Whilst we are still on the subject of tattoo, let us observe another example of ‘Engrish’ in Kuching. 🙂
I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I want to get any English words tattooed by this guy. Lest he spelt it kennyASIA.com, then I’m screwed.
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Malaysian newspapers are so bad its funny.
I’m not gonna start bitching about having to endure front-page headlines EVERYDAY about some politician like Pak Lah or Taib Mahmud making a speech about what ‘we as citizens’ should or should not do, because frankly – just because you say it at some oh-so-important function with a photograph of you hitting some gong, doesn’t mean we’re gonna do exactly what you said we should.
But that’s for another time.
So, I was reading last Friday’s edition of The Borneo Post (18 March 2005), when I noticed this headline on Page 4.
Oh wow. RM600 stolen… La-FRICKIN’-Dee-Da! I had my Playstation 2 AND my XBox stolen only just one day after I bought them. Where’s my Page 4 headline, dimwits?
Anyway, just to sum up the story for you – basically this guy Ngiam (what an unfortunate name already) had his 4WD broken into by two burglars. Ngiam spotted them red-handed, but the suspects managed to jump into another car and drove away.
Well, I’ll let Borneo Post continue with the rest of the story.
…
Let me try to digest this for a while.
‘999’ is not in use anymore!? Man, I’ve only been away for a while and they changed the bloody emergency number?
What the fork!?
The Thing About Tattoos
Lately, I noticed an unmistakable trend in the number of people getting tattoos and other body mods in Malaysia.
Sarawak’s very own rock princess Shal Sagan is a fan of tattoos and other body mods
What was previously the symbol of ‘pai kias’ (bad boys) and a traditional rite by members of the Iban tribe, is now a fashion statement among young teens and twenty-somethings. One only need to venture to the nearest nightspot to spot the tattooed forearms, upperback, shoulders, hips and ankles among the revellers there. Tattoos are no longer sported by gangsters (or wannabe-kiasu-gangsters), but by a wide range of people from your local girl-next-door, to your high school teacher, to that high-paying executive of some multinational corporation. Its almost as if every male, female and their dogs are getting tattoos.
Meet ‘Pie’, Dine & David’s precious dog. No actual dogs are harmed in the process of photoshopping a tattoo.
Speaking of Iban tribal tattoos, do you know that the Iban girls here have symbols tattooed on them indicating their skills or expertise at something (eg cooking)? I thought its kinda interesting. I know tattoo is an important part of the Bornean Iban culture. What I didn’t know that they do it to sort the girls like library books! Would any of my Iban friends like to verify this? Chrissie? Felicia? Heh. I’ve never seen Chrissie’s tattoo myself but I’m sure it has something to do with ‘buying shoes’.
Kenny thinks this might be possibly be the tattoo of Chrissie V.
Not all of them do it for fashion reasons. Some call it art, some do it to record an important period in their life, most just do it without reason and just for the heck of it. Its a case where because all my friends are doing it, so I might as well do it too.
Tattoos are so popular now that people who have tattoos long before they became widespread started to call these new tattoo-enthusiast ‘wannabes’. I haven’t heard much from people who regretted having a tattoo. If there are people like that then they probably aren’t too vocal about it. Most people do get addicted after having their first tattoo, and went on to have the second and third and so on.
I think he might have gotten a little bit carried away.
I can understand why people would want to decorate their bodies. What I can never understand is why people would want to decorate it something so permanent. Who knows what you want later in life, or whether or not it would impede your career if and when you move into the corporate world where it is traditionally conservative. A wedding planner, for example, would look out of place if she sports a tattoo on her shoulder when she wears a gown to her clients’ wedding, unless of course her clients are members of the local triad gang.
Anyway, this whole fashion-trend-sprouting-from-the-rebel-image thing reminded me of something similar about 10 years ago, when colouring your hair was still considered a rebellious act that only the “bad students” at my junior high would do. The “excuse” given by the teachers was because the lead content in the hair-dyes was high, the school is doing their part by protecting us from possibly poisoning our head. Of course, that didn’t stop them from dying their white hair to black because according to them, they’re dying their hair black so that’s different.
Bah! You know how hypocritical teachers are.
Despite the “warnings” some ten years ago, there seems to be more and more people with red/brown/golden hair than genetic Asian black hair. It was no longer considered an act of rebellion, rather a perfectly socially acceptable form of fashion. To girls, colouring your hair is as normal as putting on a hair band. To boys, colouring your hair makes you look like a member of F4.
What Kuching boys look like when they try to look like F4.
Walking through the streets of Kuching, I can’t help but noticing more blonde heads than black heads. There’s so many Malaysians with blonde hair right now, sometimes I think I’m still in Australia.
Anyway, back to tattoos.
The reason I wrote about this is because a few months back, my girlfriend Nicole said to me that she wanted to get a tattoo. Usually I can just ignore it and she won’t mention it ever again, but I know she’s serious after she asked Joey (a dragon) for information. She even took the effort to go to the tattoo parlour with Tiffy (a flower) to look at some designs.
And I don’t like it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against people who choose to get tattoos. There’s a lot of things that I don’t mind other people doing, but I won’t do it myself. Tattoo is one of them, as is smoking cigarettes, taking drugs, cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend, joining al Qaeda, etc. These are things I won’t approve and things I won’t do myself, BUT if you choose to do it – that’s fine by me – and you won’t lose my friendship over it. Just remember to say hi to Osama bin Laden for me. 🙂
I’m actually quite liberal about tattoos because a good number of my closest mates have tattoos. But this situation is kinda different, because this is my other half, she’s a part of me… and she wants to get some ink on her that can last her the whole LIFE?! What am I gonna do about it?
“Its her body wat. She has control over it.” said one of my close friends in Perth, who happen to have a rose tattooed on her hip.
I tried to retort, “But – what if she got her tattoo and I don’t like it? That means I have to put up with it. For my entire life!”
“The point is that its her body, and she can do whatever she likes.”
True. Good point. But if that theory holds, that means because I own my body so I can do whatever I like with it. I can fly to Thailand, work as a gigolo, Nicole can do absolutely nothing about it because I’m selling my body… MY body! True?
“Besides, if you really love her you have to accept her for who she is.”
That’s besides the point… !
The point is, a tattoo is permanent. The “it can be lasered off” argument wouldn’t work, because laser-removal costs USD$3,000 at the moment and from what I know, hurts 10 times as much as getting the tattoo on in the first place. A tattoo is permanent, and if I were to know that she already has a tattoo in the first place before we got together then maybe its ok, but to introduce a tattoo halfway through a relationship sounds to me like a uh… violation of contract? 😉 I don’t know.
My girlfriend wants a tattoo, and I don’t want her to get one. I’m stuck in a dilemma between giving her the freedom to be herself, and me having to put up with something permanent I potentially dislike. Look, I just hope I’m not crossing the line and becoming a possessive bastard of a boyfriend, that’s all.
Am I the only one in this situation? Are there couples out there who have the same dilemma as I do? Does your partner want to get a tattoo but you oppose to it? Or do you want to get inked but your partner threaten to cut your balls if you do it?
FireFox and Malaysia-relevant Search Plugins
Weekends are usually the time when the traffic to kennysia.com drops. I have no idea why but I think its because people are not at work, and hence no opportunity to slack off in front of their computer reading some mundane blog by some 22 year old Malaysian-Chinese in Kuching. That’s the reason why I usually take a day off blogging during weekends or write about crap no one wants to read, like my balls.
Today’s entry will be one of these.
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Have you ever heard of Mozilla FireFox? If not, then my friend, you and I need to sit down and talk. Just pretend I’m a Jehovah’s Witness knocking on your door preaching the Holy Bible. Or an Amway salesman, whichever your prefer.
See, all my life I’m surrounded by geeks and nerds. It doesn’t help that I’m one of them.
These are the people who swears by Linux and Macintosh. These are the same people who believe Bill Gates is Satan, and Microsoft should be renamed “Might-work-Soft” as my ex-workmate David so affectionately calls it. And because of that, these geeks informed you that you must format Windows XP from your computer and start using Linux. I said to them “siao ah!”
A long long time ago, I never believed in the open-source movement. Free things are hardly ever good, which is why I always use Microsoft. I even paid for my copy of Windows XP. Yes, all RM 5 for it at my local CD shop. Oh wait, did I say RM 5? *cough* I meant RM 500. 🙂
See, I’ve been using Internet Explorer for my web browsing needs for as long as I can remember. That’s until the geeks at Spectra told me that if I start using Mozilla FireFox, my balls would increase 2cm in diameter. So I downloaded FireFox, started using it at work and eventually I used it at home as well. Sadly, my balls are still the same size as before.
I didn’t notice what’s the big deal about FireFox initially, until I used it for several days. It downloads fast, installs fast and imports all your IE bookmarks seamlessly. I loved it so much that now, I laugh at people who still uses Internet Explorer because they’re probably still using tree leaves to wipe their asses. (Read “Flame Extinguisher” below)
What’s so good about FireFox? Well, that’s for you to discover. But I’ll point these out.
More security, less pop ups
Ever visited 100% HOT ASIAN SLUTZ only to get your browser hijacked to the point where everytime your dad opens the web browser expecting to read the news, he finds a picture of a naked lady instead? Internet Explorer is notoriously easy to hijack and attacked by malicious software, FireFox is not.
Live Bookmarks is good for blog readers
I checked for updates of about 20 blogs I read everyday, but I can’t be bothered clicking on each one of them to see if they have updated. The solution? Live Bookmarks. If a blog supports Live Bookmark, it will show a orange square on the lower right corner of the browser.
Click it to add it. Next time the blogger updates, you will see it as a new topic in the Live Bookmark. It’ll save you the effort, not to mention the bandwidth costs of the blogger. I’m sure the blogger will appreciate it. Add kennysia.com to your Live Bookmark and I’ll tell everyone how big your balls are.
Easy Built-In Search Engine
On the top right corner of the browser is a built-in search box for many websites and search engines like Google or Yahoo. Choose your engine, enter what you want to search, and voila – you’re there. Its so intuitive its a wonder why the genius Bill Gates didn’t think about it in the first place.
FireFox came pre-installed with search plugins only the Americans will appreciate. Do yourself a favour, go to C:\Program Files\Mozilla Firefox\searchplugins\ and delete the ones you don’t need. You can install new search plugins more relevant to you by visiting Mycroft. It installs as easy as two clicks.
If you know a bit of HTML, these plugins are incredibly easy to write. MyCroft doesn’t have too many Malaysian-relevant search plugins, which is why I created the following. If you are reading this using FireFox, just click to install.
- Google Malaysia (English Version)
- eBay Malaysia
- MyCen Malaysia Central
- YellowPages Sarawak (for businesses in Sarawak only, if you need others just let me know)
I especially love the Yellowpages Sarawak search plugin. I use it at work all the time.
To conclude, ditch that shitty Internet Explorer, follow the trend and start using FireFox. What have you got to lose?
Any questions/requests/bug-fixes, let me know and I’ll do my best.
Flame extinguisher: Sorry I offended the 75.2% of kennysia.com readers who uses Internet Explorer. But as always, everything on this site is light-hearted fun, so have a sense of humour when I take a casual jab at you lah. I’m actually a nice humble guy in real life. Err… Yes, I am. So apologies to all the IE users out there, don’t be offended. And dammit stop using tree leaves and buy some proper toilet papers!
David Tao Showcase – Live in Kuching 2005
Last evening I had the opportunity to attend the David Tao Concert… sorry… Showcase that’s held in the MBKS Indoor Stadium in Pending. The major sponsor of this event was Maxis Hotlink. The deal was: if you purchase a Hotlink startup SIM pack for RM30, you’ll get 6 tickets to the Showcase, as well as 20% off the latest David Tao CD. The reason why its called ‘Showcase’ and not ‘Concert’ is an important one, as I found out why when the evening progressed.
The David Tao ‘Showcase’ ticket that I bought from an opportunistic passerby.
I can’t be bothered paying RM30 for six tickets as I have no plans of bringing 5 of my non-existent Kuching friends to come with me. All I want is one ticket for myself, so I showed up at the stadium hoping to do just that. I had no luck, as the Hotlink salesperson insisted that that I sign up for their prepaid card and get six tickets. Finally, someone with spare tickets offered to sell me one of his for RM10, so I obliged.
HELLOOOO… aren’t you supposed to be, like, saving the world?
The first thing that caught my eye as soon as I arrived in the stadium is the presence of military personnel. I’m not talking about the 5 or 6 of them that’s directing the traffic outside the stadium. I’m talking about a total of about 50 of them inside and outside the stadium! For a moment, I thought I was attending a concert by Mahathir.
Count how many military personnel is in this picture. No prizes for correct guesses.
The second thing that caught my eye was the crowd in attendance. There was nothing, NOTHING that can prepare me for the horror that I had to witness. This event shouldn’t even be called a David Tao Showcase. It should be called the AhBeng-AhLian Fashion Showcase.
Behold, the latest in Kuching fashion…
The pink panthers!
The skinny-ass gangster-wannabe! (aka la-la zhai)
The Ayumi Hamasaki-wannabe! (aka la-la loui)
And my personal favourite…
The embroidered quarter-pants!
Faces have been pixelated or cropped to protect the ‘innocent’ (or was that the ‘guilty’) party.
The concert/showcase was supposed to start at 8pm. I went in there around 7:30pm hoping to get a good spot since its free-seating/standing, but alas, the stadium was already half-full. Nonetheless, with my handsome good looks, I managed to charm my way to the front, about 4 rows from the barricade.
Some teenage girls told me that they’ve been waiting since 6:30pm. If these kids go to school with the same enthusiasm they have coming to this event, their parents would be proud. The place was so packed and the air was so humid. As I waited among the crowd I was already sweating profusely. I thought I’d never complain about being surrounded by teenage girls, but mannnn… that night I was just hoping that those girls would leave me alone!
Fans with the hands
Looking at the above picture, you must be thinking that the fans were going wild because David Tao just came on stage. Well, you are wrong. The big-ass cardboard “hands” provided by Maxis were used to fan the fans (err..?) themselves.
That DJ who can’t cheer Kuching people up.
The time was about 8:15pm but there were still no signs of the popular Taiwanese singer. Instead, we were treated to some monologue by a DJ from 98.8FM (which I never listen to), who tried to get the crowd going wild, with no success. Kuching people are made of wood I tell you.
Then came the stupidest, most time-wasting, most horrible part of the evening. The DJ tried to get people from the crowd to come on stage to play a game. After a good 20 minutes trying to get people with names like “Catherine”, or “David” up on stage, she ended up with five guys. The game? Each of them must sing a 2-minute snippet of a song from David Tao’s latest album, and the crowd will be the judge of their performance.
Yes, they are reading lyrics off the album cover. Yes, its a coincidence 3 of them wore sleeveless. Yes, their singing was absolutely horrible. Simon Cowell would be proud.
For obliterating our eardrums and causing us mental instability, the DJ rewarded the five of them with prizes from Maxis Hotlink. I managed to catch up with one of the contestants after the show (Vincent, the guy on the extreme right), and he showed me what he received. A cardboard hand, a poster, a Maxis writing pad, a Maxis brochure, another Maxis brochure, all in a crappy Maxis paper bag. Not a mobile phone, not a sim card, not even a bloody CD. Those tight-ass selfish wankers.
David Tao appeared on stage after much wait.
After another bout of trying to get us cheer David Tao’s name, the famed artist himself appeared on stage. He wore a pink Abercombie & Fitch T-shirt, slim fit tattered jeans, and a white belt so feminine I reckon Nicole would look good in it. I’m sorry girls, I like his music as well, but I just don’t see the physical appeal of this Taiwanese singer. You call him metrosexual, I call him a guy who had forgotten to pack his testicles from Taiwan.
David Tao singing ‘Ai Wo Hai Shi Ta’
David Tao’s first song on stage was ‘Ai Wo Hai Shi Ta?’ (literally “Do you love me or him?”). Let’s just say I was expecting a live band or something. The last two concerts I’d been to in Perth (Craig David and Vanessa Amorosi) both performed with live bands, and this one just disappoints. The vocal was good, but the background music was flat. It was just a glorified Karaoke show.
David Tao singing ‘Susan said’
David Tao’s second song on stage was ‘Susan Said’, which is one of my favourite songs on the new album. If you’ve heard the song before, you’d recognise that there’s a falsetto portion of the song followed by a rap which was really well done. (A ‘falsetto’ is when a guy deliberately make his pitch higher than usual in singing). The song itself was good, but when it came to David Tao doing the falsetto, I could see him struggling when he smiled nervously. I heard two voices, which led me to believe that the falsetto portion of the song was recorded into the Karaoke track. I was disappointed. He did the rap pretty good though.
David Tao’s third song… wait, that’s it. That’s the end of the singing. Two songs. Yes, my friends, and that’s the difference between a ‘Showcase’ and a ‘Concert’. After all that waiting, standing, squeezing with hundreds of sweaty teenage girls, and putting up with horrible singing from the five guys… what did I get? Two sucky Karaoke-fied songs. You know a concert is crap when the pre-show games lasted longer than the actual singing itself.
How I wasted a rare close-up photo of David Tao with my shaky hands.
The rest of the evening was allocated for the autograph session. The DJ emphasised that only the outer cardboard cover of the latest CD or cassette will be signed. Nothing else. Clearly that’s to promote his CD sales. But even if I have bought the CD and asked to have him sign the poster, the security… sorry, I meant military personnel wouldn’t let me. I have no idea why, but I’m not stupid enough to argue with our army men. No cameras were allowed on stage as well, but I managed to snap a blurry picture of David Tao close-up before 5 soldiers tackled and escorted me away.
My autographed David Tao album is now for sale. RM50.
I did manage to get David Tao’s autograph on the CD. I bought it for RM35 on the day of the event. Then I thought… why the hell am I putting myself through all the crap just to get this stupid CD? This is a concert… I mean, showcase that wasted a good 2.5 hours of my life with 2 bloody songs! Its an event I’d rather forget. Which is why I am now putting this CD for sale, RM50, registered postage included to all parts of Malaysia/Singapore. 🙂
Anyway, I actually lined up again after the crowd subsided. I was hoping that if I’m the last few person, David Tao might actually be so kind as to pose for a photo with me. No such luck. I asked him politely “Wo Ke Yi Gen Ni Pai Yi Zhang Zao Ma?” (Can I have a photo with you please?). He said “Dui Bu Chi, Wo Bu Neng” (Sorry, I can’t). And before I knew it, I was tackled and escorted off stage again.
With nothing left to see or do, I went home. Meanwhile, I can sleep soundly, safe from the knowledge that in the event that my home country of Malaysia was invaded, the first thing our troops do would be to stage a live concert.
May God bless them.
Osim iSqueez Foot Massager Review
Osim is a company founded in Singapore that specialises in “health” products. By “health” products, I meant products like massage chairs and ‘weight loss belts’. Initially I thought that the company is Japanese because “OSIM” is “MISO” spelt backwards. Miso being my favourite Japanese soup. Anyway, the success of the company is incredible, transforming from an obscure company a few years ago, to a multi-million dollar corporation that expanded rapidly in Singapore, to Malaysia and in fact, the world.
Those Singaporeans sure are damn serious about their health.
Osim iSqueez – Squeeze your legs (and maybe other body parts) for better health.
Osim iSqueez is yet another item in the list of many products that popularizes the use of small letter ‘i’ in the name, after Apple’s iPod, Helwett-Packard’s iPaq and George W Bush’s iRaq. The iSqueez (yes, that’s the correct spelling – no ‘e’ at the end) is a foot massage gizmo that, according to them, is “specially created to relief the negative effects of everyday stress on your feet and restore your overall sense of well-being”.
Whatever.
At RM1,388 the Osim iSqueez does not come cheap.
Someone bought one of these baby as a gift to my father, which costs RM1,388 from the Osim outlet in Tun Jugah Shopping Mall. Unfortunately my father prefers a real foot reflexologist than some thousand dollar gadget. There are other types of foot massagers available, but I reckon most of them should be marketed under “Foot Tickler” label instead.
Osim iSqueez’s package looks very inviting.
The back of the box brags about the foot massager even further. “The revitalizing massage relaxes and restores, giving you that extra bounce in your steps, just like walking on clouds!” Heh. Man! Walking on clouds? The last time I heard someone THAT boastful is when I told people I wear XL size condoms.
Well, I like the overall design of the packaging. Props to the designer to come up with such a nice colour scheme. Oh, did I mention that it has a similar colour scheme to kennysia.com? Heh, it is a good colour scheme I tell you, white and light blue.
Anyway, the box itself already look pretty very inviting to the wallet. Of course, a few pictures of some nice smooth pair of legs wouldn’t hurt either. 🙂
Different ways of using the Osim iSqueez.
There’s many different ways of using the foot massager. I would think that the most common way to use it is with you sitting down on a chair or sofa. Considering how heavy it is, I don’t think its something you would want to use lying down. After all if you happen to doze while using it, you might very well kick that lug of a thing down to the floor and break it.
And here’s the actual photo of the Osim iSqueez. You are forgiven if you mistaken it for a toaster.
There are handles on two sides of the unit. Too bad there’s not much use of them considering the iSqueez is about as heavy as a PC, and you won’t be carrying it around much. Unless you wanna show it off to people, Singaporean style.
The product is sturdy and well constructed. There’s two slots where you insert your feet and that’s where the action begins. These slots are covered with removable pieces of cloth, which you can (and should) wash regularly.
All the buttons you need are located at the top part of the unit, one each for power, vibration and kneading (squeezing). You can set the strength of vibration to high or low (auto will alternate between the two), and the strength of kneading action (1 for strongest).
So let’s see how the Osim iSqueez fare in action.
With the power off, I put my feet down into the slots (Pardon the hairy legs). The base and sides of the slots are uneven, but comfortable. The best way to describe the sensation is if you imagine yourself barefoot standing on a riverbank full of rounded rocks and pebbles.
Then, I set to vibration level to high. 🙂
…
Sorry, that was a bit of an exaggeration. How did it go? I felt like I’m wearing a vibrating condom of each of my feet. Nothing to shout about. I get exactly the same effect by rapidly shaking my legs whilst sitting down.
So I enabled the kneading action and set it to the second most powerful setting available.
.
..
…
Excuse me while I return from heaven.
I doubted it initially, but I have to say… OH MY GOD, IT FELT SO FOOKING GOOD IT WAS ORGASMIC!!!
No, I did not wet my chair.
The first thing that happened as soon as I activated the kneading option, was the walls of the slots pressing in towards my lower legs. It felt very tight. At this point I felt as if I was wearing Nicole’s boots, comfy but darn tight.
Then the action began. Balls of silicone rolled onto my feet, my ankles and my calves. All of them focussing on the right pressure points. Within seconds, I was already lying back on the chair with my eyes closed, snoozing. Without looking, it really felt like two giant hands squeezing my feet, ankles and calves simultaneously. At this point, I started to wonder if I’m still straight, gay or machine-lover. It felt so painful, so sore, yet so pleasurable. (What the foot am I talking about here?)
There’s only one issue when something so magical works on you – you keep screaming “more! More! MORE!”. Although the iSqueez was touching me at all the right spots on my lower-legs, I was hoping it could do something about my toes and the base and roof of my feet. Those are the areas that need massages as well, and they seem left out from all the action.
After 5 minutes of massaging on the same spot, I started to feel rather sore and uncomfortable. I turned the power off, tried to get up and walk, but I floated instead because my feet felt so light. Seems like Osim wasn’t lying when they said you would feel like you’re walking on clouds.
Stupid iSqueez. Damn you for being so fucking comfortable!
Anyway, is this thing worth RM1,388? I don’t know. I think its quite expensive for something that’s good for one thing. It feels good initially, yes, but you do get sore after a while so its not particularly relaxing or addictive.
Then again, that’s just my personal opinion. Honestly, its not something I would want to buy for myself because I know its probably just gonna sit there and gather dust after a while. I won’t be surprised if Osim follows Apple’s foodsteps and perhaps come up with Osim iSqueez photo (lets you take pictures of yourself in heaven) or Osim iSqueez mini (portable lightweight version of the iSqueeze). Then again, I wouldn’t hold my breath. 🙂
That said, I so totally love the idea of a foot massager that squeezes your legs. I’m not kidding when I said that it feels really good and it really relaxes you. Shoppers who frequent enormous shopping malls like those in KL and Perth would really appreciate this nifty gadget. If you have some spare RM1,388 lying around, then get it.
Now…. if only Osim can come up with something similar for my manhood……
A Bad Influence To Kids
I had wanted to update last night. I bought myself a wireless router, tried to be a smart ass and set it up with my existing ADSL modem, and ended up with no internet connection at home for the whole night. Heh. Anyone wanna hire me to set up their company’s internet connection?
Update: The reason to all my woes? An outstanding StreamyX bill of RM470. Sometimes, all the technical knowledge in the world is no use when you can’t even remember to pay your bills.
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SPOTTED:
Team America: World Police DVDs in the Children’s DVD section.
At least we know what went wrong when the kids start singing “Malaysia… FUCK YEAH!”
Weapons of Mass Destruction in Kuching
I see birds in the sky,
flying past my eyes.
They stop and rest on a tree,
like a loving family.
Lesson learnt in Kuching #48 :
Never EVER park your car underneath a tree full of birds, especially after they’ve had their dinner.
Two Weeks Since I Left
Its been two weeks since I left Perth.
I have more or less settled down in Kuching, although I do experience reverse culture shock every now and then.
Kuching’s cityscape… somehow can’t be compared to Perth’s cityscape.
I reckon I still need time to fit into my new job. My work here involves overlooking the use and implementation of information technology within the company because I am one of the few people who have experience and knowledge in that area. Things are going rather slow at the moment, but I’m sure thats just the calm before the storm.
The sole reason I returned to Kuching is to be with my father. His health has always been my biggest concern since day one. I find comfort seeing the smile on his face everytime I talk to him about my day at work and the happenings in his company.
Most of the time, my father spent the day resting on the reclining chair in the living room. When he’s awake he takes his food, medication and goes to the toilet. At 9pm everyday, an expert foot reflexologist we hired visits him. We try to speak to him whenever he’s awake. He answers softly instead of with the booming voice we knew. Lately, he’s been exhibiting amnesiac tendencies. He used to have five cigarette lighters, all of which went missing because he forgot to take them out of his shirt pocket or something.
My father’s favourite cigarette lighter.
Whilst I am piling on weight because I can’t find a decent gym + irresistable Kuching food, my father is losing weight steadily. There’s no need for scales to prove that. He needs lotion to be applied on his upperback every evening before he sleeps, and I have been helping him do that. I can see the transformation with my own eyes – trust me, the hardest thing to do is to stop myself from breaking down and cry in front of him.
We have been assured by the German doctor and the cancer survivors who have been on the same treatment plan as he is that what he’s experiencing is a difficult, temporary but normal process. I seriously hope that what they say is true.
The foot reflexologist works on my father’s feet every evening.
I am so utterly financially broke. I remembered when I first went to Perth, I’d see the price tag of something, mentally convert it from AUD to MYR, say how expensive it is, and put it back. These days, I pick up something, mentally convert it from MYR to AUD, rave about how cheap it is, and put it into my shopping trolley. The fact of the matter is that I’m not earning Australian dollars anymore and I can’t spend like I used to. I sold off almost all my possessions in Perth at ridiculously low prices, spent tons of money to courier the remaining stuff over to Kuching and now I’m left with not much, except an almost empty wallet and a credit card debt that I’m still figuring out how to pay.
Tiffy + Jacky = unlimited entertainment watching them argue. Two of my fav people in Perth.
I miss the gang in Perth and I miss our weekly rendezvous for coffee and cake at Moon Cafe. I miss Jacky’s little-boy antics, I miss Tiffany’s funny exaggeration of everything, I miss Dine & David’s good food, I miss the guys at Spectra, I miss my sister and her boy Jayden… I miss them all. I looked at the photos I took of my house in Perth, my neighbourhood, the path where I jogged along every morning. These are all gone, all no longer mine. Looking at the photos is me like falling into that dream once again. I wake up when I put the photos away and find myself in an unfamiliar bedroom that’s not mine.
Waterford – the neighbourhood I used to live in.
I’m missing Nicole like crazy. I’ve been missing her the moment I stepped through the departure gates at the Perth International Airport. Not a day goes by without me thinking about her, worrying if she has been eating for the day, if she found a job or if she has spent all her money on another L.A.M.B. bag.
There’s shouldn’t really be anything for me to worry because she’s well taken care of by our friends over there. Then again, it truly is the first time she’s been completely independant from her family and myself, and I feel powerless because I can’t take care of her. We speak to each other on the phone consistently almost everyday. Somehow it just doesn’t feel the same.
The pond I always past by in my morning jog. The ducks attacked me once because I ran too fast towards them.
The way things are right now, I don’t like it. I am going through a dark period in my life, I am depressed, I know I have to be strong, but who am I to kid?
If only I were to have the remote control to my life, I’d rewind it back to the time before all these had happened.
Kuching City Council gave me a Present
A few days ago, I went to Satok Shopping Center to have my Xbox machine modified. Upon returning to my car, I found out that I received a gift from the Kuching City Council in the form of this…
Yes, barely 2 weeks back in Kuching and I got a parking ticket. Its not that bad though since its only an extra 50 cents. But what gets me is that they have the audacity to charge me an extra 5%. For what? SERVICE TAX! Gee thanks, you’re doing me a great service by giving me a parking ticket!
53 cents isn’t much to pay for an overparking fine. But if you don’t pay it, you’ll cop a larger fine. The question is, where do I pay? I found the parking inspector who issued me with the fine and I was ready to give her 53 cents for her effort. She said she couldn’t accept it, and that I had to pay at the pondok (booth) instead.
Now, since I’m sure many poor souls like me have to go there all the time, you would have thought that the pondok would be in bright striking red colour situated in a prominent location, maybe even decorated some neon lights advertising itself. Well, lets just say after some good 20 minutes of circling the carpark, I found the place behind the shop lots.
Seriously, it looked more like a cubicle where you chuck a shit than a place where you pay a parking fine!
To top it off, there’s absolutely no signage at all to tell me that that’s the place I pay I parking fine! What lah… I thought my girlfriend is the only one who wants me to guess what she wants.
Speaking of parking in Kuching, the city utilizes a coupon system. Each coupon costs 20 cents and enables you to park up to 30 minutes at any marked public parking spot. That’s definitely cheap!
There’s only one problem: everytime you park, you have to poke holes.
Now, it isn’t so bad if the holes are big, loose and allow plenty of space for manouvre… but the holes here in Kuching are so fucking small. With my overwhelming girth size, I have so much trouble trying to poke the correct holes. So every now and then I would have accidentally poked the holes too hard…
… which would cause pain, breakage, and the undesirable expansion of holes. 🙁
TNT Worldwide Express bombed my Printer
Oooh! I’ve got presents from TNT Worldwide Express. Must be the items I’ve couriered to myself from Perth! 🙂
Say hello to my Helwett-Packard 3-in-1 Printer/Scanner/Copier. Its the best thing invented since sliced bread!
Oh… 🙁