There’s this news from a while back that kinda went under the radar because everyone was so pre-occupied with watching “Paris” Chua Soi Lek’s video.
Apparently, some clown over at Putera UMNO thought it was a good idea to pay Mat Rempits cold-hard cash to help send voters to the polling booths on election day.
This comes in the wake of rebranding these hooligans as Mat Cemerlangs, signing them up as Rakan Cops, and sending them on an all-expense-paid trip to the North Pole for a sky-diving expedition.
Getting Mat Rempits to send voters to the polling booths. What a stupid, STUPID idea.
AS IF it wasn’t bad enough already that these noisy pests on motorbikes are terrorising our streets riding like this.
Can you imagine what’s gonna happen if they REALLY let those Rempits take the Aunties out on election day?
Where is the Auntie gonna sit?
Somebody is gonna get a heart attack I tell you.
Chicago 7
Recently there’s been a lot of new places popping up all over Kuching.
Chicago 7 is one of those new fast food restaurants that has only recently started business here.
The franchise outlet offers all the standard American-style fast food like burgers, hot dogs, fries and “broasted” chickens. I like it. They are pretty much like your regular KFC or McDonald’s, except the quality of food here is a lot better and cleaner.
The only problem is that Chicago 7 is new. Very new.
They are so new that half the stuff on their menu isn’t even available yet.
When I was there last night, the hot dogs are sold out, the chickens are not here, and the only thing they have left are the burgers. But even then the burgers at Chicago 7 are not the same as the ones I’m used to.
For instance, I’m used to burgers being called either “chicken burgers” or “beef burgers”. Over at Chicago 7, they don’t call it Bar-B-Q Beef Burger. They call it Bar-B-Q Cow.
So if you wanna order a beef burger, you tell them you wanna order a cow.
And I couldn’t resist pulling some lame jokes on the poor cashier.
Cashier: What would you like to order?
Kenny: I’ll have a Bar-B-Q Cow.
Cashier: Bar-B-Q Cow? Or meal?
Kenny: Just the cow.
Cashier: Just the cow?
Kenny: Yeah. Do I have to feed the cow grass or… what?
Cashier: -_-
Kenny: Does it come with milk?
Cashier: No!
Kenny: So how am I gonna fit it in the car?
Cashier: -_____-
Kenny: So if I want milk shake, I just take the cow and shake it a bit, is it?
Cashier: -___________-
The cashier was so put off by my lame jokes, her expression was exactly like this.
I think she was very annoyed lah. Because in the end, she did not even deliver my order!
Diu Or No Diu
As you know, I was on TV a while ago for the game show Deal Or No Deal.
It has always been one of those quriky dreams of mine to be on a TV game show, dating back to the days of Wheel Of Fortune and A Million Dollar Chance Of A Lifetime that I used to watch a lot in the 80s.
It wasn’t so much the 15-minutes-of-fame to be on TV that attracted me, more so the huge-ass amount of money that awaits – all for answering some really simple questions.
Of course, for a long time that little dream of mine never materialised because most game shows are held in KL and I live in Kuching. But earlier last year, I was in KL and by chance I saw Deal Or No Deal doing a road show at 1Utama.
Dawn Jeremiah
I got nothing to lose right? So I filled up the application form and didn’t give it much of a thought after that.
Surprise surprise. Three months later, I received a call from the show’s producers telling me I’ve been selected to participate in Deal Or No Deal. They asked me if I could make the flight to KL.
Needless to say, I jumped at the opportunity like a kangaroo.
Without so much as to give it a second thought, I took two days off work and booked a RM500 flight straight to KL.
What’s RM500 for a flight compared to how much I could potentially take home right? Hey, people win a lot of money on these things. Just the other night, I saw some guy on TV walked away with RM20,000 just like that.
I figured, even if I win only just half his prize money, I’ll be happy. RM10,000 is more than enough for me to do a lot of things I wanted to do. I’d love to travel to the States, upgrade my computer and do a bit of charity if I win a big prize money.
My confidence picked up even more when I attended the filming of the episode before mine, and that contestant won some RM43,000! That’s a crazy amount of money I could only imagine winning in my dreams.
And then it was my turn to be filmed.
He he he
I was nervous as hell. So nervous, because it was officially the first time I’m going on TV – if you don’t count those numerous times when I “accidentally walked past” in the background when somebody else was shooting something.
First, I had to go past the elimination round. There were 6 contestants, and only the first person to answer two questions correct can go through to the next round.
I missed the first question.
The second question was “Which is the longest river in the world?”, and I got that right. The third question was “Which of the following sports does not allow players to use their hands? Basketball, volleyball or football?” I answered “Football” and I’m through to the next round!
… and that’s when everything started going downhill for me.
The briefcase models. Too bad I couldn’t take them home.
I won’t dwelve into the details on how the game is played. Suffice to say, the objective is to eliminate all the small amounts of prize money on the left hand side of the board. The more prize moneys on the left hand side is eliminated, the higher the possibility that I’ll be offered a bigger sum of prize money by the mysterious “banker”.
Here’s how it went down.
First I picked a briefcase to keep, and proceeded to eliminate 6 briefcases.
Diu. I picked all the ones on the right hand side!
Nevermind. At least the RM100,000 prize money is still there. Banker offered RM600 but I’m arrogant so he can go kiss my ass.
Next, I have to get rid of 5 more briefcases.
Diu! Almost all the big money are gone!
Fine, RM100,000 is still in play so I might just get lucky.
I have to throw away 4 more cases.
DIU!
Now even RM100,000 is gone!
How to play lah like that?!
To cut the long story short, I played until I threw away all the big prize money on the right hand side.
Left with all the pathetically small prize money, I reluctantly accepted the banker’s offer of RM100 halfway to end the game. And even that decision was not a good deal. Because in the briefcase that I was holding onto all along, I have RM250.
Damn, I should’ve just take the RM900 Samsonite briefcase and run.
I lost a lot of money by flying to KL just to take part in the game show. But you know what? That is not the most tulan thing about the whole experience I had on Deal Or No Deal.
My friends Nelly, Alwyn, Allan and Tim drove all the way to the ntv7 studios in Shah Alam to attend the shooting of my episode and give me support. I thought that if I were to win a lot of money, I could’ve treated them to a nice meal to show my appreciation.
Since that did not happen, I could only do the next best thing I could do. And that is to compensate Tim for his petrol.
I think the petrol itself is already RM100. So there goes my prize money.
Diu or No Diu?
“Employability” Programme
One of the biggest concerns facing students these days is whether or not they could get employed by the time they graduate.
Because of that, a lot of colleges have initiated programmes to help students better find jobs when they leave college.
Like this poster I spotted at one of the college notice boards.
Doesn’t look very employable leh.
kennysia.com Turns Three
I wouldn’t even know about this if Cheesie didn’t tell me.
For some strange reasons, Gua.com.my (“Malaysia’s entertainment and lifestyle portal!”) has named me one of the Seven Coolest Malaysians of 2007.
I don’t even know how I managed to get on that list.
Yalah, I was a bit suspicious when some guys kidnapped me and stuck a thermometer up my ass to measure how “cool” I was. But me as one of the coolest Malaysians?
I shit funny. From Bukit Bintang Automated Toilet Review
My first thought was that they must’ve made some sorta technical error and mixed up “Kenny Sia” with “Kanye West”. But still, to be mentioned alongside other justifiably more famous Malaysians like Nicol David, Maya Karin and space tourist Sheikh Muszaphar is, well, cool. 🙂
I am so cool I shall finish blogging the rest of this entry looking like this.
That was a nice gift on a special occasion for me.
Yesterday, the 4th of January, was officially kennysia.com‘s 3rd anniversary. And usually around this time of the year I like to take the walk down memory lane and reflect on the highlights of this blog.
When the nation was celebrating 50 years of nationhood, kennysia.com was celebrating something else
It’s quite amazing to think that kennysia.com has been continuously running for three years, especially considering my workload at the office had increased multiple-folds and also repeated protests from within my family to shut down this blog.
My family obviously thinks that my commitment in the office is more important. Of course I see my job and my blog as of equal importance. I don’t think one necessarily needs to be sacrificed at the expense of another, so I try to strike a balance and make some compromises. Though I must admit, lately it has become more and more difficult for me to juggle between the commitments of my job and my blog, hence the sometimes lack of content.
A huge part of kennysia.com this past year was devoted to Travel Logs. That’s hardly surprising considering I’ve been travelling every month of 2007. I didn’t even manage to stay in Kuching for a full stretch of 30 days.
To be honest, I’m not sure how well-received my travel logs are. (Please say you like my travel logs.) In any case, I sure hope people enjoyed reading my travel logs as much as I enjoy writing them, because I bloody well enjoy writing them. Just looking through the photos and putting my experience into words is enough to make me re-live the good times once again.
2007 was Visit Malaysia Year.
Although personally I think VMY2007 was a scam by the tourism industry to jack up hotel prices to record high (know any Malaysian who managed to get a cheap travel package in Malaysia?), there are some places in this country that I thoroughly enjoyed going to and blogging about.
By far, climbing Mt Kinabalu in Sabah was the best travel experience I had, made even better with the company of a new friend in Su Ann.
Coming in second, was my Ipoh trip which ended up unexpectedly interesting and memorable. I also did a guide on my Penang food hunting trip which I’m sure is gonna make a lot of people very hungry.
Outside of Malaysia, my Hanoi travel logs (specifically Sapa) are my favourite.
I also enjoyed travelling Jakarta like a local and visiting Bangkok’s Chatuchak market.
In my third year of blogging, I begin to see signs of bloggers being taken as seriously as journalists from the mainstream media especially during press events. That is something I really appreciate.
It all started with me e-mailing the organisers of the Sarawak Rainforest World Music Festival for a press pass and actually getting it. I have never received a press pass for anything before, and I was excited.
After that, I didn’t think it could get any better, but it did.
In August, I was flown to Macau to blog about the grand opening of the mindbloggingly luxurious Venetian Macao Resort Casino. I watched their grand opening concert where David Tao and Diana Ross performed, dined at their gala dinner and stayed at their RM2,000-a-night room way before anyone else from the public did.
Two months later, I was again flown to Bangkok to blog about Suki and Faizal’s interview with The Black Eyed Peas. As if getting the absolute front row spots during their live concert wasn’t good enough, I was even invited backstage to chat and shake hands with the stars.
All these just for being a BLOGGER! Can you imagine? I used to have to sneak into events to blog about them!
Now could you fault me for not following my mother’s advice and shut down this blog?
Hamsters are not halal = Controversy
Of course, life isn’t always a bed of roses for me. One thing consistently plaguing me is that I seem to attract controversy, even when I do not mean to.
There are generally two types of readers on kennysia.com.
There’s one that prefers the old-fashioned, unapologetic, uncensored version of Kenny Sia who do not hold himself back by pandering to the public. Then there’s another one that thinks because a lot of people read kennysia.com, that I should censor myself and not blog about things that would make people angry, because y’know, with great power comes great responsibilities and shit.
Seems to me that the concept of blogs as an open personal diary is still difficult for some quarters to grasp.
When I blogged about a fatal car accident I witnessed way back in May, some people think I shouldn’t do it because I was being insensitive. Yet, I think I reserve the right to blog it because it was something extraordinary that happened in my life.
The ensuing debate ballooned to a dramatic 1,043 comments, until support for me came from the most unlikely of sources – William Liew, the husband and father of the victims.
Then there was this time I swallowed a beating heart of a cobra. A lot of animal lovers threatened to cut out my heart and swallow my blood in revenge eventhough I maintained that it was a once-off experience, and that I don’t normally feast on live seafood or animals.
And who could’ve forget that transvestite-boobie-baring incident?
After seeing so many people insulted me and accused me for disrespecting the transvestite, I finally believe that Malaysians have more respect for transvestite prostitutes than for bloggers.
Anyway, controversies are inevitable and haters are always gonna be there, but what I enjoy doing best is still making people laugh.
Remember the time when everyone was crazy about the movie Transformers?
How about when we found out that Dumbledore was gay?
But if I had to pick my absolute favourite blog entry out of all those, I’d pick the time when I beat the scammers at their own game in The Hong Kong Lucky Draw Scam.
That particular blog entry was passed around so much, it ended up saving a lot of people from heartache and losing their hard-earned money. And I’m glad it did.
So that was kennysia.com‘s third year in review. I don’t know what 2008 holds for this blog, but with the General Elections, the Olympics and the Eurocup all in this year, I doubt there’s gonna be a shortage of subjects to poke fun at. 😉 Man, I just wish I had more free time to blog.
Happy 3 years old, my blog.
Malaysian Health Minister Sex Tape
I thought the government was gonna announce an election early this year. Instead what we saw was an erection.
In case you didn’t get what I was talking about, apparently our Malaysian Health Minister did a Paris Hilton and appeared in a sex video tape. 60-year-old Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek was caught with his pants down having sex with a young girl who wasn’t his wife. The video was leaked and made into a DVD distributed throughout Johor.
Following the release of the sex tape, the Health Minister who is also MCA vice-president subsequently apologised and resigned from all posts.
Now let us just digest that for a minute because that was quite an incredible news to take.
60 years old. Health Minister. Malaysia. Sex tape.
…
…..
………
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
That is just so wrong on so many levels I don’t even know how to begin.
That naughty naughty boy.
I know Malaysia didn’t have a proper sex education program, but I certainly did not expect our ministers to show us how to do it themselves. Don’t have to be THAT generous, y’know?
The minister claimed that the woman he was caught having sex with was “a personal friend”.
I used to think personal friends are those people you go out with from time-to-time to have Starbucks and then disappear all of the sudden when your birthday is coming close. I didn’t know you could actually have sex with personal friends. Wtf I feel so cheated. Dammit all you personal friends of mine I want my money back.
In the end, the minister resigned and it was all over within one day. Morally, he couldn’t have handled it any better.
Knowing what politicians are capable of doing, he could’ve demanded to set up a 3-man panel to investigate the authenticity of the tape. And then Nazri and Najib would come out and protect him. And then they would say there is no need for a royal commission. And then 3 months later they would suddenly turn around set up a royal commission. And then they would convene to recommend who to include in the royal commission. And then they would go to court for 10 months calling all witnesses to come forward. And then they will claim to give these witnesses free plastic surgery to protect them. And then they would say the government is very caring and listened to the people. And then they would give the Health Minister a promotion. And then they would blame the opposition for trying to destroy the peace and stability of this country and lock them up using ISA.
But no, they did not set up a 3-man panel to investigate the authenticity of the video clip.
Or maybe they did, but then they realised it’s impossible to watch a porno video from start to finish.
Why? Because they kept ending up with 3 horny men and a lot of used tissues.
It’s sad Chua Soi Lek had to go ‘cos from what I remember he’s one of the good ones. Like Bill Clinton, Datuk Chua Soi Lek is a good politician who has made poor personal judgments.
It was a set-up and he was “screwed”. Still, I think he “cocked up”. I can understand if he wanted to start 2008 with “a bang”. But if you’re bonking someone who isn’t your wife, it’s gonna be “hard”.
It’s bad enough to see someone involved in a sex tape.
What more a minister. What more a HEALTH minister. What more a 60-year-old Health Minister who is married with kids.
In all fairness, he could’ve argued that he was testing out this new sex drug. But of course he’s better than that. Well, now that he has withdrawn… I mean, resigned, maybe he should endorse something.
After all, the old bugger did last 55 minutes on the bed with a hot young chick. Even I gotta admit that was pretty impressive for a 60-year-old grandpa. What did he take? Some Tongkat Ali Super Pill? Whatever he was having, I’ll have two thankyouverymuch.
I have to admit I have not seen the DVD myself. Now that the police has threatened to act against anyone found to distribute the Health Minister porno, I don’t think we’ll have the chance to watch it ever.
It’s such a pity really, because I have a feeling the DVD cover might look something like this.
I dunno man, who’s interested in watching a 60-year-old Health Minister having sex?
It’s A New Chapter
Here’s wishing you a Happy New Year, from all of us at the staff and production crew at kennysia.com.
The entire staff and production crew at kennysia.com
Deal Or No Deal: The kennysia.com Edition
This has sure taken a while, but finally I’m allowed to publish this.
For those who were unfortunate enough to miss my brilliant performance on Deal Or No Deal (and by “brilliant” I mean worse-than-our-minister-rapping-on-Al-Jazeera type of brilliance), here’s the full episode of my first ever feature appearance on TV.
First!
Second!
3rd!
Fourth!
Last!
Quote of the Day: “I shall go down in history as the WORST player on Deal Or No Deal!” — Kenny Sia, 18 April 2007.
Me And My Long Hair
Jasiminne the Penguin is back.
Jasiminne was among one of the more popular female bloggers from “back in the days”.
I haven’t heard from her ever since she moved to London a year ago and disappeared off the face of the Internet. No MSN, no e-mails, no nothing. Then one fine day she e-mailed me to tell me that she’s back in town for holidays.
So many guys would DIE to be on the receiving end of those lips
Anyway, I was in KL last weekend and we agreed to meet at Sunway Pyramid. Cheesie and I waited day and night for her to show up after she got lost in the carpark, of all places.
First thing she said when she saw me?
“KENNY! I wanna see what you look like with long hair!”
With that, Jasiminne suddenly ran to my back and draped her long hair over my shoulders.
This is the end result.
Silly Penguin. Still crazy as always.
The Worst Christmas Tree Ever
This holiday season, everyone is trying their best to put on the most impressive Christmas decorations.
There’s Christmas trees in shopping malls.
Christmas trees on the streets.
Even Christmas trees as cupcakes in bake shops.
But this “Christmas tree” I saw outside the Pavilion KL has gotta win the award for Worst Christmas Tree ever.
Waddya mean it does not look like a Christmas tree? It IS a Christmas tree.
Look, there’s even Chritmas presents wrapped nicely underneath it.
Bricks for Christmas, anyone?
Just foolin’. 😉 I just need an excuse to post something to wish you guys all a Merry Christmas.