Its a slow start to the weekend and I’m hardly motivated to do post on my own. But for those who didn’t catch it, here’s the infamous conversation I had with minishorts, reproduced with some Malay words translated and graphics included.
I still get a chuckle everytime I read it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Minishorts and I were slacking off at work. We were talking about my reputation as a crowd pleaser)
minishorts : you horrible lah
Kenny : i please everyone too much
minishorts : reply religiously
minishorts : die lah
minishorts : i go by the mantra : i don’t give a fucking damn.
Kenny : i don’t give a damn, but I can give a fucking.
minishorts : i’m sure
minishorts : how long are you
Kenny : …
Kenny : private question!
minishorts : i want to know
Kenny : siao ah
minishorts : 3 inches limp! yes
minishorts : silence is consent
minishorts : muahahaha!
Kenny : that’s like asking for ur cup size.
minishorts : eh no lah i think
Kenny : u dun tell ppl one u know.
minishorts : 2.5 inches limp
minishorts : i’m a xxxxx
Kenny : !
Kenny : i didn’t ask.
Kenny : u dun crazy.
Kenny : anyway
minishorts : i’m trying to tell you its the same thing
minishorts : so…
minishorts : 2.5 inches limp
Kenny : it doesn’t matter that size it is limp
Kenny : ‘cos limp is useless anyway.
minishorts : maximum 5.5 inches hard
Kenny : hey i never measured.
minishorts : i’m going to blog this
minishorts : mUAHHAHA
minishorts : anyway
minishorts : i think its…
Kenny : but even if i had, i’m not gonna tell.
minishorts : ok
Kenny : !
minishorts : from thumb end
minishorts : to little finger end
minishorts : outstretched
minishorts : that’s the length
minishorts : right not?
Kenny : hey i’m in the office right now
Kenny : not gonna unzip my pants and confirm your statements!
minishorts : chewah words only mah
minishorts : go and wank yourself and see
Kenny : cannot
Kenny : must have images.
minishorts : then come back tell me how big is the big bird
Kenny : waliew
Kenny : wendy asked me the same thing
Kenny : and i didn’t wanna answer her
minishorts : hehehe
Kenny : she said “if you’re long, you’d answer. if you don’t answer, that means you’re short.”
Kenny : !!!
Kenny : die die both ways.
minishorts : i can estimate a guy’s length by his face
minishorts : top of forehead
minishorts : to bottom of chin
minishorts : that’s the length…when hardened..
minishorts : usually correct one
Kenny : no wonder girls like horse face
Kenny : crazy ah
minishorts : you don’t believe go check and see
Kenny : eunuches don’t have flat face
Kenny : squashed face i mean
minishorts : next time you go wanking… you estimate the length of your face
minishorts : use your hands to help lah… then you will be shocked by the accuracy of my prophecy
Kenny : DAMN YOU
Kenny : now everytime i look a man’s face i think of the length of his penis
Kenny : ALL YOUR FAULT
Kenny : shit
Kenny : now i gotta photoshop my face to make it look longer.
minishorts : hahaha!
minishorts : eh what’s the length lah
minishorts : got yellow feathers all around your dick right
Kenny : c’mon. why did u wanna know! not like i’m gonna sleep with you.
Kenny : or anyone else
Kenny : anytime soon.
minishorts : cheh
minishorts : you keep on saying you got big bird
minishorts : OF COURSE WE WANT TO KNOW
Kenny : siao ah
Kenny : of course its all in jest
minishorts : you got your ownself into this
Kenny : hohoho
Kenny : good what
Kenny : keep the suspense there.
Kenny : remain an unsolved mystery.
minishorts : no oh.
minishorts : not fun
minishorts : wait lemme see..
minishorts : yeah lah kautim should be 5.5 inches when hard and solid
Kenny : my face length is longer than 5.5 inch ok
minishorts : yeah meh
minishorts : you take ruler and measure your face length adi
Kenny : 18cm
minishorts : fucker
minishorts : ok i change the metthod
minishorts : FACE width
After the extraction of my 4 wisdom teeth, 2 years ago.
minishorts : from right cheek end to left cheek end
Kenny : ear to ear or what
minishorts : cheek end to cheek end
Kenny : 19 cm
minishorts : hahahahaha
Kenny : depends on where u position it
minishorts : mid-cheek to mid-cheek
Kenny : fuck lah
Kenny : next thing u know u’ll say left nostril to right nostril
minishorts : that one is your flacid length
Kenny : not that short pun
Kenny : c’mon lah
minishorts : you got big nose hole mah
Kenny : how would u like it if ppl say they can measure ur cheebye length by the width of your lips.
Kenny : gross rite
minishorts : got such thing meh
Kenny : everytime ppl look at u, u’d feel violated.
minishorts : where got gross
minishorts : YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR DICK
minishorts : we girls are proud of our vaginas.
Kenny : mann
Kenny : we shouldn’t compare.
minishorts : i’m not comparing
Kenny : everyone is good in their own right
Kenny : heh heh heh
minishorts : i’m just saying it’s like a lock-and-key situation.
minishorts : when you find a man, it’s like you’re looking for the key to your lock.
minishorts : IF the key fits… sex will be superbo.
Kenny : hey, what does it have got anything to do with me.
minishorts : length doesn’t necessarily matter.
Kenny : even if i say 30 cm u’re not gonna leave eric for me.
minishorts : of course not.
minishorts : he is infinite.
Kenny : besides
Kenny : i can just say any number
Kenny : u’ll never know.
Kenny : shit.
minishorts : 30 cm you will look like a hantu lah
minishorts : i’m trying to say… length doesn’t matter… what matters is that the key will fit the lock.
Kenny : …
minishorts : but that doesn’t stop us from wanting to know ‘just how big is kenny’s big bird’.
Kenny : a dick is not a key. a cheebye is not a lock.
Kenny : u dun insert the key into the lock and turn clockwise.
Kenny : u insert the key, remove the key, insert the key, remove….
minishorts : hahahahaa
minishorts : wah you damn experienced hoh
Kenny : 9 months later they’ll produce a baby lock
Kenny : and a baby key
minishorts : WTF YOU TALKING ABOUT
minishorts : i’m asking you about your length
minishorts : you tell me about insert key remove insert key remove
Kenny : well
Kenny : that’s for the ladies to find out.
Kenny : u better dun ask one of ur undercover agents to seduce me.
Kenny : next time i see elaine acting strangely towards me i’ll know one.
minishorts : ok change method
minishorts : i think your key…. i mean dick
minishorts : is the length of the word ‘dick
minishorts : when typed out in times new roman font size 72.
minishorts : correct?
Kenny : well
Kenny : dick is a short-form
Kenny : the actual word is dickonorsaurus.
minishorts : that one
minishorts : if it is dickonorsaurus.
minishorts : then is is the length of that word typed out in times new roman font size … 24
Kenny : scientific name. dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus
Kenny : so there.
minishorts : talk kok king at his best.
minishorts : that one should be times new roman font size 10
Kenny : brb i wanna go to the toilet
Kenny : NOT to measure ok
Kenny : i drank too much water
minishorts : go measure go measure