload would last you 2 whole months on Hotlink, compared to just 1 month on either Celcom or Digi. That makes Hotlink’s Easy Plan the clear winner this round.
Round 2: The Interstate Lover
You are an Interstate Lover if you often call to numbers all throughout Malaysia.
You don’t have a lot of friends locally, which is why you have to always call outstation to harrass people from another state. Most people would find you a freaking weirdo, because unless you’re a businessman how often do you make phone calls to people from another state?
Digi’s one flat rate nationwide comes in handy here. The only time Digi is more expensive is if you call outstation Celcom numbers extensively. Xpax would turn out cheaper in that case since you don’t have to wait till you hit RM30 a month to get 38c/min.
Round 3: The Clique Member
You are a Clique Member if you and your friends are like The Stellars. Or EPL football players.
Everything you do, die die must do together.
You go out for lunch together, you pose for the cameras together, you wear the same clothes together. Heck, you probably even share the same boyfriends together. (Ewww…)
In which case, I’m sure you have no problems sharing the same telco together.
If you and your bunch of friends are shopping for new prepaid lines together, Xpax is best.
All three telcos offer special low rates for your list of special numbers. But Hotlink Total’s Activ5 and Digi’s F&F only allow numbers belonging to their own network to be on the list.
With Xpax’s 8pax, you can add not just Celcom numbers but also TM fixed lines to the list and enjoy the low rates for up to eight assigned numbers. It’s a cool deal that even Hotlink’s super cheap 10c/min off-peak dwarfs in comparison.
With each of our big three neck-and-neck with three points each under their belt, just who will emerge victorious as the winner in the battle of prepaids?
Stay tuned for the conclusion, in the next episode of… Prepaid Wars!
kennysia.com Turns Two
It’s hard to believe, but exactly two years ago I started kennysia.com without much of an expectation that it would turn into a monster that it is today.
A lot of things has happened since I wrote my first entry.
For one, my site’s traffic has skyrocketed from to 16,000 a day. As of posting, kennysia.com is still the number 1 Malaysian blog on Technorati.
The best thing about that is the fame and recognition that comes with it. Whether in Kuching or KL, going out and being recognised by strangers is becoming pretty common.
Top 4 Most Commented Entries On kennysia.com
13 October – Kuching Vs Perth Dilemma – 539 Comments
27 August – Crocs Beach Review And Giveaway – 396 Comments
8 March 2006 – Kuala Lumpur International Marathon– 394 Comments
17 October – LG White Chocolate Fashion Phone Giveaway – 383 Comments
What I appreciate most about writing here is when my readers see good stuff on my site, they spread the word around telling other people to read kennysia.com. Some of my entries this past year was elevated to legendary status because of that.
Top 4 Most Memorable Entries On kennysia.com
14 January – Weight Loss Ads Are Ridiculous
I sent a letter to Osim demanding explanation why their ads for their weight loss products always feature skinny models who don’t need to lose weight. Hilarity ensued.
Despite efforts from my readers bombarding Osim headquarters with forwarded copies of this entry, Osim’s PR department launched into full defence mode and ignored all those forwarded emails. Word finally got around to Channel [V] studios and in support of my cause, I was even featured in their first episode of Poparazzi. The channel called up Osim to seek for a reply. As expected, Osim said “No comment.”
1 April – Kenny Sia Attempts To Write A Bimbo Blog
It’s becoming an April Fool’s tradition for kennysia.com to poke fun at Xiaxue, and last year it’s no different.
If there’s one thing I know about how to easily increase blog traffic, it’s to talk about Wendy Cheng – the funny, controversial, bimbotic, bitchy internet celebrity from Singapore. Love her or hate her, people are just dying for a chance to talk about her.
It’s simple, Xiaxue = Traffic.
14 June – How To Make Your Own Official World Cup Ball
This is another one of those entries that made people keep forwarding it until it made the trip around the world in people’s email inboxes. Like what happened when I poked fun at Osim, the entry reached the office of adidas Malaysia. Unlike Osim, adidas had a bit more sense of humour and sent me a pack of gifts as appreciation. Thanks!
However, things unexpectedly turned sour when the president of the Bespectacled Losers Association of Bloggers ‘Blogging Responsibly’ (BLABBR) for no reason at all accused me of plagiarising this entry. I was bemused because I didn’t plagiarise and I know it. Surprisingly, when I put out all the glaring facts in front of him and pointed out the differences between “plagiarism” and “coincidence”, he got nothing to say.
Hypocrites can go suck on it baby.
4 July – Another Fight Video Discovered On The Internet>
My parody of the Miri Schoolgirl Fight video that was widely circulated around the internet. This is definitely my favourite self-made video clip ever.
As of writing, the video was viewed 103,800 times around the world and even made it to Youtube’s Top #11 Most Viewed Video Clip during the week that it was published. Not bad for a Kuching-made content. It could’ve been more if that week wasn’t overshadowed by Zidane’s headbutt on Youtube.
As the popularity of my site climbs, I am also beginning to receive more and more offers from commercial entities to advertise their products on my blog. The most obvious examples of which are Pixart, LG Chocolate and Crocs Shoes.
I apologise if my readers felt annoyed that their regular blog reading is invaded by adverts, but running a high traffic website isn’t exactly cheap. On average, I am spending at least RM300 a month and 2 hours a day on kennysia.com. It is unfair if I have to spend time and money out of my own pocket to run a website for people to read, and yet not get anything in return to cover my expenses.
Adverts on blogs are fine as long as they’re done in moderation. 1 ad out of 10 entries isn’t exactly that bad. Besides, TV shows like Idol have a lot more ads than kennysia.com, and it’s not like people are switching their TV sets off in protest.
I welcome adverts on blogs, and I think it is a good thing that Malaysian companies are turning towards bloggers to spread the word about their products. The fact that companies are now willing to invest in online media is a sign that our locally-produced Internet content is getting better. That being said, my promise to you is that I will never sacrifice the user-friendliness for cash and I will never tell blatant lies for money.
The second year of my blogging journey saw some changes in my writing. I think that as I grow up, it is inevitable that my writing matures along with it. Blog readers who have been around for a while would notice that I have toned down my brash style considerably. I’m also staying away from large blog communities, becoming less controversial and updating less often compared to before.
There’s a few reasons for that.
The first and foremost of which is that I think internet wars are extremely stupid. Even worse if it is initiated by people who don’t even know you and yet want to control what you write. Trolls are most annoying when they repeat themselves like a broken record, acting like the High Priest of the Church of Morality telling me “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility!β’” and “Think Before You Click That Publish Button!β’”
Fine then. That’s why I’m updating less because I think too much before clicking that Publish button. Happy now?
Despite toning down so much, I STILL get idiots going after my ass because they think some of my entries are too ‘controversial’. Some even had the rudeness and audacity to tell me “better delete this entry otherwise ISA go after you”.
HELLO? ARE YOU THE BLOGGER OR AM I THE BLOGGER?!
When I get comments like that, I just delete them immediately. I don’t care. I couldn’t care less about the Internal Security Act. People who wanna control how I blog should worry less about the ISA and worry more about getting their comments deleted by SIA.
SIA, as in… Kenny SIA, y’know?
Judge for yourself and tell me if you think these entries are offensive and shouldn’t be put up at all.
Top 5 Most ‘Controversial’ Entries On kennysia.com
13 March – Datuk Application Form
It’s an open secret that many Datuks are not worthy of their titles. I poked fun at that. People said I’m controversial and wanted me to remove this entry.
8 May – Kuching Traffic Police Is My Best Friend
Bribing the traffic police in Malaysia is like buying pirated DVDs – everyone knows that it’s not legal but everyone does it anyway, simply because the authorities are giving you all the avenues to. Try doing the same in Singapore, Australia or New Zealand and you wouldn’t go far.
The purpose of this entry is to demonstrate how freaking easy it is for the average Malaysian to get out of a traffic offence with some spare change. I was trying to insult police corruption in my own sarcastic way, but people got angry because they think I am advocating bribery. I am not.
10 May – Sarawak Erections Update
I poked fun at the pre-election situation in Sarawak without siding any political parties. People said I’m controversial and wanted me to remove this entry.
25 May – Zhng My Penis
I posted an entry about circumcision. My mom wanted me to remove it (the entry, not the foreskin).
She thinks that anything to do with the human penis should not be talked about at all. I’m not even talking about the penis in a rude sense, so why is it perfectly acceptable to talk about circumcision during biology classes in high school and not on my blog?
Like they care. I was still dragged into the room and disciplined at length because of this entry.
15 September – A Vote Of No Confidence
Look guys, it’s just a badly photoshopped animation of the Tun clicking a mouse. That’s all. Like that also cannot put up? Must remove ah?
One thing I am beginning to become mindful of is the amount of influence I have on kids.
When I started, most of my readers are people 20 years and above, so I exaggerate myself and blog without any form of self-restriction. Of late, I noticed an increasing number high school teenagers reading kennysia.com. Some even found out about my site after their teachers told them about it. When Hitz.fm and Mix FM plugged my site over the air, they described it as “appropriate for kids”. Then there are parents who sent me messages telling me how much their 15-year-olds enjoy reading kennysia.com.
Seriously, I didn’t use to think kids should read my site because I never intended to become anyone’s role model. In fact, I hated the thought of becoming a goody-2-shoe moral crusader.
Yet at the same time, it is flattering to know that teachers and parents are putting their faith in me. With that in mind, I reluctantly scaled back on inappropriate language and R-rated content on my site. Sure, it meant me losing a bit of my edge. But I guess it’s better lose that than to have the next 15-year-old say ‘KNNCCB’ to their parents after picking up a new vocabulary reading kennysia.com
Top 4 Personal Favourites On kennysia.com
20 January – Best of Kuching Series
4 May – It’s Been A Year Since You’re Gone
8 September – Close One Eye
6 February – Because Good Girls Like Bad Boys
So this is it.
For me, running kennysia.com is a fine balancing act between staying true to myself, providing entertaining content, documenting my own life, keeping it financially viable, being socially responsible and having a laugh while at it.
It is not easy to satisfy 16,000 readers everyday, but thank you for sticking with me through the thicks and thins for the past 2 years.
Any comments? Suggestions? Favourite entries? Worst entries? I welcome all kinds of opinion, so let me know. π
Just don’t tell me to remove this entry because of ISA.
2007 New Years Resolution
This time last year, I made myself a list of resolutions I hoped to achieve by the end of 2006.
Now that the year is over and a new one has arrived, it’s time to reflect on those resolutions I made. Let’s look at how well I did.
Resolution #1: Drink less alcohol.
A friend of mine once claimed he only drinks on three days. Those three days are yesterday, today and tomorrow.
There’s only two times last year when I managed to get myself so drunk to the point of needing people to send me home. But now, I limit my drinking days to just Saturdays so I’m pretty far from my friend’s philosophy. Overall, I’m drinking a lot less alcohol and keeping things in moderation.
Verdict: PASS
Resolution #2: Cuss less and avoid commenting on religion in kennysia.com.
There’s a reason why you don’t see a lot of of f-words and stuff that would make people burn down buildings on this blog anymore.
Verdict: PASS
Resolution #3: Visit Singapore more often.
Ended up visiting Singapore only twice in the entire year. Not sure what happened there, but I think I’m more wanted in KL as compared to Singapore.
Verdict: FAIL
Resolution #4: Put 50% of my monthly income into savings, unless I’m travelling.
Failed. Failed big time. As it turns out, I travelled out of Kuching almost every month. Sometimes I did it even twice a month.
The whole 2006 I ended putting only 10% of my monthly income into savings – hardly enough to make a difference.
Verdict: FAIL
Resolution #5: Lose 10kg.
I wanted to lose 10. I lost 8. Short by 2.
Verdict: FAIL
Ah well. All in all, I kinda sucked when it comes to my 2006 resolutions. Maybe I’ll have better results this year.
So, let it be known that before the end of 2007, I want to:
Resolution #1: Achieve a savings equivalent to 5 months worth of my salary
This one is to replace my doomed resolution of putting half my monthly salary into savings. I still think saving money is a virtue I should pick up while I’m still young.
Resolution #2: Gamble less
Gambling is fine if played in moderation, but I always get carried away. Sometimes I play harder and harder trying to “win back” money that I’ve lost. That’s not a good thing.
I’m no compulsive gambler but I stupidly lost about RM600 last year gambling on the stupid World Cup thanks to that stupid France and that stupid Zidane headbutt. Altogether I lost a stupid RM2,000 placing stupid bets on stupid games.
I’m still gonna gamble lah but from now onwards, I’m gonna stop playing when I hit my limit of RM100 a game.
Resolution #3: Raise funds for charity
Shhh… don’t tell this to anyone.
Actually, last year I was thinking of staging a major publicity stunt by circumcising and auctioning off my dick’s foreskin to raise funds for charity. But my family kicked up a big fuss when I wrote about circumcision on my blog, so obviously I had to abandon that idea. Besides, who’s gonna buy my foreskin?
Still, cancer prevention and care is something very close to my heart. I need time to plan, but I hope to initiate some sort of a campaign and do something positive to benefit the cancer societies.
Resolution #4: Get out of bed by 7:30am every weekday
When you mix around with nocturnals, you turn into a nocturnal yourself. Most of my close friends don’t have day jobs so they can afford to go to bed at 3am every night.
I blindly follow their sleeping patterns so when morning comes I become dead like zombie. Gotta wake up early.
Resolution #5: Learn a new sport
A friend gave me a complete set of golf clubs last March, but nine months later I still swing like an monkey trying to scratch its butt. He must be so disappointed.
I’m gonna dust off my set golf club and by the end of 2007 I guarantee you I’m gonna go from noob to pro. Watch out, Tiger Woods.
Resolution #6: Finish a 42km marathon in 5 hours time
Now that I have 8kg less “excess baggage” and a better knowledge about what to expect, 5 hours to complete 42km should be quite realistic.
Resolution #7: Climb a mountain
Never climbed a single mountain before in my entire life. Not even our pissy little Mountain Santubong in Kuching.
I know a few people who have scaled Mount Kinabalu in Sabah and came back telling me what a worthwhile experience it was. I’m tentatively planning a trip to KK on the 20th January and if anyone reading this is up for the challenge, maybe we should attempt to conquer Southeast Asia’s tallest mountain together.
Resolution #8: Appear on reality TV
Hey, it’s possible. With so many homegrown reality shows popping up, I thought it might be fun to appear on just one of them. Living so far away from KL might be a problem though.
Resolution #9: Turn into Daniel Craig
Damn tulan. Why every girl I know keeps saying Daniel Craig is hot?
Ok, maybe it’s logically impossible to transform intoDaniel Craig, but I wanna at least lose another 8kg and get a physique like him.
I wanna be hot too.
Happy New Year, everybody. Whatever your resolutions are, may we at least put some effort into achieving it lah.
As an Ah Lian would say, “Everyone jia you! Together we shall gambatte!”.
Big Day
Gonna be extremely busy running around today making sure the wedding runs smooth.
My mom lost her voice on my brother’s big day ‘cos she ate too much durians. HAHA!
Number of people who have asked when is my turn to get married (as at 11:00pm):
EIGHTEEN!