Now here’s a plug for a great online show that I reckon everyone should watch.

It’s called MalaysianTalents.com and it’s a “mockumentary” of a talent agency called… (what else) MalaysianTalents.com
MalaysianTalents.com was originally a website of an online talent agency where actors, models, singers, etc post their profiles online so companies looking to hire their services can contact them. In MalaysianTalents.com “the show”, Douglas Lim plays himself as the real-life eccentric head honcho of the agency who is so delusional he thinks he’s better than everyone else.

You may remember Douglas Lim from such Malaysian English sitcom as Kopitiam.
The fun starts when well-known Malaysian personalities like Elaine Daly, Gavin Yap and Tony Eusoff dropped by his agency to submit their portfolios. That’s when Douglas works his magic, exaggerating his own skillz , getting on people’s nerves and giving advice to people who are clearly more experienced than he is.
It’s can be difficult to describe what the show is really about, but you really gotta watch the show to appreciate the humour. I got to preview the first three episodes of MalaysianTalents.com and already I’m hooked.

No, the lady on the left was not having her period. That’s just Davina Goh being Davina Goh.

This is Gua.com.my‘s second exclusive online series after the successful launch of Kerana Karina last year, which received close to 834,000 views! Who would’ve thought Malaysians can be so receptive to online TV shows?
In total there are 20 episodes for MalaysianTalents.com and each episode is only 4 minutes short, so it’s bite-sized entertainment.
The humour is subtle but the lines Douglas delivered as the sarcastic and obnoxious CEO are absolutely brilliant. I like the part where Elaine Daly told him she won Miss Malaysia and he replied “But beauty is not a talent now, IS IT?”

Kuching boy Tony Eusoff drops by

What kept it interesting is that each episode they will get a different celeb to come in and “submit their portfolio”. These are all people we’re very familiar with in the local arts and entertainment circles, and some could even be friends of yours or mine. The best thing about MalaysianTalents.com is that it’s unmistakenably “Malaysian”, and that is why I enjoy it so much.

“We use a dark background to contrast with your skin colour ‘cos you’re kinda pale.” (Gavin Yap is Eurasian)

MalaysianTalents.com is now showing exclusively on Gua.com.my. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday and Thursday, and you can watch them online anytime you want for FREE.

You could even watch it on a 3G phone. Just make a video call to *32223 for Gua Mobile, and the show will pop up on your phone like magic. For now, it’s only available to Maxis customers for a cheap 30c per minute.

Go on and check it out. ‘Cos if you like what I like then you’ll like it.

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The blogosphere is a funny place.

The true definition of the word “wasted”

Normally, we are a bunch of civil and peaceful people. But every once in a while, something controversial yet so absurd happens that it deserves a place in the proverbial history books.
Jeff Ooi’s legal battle against the New Straits Times was one. Dawn Yang‘s alleged case of cosmetic surgery was another.

A few days ago, another one of such ridiculous blog-related incident took place. It was such a big thing that I received no less than six messages asking if I knew about this.
It all happened when I received an e-mail from a guy claiming to be a “pro-blogger”. This “pro-blogger” is about to tie the knot and marry his wife, and he sent me a mass-circulated e-mail that goes something like this:

My first reaction when I got that e-mail was “What the hell?”
My second reaction after I got that e-mail was “Bloody spam.”
My third reaction was to click delete, and off to the depths of Gmail’s trash can it went.
And the drama ended. Or so I thought.

The day after that, Blackjetta YC blogged about how she received a similar mail from the same “problogger”.
Now, this “pro-blogger” wanted to get married, and he wanted YC to sponsor him customised wedding invitation cards in exchange of publicity for her freelance card-making business.
A novel concept? Yes. And one that COULD HAVE worked if it weren’t for two things:
1. Nobody knows who the hell this “problogger” is.
2. The way he mass-circulated e-mails and asked for favours like he deserves it.

Seriously, if you were in the wedding business and you get a mass-circulated e-mail sent to you like that, what would your reaction be?
Wedding car? Diamond ring!? MORE WEDDING FAVOURS!?
SERIOUSLY!
Names are censored to protect the couple’s identity. I mean, I would’ve at least told you who the groom is. But I don’t think Colbert would like it very much.

At this point, I’d like to say that I despise the use of the word “pro-blogger”.
Everyone can be a blogger, but to call yourself a “professional blogger” implies that you are better than everyone else. The term just smacks full of arrogance. I may be earning ad dollars from my blog, but I would NEVER call myself a “pro-blogger”.
In Malaysia, “pro-bloggers” are typically those who have blogs set up with the SOLE PURPOSE of earning revenue through American-based ad agencies.
You go their site, and 70% of their page is covered in ads. Then you read the remaining 30% of their content and wtf all of them are freaking advertorials written with no heart and soul. Not only that, those ads are not even RELEVANT in the Malaysian context.
If you fall into that category, sorry but you cannot call yourself a “professional blogger”. You can only call yourself a “spam blogger”.

My reaction to the whole situation

Not surprisingly after the whole fiasco, Colbert cancelled his plans to have a sponsored wedding citing “time-constraints”. I think that’s the right thing to do, and I extend my sincere congratulations to the couple.
But come to think of it, can you imagine what his wedding would be like if he actually went through with it?

What next? Probloggerbabies.com?

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This one is too good to pass up.

Found out that Twisties Chipster is holding this online contest. They give you a background picture, and you super-impose a photo of you holding a pack of their Chipster onto it using their online tool. It’s real simple. They even have special prizes reserved for bloggers. Wackiest photo wins.
One of the background choices is a picture of a great white shark swimming in the ocean with its jaws wide open. As soon as I saw that picture, I knew straight away that this contest was made for me.
Against my better judgment, I went home, dug out my snorkelling gear and took this photo.


Behold, my contest submission.

Heck, even if I don’t win first prize in this contest, maybe I could at least get an award for looking like The Biggest Idiot On Planet Earth?.

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My mom walked into my room one day and threw a copy of the newspaper onto my table.

“KENNY! Explain to me what this is all about. Why are all these bloggers getting arrested?! Even the Prime Minister also come out and give warning to bloggers! You better be careful what you write on your blog ah!”
Bloggers have been appearing in the newspaper left right and centre lately. Not necessarily for good reasons.

Earlier this year, Jeff Ooi and Rocky were both served a lawsuit, allegedly for defaming the New Starts Times and its editors. (they did not)
Two months ago, Nathaniel Tan was remanded by the police for questioning over a comment on his blog which supposedly had violated the Official Secrets Act. (it did not)
And just a few weeks ago, even relatives of the royal family Raja Petra Kamarudin and his wife were taken in by the police for questioning after a complaint filed by a certain ruling political party, alleging that contents he wrote on his blog were insulting religion and the Agung of Malaysia (they were not).

In the days that followed, countless warnings and name-callings were issued by government officials against Malaysian bloggers.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little perturbed.
Reading their statements on newspapers was like witnessing a modern day witch hunt. As if the officials were out to condemn bloggers as scums of the Earth on par with mass murderers and child rapists. They were not holding anything back.

What’s the big idea?
The most obvious thing these four bloggers all have in common is that they are all considered socio-political bloggers. Unlike Kenny Sia, these guys don’t write about how the logo of some bank resemble a penis, or how some metallic bird in Kuching was equipped flashing neon lights.
These guys write the serious stuff.
Which is why as much as there are different theories thrown around about the sudden wave of condemnation against bloggers, the most logical assumption is this simple fact – ELECTIONS ARE COMING.

Let’s face it. By far, a huge majority of socio-political bloggers on the Internet are outspoken and passionate activists. History has also shown that the more well-informed, internet-connected urban voters tend to sway towards the Opposition’s side.
Case in point, the Singapore Elections and the Sarawak Elections in the 2006. In both cases, the ruling political party suffered major loss on an almost unprecedented scale. In both cases, socio-political bloggers were seen as the driving force behind the political climate change.
The ruling party in Malaysia has every reason to be afraid of bloggers in this day and age of new media. For all the actions and intimidation taken against these bloggers, I must say I am not surprised.

Perhaps the officials have another reason to be even MORE afraid when Jeff Ooi announced recently that he is crossing over into politics. He will be contesting in the next General Elections as part of the Opposition.
This is big news. In fact, this is HUGE news.
This is the first time in Malaysian history that a popular blogger will be competing in an election. This is the first time a socio-political blogger might actually end up becoming a member of the Malaysian parliament.
Instead of going to jeffooi.com, we might have to go to yangberhormatjeffooi.com

Heck, a blogger might even become Prime Minister of Malaysia.
Sure it’s a long shot. But why not, right?
Malaysia is not run by communists. Malaysia is a democratic country and in truly democratic nations, any citizen could theoretically be elected as the head of government. So what if Jeff is Chinese? Race shouldn’t be a limiting factor in democratic nations.

Although it is likely that the Malaysian blogging community will be happy to cast a vote for one of our own, the problem with Jeff is that his blog appeals mostly to blog readers of the older age group, which is unfortunately very small.
Blog readers are predominantly younger. Only a small number of young blog readers of voting age know of Jeff, let alone vote for him in the upcoming elections.
Adding to that is the cold hard truth that most young voters are more interested in the latest hit single by Avril Lavigne than who to vote for in the upcoming elections. A lot of work needs to be done if Jeff wanna attract younger votes.

Now, this is just a suggestion. But if Jeff wants to run a campaign to woo younger voters in the upcoming elections, I think I might have a solution for it.
Behold, my ‘suggested’ campaign video for Jeff Ooi’s upcoming parliamentary election.

Sure, it’s a little rough around the edges. Hey, I’m not Namewee. What matters is that it comes from the heart.
If this doesn’t make Jeff Ooi the next Prime Minister of Malaysia, I don’t know what will.

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A lot of people don’t know this.

But after that episode he had with Xiaxue over being named the most disgusting blogger in Singapore, Steven Lim landed himself in a secret CD recording deal.
I had some major strings to pull in Singapore, but my effort paid off in the end.
For the first time in history, kennysia.com brings to you, this exclusive LEAKED song from Steven Lim’s brand new CD album.

Click here to download MP3

Don’t say you didn’t see it coming.

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This one is surely going down as the best “pwn-ed” moment in Malaysian blogging history.

Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of meeting up with a blogger from KL going by the moniker Icy. I was making my trip to Penang, and she e-mailed me one day asking if she could bunk in my hotel room to share costs.
Putting aside my fear of sharing a room with possibly a psycho stranger, I agreed. Because seriously, how dangerous could someone with a nickname like “Icy” be? If it were some dude called “FieryKingMonster” who e-mailed me, I would’ve run far far away.

Anyway, the trip went pretty well for me and I blogged about travelling with her in this entry here.
However, things didn’t quite go so well for her.
Shortly after I published my blog entry, that girl began to experienced what she termed “The Kenny Sia Effect”.

No, she didn’t transform into an 80kg hairy man with dracula teeth.
But her blog traffic (and ego) did swell to ten times more than normal. That sudden surge in traffic was nice, but the last thing the girl expected after I linked to her was to receive hate mail.
And man, she received some really nasty hate mails. The language in those hate mails were so foul, they made Xiaxue sound like an etiquette teacher.

From: F*CK KENNYSIA <kennysiap*kimakcib*i@gmail.com>
Date: Jun 26, 2007 6:51 AM
Subject: CIB*I SLUT I F*CK U
To: icyqueengoddess@gmail.com
F*CK YOU CIB*I SIAO CHA BO come to penang with si beh tulan kennysia macib*i f*cker u think u so good kennysia only cheong with slut only so u itchy open legs for him to f*ck ur puki if ur cib*i so itchy come everybody take dick f*ck ur cib*i kennysia f*ck we all f*ck also

6 minutes later, another e-mail.

From: F*CK KENNYSIA <kennysiap*kimakcib*i@gmail.com>
Date: Jun 26, 2007 6:57 AM
Subject: CIB*I SLUT I F*CK U
To: icyqueengoddess@gmail.com
kan ni neh i know ur secret every nite u let hamsup kennysia into your cib*i hole he f*ck ur cib*i u think very nice stay in hotel with him sure he touch ur tetek until ur puki wet what he do to u his lanci*o very small only u let me f*ck u sure better

What the! Leave my lanci*o out of this, ok!?
It is innocent ok. It ain’t small, but it is humungous, ok?!
18 minutes later, another e-mail.

From: F*CK KENNYSIA <kennysiap*kimakcib*i@gmail.com>
Date: Jun 26, 2007 7:15 AM
Subject: CIB*I SLUT I F*CK U
To: icyqueengoddess@gmail.com
kenny sia f*ck ur puki i also want f*ck ur puki hard hard until blood come out

Somehow I get the feeling that this e-mail sender is a big fan of Shanghai Bank’s toy mascot in Taiwan.

From: F*CK KENNYSIA <kennysiap*kimakcib*i@gmail.com>
Date: Jun 26, 2007 7:23 AM
Subject: CIB*I SLUT I F*CK U
To: icyqueengoddess@gmail.com
cib*i slut i wan f*ck u like kenny sia i find u at ur ofis with my frens we all f*ck you u scream n cry also no use we wun stop we make u wish u never born haha u think u so good until kenny f*ck u we f*ck u better then kenny F*CK U UNTIL DIE HA HA HA

Ok, I don’t know what this moron was rambling on because all we did was share a hotel room but sleeping on separate beds.
Suffice to say, everytime I get e-mails or comments like that, the most logical thing to do is chuck them aside and classify them as rubbish-written-by-people-who-have-no-better-things-to-do.
I know because I have been using the Internet for more than half my life. Empty online threats are so bloody common, they are about as scary as my 2-year-old niece on the loose.

Scary or not?

Icy is not stupid either.
Being the smart intelligent woman that I’m sure she is, of course she did the only sane and sensible thing there was to do – SHE FREAKED OUT BIG TIME FAST FAST GO LOCK UP HER GATES, HER WINDOWS AND HID IN A CORNER SHIVERING AND CRYING TO HER BOSS ON THE PHONE FOR HELP.
Yes, our heroine actually got so terrified because of a stupid anonymous online threat.

This is Icy. Terrified.

Ok fine lah. To her credit, there is a perfect reason why KiasiIcy was so paranoid over those empty e-mail threats.
A few months back, Icy was nearly abducted by a suspicious man after walking out from the front of her house. Lucky for her, she managed to struggle and free herself from the assailant, but that incident had traumatised her so much she is constantly worried about her safety.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, after making some phone calls our freaked-out heroine decided to file a police report.
Say what you want about our police force and our sucky internet service. As soon as the police in KL received the report, they gave TMnet a call, traced the IP address to a house in Georgetown, contacted the police in Penang, went to his house and guess what?

THEY ARRESTED THE BUGGER!
Not surprisingly, just like every other online flamers out there, those jokers were some pre-pubescent college kids thinking about sex all the time, thinking it was funny to hurl insults at bloggers, thinking they were invincible hiding behind the cloak of anonymity of the Internet.
I bet THE LAST THING on their mind was the police barging down their front doors over some stupid e-mail pranks they sent out “for fun”?
Those idiots must be pissing in their pants when that happened!

Anyway, Icy decided not to press charges after receiving a two-page apology and a RM100 cheque from him.
As for me, I have only one word to say to this supposed “anonymous” online flamer.
PWN-ED! 😉

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In what must be a gross administrative error, Yahoo! Answers Malaysia has classified me as a ‘celebrity’ and featured kennysia.com this week’s “Celebrity Question Asker” alongside actual real celebrities like Daphne Iking and Amber Chia.

I don’t know since when I was promoted to “celebrity” status, but I bet Amber Chia must be pretty fuming right now, sitting at home tapping her fingers furiously asking “What?! I am being put on the same level with THIS IDIOT?”
In fact, I think Amber Chia is gonna be so angry she’s gonna put her head on the floor, turn herself upside down and spin around on her head like in the movie Possessed.

Anyway, the question I posed to the public this week is “Bloggers as role models – to what extent do bloggers have a social responsibility to their audience?”
I’m not asking this question on behalf of myself, but I think everyone who has a blog will face this big bad dilemma at some stage.

One of my favourite bloggers, Kurt Low, was in a similar situation a while ago.
Kurt serves as a vocalist for his church ensemble. Automatically that makes him a role model little bible-toting kids should look up to. Like mine, Kurt’s blog has always been about his own personal thoughts, rantings and lewd jokes typical of any 20+ year old hormonally-charged male. I enjoy reading his blog. And I’m sure he’s nicer in real life.
But when Kurt posted one too many photo of Sayaka Ando in bikini and reference to the human reproductive organs, his CHURCH PASTOR called him up to express “concern over contents”.

While I don’t serve for any religious establishments, some teachers told me they have recommended their students to read my blog. Heck, some mothers even told me they have been discussing my blog with their 16-year-old daughters.
What are they doing talking about my website? These are teengers you know. They should be talking about how Sanjaya getting voted off American Idol is the biggest crime of the decade. Not kennysia.com!

The biggest wake-up call was when Mix.fm promoted my site over the radio (thanks, guys) strangely describing it as “safe for kids” (no thanks, guys).
Yes, around 20% of my readers are teenagers and yes, I realise that some of them are subconsciously trying to emulate me. Like it or not, I have been pushed into the unenviable position of a “role model”. That is one BIG reason why I have toned down so much over the last two years.

While my new readers come in by the bucket loads, old-time readers lamented that I have gone “soft” and that I am “not as entertaining as before”.
I know, guys. I know.
Old readers may not enjoy kennysia.com as much as before, but how am I ever gonna forgive myself if some 15-year-old learnt how to be obnoxious after reading my unforgiving piece on FurongJiejie?


I thought the dirty jokes I made back then was funny, but how many mothers who have teenage daughters reading my blog would find it equally as hilarious?


I used to poke fun at myself all the time, but how the hell am I gonna explain to my boss when he sees this?

See my dilemma here?
We all know R-rated movies are infinitely more entertaining than G-rated movies. Sadly, unlike the movies, we cannot control which audience we want to read our blogs.
Don’t say “Oh, I don’t have that much readers so I can write anything I want.” Like it or not, ANYONE of you guys who owns a blog are gonna have to deal with possibility that your blog will be read by a teenager who might consider you as a role model, and in the process try to emulate you.
And if you know that, what will your conscience say?

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This entry is an advertorial. I make it no secret that I welcome limited amount of ads on my blog.

Advertising on blogs is nothing new. Since way before I started, local Malaysian bloggers have already figured out a way to optimise their page for cash.
Unfortunately for us, those advertisements are mostly in the form of Google Adsense, littered liberally all over their site and often at the expense of user-friendliness. These blogs relied heavily on traffic coming in from search engines, engaging in a practice known as Search Engine Optimization, because few readers would access their page directly.

It’s not to say their blogs are not interesting. They are, especially since most of them are have blog titles like “Funny Junk” or “Addicting Stuff”. But half the time, these bloggers’ inspiration and content are copied from elsewhere, carefully threading the line of splogs – which are spam blogs created SOLELY for the purpose of making money.
At first it was just a few, then more and more jumped on the bandwagon.

Example of a spam blog created by a Malaysian “blogger”

Before you know it, instead of reading good quality local content by Malaysian bloggers, you are reading about how to Make Your Penis Bigger or Consolidate Debts because those are keywords that generate the most cash in Google Adsense.
Worst of all, those ads aren’t even relevant to us Malaysians. Most of our readers are from Malaysia or Singapore. And if I’m living here in Malaysia, why the hell would I wanna waste my time finding out about a product or a service all the way in the United States?

I swear this isn’t as gay as it looks

The rise of these borderline splogs also gave way to the demise of petalingstreet.org – which was until 2 years ago the only online community where Malaysian bloggers get together. It’s a sad thing.
For a while, I thought no one is interested in writing a good blog for Malaysians anymore because it seems like everyone out there is trying to optimize search engines in order to make more money. Trust me, at one point in time, I felt the same way too.

Luckily, around about this time, local companies began to take note of blogs as a viable advertising tool. And why shouldn’t they be? Compared to advertising in traditional printed media, blogs are a lot cheaper, faster, and more effective too. Readers don’t have to go to the newstand and pay money to read blogs. Unlike in newspapers or magazines, advertisers don’t have to compete with the hundreds of other advertisers vying for space on printed media.
On top of that blog readers are mostly the youthful, literate and tech-savvy crowd – a demographic highly sought after by advertising agencies.

One by one, Malaysian companies began to embrace what I’d like to call “the word-of-mouth advertising of the new age”.
First Pixart, then Fare.net, then Crocs, LG, Nokia, Intel and so on. For once, these ads are actually relevant to Malaysians.
Finally, you can actually enjoy the products or services being advertised on Malaysian blogs!

However, that phenomenom in itself created another problem.
Up until recently, local advertising on blogs are largely the domain of bloggers with higher traffic on their site. In Malaysia, that’s namely Jeff Ooi and myself. There are still PLENTY of Malaysian bloggers out there whose audience size are smaller than ours, and yet they are being ignored by the local advertisers.
This is understandable. Most blogs are too small to attract any advertisers, and advertisers find it too much of a hassle to source them out one by one. They’d rather just deal with the “bigger” blogs and that’s it. All the other Malaysian bloggers are left out cold.
That’s where Nuffnang steps in.

Conceived by Timothy Tiah, he himself a blogger, Nuffnang‘s goal is to unite all Malaysian bloggers coming under its flag and matchmake them to relevant Malaysian companies.
Here’s how it works. You put up their code on your page, and Nuffnang will help you find advertisers. When there’s someone wanting to publish their ads on your page, you get paid. Once you accumulate more than RM100 in your account, they send you a cheque in the mail.

Everyone gets a piece of the action

In other words, you don’t have to be big, you don’t have to slut your blog out to Google Adsense, and yet you’ll still be able to make money with your blog, and you will still be able to provide relevant local content for your blog readers.
You happy. Your blog readers happy. Your advertisers happy. Nuffnang happy. Everyone happy.

See? Timothy so happy.

Relevance. That’s the keyword.
No longer do blog readers have to put up with irrelevant advertising on Malaysian blogs. Nuffnang claims it is Asia’s first blog advertising network, and I have no reason to doubt that at all.
Mark my words. If things go smoothly for them, Nuffnang could very well revolutionize not just the local Malaysian blogosphere, but the entire advertising industry as well. That’s exactly why I am throwing my support behind them. It is a service by Malaysian bloggers, for Malaysian bloggers.

Malaysia’s Nuffnang Vs American-based Ad Agencies

If you’re a local blogger and you don’t mind making a few ringgits on the side from your blog without sacrificing relevancy, go ahead and sign up with Nuffnang. You’ll get paid for your efforts and help a local startup company grow big in the process.
Heck, if you’re lucky you could even win an iPod nano.




To start, just click here.

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It’s amazing what people can come up with when there’s a contest with a big sum of money on the line.

A while back I wrote about this contest Maggi is running, asking fans to send in their homemade videos showing how much they love their instant noodles. I checked back the Maggi website today to look at some of the qualified entries and man, are Malaysians getting more and more creative or what.

Some of these amateur homemade videos are actually pretty good! You bet those executives at Maggi Headquarters must be sitting there, enjoying their instant noodles in a cup, wearing their suit and tie, getting a kick out of watching us common folks do foolish things just to win the RM5,000 grand prize.

First thing that caught my attention was this guy who sang a horrendous Cantonese song professing his love for Maggi Mee.

Then there’s this brilliant submission by a contestant who used computer animation to make a cat and mouse “talk” about the instant noodles.

But my most favourite video entry of all, has gotta be this D-grade horror flick spoof, titled “Toilet Ghost”.

A stroke of genius or a showcase of desperate people acting silly? These people love their food so much, it’s almost like they wanna marry a yellow cup of instant noodles and have kids with them.

Watch more at the Maggi website and laugh your backside off.

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