A lot of flak has been given to our Science Ministry for sending a Malaysian astronaut into space to make teh tarik for the Russians.
A lot of flak has also been given to me for poking fun at Malaysia. But sometimes, it’s not that I wanna joke about my own home country. Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves.
In Malaysia’s defence, we’re not the only country with the dubious honour of being admitted into the ‘Odd News’ section of world newspapers. Recently, it was reported that a zoo in our neighbouring Thailand ran into some problems with the two pandas they’re taking care.
Apparently, the Thais have this two pandas, a male and a female, for four years. All these while, they are trying to push the two of them together, so they could produce some baby pandas and spur on the population of this endangered species. Alas, four years has passed, and nothing happened. Try as they may, the male panda simply cannot get horny enough to hump the female panda.
It then occurred to the Thais that it is very possible that the male panda does not even know the art of making love!
So what the Thais are gonna do – and I’m seriously not making this up – is to screen “PANDA PORN”.
You don’t get to say the words “panda porn” very often.
How it has come to this, I have no idea. I thought animals are naturally born to know how to have sex. Apparently that is not the case.
Heck, even as humans, some of us don’t know how to have sex. Sex education in Form 3 has never been explicit, Malaysian film censors always cut out juicy parts of movies and sex still remains a taboo topic in today’s society.
If it weren’t for the occassional glimpse of underground porn videos on the Internet that everyone would have come across at some point in their lives, I bet Malaysians would end up as an endangered species, next to pandas.
God knows why the two stupid pandas don’t wanna have sex. Maybe the male panda just didn’t wanna sleep with his housemate. Or maybe they just feel awkward together. Everyone knows that when you try to force your male friend and a female friend together, it never works out.
To their credit, the Thais had probably tried other things in their power to make the male panda horny.
The Thais made him listen to raunchy hip-hop music, but the clueless panda must’ve thought 50 Cents’ “Candy Shop” meant sweets and lollies. They brought him to visit the topless bars in Bangkok, but the male panda is not interested – female pandas walk around with no clothes on all the time!
Go-go bars in Bangkok have an unexpected guest
When push comes to shove, the zoo had no choice but to ring up Discovery Channel and say “give us your hottest panda sex making tapes, RIGHT NOW”.
I can’t even imagine how “panda porn” is gonna look like.
Oh my.
It is one of my favourite entries and the poll clearly shows that it is everyone else’s favourite too. Congratulations iwilleatyourpetfrogalive, you have won yourself a brand new LG White Chocolate!
Oh, finally can comment already huh? You should have put up the Panda Porn sample so that we can understand how it’s like 😀
Or maybe the panda’s gay.
how the porn gonna look like? hmm is it the human porn or the panda making love documentary.. even if panda see the human porn, would it be able to understand?
as for the malaysian teh tarik over space… sigh!
Hehe, a good old Kenny post! The Panda in the club is the best. Let’s kick out the kids and New Zealand pics and get some more of these photo edits, that is what you are best at.
Have a happy birthday celebration, looks like a cool club, but I’m not going to Kuching for the weekend!
Sorry you guys aren’t able to leave comments earlier. It should be fixed now. 🙂
the panda is metrosexual. so obvious.
haha, this is super hilarious.
hahaha…funny! the last photo nearly got me choke on my bun.
Whoever created the Panda Porn is sure going to earn a LOT of money!
haha this is hilarious.
perhaps the female panda is not hot enough for him.
panda. porn.
O.O
the next thing, they’ll be having banana porn.
*concern* our banana population is decreasing. *gasp*
😀
SOMONE QUICK! roticanai porn! then we can have alll the roticanai we want!
They need sex surrogate.
yeah agree with shuhui…maybe the poor panda’s all gay-ed up. hmm or they can try replacing bamboo shoots with tongkat ali.
hey kenny..
I wonder who is that guy in blue shirt standing next to you being CUT OFF hoh….
Win.
welcome to malaysia
lol!!!!!!!! panda porn.
Here’s what an aussie thinks bout us. May be interest to most of you. 😛
http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/while-malaysia-fiddles-its-opportunities-are-running-dry/2006/11/14/1163266550487.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1
oppss.. doesnt show the whole link.. try clickin on my name instead. hope it works 😉
Hmm.. the next time they go into space… they might make Sarawak Kolo Mee 🙂
the panda is asexual la… it the latest trend. was in the papers also… more HUMANS are now asexual and prefer not to have sex.
tat top 10 endangered species is funny!!
bravo!!
kenny,u donno how 2 make love??
try harder,fren..haha
‘panda porn’. HAHAHA.
LOL!!!! Kenny u are really creative especially the last picture..haha… U are da man!!!!
HA!HA!HA!KENNY ON ENDANGERED LIST!I AM VERY SURE U HAVE NO PROBLEM FINDING PARTNER.VERY FUNNY ENTRY.BTW HAPPY B-DAY, COULDN’T MADE IT TO KCH, LEAVE NO APPROVED. I WILL LOVE TO SPRAY SOME HORNYNISH IN UR PARTY.
You are right. I find that a lot of maresians are rude, unpolite and as hateable as sydney aussies. Still love Kiwis the most.
Maybe it’s gay. Or it lost its sex drive which can’t be recovered.
But LMAO! I love the Endangered Species thing!
Kennies everywhere are endangered.LOL
I am sure you can get hold of the panda porn for us to view. Quick quick, don’t disappoint us! Haha.
u look endangered kenny ? hehe =)
Kennies everywhere are endangered.LOL
Panda are so cute!!! But they’re super lazy creatures. I didn’t know they were lazy enough to not want sex too…!!! wow..
maybe.. just maybe.. for a female panda, lin hui is really really really really really unattractive 😛
or maybe chuang chuang’s queer. maybe lin hui’s queer.
maybe chuang chuang decided to be a monk. tee hee.
from the article in theage, it says it costs the m’sian govt RM95 million to send that dude into space. if that really is the case, shame on us.
I’m not sure whether i was high when i wrote this post, COZ i think ppl should be thinking about the teh tarik in space more…just THINK about it…the basis for the teh tarik’s wonderful taste n well temperate flavour is GRAVITY! remember how the teh tarikers tarik teh with such grace n skill? they RELY on GRAVITY!!! so how the hades are the they going to do that in space??? where there is NO GRAVITY???
but nuff bout that…lol
i can’t believe that i’m still seeing panda porn jokes here in all places!!haha i have been hearing panda porn jokes for the past few WEEKS already, my goodness… e.g.
i) http://mediocrefilms.com/mating.html
ii)”The porn seems to be working!” says 1 reporter, “after examining the porn, the male panda showed his intelligence by fast forwarding to the ‘good’ parts…”
iii)comedian: “I think that the panda porn has gotta stop. It is making things WORSE! Coz experts just commented that the male panda now refuses to hav sex with any1 besides Jenna Jameson.”
iv)[this joke is base on the chinese pandas]
With a name like ‘Ling-Ling’, no wonder the male panda is gay!
Only 4 months to get a baby or twins, panda porn is cool.
Of all things that we could experiment in space, they decided to experiment the making of teh tarik and the painting of batik, as per the link kenny provided.
At times like this, don’t we just feel so proud being Malaysians, home and abroad?
The Thai gogobar pic…the man with the shirt “Wildmen from Borneo” is tat u, Kenny?jz jk
If the panda’s originated from Thai, I would probably say the male aint doing anything because it knows the female aint who the others claim to be *trans*
That teh-tarik part was funny
Pandas are stupid and lazy animals…They usually spend most of the time sleeping… That’s why they don’t even have sex. I wonder why China treat it as endangered animals.
feed the panda tiger penis. sorted.
It is so true. I learnt in school that pandas just don’t mate like other animals. They need the right weather (cool) and place (clean and tidy), must have enough food (bamboo) and comfortable before they mate, and the problems is usually the males that don’t wanna mate. Hehe, cute animal kingdom we have
I bet panda porn is hell of a lot cheaper to make than sending the astronauts into space
”God knows why the two stupid pandas don’t wanna have sex. Maybe the male panda just didn’t wanna sleep with his housemate. Or maybe they just feel awkward together. Everyone knows that when you try to force your male friend and a female friend together, it never works out.”\
maybe the male panda is gay. ;D
lol XD
or proably the gay panda’s having an affair with the zoo keeper
even gay men need to get off sometimes 😉
funny shit la wei
you know what would be ironic? the pandas finally having sex and the ppl discover the the male panda has panda e.d. muahhaha…..
lol. actually they do have to be taught. i played a zoo game and you had to put the animation so they’ll understand. very “educational”. lol.
totally out of the topic, but anyway..
is there a law againts verbal abuse here in m’sia? can i sue someone for it? as in serious case lar, not those kacang puteh cases..please advise.
showing porn to panda is very common in China, because panda is a lazy species, so maybe they’re lazy even to have sex..who knows -_-
so breeder will put a male and female together and show them porn, and they’ll get horny after watching..serious.
i dun like iwilleatyourfrogalive
sounds so .. made up
nevertheless, it was a nice horrible fairytale
Maybe they should make a tiger porn instead… If not no tiger to hold the shield in the national emblem!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, we were all over each other
and just when I was ready to pound nails through two inch plywood she
looks up at me and says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold
me.”
I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She
responded to
my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and
not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I
think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I
don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled “WHAT?”
I then said “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that
bitch knows I’m smarter than her.
i love panda ! they are so cute =P
I think the male panda’s gay; as gay as Stan Marsh’s dog (South Park, Colorado).
Videos please Kenny of Panda Porn and your birthday party.
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haha~ funny!
actually i think animal porn is not unusual anymore.. watched in animal planets where there were two chimps who don’t mate.
and the animal keepers actually gave them chimp mating video for both of them to watch!!
so what is all this big fuss all about?
this is not the first..
haha~ funny!
actually i think animal porn is not unusual anymore.. watched in animal planets where there were two chimps who don’t mate.
and the animal keepers actually gave them chimp mating video for both of them to watch!!
so what is all this big fuss all about?
this is not the first..
hahahah
Maybe the male panda is gay?
they should get him a male panda instead..lolz
Those looking for Panda Porn DVDs – now selling in Petaling Street. Very cheap RM40 each…
Why don’t people freaking read the other comments before posting comments themselves?? So many people say the male panda is gay. Please la, so many people say already, u still wanna say for wat.
the comments aussie made about malaysia is dam saddening … the age in AU is a well known newspaper and wat they wrote bout it has a huge impact in aus …
WTF is the gov doing ? wtf scientific study ? have they farking lost it or what ? i’ve been through uni and do u know how many of my friends have to go through so much farking hardships juz to get enough money to pay for the farking fees ??? now they are wasting farking 95 mill juz to play chong kak, 5 stones and make teh tarik ???
IS THE TEH TARIK WORHT 95 MILL ? THEY FREAKING BETTER MAKE TONS OF THEM !!! … msia has always been a laughing stock to country … now they trying to prove their point izzit ???
i think we msia pay too much tax until they got no where to spend on … till they have to send two ppl to space juz to make an arse out of themselves … somemore The Star said that the traning program is free ??? why not juz say the whole thing is free … then we wont be such a dumbass also … fark this s**t man …
typo at previous post … “Other coutry” …
ooo yea … 1st to make teh tarik in space … HOW COOL IS THAT ??? WUUUUU
a few suggestions to the gov which you can do in space
1. make kueh lapis
2. make roti cannai
3. make kopi o
4. make rendang
5. make nasi lemak
6. make pulut
7. make satay
8. make curry
9. make laksa
10. make ice kacang
11. blah blah blah
101 things you can make in space and you will be the first one to do it…. ISN’T THAT COOL ???
TRY PRINTING MONEY IN SPACE ALSO LA !
Wow … totally ghey
I think there is a possibility of him being gay, since i read before that scientists found of that homosexuality does in fact occur in the animal world. Though I’m not certain if it confines to only primates. Probably not though. Lols…
Panda porn works!
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/11/22/thailand.pandas.ap/index.html
LMAO! Panda porn. I assume it’s documentaries of pandas making love.
Oh, and I adore that Endangered Species list. Wahaha, Malaysians.
Panda Porn…hahaha…Crazy. I think the problem Panda have was very low sex desire. And the problem panda keeper have was, they don’t know how to differentiate panda’s sex.
They might have kept 2 same sex panda in same cage. That’s why ‘NO OFFSPING’.
maybe they should try viagra, it may work…
I’ve seen those articles about panda porn ages ago. It atcually worked, maybe you can dig up taht article somewhere. i’m not sure whether it was Thailand’s zoo’s pandas though that they showed the porn too and worked. in fact, i think that female panda alreayd had some mini pandas ages ago.
hahahaha… 😀
sex