7 Days Left.
This time next week I shall leave Perth for good.
Nicole arrived two days ago. We have this much time to spend together before we leave each other, not knowing when we will meet again.
People often ask me, “Kenny, are you sure this is what you wanted to do?”
I gave them a very simple answer, “I have only one father.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
The year was 2003. Arnold became the Governator of California. The planet Mars became visible on our skies. The SARS virus hit most of Asia, causing thousands of deaths. Meanwhile, fashion trendsetters in Hong Kong released… Hello Kitty face masks! On a more serious note, Mahathir stepped down as the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Love him or hate him, everyone have to agree that he had made an amazing impact during his term.

Don’t cry for me, Malaysia…

On 20th March, George W Bush showed the world how powerless the UN is, and led the Coalition of the Killing to drop bombs over Baghdad, starting The Gulf War – Episode II. The entire world was in killing mode. On 13th December, Saddam Hussein was captured from his “Spider Hole”. By then, everyone seemed to have forgotten why the war started in the first place. The Weapons of Mass Destruction were yet to be found, but none of the big wigs seemed to care because they all think they are doing a good job by democracizing Iraq.

Saddam Hussein’s statue toppled in April 2003. Saddam Hussein himself was captured in December 2003. Still no signs of WMD.

2003 was easily the best year I had in Perth. I was 21 years old and I was about to start my fifth and final year at Curtin University.
Dating a KL girl is both good and bad. The good thing was that I started to pay more attention trying to look good. The bad thing was that as a result, I started spending A LOT of money buying plenty of designer clothes unnecessarily. Suddenly, I realised how fun it was to buy my own clothes. I discovered the world of Retail Therapy. Slowly but surely, I turned into a brand bitch, and I didn’t even realise it myself! Spending every cent of my bank account balance instead of putting money towards savings is a very bad habit and its not something I’m proud of.
I had saved up a lot of money from all that tutoring the year before. Curtin students (in fact, all uni students) always had the bad habit of doing last minute cramming for their exams. So what happened usually was – when they found out that there’s so much stuff to study, they panic. And when they panic, they call Kenny. And when they call Kenny, Kenny got rich. 🙂 It wasn’t easy though, because in between studying for my own exams, I had to make sure that my students are prepared for their papers as well.

From thrifty, to affordable, to brand bitch.

Regardless, I had saved up about AUD$1,000 by the end of the year. The exchange rate at the start of 2003 was AUD$1 to RM2.60 – and that’s more than enough for me. I stopped by KL with Nicole before I depart for Perth, and we spent so much money we almost bought the KLCC twin towers. Whilst previously I could only afford to buy some “ochipala” RM20 clothes from Sungai Wang plaza, this time round I had no regrets splurging up to RM80 on a pair of Calvin Klein underwear. I told my mom that, and she said “Your kacheng made of gold one is it?”
Anyway, 2003 was the year Nicole transformed for the better. With my encouragement, she was elected as the Deputy Convenor of the International Students Committee. Her circle of friends expanded, she became less dependant on me, and generally Nicole just became a much happier person compared to the way she was the year before. I was definitely happy for her. As my own group of friends slowly left Perth, I started hanging out with her group of friends more and more – which was how I started knowing people like Jacky, Tiffy, Dine & David, Jamie & Angeline, Candice & Steiner, etc.

(Back L-R) David, Tiffy, Wennie, Joey’s Bro, Jamie, Phang.
(Mid L-R) Joey, Dine, Angeline.
(Front L-R) Nic, Kenny

Nicole moved out of my place soon and started staying with Candice in King’s Park. It was a good change for the both of us. She became more disciplined. My mother and Nicole found a common ground and they became friends again. World War 3 ended and I couldn’t be happier.

Kenny and Rey Mysterio Jr during the WWE Smackdown Tour 2003

Life was cruising for me in 2003. It was easily one of the most carefree life I had during my time in Perth. I was in the world of my own with my family and Nicole. My nephew Jayden was born. I watched Craig David in concert. I hung out with my favourite WWE wrestlers when they toured Perth. I even get to travel to eastern Australia, Shanghai and exotic places like Seoul. Instead of tutoring high school students, I started tutoring Business Statistics 101 to rich international students at Uni, and that allowed me to fetch up to $30 an hour.
University work wasn’t too bad, except for my final year Engineering thesis. Being a smart ass that I thought I was, I chose a rather difficult topic for my final year thesis that involved both Physics and Engineering Departments.
I had a supervisor from each department. The Physics supervisor was coincidentally the Head of School of Physics. He was largely dissatisfied with my work and often criticised me for not being scientific enough. The Engineering supervisor on the other hand had absolutely no idea what I was doing in the Physics department, so as long as I appeared confident, anything I said to him that sounded correct, will be correct! But then I figured it out… since this is an Engineering thesis, regardless on how atrocious my Physics supervisor think my work is, only my Engineering supervisor will be marking it bah!

Meausirng the thermal expansion of materials. Fascinating piece of bullcrap.

Honestly speaking, I had absolutely no idea what I was writing in my thesis – I was sure it wasn’t something my Physics supervisor would approve of. 🙂 All I remembered was that I praised my Engineering supervisor like he was the Sultan of Brunei in the Acknowledgement section. I submitted my thesis… and in the end, I received a whooping 87% for a pile of professional bullcrap!
I must be a genius. 😉
As if that’s not enough, things continue to go uphill from there. I had the last Uni exam paper of my entire life on the 6th November. Then I received a phone call – Spectra decided to offer me a job as a Software Engineer, and that I shall start work on the 13th November 2003! Needless to say, I took up the offer, and that’s where I worked until today.
*~*~*~*~*~*
I was young, fit and able. I had my finance, my career, my family and my love life all sorted out. I was on top of the world, and life couldn’t be better.
But its exactly when you started thinking that way, life throws you a curve ball, and your whole world starts crumbling around you.
I was on top of the mountain in 2003.
The following year, my mountain crumbled.

14 days left.

I’ll try not to say Happy Valentine’s Day, because to some, it can be quite insulting. As a matter of fact, nowadays its considered hip to shun the V Day. So I’ll just do it subtly. 😉 Happy Valentine’s Day my baby. You’re far apart but you’re always in my heart. I love you! *muah*

Anyway, here’s another installment of my Reflections on Perth. New readers who have no idea what I’m talking about might want to wander off to the first entry of this memoir.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The year was 2002. George W Bush called Iraq, Iran and North "I’m so ronery" Korea the Axis on Evil (cue Darth Vader’s Theme Song), despite him being nearly choked to death due to an evil pretzel. Brazil won the FIFA World Cup in Japan/Korea. The war in Afghanistan raged on. With the US and Australia doing so much, I feel very "safe". Meanwhile, snipers are randomly killing people in the States. Then on 12th October, car bombs exploded outside popular nightclubs in Bali, killing 202 people, a majority of them Australians.

It has been a year since I got together with Nicole. Over the past year, although we had our ups and downs, everything seems to be pretty ok. I was in Kuching at the end of 2001 during my University break. That’s when Nicole told me that she’s flying to Kuching to visit me. It was a sign that the relationship was ready to be taken to the next level. Previously, our contact was limited to just the internet and the telephone. As anyone who had dated their penpals or had an internet relationship would know, meeting your partner for the first time is a very big thing. Would appearance matter? What if she’s ugly? Scratch that. What if she thinks I’m ugly!? After all, I did put on a whole 15kg since I last sent a photo of myself to her. And besides, I’m the one who choose which photos to send to her. She would think that I look like Legolas when in fact I look more like Samwise Gamgee.

I was overwhelmed to be meeting Nicole for the first time. I was determind to make a good first impression. So I had my collared shirt, my best jeans, best shoes and a bouquet of yellow roses waiting in the car boot ready to surprise her. We finally met face-to-face at 8am, 3rd December 2001 at the airport. I hugged her, she didn’t hug back, and that’s when I realised that I had accidentally stepped on her feet.

So much for a good first impression.

My mother had her suspicions, but she never knew I was dating Nicole for the past one year. In my family, my father’s attitude towards me has always been a relaxing "you can do whatever you like as long as its not too damaging". My mother, on the other hand, is the Worrier Princess. A typical traditional Chinese mother, she would worry about every single minute detail of every single thing in my life. That’s the reason why I think its a bad idea to tell her that I have been dating some KL girl I have never met, over the internet, who happen to be a year older than me and speaks no Mandarin. As far as she’s concerned, people who chat on the internet are all the 不三不四 bù sän bù sì type (literally: "not 3 not 4". meaning dodgy people).

Anyway, my mother has the habit of skillfully sneaking up to me innocently when I am, say, watching some VCDs. First, she would talk about some mundane stuff like the aunty she met at the Sunday market, then all of the sudden she would steer the topic towards girls. "Kenny ah! You have to choose the correct girl ah! It will affect your life ah! Bla bla bla bla bla…" So I figured, ok lah! No use hiding about me having a girlfriend anyway. Besides, unlike my first girlfriend, I’m serious about Nicole.

So one evening, I decided to bring Nicole to my place. I approached the front door with her, and my mother opened the door for me. She saw this unfamiliar girl, and I said to her "Mi, this is my girlfriend Nicole." Her jaws dropped, followed by her signature ‘pai-seh smile’. Nicole muttered softly "hi aunty". And then it happened. Right there on the front door, the interrogation started. "Where are you from?" "How old are you?" "What are you studying?" "Which school?" "You cannot speak Mandarin ah?" "What dialect do you speak?" "Bla bla bla…". My poor girlfriend was interrogated for a full fifteen minutes on the front door of my house before she’s even allowed to take off her shoes and come in.

Other than that, everything else went well. My father greeted her with a smile. Before I left for Perth, I stopped over in KL where I met her family. After that, its another five months of long-distance separation maintained by phone calls every evening.

These international phone calls don’t come cheap, which is why I had to work again to finance this habit. With ISC out of the way, I finally have a lot of free time to hit the gym and so on. So I started tutoring high school students again. Only this time, I decided to do it big. Canning College is a high school located near my place that’s catered towards international students and local mature-aged students, but obviously I don’t care about that. To me, all I see was $$$. 😉 I received a phone call from two girls by the name of Elvina and Charlotte, who coincidentally are both from Kuching as well. And just that, and through word of mouth, I began taking in more and more students. Some come and go, but I took in around 15 students a week at my peak, which translates to a week’s earning of about AUD$200 to AUD$300. That’s pretty handsome for something I did part time.

One of the best things about tutoring students from Canning College is that you get to interact with students from all over the globe on a more personal level. There are a few memorable ones. Apart from a few local Australians, I have tutored Malaysians from small towns like Sibu to big cities like KL, a couple of Singaporeans including one who drives a Boxster 911, a young English soccer player who insisted on going topless and showing off his six-pack during class, a girl from Beijing who always put on heavy make up, an American living in Australia, one very rich Indonesian and his Vietnamese girlfriend, an even richer Italian with his million dollar house by the Cottesloe Beach, and on the opposite side of the spectrum, a Muslim student from Somalia who is very smart yet financially poor.

I met up with Nicole again in June. My sister and brother-in-law were getting married and we had a unique two-day wedding reception spanning from Kuching in Sarawak to Bentong in Pahang. Now, Bentong is a very small kampung (village) where everyone knows everyone. The wedding reception was definitely unique to say the least. It was held in a school hall. Apart from the usual yamsengs and all that, the programs for rest of the night was actually filled with karaoke. Mind you, its not just any karaoke. Its karaokes for the UNCLES AND AUNTIES! Seriously, there were aunties the age of my mother who got on the stage and sing! I had to put on my sincerest smile and clap hands when in fact, I feel more like throwing out a one-liner from Simon Cowell. If that’s not enough, someone actually brought a television to the hall and watched Brazil Vs Germany for the World Cup final! Near the end of the night, everyone had forgotten about the bride and groom!

By then, Nicole had already made her decision to study in Perth. Obviously, I was ecstatic. One thing for sure is that I no longer had to spend my money on international calls. And finally, I can at least start having a real relationship instead of all these long distance crap.

The first thing we did was to sort out her accomodation. We owned our house in Perth. My father usually stayed in Kuching whilst my mother would commute back and forth, usually spending more time in Perth together with my brother and me. I asked permission to have Nicole move in with us.

Bad move.

My mother, being the traditional Chinese mother that she is, had very clear terms about letting Nicole live with us. She is willing to let Nicole stay for free, provided that she helped out with more than her share of the housework and cooking. Nicole was obviously willing to help out. But at the end of the day, she was still a student who have assignments to complete and exams to cram. It didn’t help the fact that she’s new to this country and had virtually no other friends at all.

A typical day for me at the time looks something like this: Wake up, go to uni, go tutoring, go home, hear mom complain about Nic, hear Nic complain about housework, sleep. World War 3 I tell you, with Kenny stuck in the middle of a crossfire of tears, tantrums and torture.

Note to self: Never ever let your girlfriend live with your mother. No matter how nice they are to you, they are never going to be nice to each other.