Barack Hussein Obama

Tomorrow, the world will witness ‘change’ as Barack Obama starts his first day of work as the President of the United States.

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And I just found out today also that the Defence Minister of Israel, aka the man responsible for the war in Gaza and the most hated man in the Arab realm right now, is a guy named Ehud Barak.

As if having “Hussein” and something that sounds like “Osama” in the name wasn’t bad enough for his image, somebody had to ruin “Barack” for him as well. Suddenly, the President of the United States share similar names with the evil Ehud Barak, Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.

With a name like Barack Hussein Obama, everyone would’ve expected him to look like this.

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But the future President of the USA was recently photographed looking more like this.

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Holy cow! A world leader with a six-pack abs!

Can we have that too, Mr Najib?

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Singapore Engrish

I noticed on my most recent trip to Singapore that there seems to be a lot of mainland Chinese on that little island state lately.

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Nothing against them of course. But I do find it fascinating that so many of them mainland Chinese can be found at virtually all levels of society in Singapore: in coffeeshops taking orders for your drinks, in universities studying for their exams, or even in a luxury condo after marrying some rich Singaporean tycoon.

Like what Chinese-turned-Singaporean actress Gong Li did.

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It is very different from the situation here Kuching, where the only place you can find Chinese nationals, is in a foot reflexology!

Having so many of them living and working in Singapore also brought about some… unintended side-effects.

I went to an authentic Chinese restaurant the other day hoping to sample some authentic Si Chuan dishes. What I found there instead, was something much more exciting.

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Behold, a Singapore Chinese restaurant menu… in Chinese and Engrish!

Who would’ve thought you could find Engrish in post Speak Good English Campaign Singapore?

Apparently, you can. Over in this PRC-operated restaurant, you can sample such famous dishes as:

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Woh Tie.

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Char Siew Pau.

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Western lettuce. Runs on petrol!

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Sourced from monolithic cow.

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Sometimes, their menu even doubles as a weather report.

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Eat your ma’s tofu!

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Someone call the fire brigade!

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Oi! Don’t rape the onions! They will cry.

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It is not offence in Singapore to have sex with vegetables.

They’ll tie the mushroom down on a bed, collect S$7.80 from you, then let you perform various sexual acts the mushroom.

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The diced chicken community is not happy.

Then there’s my personal favourite.

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They take a joss stick, stick it up the cow’s ass, and call it “Joss Stick Porn.”

All together now… WTF?!

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ADV: If I Had An Absolute Extreme Life

I would be a Viet Cong soldier.

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At least that was the impression I get after watching a Vietnam War propaganda video during my visit to Cu Chi, a war site located near Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam.

The black-and-white video, filmed just after the war, nearly had me convinced that I should learn to be like that valiant 12-year-old peasant girl who fought for her country, killed 118 "devil" Americans and was declared "American Killer Hero" (their words, not mine) by her communist government.

A couple of Americans in our tour group were flinching uncomfortably after watching the video. Clearly they’d think twice when approached by a deadly 12-year-old Vietnamese girl next time.

Of course, the Vietnam War has long past, the Cold War has warmed up, the animosity between the Vietnamese and Americans have long ceased, but this war between the Americans and the communists remained one of the most fascinating in history.

How is it possible that the Americans, with their superior war planes and technology, lost out to a bunch of communist Viet Congs who probably never handled a gun before their entire lives?

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The answer lies underground in Cu Chi, a Viet Cong village 90km away from the anti-communist stronghold of Saigon.

Cu Chi is pronounced "koo chi". Yes, the Hokkien word for "tickle" is also called "koo chi".

But these stealthy underground tunnels beneath Cu Chi ain’t no laughing matter!

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As the Americans bombed the surface with their napalm bombs and B-52s, hundreds of Viet Cong soldiers were secretly hiding underground, emerging only during night time to launch surprise attacks on their enemies.

They lived in there, sometimes up to months at a time. The tunnels were so well-equipped that there were even sleeping chambers, kitchens and hospitals for the Viet Cong soldiers.

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Of course, the Americans trained soldiers as their "tunnel rats" and attempted the infiltrate the tunnels.

But when they entered, they risked having their sorry faces smashed right into one of these.

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So successful were the Cu Chi Tunnels that eventually that Americans retreated.

Ho Chi Minh’s communist government took over Vietnam and ruled till today. Meanwhile, Cu Chi became a tourist site charging visitors USD6 + VND80,000 (or RM36 total) per entrance.

There’s a firing range at the Cu Chi Tunnels, where they let visitors try their hands on some real guns used by Viet Cong soldiers during the war. A round of ten bullets cost about USD10 (RM36).

It’s a little expensive, but these are real guns, using real bullets.

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Considering this was probably the only chance I’m gonna get, I simply could not pass up on the opportunity to fulfil one of my male fantasies.

After years of playing games like Counterstrike, I finally had the chance to fire the real version of my favourite weapon, the AK47.

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Videos games are fun, but nothing beats holding on to the real thing. I was imagining a terrorist leaping across in front of me as I pulled the trigger.

"Enemy sighted!"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

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"Counter-terrorist wins!"

Such a cool and satisfying experience. It was exactly like Counterstrike.

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But with much better graphics.

This one is a M60 machine gun. It had a much stronger recoil and damn, it was loud! Without the ear muffs on, the deafening ringing effect in my ears could last for a few seconds after each shot.

Imagine how the Viet Congs have to endure all these back in the days. No one wonder so many of them went crazy.

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After having our fun at the firing range, we had the chance to explore a section of the underground tunnel.

Getting into the hole was no problem for me – the tunnel had already been enlarged to accommodate much bigger (read: fatter) Western tourists.

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But crawling through the tunnel… now that’s definitely an experience.

The tunnel, even after enlarging was still extremely small. We spent 10 minutes wriggling and manoeuvring through a 100m section and already we’re sweating like pigs.

I shudder to think how it was even possible that the anyone could tolerate living underground during war time.

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The Viet Congs were living under absolute extreme conditions.

There may be a kitchen and a well, but there were definitely no shower or toilets in the tunnels. To top it off, air ventilation underground was dismal at best. The stench of 800 sweaty men must have been unbearable.

Next to deadly enemy fire, the main c
oncern for Viet Congs must’ve have been deadly body odour. Times like these, they gotta wish they had…

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Rexona Men Absolute Protection deodorant.

The latest most powerful deodorant from Rexona Men ever!

I mean, just check out its product description on the back.

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"New Rexona Men Absolute Protection with its new improved formula is designed to react within 1.8 seconds to release more than 1.4 million microcapsules of odor protection for any increase in body heat or adrenaline. Rexona Men Absolute Protection, the most advanced and powerful Rexona men deodorant ever! It won’t let you down."

Wow. Sounds extremely extreme.

I think they must have left out the part where it says it will MAKE YOU FLY THROUGH THE AIR AND SHOOT MISSLES OUT FROM YOUR NOSE.

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No doubt, the deodorant smells pretty good.  

Some say they love the smell of napalm in the morning.

But surely, "napalm in the morning" cannot possibly smell better than my fresh and dry armpits.

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This, smells like… victory!

P/S. Join the Rexona Absolute Extreme blog contest. There aren’t many entries received yet, so the chances of winning are very high.

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SUPPORT THE PALESTINIANS. BOYCOTT AMERICAN PRODUCTS!

Ladies and gentlemen!
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kennysia.com hereby express its disgust towards the United States of America for their support of Israel’s invasion into Gaza! The Middle East may be located far away from us, but that does not mean there is nothing we could do!
We urge all readers to heed the call by Dr Mahathir and the two MCAs (both the Malaysian Chinese Association and the Muslim Consumer Assocation) to show our support for the Palestinians by doing your part as follows!
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Stop using the US dollar!
Using the US dollar will only keep their economy strong. If the Americans are rich, they will for the Zionist invaders to kill Palestinian babies!
We must also boycott all American companies and American products!
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Boycott Coca-Cola!
You won’t die if you don’t drink Coca-Cola!
But if you drink Coca-Cola, Palestinians die!
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Boycott KFC, McDonald’s, Starbucks!
Colonel Sanders trained the Israeli armies! And Ronald McDonald is Jewish! I think.
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Boycott Hollywood!
Next time you go to the cinema, don’t watch American movies like Twilight, Yes Man and The Spirit!
Watch Cicak-man 2: Planet Hitam!
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Boycott Pinkpau, Suet Li and Dawn Yang!
All three of them are students studying overseas in American universities! Therefore these three are contributing money directly into the pockets of Americans! Money that are used to buy guns and bombs to kill Palestinian babies! Pinkpau, Suet Li and Dawn Yang are indirectly Zionist supporters and Palestinian haters!
Boycott Xiaxue too! Her boyfriend is American.
Don’t boycott kennysia.com! This blog may be hosted by a US server, but I tried to pay them in Malaysian Ringgit and they won’t accept it!
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Boycott Google, Youtube and Facebook!
Do you know? Every time you are poking someone on Facebook, you are indirectly poking a knife into the hearts of the Palestinians!
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Boycott Microsoft and Apple!
Need I say more? If you are using Windows, shut it down NOW!
Oh shit, that means I h

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Ponggol Nasi Lemak Centre Review

I fly to Singapore quite regularly.

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There are normally two types of places I stay at everytime I head down there.

If I’m lucky, then some benevolent company inviting me to attend their function in Singapore would pay for my stay in some spanking 5-star hotel so freaking expensive, it would’ve cost the equivalent of my left testicle.

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But if I’m not-so-lucky, then I would’ve to pay for my own accommodation in Singapore. And I usually stay at One Florence Close in Kovan where it’s cheap and clean.

Right across from where I stay is a kopitiam with a red sign board called "Punggol Nasi Lemak Centre".

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Don’t be fooled  by the word "centre" in it’s name though.

When I saw the name, I half-expected it to be something big, like a medical centre, shopping centre or a err… health centre. But really, Punggol Nasi Lemak Centre is just a glorified name for a nasi lemak stall from Punggol.

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Despite passing by the place so often, I never really ate there because hey, I live in Malaysia, and nasi lemak is quintessentially a Malay dish. How could a stall operated by a Chinese selling nasi lemak in Singapore possibly taste any better, right?

That would be like going to Japan and saying Sushi King makes better sushi.

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What eventually changed my mind was when I came back from clubbing one evening, and noticed this a huge stretch of queue extending from the stall all the way out to the road.

From my experience, I know that Singaporeans only queue for three things:
1. Louis Vuitton.
2. Hello Kitty.
3. Something really really good.

Given the absence of an overpriced monogram handbag or a cat with no mouth, I think it is safe to assume that Punggol Nasi Lemak falls under to Category 3. Something really really good.

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And it was damn good alright. In fact, it was possibly one of the best I’ve had.

Unlike in Malaysia where our nasi lemaks are pre-packaged at RM1 each wrapped in old newspaper, at Ponggol Nasi Lemak, they do it Nasi Kandar-style.

That means you have to go up to the counter and tell them which side-dishes you want to go along with your rice.

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There’s a wide variety of choices: ikan bilis, fried chicken, tempura prawns, sotong balls, long beans, otah, acar, peanuts, fried egg, curried vegies, etc just to name a few.

After you’ve made your selection, they’ll then slather on a slab of sambal and put two slices of cucumber on your plate. But if they like you, then sometimes they’ll put three slices of cucumber. Like me!

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This is what I’ve chosen to go with my dish.

Clockwise from that delicious piece of fried chicken wing, there’s the ikan bilis with peanuts, sambal, two sotong balls, fried wanton, cucumber, sambal lady’s finger, acar and a beautiful piece of fried egg right in the middle. All together, they cost close to SGD$8 (RM20), which is freaking pricey for a nasi lemak. But damn, it was well worth it.

If you’re not sure which to choose, you can’t go wrong with the fried chicken wing and acar. Those two go exceptionally well with the fragrant rice and sambal.

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As a testament to how good Ponggol Nasi Lemak is, they even have to put up this notice in the newspapers.

Apparently, some competitors have been copying their namesake to fool customers into thinking that they’re the same company.

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Nowadays, even nasi lemak also got pirated one.

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kennysia.com Is Four Years Old

For years, I have been using w.bloggar to update my blog offline. It’s raw text HTML style coding with a clunky image upload tool. Nothing fancy, but it gets the job done.
And then, I discovered Windows Live Writer, which completely blew me away with how easy it is to put together a blog post. The enhancing and watermarking of the photos, which normally took the longest time, now take nothing more than just a few clicks.

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kennysia.com Is Closed

Update: kennysia.com has finished renovations.
Welcome to the new look kennysia.com!
————————
kennysia.com is closed.

…for renovations. 😉
It should be back up later today.
Meanwhile, please entertain yourself with the wacky bunch of people on kennysia.com Chatbox.

Goodbye 2008

Goodbye 2008. You suck.

As much as I am appreciative of all the wonderful experiences, rare opportunities and fantastic people I’ve met this year, I cannot help but to feel that at times life has been throwing me dilemmas after dilemmas as if to test my patience.
I hadn’t been in such a low state of mind since my father’s passing. That one hit me hard. This one comes pretty close.
I don’t wanna come across as “emo”, because the last thing I want from others is sympathy.

Depression hit me pretty hard several times throughout this year. It is difficult to stay upbeat amidst the demands, the expectations, the threats, the slander, the misconception, the accusations and the general lack of trust I perceived from other people and from myself.
Was I selfish? Or did I care too much for the wrong people? I don’t know. Seems like such an incredibly thin line separating the two.
So many times I felt totally hopeless when it comes to decisions I made with my career, my friends, my relationship. So many times I felt I was put into situations where it’s die die both ways.
Guess this must be what they call the quarter-life crisis.

At least I am doing well on the money side of things.
Despite losing a lot when the financial crisis hit, I saved enough throughout the year to finally be able to build a decent investment portfolio for myself. This is in stark contrast to two years ago when I had the bad habit of spending almost every cent of my salary. I have also learnt a lot about how to run a business, and with those skills I hope to start something of my own in the coming year.

For my new year’s resolution, I wanna:
1. Start a new business.
2. Run a marathon in less than 6 hours.
3. Double my investment portfolio.
4. Get less addicted to e-mails and Facebook.
5. Be happier.

Before the final few hours of 2008 melts away, I just have to say:
To all my true friends who stood by me especially when I needed you the most – thank you.
To all my business associates and acquaintances – for the precious opportunity to work with you, I thank you.
To all my readers whom I’d never met, yet came up to me to say hi, to shake my hand or asked to take photos – I am most humbled and appreciative.
To all the people in my life whose feelings I may have hurt, whose expectations I may not have lived up to, whose promises I may have broken – I am truly very sorry.
To all my haters, fuck you.

Happy new year, people. Hope your 2008 was less crappier than mine.

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Dave’s Pizza Pasta Vino 1Utama Review

(Disclosure: I was commissioned for this write-up, but I paid for the food myself and the following are my honest and independently written review of their menu.)
In the interest of helping Malaysia curb the obesity epidemic, this will be the final food review I’m doing for Emmanuel Stroobant’s Christmas menu.

Dave’s Pizza Pasta Vino is one of the hidden treasures of 1Utama. So hidden in fact that despite going to 1Utama so often, I never even knew it existed.
1Utama to me has always been just The New Wing. I searched high and low for this restaurant, only to realise that it is actually located at The Old Wing, on the ground floor right opposite Burger King and TGI Friday’s.

The restaurant didn’t impress me at first.
Upon entering, I was immediately reminded of other similar informal Italian restaurants like Chili’s or Italiannies. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But the dimmed lights, cluttered walls, and comfy cushions just seems a bit too common place.
There’s a decent crowd of regulars at the restaurant, but it wasn’t exactly packed too brim. The ambience was still casual and comfortable.
So comfortable in fact, that they even provided us with a baby pillow.

Maybe some kid accidentally left behind her pillow also. I dunno.
In any case, I sat on it too long and so err… it kinda smells like my butt now.
Unlike Chili’s or Italiannies though, the food at Dave’s is very non-halal, which means pig lovers can go hog wild at all the porky galore goodness.

“Welcome! Eat me!”

From a business standpoint, it seems quite silly at first that Dave’s would wanna make their restaurant non-halal. It’s a huge revenue sacrifice when you alienate about 60% of the Malaysian population. Why the heck would anyone wanna do that?
But as soon as I sunk my teeth into the pan-fried pork belly shaving (RM18), immediately I understood why Dave’s decided to go against convention and squeal OINK!

Damn. That was one downright sinfully delicious pork belly!
This is one dish you really gotta try to believe! The texture is great and the aroma even better. The crispy bacon soaked in dripping oil is so tasty that it completely blew me away.

Just as awesome were the button mushrooms stuffed with bacon, cream and mozzarella cheese (RM18.50).
As a true meatlover, I wasn’t expecting much out of this predominantly vegie dish. But as soon as I put it in my mouth, my eyes immediately lit up.

What a fantastic delight. Words do not do justice the orgasmic delight when the overflowing juices of the stuffed mushrooms bukkaked and filled up inside your mouth. These are the best mushrooms I’ve ever had in years!
Two entrees and already we were impressed.
We can’t go to a restaurant with “Pizza” in its name without at least sampling their pizzas, so we got a large pork salami pizza (RM38) to share.

I know this is starting to get old, but…
This pizza kicked ass.
This pizza kicked Pizza Hut’s ass. Multiple times over.
This pizza kicked Pizza Hut’s ass so bad, the customers eating at Pizza Hut could taste Dave’s foot on their pizza toppings.

In short, this pizza totally kicked ass.
What I like the most about the pizza is the taste of slightly-burnt cheese on the crispy crust outside. Very yummy! Other than the restaurants in 5-star hotels, not too often have I seen gourmet pizzas done to that perfection.
The only thing I hate about the salami pizza is the ba jiao (star anise, I think) they added to the pizza topping. Who the heck put ba jiao on pizzas man? Please, leave that foul-tasting herb in bakuteh, and not on my pizzas.

Three hits in a row and we wondered when Dave’s would go wrong. Unfortunately, they did with the chicken parmegiana (RM40).
There was chicken, cheese and mashed potatoes, but ultimately there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was the only dish we didn’t actually finish.

The mixed seafood platter (RM41) we had was above average though. For RM41, we got an assortment of prawns, mussels, fish, calamari and clams all baked with cheese and served over truffle sauce.
Quite a sweet deal for indecisive people like us who can’t make up their mind.

But the best deal in the house has gotta be the Guinness lamb shank (RM41).
For RM41, I got a humungous portion of a lamb shank and, like every other main course item on the Guinness Christmas menu, comes a free pint of Guinness Draught on the house.
The beer costs about RM20 at Dave’s, so essentially I’m only paying 21 bucks the lamb shank.

Nowhere in KL, Kuching or some say Batam can you get a lamb shank at a restaurant for just 21 bucks.
And it’s pretty good lamb shank too!
The Guinness tenderized the meat so well it falls off the bone and melts in my mouth. When accompanied with mashed potato on sweet stout-enhanced gravy, the end result was a lamb shank so flavoursome I can’t wait to wash down with a pint of cold black beer. It was such a satisfying dish.

The aftermath of the lamb shank

One thing I must also commend on was the service at Dave’s. It was most definitely a good 4 and half out of 5 stars.
Service was prompt without being hectic, friendly without being pushy, attentive without being annoying. If you ask the waiters any basic question, they know their stuff. The best part is that it’s easy to get their attention because they are always nearby.
It was very unlike my experience in other restaurants, where the waiters always seems too busy talking to each other, or too lazy to move around as if they were acting in a movie called “The Day The Waiters Stood Still.”

My collection of miniature Guinness pint glasses

I know I sound like some fanboy raving through this review, but there is no false advertising here! If you like places like Chili’s, TGI Friday’s or Italiannies, you’ll love Dave’s at 1Utama. The food is good and the prices even better.
The only false advertising you’re gonna get is in their Kid’s Menu.

Nemo as Fish & Chips? Damn, that’s cruel!

Seriously though, I say the Guinness Christmas menu promotion is one of those things too good to miss out own. It only runs till 31st December and only at selected outlets around Klang Valley. They are really worth trying. If you’re wary, I have already given my verdict on which dish to order and which ones to avoid at Delaney’s, Jarrod & Rawlins @ Ampwalk Mall, Michelangelo’s @ Solaris and Dave’s. KY have also written reviews for Cafe Chulo, Ronnie Q, Gypsy Wine & Bar, SevenAteNine and The Magnificent Fish & Chips.

Kenny Sia after eating at Dave’s

Anyway opportunities like these don’t come very often, where you get to sample dishes created by a celebrity chef at prices so reasonable, especially when you take into account the free beer they throw in with every main course. 🙂

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