nice man, its hard to find 1-girl man anymore
polignac = lao chu ?

一天我在宿舍看书，一个推销的进来向我推销袜子。我嫌麻烦就买了几双，等那人走了，我仔细一看差点乐晕：上面写着“madeindeguo”。

that's sweet of you...=P

woo!

kennysia is a righteous husband to be.

The conclusions by everybody in the entry seems cynical. :S Because of perceived bad outcome or short-term joy, everybody compromise in some sense: ladies give in to husbands' debauchery, husbands give in to debauchery, Kenny give in to pre-midlife debauchery... :)

Good on you Kenny...that's the way...one woman and one woman only..till death parts you! :)

Wow that’s sad that some women expect that. It may sound bad but I think it is a very Asian thing for them to say that and I personally know of several women who are living in that situation in Kuching. I have heard the statements of acceptance from several other women, all of who were Asian but never from a White or Black woman. Their response is “If he cheats Ill kick his butt, and then leave him”. Ladies if your man cheats kick his ass to the side of the road. Men, just like women, have self control and should practice it.

It’s also a matter of which guy you chose. Bottom line, if he is a cheater he is no good, don’t try and rationalize it. A cheater is often dishonest in other areas of his life as well and not worth keeping no matter how rich. It’s not worth having a successful/rich guy if you are miserable, embarrassed, and sad for the rest of your life. No matter how well you think you can accept it I think it slowly kills a part of you each time it happens. It also deeply hurts your children. Even if you think it’s a secret, kids have a way of finding out (not to mention all your friends and the gossip about town). Also if you meet a guy while he is cheating on his girlfriend/wife it’s a sign of things to come. If he couldn’t be faithful with her than why would he be with you?

It’s also sad, and a disservice to men in general, to say that a man who is successful will always cheat. I was raised to think that men who cheat are not REAL men. There are lots of rich successful men all over the world who are faithful and love their wives, and only their wives, until they die. I think I’m considered fairly successful, I’m also an Expatriate, and I have been faithfully married to a Malaysian girl for more than 10 years (we are both he same age). I love my wife dearly, more than anything, and would never cheat on her. If I did I would hate myself and expect her to leave me. I’m not a religious man but I did make a vow to be honest and faithful to my wife. What kind of character would that show if I wasn’t. I also would NOT like my wife to say it would be acceptable for me to cheat. I don’t want a jealous wife but I need one I can respect, wants me to herself, and has self esteem.

Also ladies: Raise your sons and daughters to know that cheating is wrong no matter what. If your sons see you in a relationship where their dad is cheating on you what do you think they will learn? Do you want your children to grow up to think this kind of behavior is acceptable? Sons cheating on wives because it’s what dad did and mom stayed with him. Daughters accepting a husbands infidelity because mom stayed with dad all those years. Why do you want another generation to go through such sadness?

I agree with Jay. Our children learn from us.
We learn from our parents.
But we also have the opportunity to decide for ourselves how we want to live our lives.
Sure, marrying a rich man can give people the impression of material comfort. But the rich man may only flaunt his money for the benefit for others, and not treasure you and treat you like the princess that you should be.
But then, if i marry a rich old dying man, and take all his money to enjoy myself..hmm...

What if guys never get *it* out of their system? Bachelor for life?

it's good that you think that way. i wish more men did.

That's one deep post....

No, it is not in our system unless you believe it to be. Don't give yourself excuses to stray. If you truly love your girlfriend or wife, banish that thought!

Touching. Truely touching.

As long as the husband give me money, I don't care if my husband have an affair with other women because for me, money is everything.

Totally agree with you kenny, however this does not only happen in marriges, I've experiences a number of guys who are already in a relationship going on an affair and sleeping with another girl... So what has happening in this world?? These men can't keep their penises in their "PANTIES". It looks as though it's a trend now or something...

Exactly, i have lots of girl friends telling me the same thing. They dun even mind thier bf's going Karaoke with GRO's they say its natural.Of course this means for me that its all good that i can visit all these places n hump these chicks~ but it still makes me wonder how warped thier mind is.They are the ones making it a norm not us by agreeing with it and by closing one eye to it. They even added.. as long as u wear condom , its O.K. Personally , i dont think a successful man will most likely be less loyal. And also that women nowadays will go for the above average life-style n forsake any other things.U know what that means ? its all about the moola.. $$$$

hmmm...now u make me think again n again of getting married...guess i'll have to find myself few more girlfriends...fast!!..hahaha..
chill la,kenny..u'll get the hang of it...

Good for you Kenny! :) If only all guys think like you.

I'm a girl who doesn't like rich dudes.. that's why I chose my current bf over a spoilt rich brat.. and I've never regreted a single bit..

Although my mom is the one who is nagging and giving me probs.. you see.. she's the type who thinks that no matter what, you have to marry a rich kid.. sigh..

SCREW THOSE CHEATING GUYS! theres a sayin that goes 'you reap what you sow' ..did i spell it right? if you cheat on ur wife,for a much hotter/sexier/younger/firmer gal..ur wife will leave you and the hottie will too,after taking all your money and making full use of you lah..its a true scenario..bcos hotties who tackle married men are generally sick and hamsap.so why the hell you think a sick and hamsap gal will stay loyal 4ever with you? Be realistic! and in the end you ended up lonely and miserable with nothing left with you..just like a greedy dog with a nice bone in its mouth,but when it passed by a bridge and saw the reflection of its bone in the water,it thought thre is another bone in the water and 'splash' it jumped down the water.but in the end what happen? the dog loses its original bone when it 'splash'..it ended up with nothing left..So for those cheating guys out there,SCREW YOU! BE FAIR TO WOMEN! women are humans,we do have feelings too! and women..plz get urself educated and financially independant,so you won't need to depend on a CHEATER for 3 meals a day..

Kenny, I think you're one of those few good men left on this planet, besides my hubby.

Stick to your principles and you'll definitely have a happy, fulfilling & satisfying marriage!

Hey kenny that was a very nice post with a kind of cheesy conclusion but very true.

Your friend sylvia married to a japanese who cheats: AL JAPANESE MEN CHEAT. well it may sound like a sweeping statement, but it's true that it's culturally accepted in Japan. I even saw on a chatshow, this well respected old Japanese woman was giving all these girls advice, and they said they hated men cos men cheat, and she said "don't be silly, it's only natural, it doesnt mean that in the end they don't love you.." alright well i can't make a decision on whether that can possibly be true, but it just goes to show, if you dont want to be cheated on, dont marry a Japanese.

It's great to bring up such topic in your blog that reflects how unfaithful men have become nowadays.The truly sad thing is cos it's become a norm.Which I find it so unacceptable.
One heart, one love.
Cheers~

ai yeh kenny no need to get marriedlah become a rich and famous playboy at kuching.

HAH! ENJOY WHILE U CAN & MARRY LATE. BUT WHEN U RETIRED UR KID IS STILL YOUNG & UR HAVE 2 WORRY ABOUT THEIR FUTURE.MARRY EARLY UR KID IS MORE OR LESS ON THEIR ON FEET. U CHOICE. BTW I KNOWN I AM SUCESSFUL ONCE I HAVE A MISSTRESS.OF COUSE I HAVE 2 SEEK MINE PARTNER APPROVAL FIRST AS I HAVE A BIG HOUSE WITH A BIG BED.ENOUGHT 4 3.FIY I HEARD RUSSIAN GIRLS IS BEAUTIFULL & 'CHEAP'.SO KENNY WHAT SAY U.

Love is such a powerful word, a word people often misuse. Something they take for granted. Something they beat and abuse. Love a never-ending passionate feeling? No, a never-ending hurt. Something you loathe having. But can't stand by yourself without.

Love, nothing but a game, played by the foul, the selfish and the sweetest. More strings to add to our arms. We're like puppets,in the game of 'love'.We jump when told, we laugh when not funny, we gasp when not surprised, we impress when we have no hope. Small useless game pieces,why play? why even bother?

Love, no matter how you see it. It'll always end with nothing but pain and sorrow. But without it all will be mournful and with it the same.

I don't understand why bother feeling? If there's nothing to touch? Love, only a blindfold to stretch what is unreal. To hide what is webs of lies, sorrow, and pain.

Why must we need this blind fold, this feeling, this mourning, this sorrow, this warmth, these tears. No one seems to know the answer. All I know is that this feeling is much needed and desired.

to VinCOol:

I know what you mean, but I beg to differ on acceptance of cheating being an "asian thing".

The western ladies might talk tough, because that's how theyve been taught by the media (incidentally, how do you think all this "girl power" pop-culture comes about in the west? it's trying to teach girls not to accept infidelity, because they HAVE BEEN for years). Many women may be upset by infidelity and get angry, but still, MANY do not have the strength to leave their partners. In the end, isn't this acceptance? Isn't the myth of strong western women more attributable to a (very good) media ideal (which I agree with, but don't believe is the case) rather than something based on what happens in real life?

Infidelity is probably not much rarer in the west, and neither is acceptance of it. I think it probably mostly comes down to this Christian ethic of denial. Denial of desire, denial of true feelings, denial of paedophilia (which is rife in the clergy), homosexuality (also rife in the clergy) etc etc.

Of course I'm not saying we should accept infidelity, or that we shouldnt try to fight it, but I don't think it, or acceptance of it is necessarily more prominent in asia.

I'm very happy that you report a happy marriage and hope everybody can achieve happiness the way you have.

Not all men are like that ba...agreeing to Jay's comment, men have self control just like women do..they're no idiot who just think of fooling around all day long. If ladies are going to have that presumption that their men are going to find other chicks when their body go saggy in times to come then sure they're going to be so happy right now having that pre-planted ideas in their heads they are "allowed' to do so with wives' "permission" way ahead. It doesn't mean anything to be married.

"commit to one woman and one woman only, for the rest of my life, till death do us part..."

men tend to say such thing to their partner , but at the end they jz neva keep their promise..

spot on, Kenny. this principle of staying true to one person after marriage is worth upholding. for me, i feel that a real man is someone who is committed to one woman. not someone who surrenders to his urges for other women. that's just weak.. i'd rather stay single if i can't find a guy like that. i can be rich n successful myself.

ASIAN FEMALES NEED TO HAVE GIRL POWER!

DON'T ACCEPT YOUR MAN CHEATING ON YOU! KICK HIS @#$! ASS IF HE DOES THAT!

GO GIRLS GO!

p/s I'm a guy :P

kenny. you're so romantic like a tomato....

AAAwwwww......

wow it makes u think hard i can see.

u cant deny the old saying:

men are control by dick.

when come to sex, men try to conquer as much women as possible in his life. it is perfectly fine to be horny, thats y more and more men choose to marry later. Great entry!

I once heard a pastor said: "You see the education is going for the peak nowadays but you dont see the morality is going the same direction as education". Seeing all that immorality happening around the globe, i still do not wish to believe the saying "women think with brain but men think with the lower part of the body". Do something men~ and women as well.

Hi Kenny..Marriage is based on four things:1)Ur faith 2)Look 3)Money 4)Bloodline=keturunan.
If u choose Bloodline,ur spouse might look down at you if u come from family which is not royalty or some big name watsoeva!If u based it on Money,ur partner might leave u once they met some other richer mate.If u based it on look,sexier outsider will win in the end..but if u get married for God's Sake...u know that u or ur partner won't have the guts to cheat!Cos in God's name,marriage is about sharing,making things better,to enrich ur point of view.Over all,it is supposed to make u a better person,for today and the hereafter world!I strongly believe in that,InsyaAllah!But as u know..some people just dun care,even if the religion has outlined the basic and necessary thing from the start,they always screw up coz they always follow their own lust and idealism.i believe avery religion has their own guidelines..but then again..people nowadays are so ignorant..that they reflect only the bad thing on life.I hope my marriage stays as it is now..hapyy,contented,trustworthy.most of all,may we all grow to a better person each coming day!peace!

真不明白﹐以前的人盲婚啞嫁﹐可以過的幸福快樂。
現代人﹐有自由﹐自主權﹐受教育﹐可是各個離婚收場。

以前的人﹐盲目跟从﹐一切以丈夫為主。
現代人﹐自我中心﹐一切的出發點都是為了自己﹐終究搞得遍体鳞伤.

someone i know wants to leave his wife of years to go for a teenage girl. Well.. probably love is blind. This guy is not like rich and successful.. and the young girl is not like very pretty or sexy at all. And the wife has been so understanding and having the patience with him over the years.... sometimes you wonder what have you done wrong to deserve all this? Probably at the first place.. by marrying the wrong person... who you thought will spend the rest of your life together with, thru' good and bad times...

Sad isn't it?.. and it really hurts (deeply). Not every woman can just close one eye just like that.. especially if the woman really loves the man so much.

Kenny.. good to know you're a one woman man.... ;) Wish that some men will think the same.

maybe i was raised with old values, or maybe i am a little airy fairy still in the head, but my dad brought me up to believe marriage is for life and for the happiness of 2 people (and then the children) than for one's self-gratification.

i don't believe in infidelity "so long as my husband comes home to me at the end of the day". if you want to logicalise everything, his money would be half spent on that extra women, rather than fully spent on the family. this can result in negligence sometimes.

but the emotional side of things is that this man's heart is no longer solely yours and your family's. i will not sleep in the same bed as such a man because it is not only painful, it breaks the very reason why we even got married.

no, i don't believe in tolerating infidelity. divorce rates are high, and infidelity rates are going up. is there a way out? maybe, but i am not sure what it is in the short run, but perhaps things could be prevented if people stop trying to get married because "it's the right thing to do, we have dated xxx amount of months/days/years." and etc excuses that shouldn't be lead into marriage.

so thought provoking kenny..but i think that men who do that are pigs though.they want to have their cake and eat it too.

i have been married for 10 years. it has not been easy and of course there have been temptations for both of us.

in my opinion though, the spouse (man or woman) SHOULD NOT turn a blind eye if one of them cheats. the cheating spouse must be brought to book and made accountable for his/ her actions.

a marriage is about commitment to long-term fidelity and love. cheating is not an expression of either of the above.

having said that, it's also a good idea for both spouses to remain financially independent should there be a need to go separate ways later. it is also easier to preserve your self worth and respect when you are financially independent of each other.

Good to know at least there is some sense of morality out there in the world. I thought it was depleted already...

Why not marry early and fool around with your wife? Same thing what!

ok, here's my situation. hubby is financially secure, loving father but a lousy hubby! wil not kiss me on my mouth cox according to him im er..a slobber. wil not make love cox he's tired all the time. tell me, how can a wife who is young (30x) and prettty(if i say so myself) stand not being kissed, huged and touched by your half? do i have the right to find affections from somewhere else besides my kids?? how do i keep sane? trust me, i have tried everything to make this work but somehow its always dead wall at the end..

Well. It is not a problem only about man. Gals also have the same problem. I know some gals (pretty gals, of course) that DATES with other guys even they are alreayd in relationships.

They claims that they are faithful to love. Ya. Faithful to love, as long as you dont sleep with guys other than your "claimed" bf??

So dont just blame men. Human are always selfish creatures. Huamn do things for their own needs. Men want to find other women coz their physiological need cannot be satiated. And they really do that when they can afford it. Same for women. They want to displace their "bf" if they feel the "bf"s are not rich enough of handsome enough. And they really do it if they feel they are attractive enough to find some other guys. So they date with other guys. Before they find one, they can still claim that "I'm so faithful to love".

What a f***ed world.

awww... that is sooooo sweet...

Hmm, very interesting take. I do quite agree with your philosophy in marrying late and such.

However, in this day and age; love doesn't really exists (that is my opinion only eh..)

As long as the person is financially viable, he will have a higher chance to lure the opposite sex. Nice house, nice car, swanky clothes coupled with monies to burn. Doesn't really matter if the fellow is a pure breed asshole.

Good and decent guys with average income will have a harder act to follow. I have seen and experience one myself and I realise that love is really a fickle thing. It is hard to convince the girl that you can be a good provider in future whereas another guy that is chasing her has all the necessary goods to provide her comfort and security instantly.

In conclusion, money rules in our current society. Love takes a setback but I digress.....

Wish you all the best that you find your mate and marry happy Kenny.

I personally don't believe in marriage though. Just wanna get my beach house and Ducati and ride away

To Anonymous,
Confirmed your hubby is a GAY. If not, is your pussy damn suck! No feel at all. He rather DIY them stick his dick in your lousy pussy.

it's because of guys like you still exist in this world that makes me keep on being hopeful of this cruel cruel world.

Hey, your argument just went one round as you are saying that you will still flirt but it's just before marriage. Marriage to the modern ppl these days is just a formality but the true meaning is given by the parties involved. I am sure if many ppl can see through the curtain of marriage, it's loyalty and love that counts. You can have marriage without loyalty and love but you cannot love someone without loyalty.

Anyway it's all a question of needs and wants. The guy wants someting more exciting, the girl doesn't want to worry about putting a meal on the table. Kenny, blogging about it doesn't help as this should have been females' best kept secret, now that the cat is out of the bag i.e. some woman condone such act, it puts them in a compromise position. Great Blog!

PS: I am a typical male.

Kenny, a bit scary too.I got to agree with the phrase "These days you ask a girl the same question and she'll say "I wanna be Paris Hilton" or "Victoria Beckham"!".

Over here (Bangkok) having mistresses is a status symbol. Men do it simply because they can or they want to feel young (if they are old) again.
A measure of success.

But cheaters will always cheat no matter their financial condition. No justification needed.

Oh, and there is true love la.

This is typically what happens in the modern world of compromise. Compromise is good in some situations allowing a win-win solution to an other-wise sticky situation. However, there are always somethings that shouldnt ever be compromised. And one of the things that we should never compromise is our principles.

Unfortunately, people dont believe in principles and ideals anymore because they are hard to achieve and keep, and the end result is the compromises which leads to morale bankrupcy.

Myself, I dont believe in compromises when it comes to my principles in life. It's always only Black and White, never in shades of Gray. That's my 2 cents.

*claps* party tonite :)

It's glad to know that they are still nice men in existence, or at least nice thoughts, though these men claims to be loyal to their wives, how can one be sure till the day he dies..

I have lost hope since long ago..and developed my theory into believing that if I never fall for someone, I'll never get hurt then.

man, it is touching n truely make me fall in love to u, kenny. so nice if my future husband had same thought as u. let us pray....

bravo!

thank you

i agree with kenny....it aint all bout money..money can come n go just like dat *snaps fingers*..but somebody who loves u 4 who u are n not meterial reasons...now dats s'thing dat is hard to get n if u do, pls freaking hold on 2 it!!!

wow.. you sound like a really nice guy. i hope you keep true to your words. it'll be nice to have more men thinking like you =)

I think it is unacceptable for a person to cheat on their partner - this goes for both men and women.

A person who cheats has no respect or love for their partner and there is no reason to stay in a relationship with a person like that. Men are not genetically predisposed to being lusting dirtbags. There is something called self control and everyone is expected to use it.

A marriage is a binding commitment to love and to be faithful to one and only one person. If you are not more than 100% certain that you are ready for this then do not get married. Spare your partner all that undeserved hurt and pain.

Girls - You do not need to rely on a man to provide for you especially in this age where everyone is educated to a reasonable degree. Get yourself a job and be financially independent. With this comes respect and somehow men seem to like that. The dirtbag percentage of men are more likely to stray knowing that no matter what happens you cannot leave as you are dependent on them. Any girl who says they can deal with their husband cheating as long as they can enjoy the luxurious life of being a 'tai tai' has a serious misconception of reality.

Just another interesting point to note... A woman's real enemy is another woman. Not a man. So girls, have some decency and respect for other women too. Don't be a home breaker. There's nothing in it for you dealing with a scum bag man and you're only causing hurt to someone else who doesn't deserve it.

It's rare to find guys who think like you. But maybe I'm still young, and don't really know much yet, but I believe that a woman will be happier with a faithful man who may not be as successful as one who's errr, prone to infidelity. But then again, people shouldn't generalise, there are lots of faithful and successful men out there. And anyway, true happiness is what comes from the heart

Maybe it's cause I'm a hopeless romantic, but I believe that love conquers all, and such matters like "lifestyle" and "materialistic happiness" are trivial. Besides, there are things that money can't buy =P

So yeah, kudos to you Kenny, you made a wonderful stand! ^^

So how are you and Nicole these days? :)

I think there shouldn't even be ANY fooling around in the first place for any relationship.. and its sad how the women accept it as how their successful husbands are gonna have an affair, BECAUSE IF HE DOES I WILL FILE FOR DIVORCE MUAHAHHAHA AND GET HALF HIS MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

hi, i've to agree with u about being monogamous. The thing is be single if u still wanna fool around with those girls out there. Y make life complicated and bring suffering to your beloved wife and children who are the most innocent of all?

so how many gals u 'fool' around a day?

awww kenny u so sweet
i wanna marry u..

it's kinda de fact..
rich man, most of them thinks that money can buy them anithing, expecially women..
crapss..

marriage means that you had found ur one and only love that you can stay with him/her forever and ever, till death bring both apart..

for me, a female, wont wanna marry a guy who dun treat and respect me as his one and only love for his life..

say me selfish or anything like tt..
i wont wan my husband's heart to be shared with another gurl..

It is easier to be said than done. But I do know one thing. Man will change when the time comes.... eventually! I'm talking thru experience and people that I know around me. The unexpected person will surprise you one day.

Too bad, i've seen to much to be convinced otherwise.

Rich man = jerks.

Hijackqueen: EXACTLY.
They talk now, change later, and forget what they have promised in the first place.

yes, i guess that's how life goes.. i have a boyfriend for 8 years, even if it hurt me i would allowed him to go out and meet girls, coz i dont want to lose him. :(

yes, i guess that's how life goes.. i have a boyfriend for 8 years, even if it hurt me i would allowed him to go out and meet girls, coz i dont want to lose him. :(

It touches me deeply to see that you are one of the guys who strongly believe in faithfulness and monogamous marriage.

I had heard from a few friends who believed in 'close one eye' concept as they claimed that at the end of the day, their husband/bf will come home to them, love them the most and most importantly don't even love the young vixens.

Yet, I don't believe that their husband/bf 'love them most' because all I can see is the lack of respect for them. Have they forgotten that love is supposed to comprise of respect, care, considerate and compromise? How can you say that he loves you most when he's trampling all over your self-respect? Do you think he makes you an exception as a human while he goes around sleeping with other women whom he sees them as some sex toy? If all you care is whether he gives you money to spend at the end, then, you are really no different from those 'mistresses'.

Ladies, wake up.

As for guys, if you think that Kenny and a few commentors are just being soft and men is cheating is an ok thing to do (I know a couple of friends who are like that, trust me, I lectured them and they never get it), how would you feel if your wife/gf go around sleeping with other guys? Don't tell me that you'll feel elated for having such sexually driven partner, I don't believe you. I often find guys who are unfaithful to their partners themselves are not happy to find their gf/wives are unfaithful too. I'm sure you'll feel the exact way that those girls who had been cheated on - Trampled pride.

For this sort of guys, I hope it serves as a wake up call.

On the other side of the argument, I do kind of feel sorry for the cheater, particularly the successful rich cheater. Why? Simply because they are being valued as a wallet, entertainment unit and tool.

Of all things, not valued and loved as a unique individual human.

God damn it, my comment is too long :p

yes, i guess that's how life goes.. i have a boyfriend for 8 years, even if it hurt me i would allowed him to go out and meet girls, coz i dont want to lose him. :(

Wow....I am surprised that there are women who think this way. I'm not a feminist or anything, but to all females out there: WHERE IS YOUR SELF-RESPECT?! Sigh...I suppose this is the outcome of a fallen world. And kenny, I love your blog, but I disagree with you about flirting and having all sorts of relationships prior to marriage. Marriage is a huge commitment, and you should stick with it. Even if you meet the love of your life AFTER you get married, you can still choose to stay in it. But even BEFORE you get married, you should have marriage in mind before getting into a relationship (this is not to say you WILL marry the person, but you PLAN to). For what is the point of being "committed" to a person if you do not plan to marry them? You're just setting yourself up for heartache. As for "flings", well, I'm opposed to them because I feel that one's physical and spiritual self are united, and when you violate one self, the other suffers.

And to "the angel": I'm sorry that you have hurt so much in the past. But loving is not a crime, and one has much to gain from loving another. Yes, love hurts. In fact, if love did not hurt, one might question whether that is true love at all. There is so much joy in loving, and being loved. I hope that one day, maybe you will start to love again. You may cry, but I hope that you will mostly laugh, and see that it was worth the tears you shed in the past. That you may truly appreciate the present, and things that are yet to come.

Men rule. Kenny's not a man.

Men should have more than one woman. Woman can only have one man.

that's y i married a man who's 14 yrs older than me. dat's not to say love is absent from the equation; it's the main ingredient. but he's happy he got a sweet young thing and i'm happy to get a stable, secure husband - not only financially, but emotionally as well.

i know a Msian friend of mine who believes that we are really little better than serial monogamists. she thinks that as long as we re in a loving relationship (legally married or not) we tend to be faithful to our spouses/partners. but we ll be more than willing cheat on them once the love-bond ends, or when love turns into routine, or boredom, or simply the knowledge sometimes that you ve gotten hitched for reasons other than wanting to be with your spouse/partner.

society and all the major religions have told us that man must be faithful to one woman alone. i myself dont think such ideas are inherent in human nature. they are and have been countless socities and cultures in the world that discount or disregard one-to-one fidelity in marriage.

http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1148029464/Lost_Reality..._He_Said_She

its damn gross

convert to muslim and marry 4 wives lo

Cheaters are narcissistic lovers. It is different from loving someone truly.

These guys have no backbone, and will live with emotional scars from guilt, and become neurotic.

I'm your typical malaysian young man. And the fcked up thing is that every adult man in my family has cheated before, and some, still cheating. Every. Single. ****er.

My grandma says, "One day you'll understand."
I say, "Screw that la, popo, you raised lamers. But I still love you la.."

There are many books out there that are there to help couples who want to stay in love with one another. Start reading. Keep in shape, and do what it takes to help keep your marriage lively. I believe no prudent man/woman would ignore the fact that they'd need help to escape the world's increasing divorce rates and the 'one eye closed' mentality.

I for one am optimistic. Where are the men with integrity, discipline, personal values and wisdom? They are out there.

To be honest, if I were a woman, I would not compromise on my man.

I would not want to compromise my life. Maybe one day, when enough of the world's population will only marry proper and eligible people, these losers will feel outcasted, and begin conforming. Sadly, its the other way around.

convert to muslim and marry 4 wives lo

No matter what anyone assumes - love and loyalty does exist - and those of you who choose not to know it, well I feel sorry for you.

The more I hear about women who are willing to compensate their happiness for the sake of their husbands' infeditiliy, the more lucky I feel to have my husband.

They make me realize what a great guy he is - how sweet and loving, and most of all, loyal he is to me. He's also pretty darn hot and makes a good living.

After we find perfection in a soul mate - how could we possibly ever find any other partner tempting?

My take on that --> TREAT YOURSELVES TO THE GOOD LIFE LADIES!!

It is time to raise the bar:

Now men must be rich AND loyal :) (These guys DO exist!!)

So what are you waiting for? Lose that pathetic excuse for a scrotum and get yourself a guy with a REAL dick!

thre is no rite or wrong answer... in our world today it all depends on our personal preferences...and the concept on wants and needs and the ability to deliver... those 'one woman man' idealist...wud u rather ur husband sit home all day..not being able to put the basic 3 meals a day on the table...sit around do nuthing but says i love u? or wud u rather he showers u wif gifts and u be envy of all the other ladies around u (but he does sleeps around a little but at end of day...comes back and still loves u)? not all people are lucky enough to have a perfect partner...that leaves a lot of us who have to compromise...getting one thing...losing another... love is about compromise... 'we cant always get what we want...we can work hard to achieve it... but we must always get what we need...' *rules of business*

it all comes down to our own choices :)

-just my two cents of thoughts-

To Hypocrite:

You wrote:
"Men rule. Kenny's not a man.

Men should have more than one woman. Woman can only have one man."

It's people like you that I don't consider as human. Because you really are not. What you just said demonstrated that men are inconsiderate sexual stupid selfish bastards who don't even think women as another human being. Oh wait, I shouldn't have said "people like you", it should be "Stupid aliens like you". I don't even know which species and genus you belong to.

So, yes, you are not human. This world is a better place without stupid aliens like you.

you know what, maybe its because you talked to someone who wasn't probably as religious as some other people in your country.

ask any makcik on the street whether she'd tolerate an adulterous husband? she'd either divorce him, castrate him, or if she'd really kind, stay with him but never forget nor forgive him. i'm not as old as a makcik, but hey! i think the same way (i'm going on 19 by the way)

according to islam, if one is caught in the act of berzina-ing then thats it, you could bloody die and you're also condemned to hell. and you know what? i stand by that because adultery is wrong. why sow your wild oats now when you've already your chance at it?

lets think of it this way. men are horny since they first start morphing into men, no? so why do the older men go around looking for the younger ones, when the younger men haven't a chance yet? its time to give the young generation a chance people.

why your girlfriends have these kinds of views. well i don't know. i've always thought its the couple's responsibility to always have a spicy sex life, such that such things couldn't happen.

its good that you're a 1 woman man! such people are few.=)

It does not only apply to succesful people. Even those who are just average will tend to wander.

whoah .... kenny!!

will u marry me?
lol
what is that... your fourth marriage proposal?
lol

admirable.
very.

wow i found that really touching! lol. that last line was really sweet!

*sigh*

Dear Kenny,

A person goes through stages in his or her life. Just go back and read your essay assignments when you were in high school, embarassing huh?

So what you feel today might not be what you feel in the future. Just ask yourself one thing: who was your favourite band\movie star\or insert any object or person here, when you were 10, 15 and now?

You change with your unique experiences (good or bad) in your long arduos life.

I agree that infidelity is bad, very bad. But we are made of flesh and blood, unfortunately.

Not all extra marital affairs are for sex alone. Sometimes you will meet a person that is more compatible than the person you married when you were still young or immature. Age has nothing to do with maturity. Some people never achieve maturity in their lifetime. Just go to some "fing tao" place and talk to those 50 year olds.

Well its a debate that will have no winners.

Anyway I love your style and your youthful energy. Cheers and keep up the good work!!

Kudos to you, Kenny for holding dear to your idea of what a marriage should be. Don't ever lose that.
Your woman friends' cynicism really sends a chill down my spine. That a woman has no qualm about hurting another really saddens me. (Very often, it is not just the married couples who are involved. There are innocent children too.) That a woman should turn a blind eye to her husband's philandering ways shows a lack of self-esteem on her part. It speaks volumes for the moral fibre of the society we live in.
But all is not lost. It's heartening to note that there are so many people out there who feel disgusted by infidelity.

If I'm a gal, I cant accept such a thing...

Being a guy, I also cant agree or accept smth like this!

I'm quite appalled that a gal actually thinks it's ok...

The world has changed but I'm only 20! Wow...

Your pictures are damn random.

the direction one chooses to take depends on the principles they were brought up with.

for me, i will not compromise my principles for anything immoral and will not condone the actions of anyone who does.

Monogamy is a relatively new concept imported from the decadent Western societies in less than 100 years. In more than 2000 years, conservative Chinese (and Muslim) societies accept the idea of men having "3 wives and 4 concubines (san qi si qie)" (and 4 wives in the case of Muslim societies). And so there is nothing immoral for Chinese gals to close one eye.

Although it's a bit far away for me to think about marriage, i do agree dat a happy faithful relationship is a lot better than some successful career. On the other thought i'd be good to have both

You sure you are going to have only and only woman ? This is what you say now. Later when you become f****** rich or f****** hamsap, you will have different thought

now this is a good post

While monogamy may be a relatively new concept, in my opinion, it is also a better concept than the 'san qi si qie'or conservative chinese thinking that it's ok for men to fool around. The conservative chinese concept came around bcause of a careless disrespect for women. Women had a very low or no status at all in society.

Let me point out an analogy. The concept of women having an equal status to men is far newer than the concept of monogamy. In the old days, women were not allowed to own property, estranged wives were separated from the children they bore. Does that mean that gender equality is less than the idea that women are subordinate to men?

No one is saying that girls who think that it's ok for men to cheat are immoral. I think Kenny (if I may so presume) is saying a completely different thing. He is viewing the woman he is going to love as an equal. He loves her and wants to give her all of him. There are no half ways.

To 40 something:

I don't agree with what you said. I don't think it's mature to cheat at all. In fact, I think it reflects a lack of self-control and immaturity on the cheater.

There will always be someone out there who might appears to 'fit' you better than your spouse. There will always be someone out there more perfect than your spouse. But love should transcend lust and passion. Relationships require hard work, and just because I am not very happy with my spouse right now, and that Mr X looks like a far better fit with me means I can go cheat.

Kenny,

you are one of the few good men in this world.

yeah, get infected by the one-gina disease!

kenny if what u said is true, u really have my respect

Interesting perspective, but I really don't understand the amount of sympathy towards the shallow women.

Shallow stupid women who are only concerned with their high maintenance lifestyles deserve to marry shallow stupid rich men who will cheat on them.

I think it's perfect match.

I mean seriously, if your only concern of your other half is that of looks and wealth, you really won't have a happy marriage. A lifetime commitment will require more than just good looks and money. Looks will go away, and money can disappear too.. but what's in the mind, heart and soul will stay forever.

i am reminded of a quote from the first season of ally mcbeal (before your time perhaps, kenny :))

"the world is no longer a romantic place. but some of its inhabitants still are. dont let the world win."

its a real sad state of affairs when people feel they need to rationalise their choices in life. i hope that if i were ever 'tested' in this manner, i would not compromise my ideals. i would want full commitment and settle for nothing less.

Prenuptial agreement Kenny...Prenuptial agreement, it's the safety belt for all marriages.

OMG kenny you've caught the same disease i have!

Onegina! :P

Cheers to you kenny.

Isn't it sad that this kind of thought occurs mainly to Asian women, how fucking pathetic is that? It's a fact of life when you jut sit down and accept and forgive the fact that your husband cheated on you?

I agree with the comment at the beginning of this thread
-all of who were Asian but never from a White or Black woman. Their response is “If he cheats I'll kick his butt, and then leave him”-

These kind of women that forgives their husband for cheating continuously on them are pathetic, you can say that they tried to keep things together and stuff, but in the end, it's just gross disrespect on herself no matter what. In the end, the husband is still gonna fool around and think that he deserves it.

I don't understand why it is so hard to work hard for your own education and work and make a decent living yourself instead of trying to get married rich people to support you. Truth is, in the end, when you are old and saggy, most possibly, your "income" from the rich bf is gonna stop coming anyway.

so to get the flirting bug outta your system . .
you pak-tuo with plenty of women . ..
sleep the night them and have the time of your life for that night . .
and then get married ?
ummm .. .. y not ?

Cheating is wrong. Period

no one is consider cheating unless get caught

ya, play hard b4 your commitment. marriage is a commitment between the two. if one side use marriage to reach their goal but no pure love, this is not called a marriage, this is call-selling body in an accepted way by society. i feel very sorry for those who have to take this option cause too poor financially. some use marriage for companionship, or others etc etc.
good that you are honest to yourself Kenny, you are your own judge, who can judge who in this world, arent we all facing same thing here on earth? and i can see you are romantic guy! if were a lady, i want my husband to focus JUST on me and no one else! otherwise, i rather love myself.
no worry about the hair, it look so minor problem still, i personally reckon your hair problem is due to stress, you need a girl or many girls to make each other happy, take care bro!
hey you dont laugh, you the same!
(if u laugh)

good that you think that way.but when temptation comes along,its gonna be really hard to say what you'll do.

Who r u arrow?

Cheating is plain wrong. 'Nuff said.

I won't cheat on my boyfriend/husband. And I pray to God he won't do the same to me.

Btw, I have no desire to be either Paris Hilton or Victoria Beckham. At all. :)

Good entry! Show the world what real men should be like.

OH please, men who cheat don't deserve a wife or children.

It's sick for wife to know that the man she has commited herself to is cheating and even worse for a child to find out.

you're a good man as l can say!!

but then..its always hard to say when things change..like..what if ur wife cheated on u, would you still be loyal if she still comes back home to you. So l guess things are really hard to say . BUt then its good to have fun before u really marry.

LOL..you can't accept what Diane said? That is a fact closer than home. You should learn to respect these women more, else you may not have lead such a blissful family life as you had.

when i was in love, i have no appetide for anyone else! the hollywood star cant even catch my eyes.

Please do take into account that you are INDEED LOSING HAIR... sometimes something just cannot wait...

You wrote:
"Men rule. Kenny's not a man.

Men should have more than one woman. Woman can only have one man."

It's people like you that I don't consider as human. Because you really are not. What you just said demonstrated that men are inconsiderate sexual stupid selfish bastards who don't even think women as another human being. Oh wait, I shouldn't have said "people like you", it should be "Stupid aliens like you". I don't even know which species and genus you belong to.

So, yes, you are not human. This world is a better place without stupid aliens like you.>>>>>

haha... you got me well. I take back my inconsiderate comments. Show respect to you. For women out there, sorry!

Great men share love. They are not selfish. Great men take more responsibilities, the macro views of men are different from women. Women are best at micro views.

However, I don't agree men go after women for lust and sex. We should have respect for men ourselves and women themselves. Great man don't go women for sex only, they go after women for loves and carings also.

Finally, after married, I concur with man to woman only. GOD bless the couple.

hope you can become a good husband
to me,a good husband is,a man i love.
sometimes men are just children,affairs sometimes happen just like a child escape from school for a day becoz he wants to play.
if i dont care about his future,i can punish him by kick him out of the school forever
but for someone you care,enduring and forgiving is the way
not all men can be as good ambition as you,if no enduring,and seeing facts from many angle,marriage is just like a paper you can tear it anytime

AMEN~!

*clap my hands*

I've got to mention that a strategy of marrying at an older age has its problems too, if you are planning to have children. Chances are you'd be aiming for a woman who is young enough to bear children safely, so then, you'd have to marry someone younger by quite a bit? It is well known that a big age gap can present problems in a relationship, although there are exceptions, of course. Also, increasingly studies show that children born to older men appear to have congenital problems - a recent one showed a six-times greater risk of autism for over 40 yr old fathers. Well, that's if you plan to have kids in the first place..

I'm a silent reader of your blog, and you don't know me..but i just had to comment on what you just posted..A few girlfriends and I talked on this subject too, and true, in this world, there's always this link with rich, succesful husbands = unfaithful.. but, of course like you, i believe in the meaning of long and lasting marriage. Cheers! its a good blog!

ooo.. kenny looks sexy!! i like dat pic!

I dont understand why some girls are still bent on looking for men who are rich and successful. Can't you be that yourself? Rather than depending on someone else, the best would be to stand on your own two feet.

Name me a rich guy ( even average guys ) who doesn't have affairs and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Unfortunately this is the REAL world that's why women must empower their daughters to be educated, financially independent and not take this shit from their husbands.

Hey Kenny!

I'm so glad that there are still guys who think like you do! I'm sure your wife-to-be will be really happy and blessed to know that whatever you have written came from your heart.

And I don't think that most women would close one eye to her husband's infidelity. I hope my future husband will stay faithful till the very end! even if our lives is not as 'perfect' and 'successful' in some definitions.

:D

im glad guys like you are still around. knowing that woman now think that way, what abt men, you tell me. so it shows that you are very rare. whoever you marry, will be very lucky.

god, you're so nice

I'm sure there are many good comments here, but no chance in hell do I have the time to read it all.

Kenny, your writing shows that you are a moral man but it is also a bit naive. For you it is important to not commit adultery in your future marriage. The idea that you will be able to fuck around before marrying and get the lust for young girls out of your system is absurd, the real world doesn't work like that at all, it's a bit like the christians that believe they can cure homosexuals. You will always lust for young girls the rest of your life no matter how gorgeous your wife is, it is hardwired in your genes and the core of your mind.

Fucking others than your wife is not necesarily a death sin, this is very much a cultural thing. If your wife isn't too worried about it, maybe she has her own lover, then it can actually be totally ok.

I don't consider myself a paticularly moral person and certainly not a role model for anyone, I got several girls that I fuck regularly, and I date even more girls. Are the girls happy about that, not really, but they know that they are not the only one, I'm pretty open about my affairs.

Another thing to keep in mind is that generally speaking girls are not as conserned about physical extra marital affairs, they operate on an emotional level. Many girls/women will accept their husband/boyfriend fucking other girls as long as they are nr.1.

If the girl knows that she is the one you love the most then she will not get too upset about what you do in your spare time. She want's a husband that will hang around to support the kids, that is her priority number one.

I believe you Kenny.

I don't think any other bachelor male bloggers, especially, would dare to publicly declare in their own blogs that they will "commit to one woman and one woman only, for the rest of my life, till death do us part."

All the best & I'm very happy for the woman you're gonna marry one day. :)

I just hope & pray that I will have the opportunity to be loved by a man like you. ;)

I would NEVER condone a cheating husband...I can't believe your friends are saying what they said...It's either I have it all or none. And I'd rather have none than half.

gud one kenny!
i reli agree to wat u said..
i cant bliv there r woman out there who r ok wit d fact their husband is sleepin around wit younger girls n don blame them..lik wat the heck wei!!!!wat hav this world turn into..i mean..no offence but woman behavin lik dat perceiving things dat way r kinda cheap..P-L-E-A-S-E la!! its ur husband la n u let him go havin so much of fun wit some tender girls who he thinks is wayyyyyyy beta den their wives..d oni reason they go bac to their wives is coz of their responsibility towards their children!! if they had their way they wud not even go bac..COME ON..don b so naive n green woman...
stay moderate kenny..don b so freakin rich o ul go round lusting for tender girls to hav sex wit

Kenny, I keep wondering though, why would women nowadays have the idea to insist marrying rich guys? Has the world become so materialistic that love does not exist anymore, where marriage is only to gain another's property, so that she (ahem not they) can live happily ever after?

well, impressed by what u said...

nice words.
but not going to believe u anyway.
u wont hide ur birdie to other women although married.

it's so sad to know the awful truth on marriage these days. where has fairy tales gone to in our lives?
i believe every succesful man has a nice caring woman at his back to support his ups and down during all these years of building a success career.
are we women, became sex slaves once again? and do we women, have ever been the eyes of the husband once?
sad.

hey kenny.
I'm young and all (you've came by my blog you know prolly how old I am) and experienced how it feels like being approached by married men.

I feel disgusted and I wanna avoid these people, y'know.and I do want a faithful husband. so if my husband in future fucks someone else, I couldn't take it.

I love faithfulness-it's a choice someone should make (then again,it depends on individual)- but don't you think faithfulness brings more joy? as cliche as it sounds, it's very true,to me at least.

nice post there kenny.there adds on to a reason why I love love love reading your post!
=)

why no one is interested in the first pic? I wana know lol

don't want to break this up but kenny, your teeth is awful. can you imagine your gf when she does french kiss to you? she'll be like,.. "gross.." when her tongue wiggles trough the hard, sharpy edges of your teeth.. but, she says nothing to make you happy and you look like an idiot, but deep down inside, she hoped that you'd have a better teeth in the future.

lol

That's is very nice of you to think that way... But as for me..I need to get to know more women like Diana.

It's actually us ourselves who decide how our world is like. Men who have needs/men who cheat are LOSERS.

I totally agree with u dude...nowdays ppl live in material world, there are lots of material girls out there

GO KENNY! You're right! Your wife will be so uber lucky to haf ya

Kenny! You're so smart witty and sweet! I so totaly salute you =DDD

I think it's a terrible thing to believe in. Perhaps it is an asian thing like somebody mentioned, women are expected to be "obidient" and aren't viewed as the husband's equal. I don't like to point this out as a fact, just mere observational. I do know people from my parents' generation who has marriage situation as said, yet i think it really depends on both parties. it is possible to have a monogamous mariage, my parents are living in rather happy monogamous marriage. :)

"obidient"???? haha

Excellent post, Kenny. God bless u.

Beg to differ, Kenny. I think things are changing (well, can't comment on Kuching coz I don't live there).

The women I know and grew up with are smart, uni educated, hot and 'sex in the city' savvy. They're independent and financially stable, and not as forgiving or vulnerable as the women in my mum's generation.

I think that familiar story of a man turning 50, ditching his wife and dating his secretary will hopefully bypass our generation...As for 'Diane' - I'm sure she'll end up with someone like yourself, so nothing to worry about, eh? ;)

I am sure that's just one school of thought flying around. I believe in the institution of marriage and plan to keep it when I get to own it.

No to hubby philandering. =)

But first must go find bf that have potential to be hubby first. haha

Those young ladies who claim that they "won't blame" their husbands if they strayed in the future - will most likely live to regret having said those words.

They're now young, and are probably going out with several married men, enjoying life having flings with strangers they meet from the bar, pub or club.

I say: You may be having a good life now but really, when you're married and older, you'll have an entirely different set of 'needs' and they include love, care, and attention.

If you can be contented with your man coming home to you everynight after screwing some younger girls outside, then I feel sorry for you.

Actually, i think a lot of gals seems to think like that nowadays...

My fren even mention it in front of her husband (rich) that she doesn't really care if he had affair out there as long as he himself & SHe herself is given enough money to fling & he pls dun bring any disease home...

hMm...hard fact to swallow but a fact nonetheless :)

nice promo. i learn it in marketing too

Well, to me not all rich man act like that, and I have prove too.

My uncle's a successful engineer, has his own company, a millionaire and all, but he never cheated on his wife. I know this cause she passed away just recently due to cancer. She's been having that for the past 7 years. For the pass one year my aunt has been in the hospital almost everyday and everyday you would see him by her side crying, praying, and hiring the best doctors to cure her. He's so rich he could just dump her and go for other women, but he didn't. He was always by her side and faithful to her till her last breath. He didn’t even tell her that she had few weeks left to live and promised her that if she gets well, he'll bring her to china.

So, you see not all rich men are like that, but you don’t find a guy like that everyday.

i'm not married, neither am i seeing anyone. but i dont think that i can tolerate such a horrible thing from my husband/boyfriend... for him to be able to cheat on you means that he doesn't respect, love you enough for him to be worthy of your respect and love! To hell with him!

how can women stay with their cheating husbands and just be one stuck at home waiting for their husbands to come home after they go around younger women....

Have more pride, ladies.....

p/s: you all should read the book "he's just not that into you" ,so that you ladies out there will find that guy who is really into you and not just into you because you're 25.... don't waste the pretty on some worthless guy

Vidar says: "If the girl knows that she is the one you love the most then she will not get too upset about what you do in your spare time. She want's a husband that will hang around to support the kids, that is her priority number one."

You see? THAT's the reason why it's so important for women to be financially independent these days - because you have men like Vidar in this world who thinks that because THEY are the sole breadwinner of the family, their wives and children are therefore deathly dependent on them, regardless of "what they do in their spare time". And we all know that definitely doesn't refer to golf or tai chi.

So what if "you're the only one I love"? I can sleep with 5 different men and tell them all that they are the only one that I love as well, but that's obviously a lie ain't it? Heck, I'll say that people who cheat love NOBODY but themselves, because all they care about are their own sexual and emotional needs.

To Hsin: Living in relationships that allow "cheating" (I prefer to use other words) is not for everyone. If you are a very jealous person this will not work for you. Jealousy is the big problem in any such type of arrangement.

If you and your partner overcome such issues it is possible to live in a loving and respectful relationship that include other partners.

This is not really common in Asia and Singapore but much more common in western countries. It's not about being a bad man or immoral, for such arrangements to work the people involved has to be grown ups, have some sexual and general relationship knowledge. It's not really for kids, so I don't understand why the hell I'm posting these views on kennysia.com! LOL

3 uncles of mine cheated on their wifes..i've already given up on the possibility of ME ever finding a guy who stays faithful.But thanks kenny X)
At least i know such guy still exist in this world.

Why God made us human, made the " successful guy " unloyalty ? Why God made women, old young like the slaves of men ?

i want to live that way too. fool around now. commit later.

i just hope i have the ability to fool around now and the strength to commit later.

i'm 20 and i have the same experience and thinking as ur fren, Diane....somehow, a loyal husband doesnt mean is a good husband...i rather to have a husband who make me happy and comfortable as long as he cheats "nicely and cleanly"

wow... that means we can go f*ck around with girls till before we get marry huh... sounds good... looks like i'm going to delay my 4th marriage this coming friday...

yeah!

It's better to stay faithful to someone for the rest of your life, even if it means being able to only have one woman and well...there's joy in everything ain't there? The loud hailer is a kid, not just any kid, but my kid. I would love him even though he screams and shouts and such. It's part and parcel of life.

i saw a woman slapping another younger woman at kch fest once. And she was saying something like "don't u ever try that in front of me again" (smth along those lines). And her husband was protecting the younger woman from the older woman's slaps. So, obviously u know what it meant. It's so sad, really, to think that we cannot trust most men nowadays.

A marriage means commitment so it's the responsibility of both parties not to get seduced, otherwise don't commit in the first place.

So guys, you have a responsibility to keep ur 'little bro' in ur pants!

To hann-shis: What the fuck are you smoking? How do you justify 'clean' cheating? Marriage is about being loyal to the ones you love, and if he can cheat on you, what for do you want to be with him? Might as well be a prostitute and earn big bucks, if you are more concerned about the money and not love and trust, which is the foundation of a marriage. Girls like you are such disappointments.

Please find some self-respect for yourself.

men these days are just TOO OVER the line. =)
maybe i am still too young to understand all these stuff, but still...women are also too money-minded, if they are those who would forgive their husbands who has affairs.