My Very First Online Protest
This is my way for showing my support to French organisation Reporters Without Borders.
For the next 24 hours, there will be no updates on kennysia.com because I am participating in a global online protest against the gross injustice of Internet censorship and the restriction of our freedom of expression.
Don’t delay. Act now!
….
Ok ok fine, I’m just lazy to blog for 24 hours ALRIGHT? π
Hamilton Gardens
There wasn’t much to do within Auckland City itself, so I decided to return to my sister’s place in Hamilton after two days of dilly-dallying around.
I matamata you then you know!
It’s a scenic 1.5 hour drive from Auckland down to Hamilton. I have to say again, it’s such a joy driving around in New Zealand. The roads are smooth and there are no traffic jams. When I’m driving, I feel like I’m in one of those TV car ads.
I don’t know how the Kiwis do it, but everything in New Zealand just seems to look so much better compared to what we have back home. Even their graveyards look better than ours.
See? Got eerie fog some more.
Hamilton is supposedly New Zealand’s 4th largest city, but I reckon it’s still really kinda small. There isn’t a single high-rise building and the city centre is just one simple street through. Even Kuching itself is much bigger than Hamilton.
The little city itself doesn’t have much in terms of tourist attractions. Then again, what it lacks in quantity, it certainly makes up for in quality.
The only interesting place we visited there was Hamilton Garden, which is the location where I took the photo in the Microsoft-Windows-NZ-desktop-turned-racist-Malaysian-political-discussion entry.
It would’ve been a pretty ordinary trip for me if it weren’t for my sister’s two kids who went with us that day.
My sister’s kids are three-year-old Jayden…
And two-year-old Kirsten…
Those two angels are truly the life of the party.
The main attraction of the Hamilton Gardens is the six gardens designed and landscaped to reflect the different cultures of the world. Our first stop was the Japanese Garden of Contemplation.
Those angmohs did a pretty good job creating a garden with Japanese influences, right down to this huge ass stone lamp on the path.
I pointed the lamp out to Jayden and asked, “what is this?”.
He took one look at it and proudly declared “THAT IS A MUSHROOM HOUSE!”
“No Jayden, it’s a lamp.”
“IT’S A MUSHROOM HOUSE!”
A short walk away is the Chinese Scholar’s Garden.
This is the coolest garden ever. Walking along the Chinese garden, I can’t help but to act like I’m one of those typical master you see in ancient Chinese movies.
Like I’m supposed to sit on a bench, recite a poem, laugh heartily, then stroke my imaginary beard while staring wisely into the distance.
We took a short break at the American Modernist Garden. This garden pales in comparison with the other. It just looks like someone’s backyard with a swimming pool and a potrait of Marilyn Monroe.
By this time, Kirsten’s hair was beginning to get messy. She’s now looking like some Tarzan girl who just came out from the wild jungles.
I still love her though.
Kirsten doesn’t smile a lot, but when she does she has a smile that makes my heart melt. Like when she sees a furry puppy.
Or when she gets to play with water.
Her elder brother Jayden smiles too, but he’s a lot cheekier when he does that.
At the Indian Char Bagh Garden.
The most impressive garden by far at the Hamilton Gardens is the Italian Renaissance Garden.
There’s this scary-looking water outlet at the garden.
Jayden wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.
Kirsten is just happy there’s water to play with.
Kirsten Corleone. Heh.
I like this photo of Kirsten looking like a serial killer.
Anyway, this entry is only meant to be a photo album of sorts instead of one filled with lame one-liners. So I shall end this entry with my favourite photo of my favourite baby girl.
There’s no reason why she shouldn’t be the cover girl of my desktop wallpaper! π
Auckward Landing
Auckland, City of Sails, is the largest and most populous city in New Zealand.
Auckland is located on the North Island of New Zealand. I was there last September to visit my sister and her family living in Hamilton, another city about 1.5 hours drive south. This was my second visit to New Zealand. Previously, I had explored the country’s South Island and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Sky Tower, Southern Hemisphere’s tallest free standing building.
Auckland is a lot like a miniature version of Sydney. In fact, it feels very much like a replica of any other big cities in Australia, yet still unique in its own special way. There aren’t many places in the world where you could find a busy seaport, a wet market, the central business district, a volcano and a farm all located virtually next to each other. But that’s Auckland for ya.
My feet at 193m above ground
Apart from bungy jumping off the Harbour Bridge, I was kinda disappointed there isn’t anything else different to experience in Auckland City. Occasionally you see people doing stupid things, like jumping off a tower for fun.
But the city itself doesn’t seem to have much to offer. Shopping isn’t exactly cheap in New Zealand and the food generally is only so-so. Then again, Auckland isn’t known for its food or shopping.
The path to the summit of Mt Victoria, Devonport
It’s very easy to take good photos in Auckland.
Everything in Auckland is beautiful. The sceneries here are very beautiful. Even their sheep poo looks beautiful.
While in Auckland, I visited a few of its popular suburbs. One of my favourites is Devonport, an artistic tranquil laidback little suburb popular for its rows of nice cafes and restaurants.
Mushrooms, in a cosy little cafe called Spitfire.
Everything in Devonport is simple. The residents here live a very simple life. Even their cars look simple.
They’re happy just to wake up every morning, take their pampered dogs out for a walk, then sit by one of the cafes reading a book while sipping latte.
A coffee bean roaster. I LOVE COFFEE.
When I retire, I want to live a life like that and drink coffee everyday.
None Tree Hill
The famous One Tree Hill is another interesting place I visited in Auckland. Only problem is, the one tree hill is removed and replaced by an obelisk.
The hill reserve is actually a family farm, unusually located in the middle of the busy city. This must be the only place in the world where farm animals like sheeps and cows can roam around munching on grasses while city dwellers jogs up and down the hill.
Stupid joggers must kena lots of sheep poo on their shoes.
When the night come, I met up with an old friend of mine Joanne Chin for dinner at this nice Belgian restaurant called The Occidental. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but out of everything that I could have possibly ordered, I asked for their signature Belgian sausage that comes in a shape that looks amazingly like a piece of shit.
The shitty piece of Belgian sausage that I “occidentally” ordered
It tasted quite bland. I didn’t finish it.
The best way for independant travellers like myself to move around in Auckland is by private car. Still, I’m a little bit not used to this sort of luxury. For a big city like Auckland, it is kinda strange that public transport here sucks big time. Buses and trains are infrequent and expensive so many tourists prefer not to utilise them.
A bus trip from Auckland Airport to the city costs NZD$23 per person. Hiring a small car to drive around yourself costs only NZD$29 for the whole day. I’m lucky enough to borrow a car from my sister. Having a sister who lives in New Zealand can also cut costs tremendously. π
Thankfully, the roads are well signposted and it’s extremely easy to tour around self-driven. But from time to time, I had to stop to ask for directions and that’s where the fun starts.
City workers “catching snakes” at a fountain in Auckland’s CBD
New Zealanders speak in a weird accent. It’s close to Australians, but weirder compared to them. At least with Australians, you could still understand them. With New Zealanders, the words could mean something else completely.
Looks like something straight out of a Superman movie
You see, Kiwis pronounce “fish and chips” as “fush and chups”. They pronounce “left” as “lift”.
I once asked for a directions to get to a tourist destination, and the guy told me to “drive down this road and take a lift, go all the way down and take another lift“.
I looked at him one kind and asked if my car can fit into the lift.
Colourful suburban houses
Worse, Kiwis also pronounce “six” and “sex”.
I once bought something from a shop, and the girl at the counter said I need to pay “sex dollars and ten cents”.
She wasn’t too amused when I unzipped my pants.
Welcome To Hell
In New Zealand, if you want to eat pizzas, you can go to Hell.
No wait! Don’t shut down this window! I wasn’t scolding you!
What I mean is… there’s this very popular pizza chain store in New Zealand. And it’s called Hell.
The pizza business is very competitive in NZ. With the dominating Pizza Hut, Pizza Haven and Domino’s all vying for the slice of the pie pizza in the market, the consumers are literally spoilt for choice.
Already, pizza prices are as low as they can get due to hellacious competition. Newcomers can only dream of making ends meet. To get themselves noticed, someone gotta come up with something different.
Even Hell has opening hours. Cannot anyhow come at anytime one you know?
Along comes Hell Pizzas with a pretty interesting concept that sets itself apart from the rest.
I paid a visit to Hell when I was in New Zealand.
This is what Hell looks like.
What the hell? Looks pretty normal to me leh. A far cry from the underworld of pain and suffering Haw Par Villa wants me to believe. Cheh, bluff people one.
But then I got a chuckle out of the brochure they handed out.
Instead of “Delivery”, they have “Deliverance”.
Instead of “All Rights Reserved”, they have “All Wrongs Reserved”.
Their hotline number is 0800 666 111, and they call it Hell Emergency. (“666” is the biblical number of the Anti-Christ and “111” is the number to dial for emergency in New Zealand.)
Hell, even their pizzas are wickedly named.
You don’t get Hawaiian Supreme or stuff like that here. Instead, Hell has got a wide selection of pizzas, including a series named after the 7 deadly sins.
In Hell, you can walk in and ask for Trouble and no one’s gonna laugh at you. But if you do that in Malaysia, you’re gonna leave the shop with a set of broken teeth.
Amazingly, you can even order Holy Water in Hell.
I ordered a “Wrath” just for the hell of it, and it came in this kind of pizza box.
Hypersensitive people will look at it and go “WHOA! SUAY AH! GOT COFFIN ONE!” Actually, I find it very humourous.
Their pizza tastes pretty yummy too.
Best of all, when I finished the delicious pizza, the side of the box asked me to “dispose of the evidence”. Hehe.
Props up to the Kiwis for coming up with something so creative and funny. It makes me wonder if a similar concept can be brought over to Malaysia.
Behold, Hell Kolo Mee!
Hmmm… probably not. π
Happy Halloween, everybody!
She’s Not Sick, Just A Bit Unwell
Up until a few years ago I was working as a private tutor in my spare time, giving tuition lessons to high school and University kids on maths and science subjects.
Back then, I always noticed there are usually two types of students.
The first one would hire me to teach them. I had to go through every single tiny detail with them, right down to the basics that everyone should’ve known. They are the ones who hardly pay attention in class, probably skipped a few of them. But when exams come around the corner, they panicked like their arse cheeks are glued together.
Out of desperation, they reached down into their parents’ deep pockets and threw money at me, asking me to stay back till 3 in the morning so they could catch up with their studies. I wouldn’t have agreed if it weren’t for the money. Sometimes they even expected me to skip my own classes to accomodate for their gross incompetence.
And when they finally got their exam results, they happily said to me, “thank you Kenny, you made me PASS my papers.”
I do not feel any sense of accomplishment with such students. I just feel tulan.
The second type of students would hire my services to learn. I hardly see them around, but prior to their exams, they called me up for a one-hour session. Normally I’d stay longer because they’re such a joy to teach. These ones did all the hard work themselves. They only called me up when they tried everything they could in their capacity but still couldn’t solve some of the harder questions. The difference is, they attempted to stand on their own two feet before calling for help.
Guess who had better results in the end?
Yvonne Foong reminds me of the second type of students I used to teach. The 20-year-old KL girl is being diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis.
You don’t have to know how to pronounce it. You just need to know it is a rare genetic disorder which causes patient to grow tumours on nerves, on the brain and along the spinal cord. The patient will experience symptoms of nausea, balance problems, partial facial paralysis, and most importantly the loss of hearing. There is no cure for this disorder.
When I met up with Yvonne late last year, she has already lost her sense of hearing. Part of her face was obviously affected as well. We communicated writing on a piece of paper and passing to and fro, like primary school kids.
Can you imagine living a life in complete silence?
It is difficult to comprehend what Yvonne is going through. I would think that anybody undergoing such a predicament would obviously be depressed and find it difficult to go on with life.
But Yvonne is not anybody. Her disorder is rare, which means very few doctors in Malaysia specialising in this field. The cost of treatment is outside of what she could afford. But that girl is not taking this shit lying down.
Through intensive research and information gathering, Yvonne managed to track down a Dr Friedman in California, one of the few doctors in the world who could help regain her hearing without damaging her nerves causing facial disfiguration. Best of all,he agreed to perform the complicated surgery on her, free of charge.
All she needed to do is raise enough funds to cover travel and hospital expenses – a hefty RM216,000 thus far.
Instead of sitting there waiting for help to come to her, Yvonne started a series of projects to raise funds for her surgery. She designed and sold T-shirts, organised a rock concert, and even wrote a book on her experiences dealing with NF2.
If you can, pick up a copy of her book at your nearest bookstore. Otherwise, you may generously donate to Yvonne’s medical fund. Her book is titled “I’m Not Sick, Just A Bit Unwell”. For a book written by a first-timer, it was doing pretty good.
So good it was sold out and restocked in some MPH bookstores.
As of writing, Yvonne Foong is in California, having just completed the all-important surgery by Dr Friedman. There has been no updates from her since the day of the surgery. If all goes well, hopefully she could be listening to music, watching movies without subtitles and hearing people talk once again.
Ow, That’s Harsh
Spotted on the menu of De Grill Restaurant, in Sarawak Plaza.
It’s one of my favourite restaurants by the way. They serve the best value-for-money chicken boob meat in town. And then there’s this for sides.
Bahasa Malaysia Is A Fine Language
In a news that flew under the radar of most Malaysians, a garblement officer – the same dude who reprimanded actress Sharifah Amani for speaking English instead of her mother tongue during an award ceremony – has come out to declare that it is now illegal to use Bahasa Malaysia incorrectly, such as mixing it with English.
This is big. In case you don’t understand the gravity of the situation, words such as “MyKad” and “Cyberjaya” could now considered illegal and a finable offence, because they combine English and Bahasa Malaysia words together.
To help enforce this new ruling, the garblement will set up a special “National Language Unit” to clamp down on offenders. After the first warning, “criminals” would be slapped with a whooping RM1,000 fine if found guilty .
You must think that I’m joking, but I’m not.
With a RM1,000 fine, incorrectly using Bahasa Malaysia is now officially a more dangerous offence compared to speeding and running red lights. Although no specific mention were made about what the garblement is gonna do with the fine, I am guessing that these money will go into educating repeat offenders on the correct usage of Bahasa Malaysia and helping them settle back into real life.
The only consolation with this new ruling is that it covers signboards and displays only. But you know and I know that it is only a matter of time before the ruling includes everyday speeches as well. When that happens, imagine the tactics garblement is gonna employ to track down on offenders.
Thanks to Jojo for appearing in this sketch.
“Miss, do you want this? It’s clear, ok? I give you discount lah!”
“You want it? I have more. Lord of the Rings? Finding Nemo? Mr and Mrs Smith?”
Damn men-siasoi-kan.
LG KG810 Chocolate Phone Review
LG makes sexy phones, and one of the latest additions to the Korean’s bevy of beauties is the LG KG810 Chocolate phone.
I was sent a review unit of the new KG810, and this one truly knocks my socks off. The KG810 retains much of its specifications from its predecessor, just that instead of sliding out, this one flips open. The change in design allows the KG810 to be slimmer and lighter compared to the original, making it no thicker than a bar of chocolate.
Presentation obviously matters a lot to LG.
Even the box packaging that the phone comes with is constructed exquisitely with a magnetic lock. It actually looks more like a gift box than the packaging of a phone. This is in stark contrast with the packaging from most other phone manufacturers, which looks like they’re made from egg carton boxes.
As mentioned earlier, the KG810 is a fashion phone. It is made to appeal to fashionistas who are style conscious and want to be seen out and about holding a luxurious phone. It is not made for geeks who want full-featured phone, camera, camcorder, laptop computer, toaster and fax machine all combined into one FAT BULKY package.
Which of these would you rather be seen in the club with?
There are phones out there made for those (they cost about RM3,000 a piece and look like a glorified bar of soap), but the KG810 is not it. You don’t wear a pair of Ferragamos to a construction site and complain when a nail pierced through your soles, because it is not made for that. Which is why I don’t understand why critics are whining about the Chocolate’s 1.3MP camera not having an expandable memory slot.
Frankly speaking 1.3MP camera and 128MB of internal memory is more than enough for a majority of people. I even took some test shots with the phone’s built-in camera.
Unedited photo taken with the LG KG810, and without the model‘s permission
And the results turn out pretty good!
The phone’s got pretty good connectivity too. If I forget to bring my camera when I’m out, I can easily Bluetooth incriminating photos taken with my phone over to my laptop, then GPRS them up the Internet.
If you have the habit of listening to MP3s on your phone, then you’ll love the KG810. The external LCD and red touch-sensitive interface, modelled after the original Chocolate, is built exactly for that purpose. Hook it up with the included earphones and you can even tune into your favourite FM radios.
What I love about the LG KG810:
- The buttons on the keypad are smooth and velvety to touch. It gets ridiculously addictive just rolling my thumb around keypad for fun.
- The sleek form factor and the elegant design (really, that’s the whole point of a fashion phone isn’t it?)
- Its big big LCD screen. That makes watching famous clips like the Police Nude Squat video, Miri Schoolgirl Fight video and Tammy NYP all the more exciting.
- The external LCD screen and touch-sensitive buttons that remain hidden unless activated.
- Zoo Zoo Club and Sudoku. The default games comes in especially handy during my extended toilet session, now that I’m on detox.
- It passes the kennysia.com Drop Test™. Don’t you hate the feeling when you dropped a new phone? Despite how thin it is, the KG810 is solidly built. I accidentally dropped it from a staircase once, but when I rushed to pick it up it is still working fine. There’s not even a scratch on its glossy exterior.
What the LG KG810 can improve upon:
- The user interface can get quite a bit of getting used to.
- The predictive text input for SMS-ing is not very good at predicting.
- Although the built-in camera takes decent pics, its performance is a bit too sluggish for my liking. There’s a delay of about 1 second between pressing the shutter button and actually taking the photo.
If you can overlook these shortcomings like I can, then what you have is a great-looking phone to compliment your fashionable lifestyle. The LG KG810 retails for an affordable RM1,299.
I simply enjoy taking this phone for my night-outs. There’s no denying that a beauty like the KG810 looks a lot more in place in a swanky high end bar than my ugly PDA phone. I particularly love the envious look on my friends’ faces as I slip the phone out from my pocket to answer a call.
Everytime I do that, all the girls would be asking to play with my new phone afterwards.
If only I could say the same about my coconuts.
Fortune Telling Can Sound Quite Wrong Too
Spotted at the Amarin Heavenly Thai restaurant at Midvalley Megamall, KL.
The nice restaurant has kindly provided astrological readings of one of the 12 Chinese zodiac signs, printed on their paper mats on table. This month’s sign is… The Cock.
And somehow, everything just sounded so wrong.
b
Possible scenario.
Girl 1: “So why did you break up with your boyfriend?”
Girl 2: “Oh. I consulted a Chinese fortune teller and he told me that we’re not really that compatible.”
Girl 1: “How come?”
Girl 2: “See, I told him my boyfriend is born in 1981. Immediately, the fortune teller said he’s a cock.”
Girl 1: “That’s not good.”
Girl 2: “Then I told him my boyfriend is born on a Tuesday. So he said he’s a fighting cock.”
Girl 1: “No wonder you two always argue.”
Girl 2: “Yalah. Finally I told him my boyfriend is born in September. And he said…”
Girl 1: “Said what?”
Girl 2: “He said my boyfriend’s a soft iron cock!” π
Girl 1: !!!