Wallpapers By kennysia.com


I am awesome.
I travel a lot, and I take a lot of photos when I travel. Very often, I wet myself witnessing how amazing some of the shots turned out to be. Most of these pics were taken using a simple point-and-shoot camera (my trusty 3-megapixel Kodak) with minimal touch-up done using Photoshop.
These pics had served me faithfully as my desktop wallpapers in the past. I reckon it’s criminal if I don’t share them, so feel free to download them for your own personal use.
The Boathouse
Perth, Australia.

Download as 1280 x 960 wallpaper


Saratok Sunset
Saratok, Malaysia.

Download as 1280 x 960 wallpaper


Singapore Sling
Singapore.

Download as 1280 x 960 wallpaper


East Meets West
Shanghai, China.

Download as 1280 x 960 wallpaper

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I need to rant.
It seriously pisses me off to no end listening to people with a warped sense of aesthetics.
Everytime I put up a photo of a girl who I think looks good or at least above average, 99.9% of the time I’ll get inundated comments saying she’s not JUST “not pretty”, not JUST “an average-looking lass”, but “fucking fucking UGLY”.

Carrie is pretty. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a piece of turd oozing out from the backside of someone who had taken Melilea for 30 days straight.

Has the whole world gone mad? Whatever happened to the different degrees of beauty? Everything now must be either ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’ one meh? Whatever happened to descriptions like ‘reasonably pretty’ or ‘average’ or even ‘mediocre’?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying everybody should agree with me. I’m okay if people think the girl I put up is not pretty. I’m just saying I find it UNBELIEVABLE that people would actually classify girls like Ericka or Emma as “fucking fucking UGLY”.
Shit, if girls like Emma are considered fucking ugly, what do you call Courtney Love?

As far as I’m concerned, there are two possible explanations to this scenario.
One, is what Lena Fonseka said to me was right. Our perception on beauty has become so screwed up by fashion mags and MTV, that anything less than FHM cover girl perfection is considered “fucking fucking UGLY”.
If that’s the case then I mourn for the deterioration of human intelligence. Thanks to you, every girl who has not graced the covers of FHM is now considered “fucking fucking UGLY”.

Two, is that I went to sleep one night and miraculously woke up in Planet Mars. Over here, every thing is polar opposite to the way things are on Earth. Our red is their green, our cloud is their sea, and our pretty is their ugly. If that’s the case, then I apologise for being an ‘alternative’ not willing to accept mainstream opinion.
And to make it up to you, I present to you YOUR most beautiful woman in the world.


Don’t complain. You asked for it.

Continue reading

Mindfucked

mindfuck v.

  1. To mess with someone’s head until they are quite confused.
  2. An obscure type of porn where the penis is inserted into a hole drilled in someone’s skull.
  3. Actually there’s no 3. If you believe in 2, you’ve just been mindfucked.

This is Ericka. She’s this great girl I met last weekend.

Ericka is 26, attached, a research analyst, a Godfather fanatic, a cat lover, a Xiaxue and kennysia.com reader. At least that’s what I know is true about her.
Ericka is also the queen of cock-and-bull stories, like how when I first met her, she told me she’s 36 and her name wasn’t Ericka, but Julie. She also told me she has two kids, aged 10 and 6, both with Down’s syndrome. But she talk cock only, not true one.

Ericka is a feisty little girl with a bubbly personality and a great load of fun to hang out with. How exactly I got to know her has gotta be ranked up there as one of the most bizarre moments in my life.
(This is gonna be quite a long story, so go grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable.)

It all started last Saturday night when I ventured out with David to Kuching’s newest drinking hole at the Travilion for Halloween. I did my stuff, drank myself silly, returned home at 3am and was about to call it a night when I got a phone call from HB, another blogger from Kuching.
HB: Kenny! Were you at MC3 just now?

Kenny: Eh, I was. How did you know?
HB: I was there too. My friends said that they saw you and you even took a picture of us!
Kenny: I did? I didn’t even know you were there. Where are you now?
HB: I’m at Miami!
Kenny: Where’s Miami? (Florida?)
HB: Miami is near Rainforest.
Kenny: Alright, I’ll head down there in a bit.
HB: Wait, wait… my friend wants to talk to you…
*HB passes the phone over to someone*

Unidentified Female Observer: Is this Kenny?
Kenny: Yeah it is.
UFO: Hi, my name is Julie. We were with HB at MC3 just now.
Kenny: Ya I know! I didn’t see you guys when I was there!
UFO: We’re at Miami now. Are you gonna come?
Kenny: Errr… It’s a bit late… but yea I’ll come.
Half an hour later I drove down to Miami (which was actually located opposite Hilton and not in Florida) to find John, Sebastian, HB and “Julie” sipping drinks in a quiet bar.

To be honest, I didn’t think much of “Julie” when I first saw her. I can see that she’s above average-looking. She just didn’t quite catch my attention. Maybe if she were someone I bumped into in the streets, I would turn my head to check her out but I’d easily forget about her 2 seconds later.
Besides, I was there to catch up with HB.
We didn’t talk much that night. Just some trivial stuff. The four of us left after only about 20 minutes and I thought no more about the evening.
Until the day after, when I got mindfucked by Ericka so much, I think my head is getting pregnant.

It was a lazy hungover Sunday afternoon. I was at Bing Coffee together with David and Ah Yang going through the finer details of the Detox Diet, when I got this phonecall from an unidentified 016 number.
Mindfucker: Hello may I speak to Kenny?
Kenny: Yah, that’s me.
Mindfucker: Uhmm… I’m calling to ask if you have a job opening?
Kenny: A job opening? Not that I know of. Who’s this? How did you get my number?
Mindfucker: Oh I got it from a friend. She said to look for you if I want to get a job.
Kenny: No no no… I won’t be the one responsible for filling vacancies. Look, why don’t you pass me a copy of your resume and I’ll see what I can do about it.
Mindfucker: Resume? No need resume lah. I want to be your personal assistant!
Kenny: Huh? But I don’t need a personal assistant!
Mindfucker: But I want!
Kenny: Alright then how would you like to ‘personally assist’ me?
Mindfucker: Do you know who I am?
Kenny: Who?
Mindfucker: I’m Julie.

Kenny: Julie? Julie from last night? Yeah I remember.
“Julie”: Listen, I wanted to apologise. We called you so late last night to ask you out and then when you came we all left just like that.
Kenny: Oh that? Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s no biggie.
“Julie”: You’re not pissed? I know I’d be pissed.
Kenny: Not at all. I’m fine. Really.
“Julie”: Heyyyy… I wanted to ask you something.
Kenny: Shoot.
“Julie”: What do you think of me?
Kenny: You? Err… I don’t know? I’ve only known you for like 15 minutes.
“Julie”: What’s your first impression of me?
Kenny: Well, I can see that you’re nice and friendly and approachable.
“Julie”: That’s all!?!
Kenny: Hey, that’s all I could tell in that 15 minutes of knowing you!
“Julie”: Would I be someone you’d bring out on a date?
Kenny: If I’m single, I’d bring you out on a date.
“Julie”: But you’re single in Kuching what!
“Julie”: !!!
“Julie”: Ok. What do you think of XiaXue?
Kenny: What?!
“Julie”: If you could choose between me or XiaXue, which one would you choose?
(Are you nuts?! You don’t ask people questions like that after knowing them for only 15 minutes.)

Kenny: Ummm… YOU?!
(Tip for guys: For the love of your own coconuts, if you’re ever asked questions like that by a girl, ALWAYS say you’ll choose her even if you had to lie through your teeth. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.)
“Julie”: YOU SURE OR NOT?
Kenny: Yeah… !
“Julie”: What are you doing tonight?
Kenny: Tonight? No special plans leh.
“Julie”: Wanna go out or not?
Kenny: Err… sure.
“Julie”: Ok loh then I’ll give you a call later tonight.
The meetup later that night went quite well with the level of mindfucking kept to the minimum. But Ericka had already messed up my head pretty bad.

For some obscure reason, the telephone conversation we had kept playing up in my mind. I was thinking – she’s attached, she knows I’m attached, we got nothing to offer each other except a friendly platonic relationship. So what was that conversation all about?
Over the next few days, I woke up thinking about Ericka, I shat thinking about Ericka, I went to work thinking about Ericka and I went to bed thinking about Ericka. Not in the I-miss-her kinda way. More like who-the-heck-is-this-girl-and-what-the-hell-does-she-want-from-me kinda way.

Chupachups and Chivas never looked so good.

Maybe she just wanna be friends with the person behind the blog she reads. And in a way she achieved that. Truth to be told, if it weren’t for that phone conversation, I wouldn’t give two hoots about her. But she called, she got my attention and I’m actually glad things happened that way.
After that unusual initial meeting, I gradually got to know Ericka a little better over the course of the Hari Raya long weekend. We cleared things up. The personal assistant thing and the Xiaxue thing were obviously nothing more than talking cock.

John, Sebastian, myself, Ericka, and a ghost.

Surprisingly, she told me none of these were planned. It just so happened that John spotted me at the club that night, asked HB to call me over, who introduced me to Ericka, who just happened to be there. And all the silly things she said on the phone were just spontaneous reaction.
Ericka is just this naughty, playful and feisty personality who has a penchant for being overly friendly to everyone. But overall I still like her. She may say things that mess with people’s head. More often than not she does it without any malicious intent. So we’re close friends now, and it’s all cool.

My point is, the art of mindfucking seems to be permanently ingrained in women’s DNA. All women exudes that kind of charm and beauty most men find difficult to resist. They know it and some knows how to use it effectively as a weapon without coming across as slutty or sexual.
The trick seems to be mindfucking men into believing that they might have a shot at fucking the real thing.
I know girls use it on their boyfriends ALL THE TIME. They mindfucked you into buying her those Louis Vuitton handbags or that Ferragamo shoes, all the while subtly hinting that if you swiped your platinum credit card at the cashier counter you might get lucky tonight.
Too bad. Come bedtime, the only thing you’ll be fucking with is your left hand.
Girls are evil. And us guys are just suckers for that.

Continue reading

Hari Raya Open House

Hari Raya matters more to me this year compared to previous years. To my Muslim friends, it marks the end of Ramadhan.

Woke up this morning to find myself 3kg less than I was 3 days ago.

To me, it marks the end of my Detox Diet. Woohooooo!

This is Aileen, who generously invited me to her Raya open house.
I knew Aileen from way back. We kinda lost touch for a while, and now she’s an English teacher working in Johor. She told me once that one of her Form 3 students reads kennysia.com. Ehhh… my blog is not educational material ok!

I like going to Aileen’s place for open house because she always prepares gastronomical amount of yummy Malay/Indian food.

This is chicken korma, a mild curry made with yoghurt, cream and nuts.

This dish is super-tasty and oh-so-sinfully oily. The lamb curry is easily my favourite dish from the buffet table, and I don’t even like lamb.

Red chicken curry, or rendang, or masak merah, or whatever. I’ll be honest. I couldn’t differentiate between the different types of Malay dishes.

It’s not everyday you get to see kids in songkok dancing to the tunes of Siti on DVD singing live in Albert Hall.

Having been away for so many years, I forgot how beautiful the Malay culture is. Even back home, I live in the Chinese-dominated Kuching South and seldom get the chance to know many Malay friends. It’s fulfulling in a way watching friends and families coming together celebrating Raya.
These are Aileen’s friends, Amy and Cecilia.

I always thought Malay clothes look like pyjamas, but everyone at Aileen’s place look so fabulous in lustrous traditional Malay clothing. I actually felt out-of-place with my shirt and jeans.

This is Aileen’s cousin Amy. She’s the only finalist from Sarawak in the 3rd season Akademi Fantasia (Malay language version of an Idol-format singing competition). Gotta love her purple-coloured baju kurung.
I went home after spending a good 2 hours at Aileen’s place. I was full after two rounds at the buffet table, each time filling my plate to the brim with nasi briyani topped with delicious curry. You can’t blame me for being such a glutton though. I hadn’t touch meat for 3 days!


Crap.

Continue reading

Detox Diet

I’m on a Detox Diet right now. My mate David has successfully convinced me to go on the detoxification program with him… right after he intoxicated me with copious amount of ALCOHOL last Saturday night.

I felt duped. It is my third and final day on detox and I feel like dyingggg.
There are many variations of the Detox Diet out there, but mine is probably most hardcore. The rules of the game are simple:

– Fruit and Vegetables for 3 days. Preferably organic ones.
– Drink Melilea regularly.
– Strictly no milk, no meat, no eggs, no sugar, no exceptions.
– Processed food are banned. Don’t even think about touching canned food, noodles, or even rice.
– Absolutely, postively, no caffeine (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

Coffee – the most beautiful thing in the world (next to my mom).

The objective is to allow the organs to take a break from eating all the processed food of the modern day and go back to eating basics. By doing so, you flush out all the toxins from your body.
So I went out last Sunday and did my own grocery-shopping for the first time in 9 months. I never bothered to do my own groceries in Kuching. Why bother going through all the trouble cooking and cleaning at home when a meal outside costs merely RM5 right?

Anyway, I bought some suspiciously organic fruit and vege. Grocery-shopping on my own wasn’t that bad. The hardest part was probably pulling myself away from the Chocolates section.

I got myself a bottle of Melilea as well. For those who don’t know what Melilea is, it’s some disgusting mix of fruits and vege blended into powder form.
Believe me, it tastes as horrible as it sounds. The first time I took it, I thought I was shitting in my mouth. That’s how bad it is.
It tastes like grass-flavoured oatmeal!

This is what I had for lunch these past 2 days.
I couldn’t say I felt any better during the program. If anything, I actually felt light-headed and fatigue around afternoon time. The absence of meat in my diet is probably the culprit. I don’t like vege. Vege tastes like crap, but I still had eat it. Surprisingly though, I don’t get hungry often.
But whatever I was doing, I’m pretty sure I was doing it right – I lost 2kg in 2 days.

My detox offically ends tomorrow, just in time for Hari Raya. When tomorrow comes, you’ll see me happily hogging the buffet table at every single Raya open house in Kuching. Who’s gonna invite me?

People who have done Detox before know hardcore Detox dieters are dead serious about their shit… literally. Ask about about their toilet habits and they will tell you the size of their shit, how long it is, what colour it is, how often they go, how smelly it is, etc etc etc.
I was talking to a Melilea distributor this is what he said:
“This very good one! Can clean your stomach one! You eat this you will go to toilet everyday to shit one! I also eat this everyday until my shit become golden and can float on water one! Very good one!”
With a sales pitch like that HOW CAN YOU NOT BUY THEIR PRODUCT?
On a different note, I spotted this at a booth promoting some Melilea-like detox product.

Wow. Looks like health supplement companies have stopped featuring supermodels for their promotional materials and start using shit instead.
Still, you gotta wonder what’s going through the heads of their PR people when they come up with advertising materials like that.
Minion : Eh eh boss… how to sell this detox product har?
PR Manager : Aiya. Just tell them it’s for healthy one lorrrr.
Minion : Cannot boss! So many competitors out there selling the same thing! They use Karen Mok, Fann Wong, Christy Chung! We have to do something different!
PR Manager : Why don’t we tell people that if they eat our product, their shit will come out long long like sausage liddat? Then we take photos of random shit lying around on newspapers. How bout we take a photo of you holding up your own shit like you just became World Longest Shit Champion liddat? Gerengtee people will buy oneeee!
Minion : WAH BOSS! You so smart! GENIUS!

Continue reading

Kuching Toilet Etiquette

Spotted on the walls of a public toilet in Kuching.

The Kuching government recognised that Kuching people cannot shit and piss properly. That is why they’ve put up these posters all over the public toilets teaching us how to pangsai and pangjio like a true Kuchingnite.
Unfortunately there aren’t any captions accompanying those pics. Being a good Kuching citizen that I am, I decided to do my part in promoting good Kuching toilet etiquette.

Stand closer to the urinal

Because you’re supposed to piss INTO the urinal. Seriously, don’t overestimate the length of your penis. It is not as long as you think, alright? Who do you think you are? Kenny Sia?

Do not squat over the toilet bowl

Dude, the toilet seat is built like a chair for a reason. Don’t dirty the seat by squating over it. As a rule of thumb, you’re supposed to SIT ON IT in order to SHIT ON IT.

Greet your toilet bowl

It ain’t easy getting shit and piss thrown at you your entire life, man. Being a toilet bowl is literally a shitty job. So at least show some respect to your toilet bowl. Before you use it, give him a good pat on bacl and say hello to him. Trust me, your toilet bowl will appreciate it.

Conduct your business

Sit on your throne and quietly listen to the sweet melody of shit falling into the water.
*toom*
*toooom*
*tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom*

Forget Cafe del Mar. This is chillout music at its best.

Entertain your toilet bowl

Your toilet bowl must be traumatised looking at hundreds of naked hairy ass each day. Be nice now. Spend some time entertaining your toilet bowl. Play with him, tickle him, do anything you can to make him happy dammit.

Praise your toilet bowl

Before you leave, say a few words of encouragement to your toilet bowl. “Good job!”, “World piss!”, “Bye, I’ll shit you tomorrow!”… whatever. It’ll overcome the loneliness experienced by that poor little fella when no one else visits him.

Wash your hands

Remember to wash your hands, boys and girls. You don’t want no brown stains in your fingernails when you eat at KFC. Gives a whole new meaning to Finger Lickin’ Good.

Toilets have feelings too. Remember that next time you use public toilets in Kuching.
This is a community message brought to you courtesy of kennysia.com. 🙂

Continue reading

inoT Toni

One of the best things about keeping a blog is that you get people from all walks of life commenting on your entries.
Comments are usually good. But every once in a while, somebody leaves a comment on your blog so bizarre, you go “What in the blue hell is this guy thinking?”

Case in point. When I wrote about my visit to Malaysian singer Guang Liang’s showcase in April, I did not expect it to become such a popular entry. Let’s face it, the showcase was boring, the photos I took were boring, and I didn’t even crack any stupid lame jokes in that entry.
Yet, even until today, I still get people who seriously think that I am Guang Liang, foolishly leaving me comments like “i likes u very much, especially ur song Tong Hua.”

Yesterday, something even more bizarre happened. Remember how I went to Toni&Guy in KL and wrote a review about it?
Take a look at what I got in my comment box of that entry.

Dear Sir,
I,Siddhartha Chatterjee age 26 year’s an Indian live in India,unqulified but english is good,doing a small business from last three year’s comeing from a very good family.
Sir,I want to do a hair dressing course from your school because I want to be a hairdresser the reason is, now in India max people go to beautiparlaor’s so its mean hairdresser have a great feture in India,so if I be a hairdresser then I can earn a lot more,so for that I want to do a coaurse for hair dressing from your school.So is it possible without qulification to do this couarse?I am really waiting for your reply soon.
Thanking You
Your’s Faithfully
Siddhartha.

Posted by: siddhartha at October 27, 2005 09:23 PM

WHAT. IN. THE. HELL? First I’m a poofter of a Malaysian singer, and now I’m a BLOODY HAIRDRESSING SALON!? What has the world come to!?
I feel bad for Siddhartha, really. I mean the guy is so professional, polite, nice and all that. I just can’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth, man. Seriously, it would be too cruel for me to simply brush him off, clarifying that I’m not actually Toni&Guy but THAT idiot in the photo getting his hair cut.

So I fired up Microsoft Word and drafted him a reply.

Dear Siddhartha Chatterjee,
I,Kenny Sia age 23 year’s a Chinese live in Kuching. I not Toni&Guy from KL.
Sir, I sorry I cannot teach you hair dressing coaurse from my school because I not hairdresser enaugh to teach you the reason is, I no no qulification.
I is just a normal person with max hair on my body so its mean I have to go to beautiparlaor very often to potong my hair.But never mind cos if you open a salon next time in India, I will ride an elephant to visit you at your beautiparlaor so you cut my hair and you can earn a lot more and have a great feture in India ok.I am really waiting to visit you soon.
Happy Deepavali
I Not Toni,
Kenny Sia.

I’m such an asshole.

Continue reading

Apple iPod Nano Review

Steve Jobs is a marketing genius and a bastard.

I KNOW I don’t need a portable MP3 player. I know I don’t need it because I don’t travel often, I don’t take public transport in Kuching, and I’ve already spent a lot upgrading my car’s stereo.

Apple iPods are pieces of overrated, overpriced audio gadgets. All Apple products are. They bloody cost twice as much as other products in its class and only do half their job. Yet I’m still willing to part with my hard-earned cash to buy it, and I have no idea why. They said when you truly love someone (or something), there’s no need to explain it.

The 4GB iPod nano costs RM1269 in KL, SGD$448 (RM999) in Singapore, RMB2599 (RM1215) in Shanghai and AUD$359 (RM1022) in Australia. I got mine from Perth for AUD$326 (RM929) after GST Refund.
I wanted the white one because I’m pure and innocent like a virgin, but the entire city’s supply went out of stock when I was there. It’s a good thing I got lucky with the salesman at the Perth AppleCentre. (Wait, that sounded kinda wrong…)

The iPod nano is small alright. So small in fact that you can just slide it in your wallet and still leave space for some coins, credit cards and condoms. It’s not as small compared to the iPod Shuffle, but at least it has a colour screen and a click wheel.

A lot of people warned me that the iPod nano scratches easily and that it’s screen might crack under pressure. Having used the iPod for 2 weeks, I can honestly say that that’s not true.
Don’t take my word for it though. These crazy idiots had the guts to put it through their very own ‘stress test’ just to see what it takes to kill an iPod nano.

Things that make grown men cry.

One thing I noticed is that the back of the iPod nano stains really bad. Not sure why, but I hope its not because I’ve been putting Vaseline on my hands too much.

The iPods’ audio quality may be so-so, but their strength lies in the smooth interfacing with their iTunes software. No other software on the market organises your massive database of MP3 files as good as iTunes. You can even set different equaliser presets for each of your files if you want.

The iPod nano comes with extra features similar to what modern mobile phones have.
Personally, I like the photo-viewing feature best. The screen size is too small to do anything useful, but navigating through thousands of photos with the clickwheel is a breeze. Transferring photos is a no brainer – just set the folder you want to sync it with and the iTunes software will take care of the rest. Now you can watch pr0n on the go!

Podcasts – radio of the 21st century. I subscribe to the mrbrown show and Perth’s 92.9

The iPod nano may be expensive but no doubt it is THE trendsetter in portable MP3 industry. All the marketing hype and it lives up to it. Others can try and they can only achieve second best.
It’s like comparing Proton with Porsche. Both perform the same function, but people are still going to spend serious cash to purchase the status, the prestige and the coconuts associated with the latter.

Salivate now, mere mortals. 😉

Continue reading

kennysia.com debuts on Technorati Top 100

After more than 3 weeks of constant travelling (Saratok/KL/Shanghai/Perth), I’m finally back home in Kuching, ready for a life a little more stable and routine.
I still miss Nicole. 🙁

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Since when did Malaysia and Singapore churn out so many holier-art-thou Ephraim Loys?
I do not agree with many of Wendy’s opinion, including her recent diatribe. But I’m the one who sponsored her premium Haloscan comment boxes when she switched to her new template. How ah? Are you all gonna boycott kennysia.com now?

She’s a bad girl. Not by a long shot is she a positive role model for society. Neither are Britney Spears, Jolin Tsai, Paris Hilton or even Angelina Jolie (UN Ambassador/blood swapper/chain smoker/casual sex advocate).
My point is, bad role models exist everywhere. Impressionable young kids should not be left unsupervised reading websites like Xiaxue, SarongPartyGirl, kennysia.com, or any other blogs out there for that matter. The onus is on the parents to inform, educate or shield their kids away from bad stuff from the Internet, not hers.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wouldn’t even realise if I wasn’t told about it, but I woke up this morning and saw my own stupid face staring back at me on blog search engine Technorati’s Top 100. No shit Sherlock, kennysia.com is the 93rd most linked-to blog in the whole wide world!

Depending on how you look at it, this could either be good news for the Malaysian blogosphere (first Malaysian blog to be in the Technorati Top 100), or Travesty of the Century (that blogger is unfortunately, me). I can feel the burden on my shoulders already. If you hear anyone referring to me as the face of the Malaysian blogosphere, I’m sorry I wasn’t born better looking.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go change into a bigger underwear.

These Boots Are Made For Walking

While in Perth, I discovered some pretty funky new tunes playing on Australian airwaves never heard before on Malaysian radio.

The guy on the right looks strangely like a younger version of Peter Tan.

One of them is The Black Eyed Peas’ crude but catchy little tune called “My Humps”. With creative lyrics like “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump. My lovely lady lumps. In the back and in the front”, I doubt it’ll ever make it past the Malaysian censors, unfortunately.
It’s a nice song. But I still don’t understand how anyone would actually go through all the trouble writing a bloody song dedicated to their tits and ass.
Another song I THOUGHT will never make it past the Malaysian censors is Jessica Simpson’s “These Boots Are Made For Walking”, a track off the Dukes of Hazzard’s OST.

I don’t know about you, but the first time I heard that song, I thought Jessica Simpson was singing “These BOOBS Are Made For Walking”
Wah, so power! I know her boobs are fake lah, but I sure as hell didn’t know they’re MADE FOR WALKING!


Sorry Jessica Simpson. Your boots are the last thing on my mind.

Continue reading

Navigation