Valentine’s Day Revenge

It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

There’s one thing I don’t understand about Valentine’s Day.
Why is so much pressure and expectations put onto us guys to perform on Valentine’s Day? I reckon February the 14th is one big freaking conspiracy theory set up by little girls to force their boyfriends into being extra sweet and nice to them, just so them girls could make their friends jealous.
For years, we are fooled into spending money and taking time off work to plan the ultimate Valentine’s date and make our girls happy. In the end, what do we get? Nothing.
I say enough is enough. I say it’s high time us guys hit back and them girls. Let’s give them have a taste of their own medicine.

This Valentine’s, instead of showing up at the front of her house with a bunch of red roses, just show up empty handed.
When the look of disappointment shows up on her face, tell her straight to her face that you have found someone new. You are dumping her and you’re moving on. Confirm she will demand to know which one is your new girl. When that happens give me a call.
I will show up at her house pretending to be your new girlfriend.


Your boyfriend dumped you because of me. Jealous now?
I am so pretty.

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What Are The Odds?

This is too much of a coincidence.

What are the odds of a Kuching blogger travelling to Penang to be part of a reality TV show, eating Penang Char Kueh Teow at a table, right next to a Singaporean blogger who’s also travelling to Penang to shoot a separate TV show?

I swear there wasn’t any prior planning going into this. The whole thing just happened completely out of the blue.
I was just sitting there doing my thing when I noticed an ang moh boy walking across the road. I thought to myself, “Hmmm… that guy looks remarkably like XiaXue‘s boyfriend.”

A short while later, I noticed a tall lanky girl sporting a tattoo of a star on her arm walking past me, and I thought to myself, “Hmmm… that girl looks just like XiaXue’s Girls Out Loud co-host Rozz.”
“Hey wait a minute, it IS Rozz.”

Turns out the whole Girls Out Loud crew was there in Penang, eating at the exact same Char Kueh Teow stall at the exact same time as I did. Seriously, what are the chances right?
I couldn’t even recognise Wendy Cheng. Sporting a new hair colour and a new nose, she’s looking refreshly different.

Heh. A Kuching boy and a Singaporean girl bumping into each other at a little lorong in Penang, of all places.
It’s a small world after all.

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A New Kind Of Chinese New Year Song

How many bad Chinese New Year songs do we have to tolerate each year until our brains start falling off?

Original Chinese New Year songs are good enough as they are, but YEAR AFTER YEAR some idiots JUST have to put out these Weapons of Mass Destruction aka underaged kids with too much make-up on their ugly faces, screaming through the music videos in a supposedly “cute” fashion.
How can anyone stand that kind of torture?!
If you’re thinking it couldn’t get any worse, you are wrong. In a desperate attempt to spice up your favourite Chinese New Year songs, someone came up with an album intelligently titled… Chinese New Year Songs (Dance Remix).

Mark my words, this song is gonna be a HUGE in clubs worldwide.

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Ouch

I somehow managed to cut myself today.

I was walking around a construction area this afternoon. Some contractor there left a huge piece of glass on the table. When I walked past it, I unknowingly swung my hand into the glass and it left a deep gash on my finger.
Strangely it didn’t hurt one bit when my flesh was cut inside. Blood was flowing non-stop, but I thought all I gotta do is put a plaster on it and just go home.

The doctor actually took this pic for me. Haha!

It wasn’t until the doctor told me that I require stitches to close up the gaping wound that I freaked out.
Yes, I may have balls the size of coconuts but I’m a pussy when it comes to people poking needles in me. What more, sewing my flesh up like it’s a piece of clothing.

The procedure wasn’t as bad as I thought though. The doctor poked a needle in me and two minutes later my hand was numb. Still, having a needle stuck in me hurts more than having a glass piece slice open my flesh. I had two stitches put on my finger.
I was also refrained from swimming and lifting any heavy weights for two weeks. Guess that pretty much means that come Chinese New Year, my uncles and aunties will be saying “WAH! So fat already huh !?”

I took a photo of my wounded finger in its worst state, but I don’t think I should put it up here. There are kids and old people reading this thing.
It is very disgusting. And I strongly advise you against seeing it if you have a weak heart. You wouldn’t be able to take it. It is gruesome. Still, if you are curious and you really wanna see how it looks like, feel free to go ahead and…
CLICK HERE.
Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

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Open Challenge To Penang Bloggers

I am issuing an open challenge to all bloggers based in Penang.

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Someone once said to me that Penang has the best food in the whole of Malaysia. As a true red, black and yellow Sarawakian, I beg to differ.
I think Kuching has the best food in the whole of Malaysia. That is my opinion. Yes, it is a lil controversial but I’m sticking to to my guns and those Penangites living on that little island to the west can prove me wrong. πŸ˜›

A while back, I revealed my choices for what I think are the best of the best you will find in Kuching. These are food that us locals here crave for. They are so good, Kuching people here have no hesitation travelling 7 miles out of town just to get to that coffee shop to drink that authentic cup of Teh-C-Special.
So, I wanna know your Penang equivalent. I wanna see your version of the Penang Food Awards. The challenge to all you Penang khia is this.
Where can I find the BEST OF THE BEST Penang food?

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I’m talking about your best Assam Laksa. I’m talking about your best Penang Char Kueh Teow. I’m talking about your best Nasi Kandar. Preferably complete with pictures and maybe some directions on how to get there.
You can post your choices for our very own Penang Food Awards and whore your blog links in my comment section as much as you want. Closing date is one week from now. I’ll look through all your recommendations and the one with the best guide to Penang food wins.
I can’t do much in terms of prizes though. Unless the Penang Tourism Board can cough up something, the winning blogger will get a Blog Plug of the Day from me and a one month text link on kennysia.com. Hey, it’s better than nothing.

Of course lah, there is an ulterior motive behind this. πŸ˜‰
See, I’m flying off to Penang the coming Saturday. Joo Nee, one of the finalists in reality TV show Nescafe Kickstart Season 3 has decided to fly me down to make an appearance at the opening launch party of her dance studio Let’s Dance!

What Captain Jack Sparrow would look like if he were a female.

If you wanna say hi and lend your support to Penang’s own dancing diva, we’ll be there 8pm – 12midnight, Saturday 10th February on Level 28, Northam Tower A. Be sure to register through their website as places are limited.

OMG! That’s how I look like in 2002. hehehe

This won’t be my first time to Penang. I’ve been to Batu Ferringhi and Kek Lok Si temple before, so I’m not interested in tourist attractions like those. After the opening launch party, I’m gonna make full use of my time in Penang to sample the legendary range of Penang food, and perhaps check out the nightlife there a little. Some suggestions from the locals would be nice.
So Penang people here’s your chance. I’ve shown you what Kuching has, so now it’s your turn to show me what you’ve got. πŸ™‚

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Nikon D40 dSLR Camera Review

Find the best deals on new digital cameras for all ages! Get customer ratings and professional price comparison before you buy. Learn how 1001 uses for digital cameras that will keep you busy for hours.  Also find great deals on digital camera accessories to go along with your new camera. Check out this great comprehensive guide to taking great digital pictures to capture your memories.



I’ve been having a string of bad lucks when it comes to digital cameras.

First, I had my one-year-old pocket-sized Sony T9 stolen. At least I thought it was stolen.
Actually I had carelessly misplaced the camera and couldn’t find it for a month. By the time I found it, I had already stupidly forked out cash for a Sony T10 to replace it. D’oh! So I ended up having two similar Sony cameras side by side.
I had plans to sell off my old T9, but then my brand new Sony T10 was stolen.

It was New Year’s Eve and I was out partying in crowded places. My camera was clipped on to my belt. One moment I was happily snapping photos of my buddies, next moment, it was gone. πŸ™
It sucks bad enough that your camera is stolen. but when your 2-month-old baby is stolen – damn, that sucks even worse than an Electrolux vacuum cleaner.

I couldn’t get over the fact that I lost a new camera. My impulse told me to immediately get another Sony T10 to fix my broken heart. But then I have a slim camera in my arsenal already, so why add another similar one to it?
After a bit of research, I decided to spend a bit more to jack up my weapon to a larger digital SLR instead.

This is the Nikon D40 dSLR camera I bought for myself a few weeks ago.
I went for a Nikon because almost everyone I know who are serious about their photography uses a Nikon. Even the people who depends on their camera to fed them like Joyce Wong, Kid Chan, and Alvin Leong all shoot with a Nikon.

The camera isn’t yet available in Kuching. I got mine from a shop at Sungai Wang Plaza in KL, and even then many shops there have already sold out the Nikon D40. Some even jacked up their prices unreasonably high just to piss potential customers off. Dammit I hate people like that.
There’s a reason for this camera’s popularity. The Nikon D40 is the smallest and lightest digital SLR camera on the market. It is also the most affordable, which is good for cheapskates like me.

Previously, if you want a dSLR you gotta be prepared to pay a starting price of around RM3,000. The Nikon D40 comes with a price tag of less than RM2,200 and comes bundled with a camera bag and a 1GB SD card.

Look at how good the camera is. This shot is taken with a Sony T9.
Compare that with a similar shot taken blow with the Nikon D40.

There’s really no comparison between the two. The dSLR is in a whole different league of its own. Image quality-wise, the Nikon D40 is leaps and bounds ahead of any camera I have ever owned.
I especially like its ability to focus so quick and so good.

On the downside, the Nikon D40 is so freaking humungous that I cannot possibly carry it around everywhere I go.

Where am I gonna hide this camera, man? In my pocket?
Still, I’m taking this baby whenever I can and learning it slowly. Right now, there are too many manual controls that a casual photographer like me are clueless of and would have to take time to figure out.
What “shutter speed” what “aperature priority”? I catch no ball.

It’s an expensive hobby lah, this whole photography thing. I don’t even have aspirations to be a professional photographer. I just wanna take better pictures than I currently do.
The good this about having a SLR is that when my photography skillz go from n00b to l33t, the option to upgrade the camera is there.

I can even zhng my camera with different types of lens!
Here are a few more reasons why an SLR camera kicks bigger arse than a normal digital camera.
1. An SLR camera takes a lot better pictures.

In Malaysia, ‘Dilarang Membuang Sampah’ means ‘You’re welcome to chuck your rubbish here anyhow you like’

Even a rubbish dump looks good when it’s taken with an SLR camera.
You don’t see professional photographers for magazines or weddings going around snapping photos with pissy Sony T10s. They all use big black cameras. The BIGGER the camera, the BETTER. And if you’re not using your BIG camera to take pictures, you can always use it to hit people.

2. You look way cooler holding an SLR camera.

And chicks are gonna dig you.
Why? Because an SLR camera is big. And chicks dig guys who carry around a big equipment.

3. You can go to concerts or events for free by dressing up as a reporter.

The security aren’t gonna know diddly squat about cameras. They’ll just think people who hold small cameras are fanboys trying to harrass the celebrities and those who hold big cameras are reporters trying to do their jobs. Instead of getting chased away by angry burly men, you can sneak into the restricted zones and take up-close photos of the celebrities as much as you like. After all, you’re just a reporter “doing your job”, right? πŸ˜‰ Hur hur hur.
(Disclaimer: kennysia.com does not encourage sneaking into concerts. Please seek your mommy’s permission before you do so. kennysia.com will not be held liable for any damages, including damages done to your face when you’re caught by security)

4. Finally, your subjects are happier if you take pictures of them with an SLR camera.
Last time, if you use a normal camera to shoot them, they would say NO.


Now, if you use an SLR camera to shoot them, they pose for you!

Such is the power of a dSLR camera.

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Undergrad Wore Rude T-shirt On Newspaper, Becomes Famous.

Took out Sunday’s paper, saw this.

On first glance, it appears just like a regular national paper’s education insert with a cover story about a bunch of Malaysian undergrads in the USA who took time out from their studies to travel across the country.
Upon closer inspection, I noticed something a little peculiar.

Noticed anything out of place?
Here, lemme zoom in a little closer.

McSHIT!
What the heck is a McSHIT!
Is it when you go McDonald’s and eat too much Big Mac, then have to go toilet to make McSHIT!?

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More importantly, how did something like “McSHIT” made its way onto our national newspaper. ON THE COVER OF THE EDUCATION INSERT SOME MORE!
Someone’s gonna get into trouble at The Star‘s offices today. Are they nuts? You’d think The Star would’ve realised their mistake when they put McShit on the cover of their Education insert. But nooooooo…
Flip open the center page, and you’re greeted with this.

OH MY GAWD! IT’S A HAPPY McSHIT!

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Senso @ Hilton

I’m seldom online because once in a while my day job (yes, I do have one) catches up on me.

These days I’m spending longer hours in the office and shorter hours lying on my bed sleeping. In between earning my dough, staying healthy, having a social life and maintaining this blog, I don’t have a lot of spare time to do some of the stuff I enjoy doing, like chatting on msn or watching the latest movies in the cinemas.

Hilton Hotel is becoming like my second home. Not because I stay there (I wish), but without fail, every single day after work I’d drop by the fitness centre for an hour or so, either to lift weights or to use the pathetically small swimming pool they have on their first floor.

Sometimes at night, I enjoy coming here to chill out.
I like the hot chocolate they serve at Cafe Cinno.

Without a doubt, they make the best hot chocolate in the whole of Kuching.
Unlike the conventional they served elsewhere that are probably made with chocolate powder, the hot chocolate at Cafe Cinno comes in a mug of hot milk and a glass filled with rolls of chocolate. Actual hard chocolate rolls.

You’re supposed to chuck those chocolate rolls into the hot milk and give it a good stir. I find that doing it this way makes the beverage smoother, creamier and more satisfying. At RM8 a mug, it’s not all that expensive compared to Bing or Coffee Bean either.
If you pass by Hilton these few days, you’d noticed that they’ve been promoting this trio of singers called ‘Reflections’ like crazy.

Yea I thought the girl on the right look pretty easy on the eye too. πŸ˜›
In fact, she looks even more yummilicious in person.

The girl is Relene. She looks Japanese but she’s actually Filipino.
Relene sings alongside her mother Arlene and a pianist from Thailand called Dio at Senso everynight except Mondays. The trio was performing in places like Tokyo and Bangkok before they decided to make Kuching their next stop.

I was there last Friday and Senso was packed to the max.
Reflections performs mostly covers from the classic 80s, but every now and then they throw in a bit of modern pop tunes to hype up the crowd.

How well can a Filipino sing? Not bad in fact. That’s why you see so many of them on American Idol.
Strange thing with these performers is that when they talk, they talk with a heavy Thai/Filipino accent, but when they start singing their accent automagically disappeared.

Hey, at least it’s great that Senso is doing something different from the rest of the bars and pubs in town.
Sure, Kuching still seriously pale in comparison to KL and Singapore when it comes to nightlife. Those big cities have got clubs so enormous they could fit the whole Kuching in, and then some.

But hey, at least we’re improving.
If you want R&B, there’s SoHo. If you wanna shuffle, there’s MC3. If you want house music, go Links. Now, if you want good live music, you’ve got Senso.
Someone bring more variety into Kuching nightlife please. Otherwise, it’ll just be Ah Beng tetno music everywhere, and we’re seriously sick of those.

That, dodgy dangdut bars for dirty divorced old men to grope all over scantily-dressed Indonesian women half their age.

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Flood Relief

YC popped me an e-mail message last night.

“Spread the words uncle kenny! LINK
Raising funds for the flood. thanks heaps!! xoxo”

Puzzled, I replied:

Wait… Did you just say you wanna raise funds for the flood? Or did you mean you wanna raise fund for the flood VICTIMS?
I dun wanna raise no muthafrickin’ funds for no muthafrickin’ FLOOD, yo!

She then proceeded to laugh her head off at her obvious error.

Anyway, self-made fashion designer YC is doing something for a good cause. From now until February, she’s auctioning off items from her Blackjettas Jewellery and Drama Mama range to raise funds to aid the recent Johor flood victims. All her clothes and jewellery are handmade by herself and one of her kind, meaning you won’t EVER find another person wearing the same stuff.
You can find out more at her blog or e-mail yc.phoon@gmail.com
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The day before I got a phone call from someone unexpected.
Caller: “Hello is this Kenny Sia?”
Kenny: “Yes, this is Kenny speaking.”
Caller: “Kenny, this is JJ and Rudy from the hitz.fm Morning Crew!”
Kenny: “OH MY GAWDDDDDD!!!!”

JJ and Rudy are hosts of the breakfast show on radio station hitz.fm (Malaysia’s No.1 hit station!), which I listen to on my way to work every morning. These two are famous for making hilarious prank GOTCHA calls to terrorise innocent victims who don’t know better. I had wasn’t one of their targets before I realised that they actually called to ask for a favour.
The hitz.fm Morning Crew is organising a charity event, and they wanted me to write something on kennysia.com to help promote it. I agreed, but after putting down the phone I felt a little strange. See, hitz.fm is mass media and kennysia.com is just a blog. How come a mass media is asking a blog to promote their event?! Shouldn’t it be like… the other way round?

Anyway, if you want to help out some 90,000 victims affected by the water devastation in Malaysia’s south, please bring along donations to La Bodega at Bangsar Shopping Centre, Kuala Lumpur this Saturday, 27th January, between 11am to 2pm.
They wanna help the kids more than anything else so they’re looking in particular for school uniforms, school bags, shoes and stationery items, but basic necessities and food items are still welcome.

The hitz.fm crew and local celebs like Pop Shuvit, Liang, Afdlin Shauki (from the movie Sumo-lah) and KinkyBlueFairy will all be there and La Bodega will be providing free refreshments for those who dropped by.

Getting hit by the flood is bad, but getting hit by the flood twice in a month is even more suay. While we’re wondering where to go for a night out drinking, those kids affected by the flood are wondering how they’re gonna even go to school when all their belongings were washed away.
So let’s all have compassion and do something for the less fortunates instead of sitting comfortably on your butt surfing the Net, ok?


Please?

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Guys’ Priorities

Friend of mine messaged me on MSN late one night.

Jane* (not her real name): Can I ask you one question?
Kenny: Go ahead.
Jane*: You’re a busy guy right?
Jane*: Let’s say you have a girl, who needs attention, who is away for vacation… Then she is online one day. But you have a friend at your place. What would you do?
Kenny: I would entertain the friend first.
It’s an easy decision. With girlfriends you can always call them later, but a guest at your place needs to be taken care of first instead of leaving them hanging. Right?
Jane*: Yerrrr… then?
Kenny: Then when the friend leaves, I’ll entertain the gf lah.
Jane*: Yerrrrrrrrrr!!! But the gf waited the whole day dy!
Kenny: I ask you lah. When you have a friend coming over to your place, are you gonna chase her out just because you wanna talk to your boy boy? Or maybe turn on Astro and ask the friend to entertain herself?
Jane*: Yea I’ll do that. lol
Jane*: I won’t chase them out but they can take it like their own place. Then I go talk to my boy boy for 10 mins. Instead of just telling her, “I have friends over. Gonna watch Man U. Probably can’t talk to you right now.”

Kenny: My gawd. Guys don’t function that way.
Kenny: If we show our soft sides in front of our guy friends, we’d automatically lose our dicks and become sissies.
Jane*: Testosterones!! Why guys so difficult one. -_-
Jane*: Would you call your friend a sissy if you were the guest and he left you with Astro?
Kenny: Yeah, I would.
Jane*: -_-
Kenny: ‘cos I only disturb him probably once a week. Maybe even once a month. And he wants to use buddy time to chat with his girlfriend? wtf man.
Jane*: It’s guys like that which makes us girls cry because bf doesn’t want to be a sissy =(
Why would any girl wanna date a sissy ANYWAY?

Kenny: Well, we put up with your many things also.
Jane*: hrm… like?
Kenny: Like… tantrums.
Kenny: Like spending money on handbags and shoes.
Kenny: Like being fussy about every single thing.
Jane*: I am only guilty of the last one. =\
Jane*: Maybe i should also be guilty for the first two to get even.
EVIL.

Jane*: Leaving the friend with Astro for 10 mins also cannot. =\
Kenny: Not cannot. ‘cos women’s clock is different.
Kenny: 1 minute is 10 minutes.
Kenny: 10 minutes is 1 hour.
Kenny: 1 hour is half a day.
Jane*: hrm… how long is 10 mins to a guy?
Kenny: Depends on what we’re doing.
Kenny: If we’re having fun, playing games, watching football, 10 minutes feel like 10 seconds.
Kenny: If we’re waiting for food, waiting for TOTO results, waiting for girls to shop, 10 minutes feel like eternity.
Jane*: No wonder last time he was late. HE WAS AT HIS FRIEND’S PLACE PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES!

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