Spotted on the walls of a public toilet in Kuching.
The Kuching government recognised that Kuching people cannot shit and piss properly. That is why they’ve put up these posters all over the public toilets teaching us how to pangsai and pangjio like a true Kuchingnite.
Unfortunately there aren’t any captions accompanying those pics. Being a good Kuching citizen that I am, I decided to do my part in promoting good Kuching toilet etiquette.
Stand closer to the urinal
Because you’re supposed to piss INTO the urinal. Seriously, don’t overestimate the length of your penis. It is not as long as you think, alright? Who do you think you are? Kenny Sia?
Do not squat over the toilet bowl
Dude, the toilet seat is built like a chair for a reason. Don’t dirty the seat by squating over it. As a rule of thumb, you’re supposed to SIT ON IT in order to SHIT ON IT.
Greet your toilet bowl
It ain’t easy getting shit and piss thrown at you your entire life, man. Being a toilet bowl is literally a shitty job. So at least show some respect to your toilet bowl. Before you use it, give him a good pat on bacl and say hello to him. Trust me, your toilet bowl will appreciate it.
Conduct your business
Sit on your throne and quietly listen to the sweet melody of shit falling into the water.
*toom*
*toooom*
*tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom*
Forget Cafe del Mar. This is chillout music at its best.
Entertain your toilet bowl
Your toilet bowl must be traumatised looking at hundreds of naked hairy ass each day. Be nice now. Spend some time entertaining your toilet bowl. Play with him, tickle him, do anything you can to make him happy dammit.
Praise your toilet bowl
Before you leave, say a few words of encouragement to your toilet bowl. “Good job!”, “World piss!”, “Bye, I’ll shit you tomorrow!”… whatever. It’ll overcome the loneliness experienced by that poor little fella when no one else visits him.
Wash your hands
Remember to wash your hands, boys and girls. You don’t want no brown stains in your fingernails when you eat at KFC. Gives a whole new meaning to Finger Lickin’ Good.
Toilets have feelings too. Remember that next time you use public toilets in Kuching.
This is a community message brought to you courtesy of kennysia.com. 🙂
– Someone Ericka called me a Pink Idiot. That’s the most insulting thing I was ever called in my entire life. 😉
– My friends David Neo and Ah Yang roped me in to do the Detox Diet with them for the next 3 days. Will post an update on my experience tomorrow night.
– This entry was written in a half-intoxicated state, thanks to my trip to MC3 @ Travillion two nights in a row. Apologies in advance if you don’t understand what it is I’m writing here. Truth is, I don’t know what the fuck I’m writing either.