Dolphins In Kuching

Distinctively Kuching 101 Comments

There are dolphins in Kuching.
It’s true. Not kidding. I neber bluff u ppl one.
Yes, there are indeed dolphins in Kuching. That’s a fact. I didn’t know it and I think most people in Kuching never realised either. Can you believe it? The ironic thing is that it took a Brit to tell me that there are dolphins in my own backyard when I’ve lived here for 16 years of my life. How embarrassing right?

One thing though. If you’re hoping that the dolphins we have in Kuching are ANYTHING like the ones you see on Gold Coast that can jump through hoops, do tricks and win Olympic gold medals in gymnastics; then sorry lah my friend. You’ll be sorely disappointed.
The dolphins we have in Kuching are Irrawaddy Dolphins. Part of the reason why not many people bother about them is because they are possibly the most boring dolphin species EVER.

Look at it. They are nothing like those dolphins you see in Hollywood movies which are all playful, cute and cuddly. Our Kuching dolphins are so damn freaking ugly they are like the Furong Jiejie of dolphins.

When Francis told me about it, I was skeptical.
Yes, Francis, there are dolphins in Kuching. And there are penguins eating kolo mee in Sekama too.
I thought this Francis must be nuts. Maybe he kayak too much, his wife not happy and whacked him in the head with the kayak paddle. Nonetheless I was still interested and curious about these “Kuching dolphins”.

Francis proposed that we go dolphin watching on a kayak and we agreed to meet up during the Tuesday public holiday. Joining us were Peggy from World Conservation Society in New York and the dolphin expert Wayne from BorneoTravel.com.
Together, we are the Oarsome Foursome. Hur hur.

The weather that day was simply perfect. And it turns out we don’t even have to travel far to go dolphin-watching.

Wayne brought us to an abandoned private beach in Santubong – just 40 minutes away from the city and a short distance away from the Damai Beach resort area. Dolphins in Santubong? Now I’m even more skeptical.
By the way, this marks the second time I kayak, and the first time I had to paddle a one-person kayak into an open river.

Someone in the background doesn’t like me. 🙁

After a false start, I managed to get my body into the kayak. Along with two muddy feet.

We were paddling aimlessly for about half an hour or so in the Santubong River and there wasn’t any signs of dolphins around. I was disappointed, though I wasn’t exactly expecting to see any to begin with.
Irrawaddy Dolphins are after all listed as an endangered species, so it’s likely less than 0.1% of the Kuching population has seen one. If you can spot one in Kuching, can buy 4D liaw.

I joked to Francis telling him that if we couldn’t take photos of the dolphins, I’ll just photoshop some up so people would believe us. Then we heard it.
“Over there!” Peggy yelled out to us. We stared at the general direction she was pointing at, and we saw this.

We were so excited we nearly creamed our pants.
The four of us quickly paddled towards the dolphins, probably scaring them off in the process. It wasn’t until much later when we learnt how to approach the dolphins cautiously that they begin to warm up to us. And when they come in groups, boy, do they come in large groups.

At one point in the water, we were quietly sitting on our kayaks and four different groups of dolphins were encircling us. Each group probably around 10 dolphins. There were no propellers, no noise, no sounds of paddles hitting the water.

Just the four of us, silently watching dolphins swimming from all around us, rolling up gracefully onto the surface, sprouting jets of water off their backs before diving back down again. They look so tame, so harmless in the nature.

It was an amazing experience of sight and sound. Words cannot do justice to how magical it was to be so close those rare and elusive dolphins of Sarawak in the wild. And I take pride in knowing that I’m one of the first few to be watching these gentle mammals from a kayak.
To me, it sure beats watching stupid dolphins jumping around in Sea World.

For more information on dolphins in Sarawak, visit Wayne’s blog. Or try your hand at kayaking with Francis Ho.
Kuching is a great place. There’s no other cities in the world I know of that allows you to watch wild dolphins frolicking about in their natural habitat without travelling miles away into the countryside. For now, we still have the privilege of watching these endangered dolphins off the shores of Santubong.

That’s a privilege we should make full use of. At least until they decide to build more resorts around the area and scare all the dolphins away with pollution.

Computer Functions In Real Life

Favourite Entries Thoughts & Musings 113 Comments

I think I’m becoming increasingly over-reliant on my computer these days.

I spend most of my time at work facing a computer. I read the news online, I write letters, socialise, communicate, research, play games, earn money, do my banking, book my flights on Fare.net all using a computer. And with my career firmly in the IT line, I doubt things aren’t gonna change for the better anytime soon.
The sad fact is that I spent so much time on the computer that I don’t know even how to lead a normal life without it anymore. It’s bloody ridiculous.
I depend on my computer so much, sometimes I even wished there were computer features built into real life.
Like that other time when I was attending a business function that required me to make small talks with countless strangers. It’s impossible to remember everyone’s name right. Mistakes can and do happen.

Damn awkward when you’re stuck in a situation like this, isn’t it?
How I wish there’s a feature like Dictionary.com’s spell check function in real life. That way, then at least you can have a chance to correct yourself before you stumble and end up making a bad first impression.

Works out to be so much safer.

Or I could be trying to cook a dish dinner but have absolutely no idea how to proceed. The best I could do was prepare all the ingredients. Times like this I wish a paper clip will pop up from the corner and ask me if I need help.

I’d say ‘yes’ and just like that, dinner is ready to be served.

That would be a cool feature.

Then there were countless frustrating times when I lost my wallet, phone or car keys.

Imagine how nice it would be if next time I misplaced my stuff, and a window box popped up all of the sudden and asked me:

I think that would make life so much easier for absent-minded ppl like me.

But I tell you what is useful though.

Say it’s a Saturday night, you’re feeling a little naughty, a lil raunchy. You walked into a hip club looking for some hot steamy action. The club is packed but none of the sexy ladies were looking at you. You feel like a failure, standing all alone.
How nice would it be if at this point in time, you can do this?

Google’s “I’m Feeling Lucky” function in real life. Now won’t you just luurrrrvvvveeee to have that!? 😉

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Darth Towel Holder

Out of the Ordinary 51 Comments

(Spotted at one of the shops in Hock Lee Centre.)

My name is Anakin Skywalker.
Son of my murdered mother, Shmi Skywalker.
Husband of my wife I executed, Queen Padme Amidala.
Father of Luke and Leia Skywalker.
Faithful servant to the great Sith Lord Darth Sidious, Emperor Palpatine.
Once I was the most feared man in the Galactic Empire.
I ruled the Imperial Army with an iron fist.
I was an evil and ruthless war criminal.
A mass murderer.

Now, I’m nothing more than a towel holder.
🙁

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Para Para Paradise

Life Documentary 132 Comments

I don’t go to arcade games much nowadays.
At least not as much as when I was 15 when arcade gaming centres are like religious temples to me. Nowadays, XBoxes and PS2s are around with better games and much superior graphics. About the only time I’d play in the arcade right now now is when I feel like kicking some sorry asses in Daytona USA.

I spotted this curious-looking machine when I was in Sibu earlier during the week.
It’s a Para Para machine. Para Para, is of course, a type of dance move that rivals only the Melbourne Shuffle in terms of popularity. The only difference is that instead of shuffling your feet madly like you’re holding your pee and wanna go to the toilet, you move your arms madly like you’re scolding that idiot who’s taking too much time inside the toilet.

I remember when I was at Mambo Night in Zouk Singapore a few months back, the nerdy college kids on the platform did it with such style I said to myself “Mannn… one day, I want to be just like them!”
Anyway, I decided to give the machine a shot.

The Para Para machine has an octagonal platform with sensors around it to detect hand movements. You’re supposed to move your hands in sync with the moving arrows on screen. And this is how I went.

My condolences to all the mosquitoes I whacked during the dance.

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On The Road Again

Thailand 70 Comments

This sucks.

Earlier this year, I made some new year’s resolution. I told myself I will put half my salary away every month into savings, provided I don’t travel during that month. The condition is in there because I tend to spend a lot when I travel – the hotels, taxis, food, Starbucks all add up. I thought it was a fair and achievable resolution.

But dammit, I’ve been travelling every single friggin month since the start of the year. I’ve travelled more times in the past 8 months than I ever did in my entire life. And it’s already the FOURTH month of the year. That was fast. Wasn’t New Year’s Eve like yesterday?
Sure feels that way.

I only just returned from KL last week. Right now I’m in Sibu – land of the Foochows, home of the Kampuas. Next Thursday I’ll be in KL again before heading off to Phuket. That’s 4 cities in the span of 3 weeks.
Die. How to save money lah like that?

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Kenny Sia Attempts To Write A Bimbo Blog

Favourite Entries Parody 415 Comments

It’s tough job being a male blogger sometimes.
Some people write for themselves and some people write for an audience. Like most people, I do both and I reckon kennysia.com did a pretty good job so far balancing them.
I do have to admit though that I don’t always find writing for an audience easy at all. Most people tell me that they visit my blog for laughs. I acknowledge that. However ideas, inspiration and wit are not something that come 24/7. They go through a cyclical pattern, much like a woman’s menstrual cycle.

So occassionally during my low point I get people telling me, “Eh Kenny, write something funny lah.” I try to tell them “Eh friend, I’m gonna be very busy the next two weeks hor. Can you like, make my girl have PMS right now so we can get it over and done with?”
That usually shuts them right up.
It’s so much easier being a female blogger.
Guys can only write so much humour, politics and technology before we run out of inspiration. For girls, they can write the same stuff if they wanted to, but they can also write a bimbo blog.
Bimbo blog is a genre of blogging that’ll never go out of style. They’re characterised by the blogger (usually female) posting up half-an-Internet-full-of-bandwidth-sucking photos of themselves going about doing stuff like partying, going for manicures, shopping, partying, attending fashion shows, partying, doing their make-up, partying, meeting celebrities, going on a cruise, partying, partying, partying… zzzzzzz.

Bimbo blogs may not have a lot of substance or thought-provoking content, but you know what? They’re fun. And people read it. And people DIG those shit. I know I do. Just look at the female bloggers I linked to on my sidebar – half of them write darn good bimbo blogs.
I read a lot of bimbo blogs because I’m a hot-blooded male and I never stop being curious about the opposite sex since puberty.
One thing though. Bimbo blogs are strictly the realm of female bloggers. Guys can’t write bimbo blogs. I mean if you’re a guy and you enjoy posting up multiple hi-resolution self-indulgent photos of yourself, mannnnn… you got some serious issues to deal with, mate. Stop touching my body.

That’s precisely the reason why I can’t help but to feel envious of Xiaxue sometimes. I know it’s a bit mean for me to say this, me being her personal friend, I love her and all that. But Xiaxue doesn’t exactly write the most cheem stuff you know, and yet the advertisers LOVE her! They love her to DEATH!
I don’t understand. How on God’s Green Earth is one girl able to, just by writing a pink bimbo blog, attract all those companies giving her free T-shirts, free cruises, free MP3 players, free contact lens solution, free manicure, free hairstyling, etc. At the same time still able to earn MORE advertising revenue in a month than my monthly salary working 9-5.

Heck, I’m getting more hits now than Xiaxue when she first got her Localbrand endorsement. WHERE IS MY ENDORSEMENT DEAL?! WHERE IS MY DAWN YANG TALENT AGENCY CONTRACT!? Hello? Big time major corporate companies!? Does being the No.1 Malaysian blog on Technorati not mean ANYTHING to you???
Ok ok ok, maybe not.
My point is, I’m drowning in a green pool of jealousy at all these perks the bimbo blogs are getting. I think it’s clear.
BIMBO BLOG = MONEY.
So I figured, why not turn kennysia.com into a bimbo blog? I’d love to go on a free cruise. I’d love to get a free MP3 player. If they can do it, why can’t I?
I mean, how DIFFICULT could it be? All I got do is… post up many many photos of myself.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I am in a good mood today so I am going to give you all make up tips.
These are my nails.

These are my nails after I put on fake nails.

I am so pretty.


These are my eyes.

These are my fake eyelashes.

These are my eyes after I put on fake eyelashes.

I am so pretty.

This is Superstar Virgo.

They sponsored my cruise trip. I am so happy. Please support Superstar Virgo.

Here are some photos of me clubbing with my friends.



Ok gtg. In case you forgot how chio I am, here’s a reminder.

I am pretty.

I am pretty.

I am pretty.

I am pretty.

I am pretty.

I am pretty.

Don’t you think I’m so gorgeous?

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Of Cheese and Penguins

The Blog Culture 58 Comments

Alright, this is gonna be one of those what-I-had-for-lunch kinda post. Feel free to ignore if you wanna.

One of the best things about having a blog is that it does a lot of good to your stagnant social life.
Moving back to Malaysia from Perth after 8 years was a big turning point for me, because that meant losing a lot of friends and networks that I’ve built up over the years. But ever since I got readers coming to this site, I’ve been meeting new people from all over the place non-stop. And I love every moment of it.

Jasiminne the Penguin is one of the more interesting ones I met recently. At just 19, this quirky graphic design student is showing a lot of talent in photography and photo-editting. You gotta be impressed with some of her creative artwork.

Cheesie is another one. When I first mentioned her in my entry about The Stellars , she didn’t take the avalanche of insults too well and ended up feeling distraught for several days.
Who’d have thought just 30 days later, a lot of positives came out as a consequence of that entry. I shan’t divulge too much. Suffice to say, Kenny Sia here indirectly played the role of a matchmaker and *cough* found her a special someone after being featured on kennysia.com. How cool is that?

So anyway, I was in KL over the weekend and made plans to meet up with the two girls. Couldn’t get hold of Cheesie initially because she had more important things to do like attending a play.

Starbucks Espresso Tiramisu cake = 4/10.

Jasiminne and I had Starbucks and Haagen Dazs at KLCC. Camwhored a bit. It’s damn difficult to control myself everytime I meet up with a hot chick ok. It’s even worse when mildly suggestive sexual connotations are all over the place.

We had this phallic-looking bowl of ice-cream from Haagen Dazs.

And discovered there’s this new menu item called the Melon Milkshake. Seriously, wtf?

“Hi, can I have some of your Melon Milkshake please?”
“!!!” *SLAP* *PUNCH* *DRAGON UPPERCUT*

We’re waiting for Cheesie but she didn’t pick up our calls.
Jasiminne’s pal Leonard was nice enough to pick us up from KLCC after work and ferry us around. We stopped by the KLPac (performing arts centre), which is a absolutely gorgeous. It’s tucked inside a park hidden away from the hustle and bustle of central KL.
Then it’s down to more camwhoring.

SEPET 3: One Chinese boy. One Chinese girl. One wardrobe malfunction.

It wasn’t until much much later that evening that Cheesie FINALLY called us. By then we’d already left for dinner at The Curve.

Questionable Hotel Souvenirs

Out of the Ordinary 101 Comments

When I was in KL, I had the pleasure pressure of staying at Imperial Hotel. Despite the regal-sounding name, it’s actually a dodgy-looking hotel located in the dirtier seedier side of the glitzy Bukit Bintang.

As I took the lift up onto the 3rd floor, I noticed the cleaners were sleeping on old newspapers on the floor.
It was quite a sight. I’ve stayed in worse hotels before (in Saratok), but to witness the hotel staff giving you a warm welcome by sleeping on the floor – now that’s definitely a first.

I paid for a Deluxe Room at a rate of RM81 per night. “Deluxe” being a relative term. Anything better than a rubbish dump is considered deluxe when compared to the other rooms of that hotel.

Of course lah, I was being damn stingy. Money is hard to come by these days ya know?
Stupid petrol price increase. And I thought AirAsia moving to the Low Cost Terminal is gonna help make flights cheaper. Why the heck is it called LOW COST terminal if you’re gonna charge us HIGHER airport taxes? Brainless idiots.
Didn’t wanna pay for better hotel since my flight was at 5:30am the following morning and I’d only planned to get a few hours of shut eye before I had to head out to the airport.

As it turns out, my night was spent catching up with naeboo at the mamak stalls in Bangsar till the wee hours of the morning. I ended up spending not more than a grand total 5 glorious minutes in my RM81-a-night hotel room.
What a way to waste your hard-earned money, Kenny. Well done. At least I don’t have to worry about burly transexuals knocking on my hotel room door at 3 in the morning to gimme a “Welcome to KL” from my backside.
One bizarre thing I did encounter in the hotel room though, was this.

I know it’s not uncommon for hotels to offer items from their hotel room as mementoes their guests can purchase. But seriously though, it baffles me why ANYONE would wanna buy second-hand crap from a dodgy budget hotel at prices that’ll make Ikea look like Petaling Street?

Do they expect tourists to carry a dusty torn sofa (semen stains complimentary) all the way back to Germany or something?

Bed spread for RM200. Bed sheet for RM60. Blanket for RM180…

MATTERS PROTECTOR for RM40! What the heck is a MATTERS PROTECTOR? Protect your “matter” one is it? I thought condoms cost like RM1 only leh.
I think this condom must be special one – have LV prints all over it.
I wouldn’t put this up on kennysia.com if it weren’t for those “questionable” items they are selling. Among them…

An eye viewer? What’s an eye viewer?

Fancy a used Foot Mat for RM15? Take a whiff.
Or how about a Toilet Door for RM200?
“Hey Dear, look what I’ve got for you from my trip to Malaysia? It’s a TOILET DOOR! Happy?”
These hotel people are nuts I tell you.

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Egyptian Magician

Out of the Ordinary 62 Comments

The function I attended in KL this past weekend had an Egyptian theme to it.

The event organizers did a great job recreating the Egyptian atmosphere at the Sime Darby Convention Centre, decorating the entire ballroom with (styrofoam) hieroglyphic walls and even shipped over some entertainers from Egypt to entertain us in the lobby before the show.
The “Egyptians” spoke suspiciously in a Indian accent. I asked one of them from which ancient city they hail from and he said Subang Jaya, Egypt.

Dessert came a bit late, so he started first.

It always freaks me out everytime I watch people play with fire like that. What amused me though was his warning message to us during his performance.
“Please don’t try this at home har. You want to try, you can try here. Not at home har!”

Also on hand was an Egyptian fortune teller, who apparently has the uncanny ability to read into a person’s future with the aid of magnifying glass and a plasma ball.

Here’s what the Grande O’ Ball-Reading Psychic had to say about Kenny Sia.
– “Long life. That means above the age of 80.”
– “Very good next 5 years. You can get money suddenly.”
– “Very good lady you can get. Very soon. Within 5 years you can get marriage.”
– “Very intelligent. Particularly you are very courageous.”
– “Following 6 year period. You can expect much more money from sudden change.”
– “From 2006 to 2010 – 4 years will be your fortunate period. You will get much more money and within this period you will enjoy your good life.”

The Fire-Eating Egyptian requests the Ball-Reading Egyptian to read his ass.

WAH! So nice. But that’s like the same as 30 other people’s future he read before me.
I thanked the Grande O’ Ball-Reading Psychic profusely. Then I put his finger on my left nut while I read into his future.
“One… two… three…. four… five… You will have a very good life, Mr Psychic. You will make a lot of money within 5 years. And according to my reliable Hairy Coconut Ball-O’-Mystery, you are also a graduate of the University of Lick Balls And Bullcrapping. Correct?”

The most entertaining person of the night was perhaps the charismatic Egyptian Magician himself. You may have heard of David Copperfield. You may have seen David Blaine. But have you met David Hassan?
Click the play button to watch the Egyptian Magician in action.

Now, how the hell did he do that?!

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