She’s grown up so much!

I love my baby niece.

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No updates because I’m doing too many things at the same time.

Be right back.

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Like a typical Malaysian, I submitted my income tax forms on the very last day of the deadline.

In total, I have to pay several hundred ringgit in taxes to LHDN, so now the government can use my money to build more SMART tunnels.
My income situation didn’t use to be that complicated, so prevously I got someone else to do it for me. This year is the first year I had to submit my tax declaration as a business owner. And I also took a shot at filling out my tax forms completely on my own.

It’s not easy, mind you. It’s almost like we’re expected have a degree in taxation to be able to fill out these tax forms.
As if it was not daunting enough that a first timer like me had to understand all the different tax laws, LHDN had to make my life more difficult by publishing the forms in BAHASA MALAYSIA.
Being new to this, I was obviously blown away by the various jargons and ended up as confused as a thirsty baby in a tittie bar.
Every few minutes, I have to stop and search for answers online.
It was during one of my searches that I suddenly stumbled upon this gem on Yahoo Answers.

That my friend, the BEST advice ever given.

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My eyes.

They are NOT staring at where you think I’m staring.
I’m innocent I swear.

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If you go the your local supermarket these days, you might notice something a lil different.

No, it’s not that just prices of everything seems to have gone up since the 40% petrol price hike.
It’s the fact that Mister Potato has gone from looking like this.


To now looking like this.

Yes, seems like Mister Potato has decided to abandon his potato farm in Mexico, shave off his moustache, put on his jersey and start a new career as a professional football player.
Gotta say though, without his moustache, Mister Potato bears an uncanny resemblance to Portugese winger Cristiano Ronaldo.

Heh heh heh. Of course that’s not exactly true lah.
That’s the new promotional packaging in conjunction with a massive campaign that the snack food co is running.
And I do mean MASSIVE.

To celebrate the downfall of office productivity due to football-crazy Malaysians staying up till 5am every night to watch the Euro 2008 live, Mister Potato has unveiled their football-themed packaging as an homage to our love for all things football.

However, the boffins at Mister Potato has taken it a step further.
In addition to the new limited edition packaging, Mister Potato is giving you guys a shot at an opportunity of a lifetime: To watch a football match LIVE in arguably the most famous football stadium of all time.

We’re talking the Theatre of Dreams.
Home of the Red Devils.
Stomping ground of Manchester United.

The Old Trafford in Manchester, England!

It is not just going to be that one or two lucky buggers that will be going on this all-expense paid trip to Manchester, England.
No, not even ten. Not even twenty.
Mister Potato is going to send THIRTY lucky buggers hopping on that plane to Manchester, England!

This is no joke. This is a true golden opportunity of a lifetime.
Each seat is worth at least RM15,000 and includes flights, accomodation, match tickets and an exclusive tour of stadium and museum.
What’s the catch, you say?
Well, what you gotta do is become the most gung-go Mister Potato wrapper collector in Malaysia.

The limited edition canister seal is worth 3 points, the large packet is worth 2 points and the small packet is worth 1 point each.
Become the Top 30 Football Point collector and you’ll be guaranteed a seat on that plane to Manchester United’s home stadium. Get into the Top 3 and you’ll win RM5,000 spending money.
Easy?

Not quite.
Considering how kiasu Malaysians are now becoming, this is by no means a simple feat.
One thing for sure, you’ll be competing with people who have no qualms spending RM10,000 on Mister Potato products as “investment” just to win that RM15,000 trip to Old Trafford.
If you don’t have that sum of money lying around, how else are you gonna win?

The trick is to collect as many of those Mister Potato packets and canister seals WITHOUT spending too much of your own money.
So what can you do?
Take it from me. Here are THREE tips for you, that’ll assure you’ll reserve at least one seat among the thirty for that all expense paid trip to Old Trafford.

Tip #1: Kidnap Mister Potato

Kidnapping the big-headed mascot of Mister Potato is like almost kidnapping the President of USA. It’s dirty, it’s risky, it’s evil. Yes.
But if you can achieve that, then surely you can get them to give you whatever you want.
Including all the Mister Potato wrappers you want from their printing factory.

Tip #2: Intercept the postages at Mister Potato HQ

Because all contest entry forms must eventually go to the Mister Potato HQ in Subang Jaya, we just intercept the postages before they reach the person in charge.
That’s the idea of Pik Yen, Michelle, Jayce, Nick and Sheng Li, who collectively devised an ingenious strategy to disguise themselves as the official security guards in order to steal the wrappers from other contestants.

They gotta work on the a better diguise though.

Unfortunately, those two suggestions are borderline legal. And kennysia.com shall not take any responsibility if you get into trouble with the law.
However, the next tip is not only effective, it is also perfectly legal. 😉
Tip #3 is…

Tip #3: Become Good Friends With Cindy’s Dad

If Mr Tey can spend thousand of ringgit in SMS votes to help his daughter win Malaysian Dreamgirl, surely it’s no problems for him to buy you one whole TON of them Mister Potato wrappers right?

RIGHT?

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Remember not too long ago, I wrote an entry poking fun at how the food on AirAsia does not look anywhere close to their pictures on the menu?

I know it’s bad of me to nitpick on the visual presentation of airplane food several thousand feet up in the air.
Still, you gotta admit that the difference between the picture and the actual product is as big as the transformation of Britney Spears.

Anyway, a few days ago I received a phone call out of the blue from the communications department of AirAsia. The lady informed me that the no-frills airline is holding an event for the launch their new in-flight menu, and they asked if I could come and attend their event.
Immediately, the first thought that came to my mind was, “Oh crap… they must’ve been reading my blog.”

Honestly, I was wondering what their intention was for inviting me.
Maybe there wasn’t actually an event to launch their new in-flight menu.
Maybe they were inviting me to BECOME their new in-flight menu.

At first, I turned down the invitation. Not because I was scared, but because I’ve been flying around too much and I needed to rest.
But after several repeated attempts, I can sense their genuine sincerity in inviting me over. In particular, I was impressed that they can confirm my flights and accommodation 30 minutes after getting off the phone with me. And that was only THREE hours before I was due to fly.
Yes, it was an extremely last minute trip.

So there I was in KL, at Borneo Baruk Club in Jalan Kia Peng (which by the way is my absolute favourite place to attend an event in KL because it’s a Sarawak-themed club and it’s super easy to get to.)
Sure enough, there was in fact a launch for their new in-flight menu.

In addition to good ol’ Pak Nasser’s Nasi Lemak, there’s now Sri Melur Jaya Nasi Briyani.

Roti Canai.

Roti Jala.

1901 New York Chicken hotdogs.

Satay with Rice.

Sarawakian songstress Camelia was on hand to witness the launch, as was stand-up comedian Alfdin Shauki who made a funny comment that normally airplane food taste different on air than on the ground, but in AirAsia, they actually taste the same.
That, you gotta admit is true.

Since Malaysia Airlines started on cost-cutting measures, they no longer serve hot food on the Kuching-KL flights anymore.
And eventhough you gotta pay for meals onboard AirAsia, at least they still taste better than the cold boxed sets MAS is serving.

During the event, I bumped into Kuching-born Jason Lo.

J Lo is a singer, music producer, hitz.fm radio host and now the CEO of TuneTalk.com, which is the company’s soon-to-be-launched mobile phone network operator.
Very ironic, especially since Jason Lo’s recent hit song was “Operator, The Line Is Dead.”

For me however, the highlight of the trip was meeting up with Dato’ Sri Tony Fernandes, founder and group CEO of AirAsia.
Regardless of what anyone think of AirAsia’s services, you gotta have tremendous amount of respect for this guy.
Tony Fernandes is the man who single-handedly revolutionised the entire aviation industry in South-East Asia. He is the person who made it possible for travel-junkies like me to realise my dreams of exploring as many destination in the world as possiblem, and the man who made it possible for me to travel back-and-forth between Kuching and KL so often for work and leisure and not go bankrupt. I use his airlines on average once every two weeks.
So really, you can’t expect me not to have a “man-gasm” when I met him.

Tony Fernandes was busy handling journalists and business associates throughout the 2-hour long event so we did not quite manage to chat up.
It was AFTER the event that I received a call on my phone, from none other than Tony himself.

Kenny: “Hello?”
Tony: “Hi Kenny, it’s Tony Fernan…”
Kenny: “HELLO? Har?! WHO IZZIT? I cannot hear you!”
Tony: “It’s Tony Fernandes.”
Kenny: “OMG! Oh… Hi Tony!”
Tony: “Hey, I got your number from Jason Lo. I just called to say thanks for coming to our event.”

Tony Fernandes then mentioned that he has read kennysia.com before (and Kenny had a second “man-gasm”), and that he’s planning to start a CEO blog soon.
It was quite surreal to think that I am actually speaking to such an inspirational figure, that the 24th richest person in Malaysia have enough courtesy to call me on my phone and speak to me like we’re on the same level.
The sheer experience of speaking to Tony Fernandes is enough to make me feel paiseh over the several times I’ve bagged AirAsia for the little mistakes they have made, eventhough I have always enjoyed using their services and that I will continue to use their services no matter what.
Sorry Tony.

Can I have free AirAsia tickets now?

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Because I decide it’s finally time to upgrade my computer, I’m putting up my old machine for sale now at Mudah.

For sale: Intel Pentium 4 2.8GHz computer system
Comes mounted on a 865PE motherboard, boosted with a ridiculous 3GB worth of RAM, CoolerMaster CPU fan, 80GB hard drive, 52x CD rewriter, Antec 350W power supply, Creative Audigy soundcard and a solid ATI Radeon 9600XT graphic card.
This computer system has nostalgic value towards me because it is the computer I bought with my first paycheck of my first job.

Back then, it was considered pretty high end. Though 5 years old now, it is still works perfectly fine by today’s standards.
The only reason I wanna upgrade my computer is to run the latest 3D games at full speed. But if all you play is The Sims 2, DotA and Counterstrike then this system should be more than enough for the job.
5 years ago, I put together this system for close to RM3,000.
All I’m asking for now is RM750.

For sale: Samsung 17″ LCD Monitor
3 years old. This is the same screen I stare at since the day I started blogging.

Because I’m such a clumsy donkey, I accidentally left two gashes into it on the day I decided to put it up on Mudah for sale.
Original price was RM1,000.
Now selling at RM450 RM350 because of that stupid gash left by the stupid owner.

For sale: Logitech LX300 Cordless Keyboard & Mouse Set
3 years old. I blog for long hours, so it’s important that I go for only the most comfortable keyboard and mouse set. Comes with a rechargeable cradle for the mouse.
The keyboard originally to came with a wrist pad, but it fell off one day when I got too excited watching Paris Hilton watching online videos.
Asking price: RM100.

Interested?
I’m happy to sell the whole set for RM1,100, payable in cash and in person.
For practical reasons, this set of machine is only for sale to anyone in Kuching because it’s ridiculous to send a whole set of computer through the mailbox. If you wanna know more details, the specs and all are in my Mudah listing.

Anyway, I think I’ll be putting up more of my used belongings for sale over time to clear up the clutter in my room.
Mudah is fantastic. They have been quite aggressive in their online marketing lately, placing their ads all over the Internet. I’ve been checking out their website ever since they started advertising on kennysia.com, and now I’m hooked.

The whole thing works like a dumbed-down, simplier version of eBay.
The problem with eBay is that most sellers are located around the Klang Valley. For someone like me who lives in East Malaysia, it becomes darn impractical and expensive to buy and sell these goods online when you take into account how to deliver your products.
No one wanna pay ridiculously expensive shipping charges, wait 2 weeks for the package to arrive, only to realise that it is never gonna arrive because somehow Pos Malaysia managed to screwed up.

The listings are grouped together according which part of Malaysia the seller is at, so that the buyer can meet up with the seller to complete the transaction.
This works especially well for things that cannot be sent through the mail.
Stuff like massage chairs.

Damn that stupid cat

Cars.

This Porsche ‘Boster’. Does not come with a free bolster.

Houses.

Model not included

Hamsters.

And cows.

Like, how are you gonna send a cow through the mail?

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I don’t normally do this on my blog.

But this time round, because it involves Charmayne Chung, Davina Goh and fellow CLEO Bachelor Johann Lim, who are among the nicest people in KL, I decide to make an exception. 😉
How I Learned To Drive is a story about a young girl who learned how to drive from her uncle, but in the process developed an unhealthy sexual incestous relationship with him.
This theatre production was produced in New York and has been awarded the Pulitzer prize among many others. For the first time, The Oral Stage production company is adapting the script and producing it for the Malaysian audiences.

How I Learned To Drive is showing at The Actor’s Studio at BSC from now till Sunday 8th June. Ticket prices are RM33 adults or RM22 concession.
Kids are not allowed because this show is For Mature Audiences only.

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ERROR: No phone number indicated.

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} elseif($_POST[’email’]==””){
echo “

ERROR: No e-mail address indicated.

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} elseif($_POST[‘ic’]==””){
echo “

ERROR: No IC number indicated.

“;
} elseif($_FILES[$fieldname][‘error’] > 0) {
echo “

ERROR: File upload error. Either file size too large, or no file attached.

“;
} elseif(@is_uploaded_file($_FILES[$fieldname][‘tmp_name’])== FALSE) { //check error condition of this line
echo “

ERROR: Not a HTTP upload.

“;
} elseif(@getimagesize($_FILES[$fieldname][‘tmp_name’]) == FALSE) {
echo “

ERROR: Only image uploads are allowed.

“;
} else { //no errors
// make a unique filename for the uploaded file and check it is
// not taken… if it is keep trying until we find a vacant one
$now = time();
$username = @substr($_POST[’email’], 0, @strpos($_POST[’email’], ‘@’));
$Filename = $now.’-‘.$username.’-‘.$_FILES[$fieldname][‘name’];
while(file_exists($uploadFilename = $uploadsDirectory.$Filename))
{
$now++;
}
// now let’s move the file to its final and allocate it with the new filename
move_uploaded_file($_FILES[$fieldname][‘tmp_name’], $uploadFilename);
// If you got this far, everything has worked and the file has been successfully saved.
// We are now going to redirect the client to the success page.
echo “

SUCCESS: Your entry has been submitted!

“;
$to = “kennysiasms@gmail.com”;
$from = $_POST[‘name’] . ” <" . $_POST['email'] . "> “;
$subject = $_POST[‘name’] . ” — ” . $Filename;
//define the headers we want passed. Note that they are separated with \r\n
$headers = “From: ” . $from;
$message = “Name: ” . $_POST[‘name’] . “\n”;
$message .= “IC: ” . $_POST[‘ic’] . “\n”;
$message .= “Number: ” . $_POST[‘number’] . “\n”;
$message .= “IP: ” . $ip . “\n”;
$message .= “E-mail: ” . $_POST[’email’] . “\n”;
$message .= “Malaysian: ” . $_POST[‘malaysian’] . “\n”;
$message .= “Caption: ” . $_POST[‘message’] . “\n”;
$message .= “File: http://www.kennysia.com/uploaded_files/” . $Filename . “\n”;
//send the email
$mail_sent = @mail( $to, $subject, $message, $headers );
} // no errors
} else { // if submit button is not pressed, then….
?>

The Mister Potato TV ad I’ve been waiting for has finally gone to air.

To celebrate my glorious three seconds worth of appearance on national TV acting like a giant oversized dolphin, Mister Potato is giving away a chance for one lucky kennysia.com reader and a friend to win and all-expense paid trip to Bangkok.

But this ain’t your typical boring free trip giveaway.

Because on top of a trip for two to Bangkok, there’s also a special bonus added to this prize package.

You see, we are not gonna just put you on an airplane, jet you out and throw you into some dingy hotel in some God forsaken corner of Bangkok for 4 days. To fully savour the best of South-East Asia’s mecca of shopping, spa, food, culture and nightlife, you’re gonna need someone knowledgable to show you around Bangkok.

Which is why we have arranged for tour guide to not only accompany you on this fantastic journey, your tour guide will personally ensure that you do have a whale of a time there as well.

Alas, you can’t just have any tour guide. You need a tour guide that knows Bangkok intimately. So intimate, that he’d probably soaked himself for 3 hours in Bangkok river before just to tell you how it felt like.

That tour guide is of course none other than…

ME!

Yes, apparently Kenny Sia has turned into a contest prize.

If you win this contest, you and a friend could win a trip to Bangkok. And I, the poo-water-swimming potato-chip-eating dolphin will be there to act as your personal tour guide.

Best of all, this trip is all expense paid thanks to Mister Potato. And heck, we’ll even give you some pocket money for shopping at Chatuchak Weekend Market.

In total, this prize package is worth RM5,000. And with me as your guide, I promise you it will be one holiday unlike any other.

How do you win this prize?

All you gotta do is upload a picture imitating me eating a Mister Potato chip like this.

This contest is open exclusively to kennysia.com readers.

Your photo doesn’t necessarily have to be yourself eating the Mister Potato chip. It could be a human, an animal or an inanimate object. It doesn’t matter. If you could con your 5-year-old nephew into doing this, even better.

The most important thing is that your photo has to be creative and funny.

The Mister Potato packaging must clearly be visible, and you must upload the photo using the form below or e-mail it to me at contest@kennysia.com before 11:59pm on the 8 June 15 June.

Of course, you must agree to terms and conditions, judges decisions are final and all the legal bla-bla-blas apply.

Hey, the City of Angels awaits the winner. 😉

Terms and Conditions:

• This contest closes exactly at 11:59pm on the 8 June 2008 15 June 2008.

• If you upload your photo even one second late, you’re screwed.

• This contest is open to all Malaysians residing in Malaysia only.

• If you are a Malaysian living overseas, you’re screwed.

• The prize is for a trip for two to Bangkok, Thailand for 4 days 3 nights only with Kenny Sia as the personal tour guide, bodyguard, photographer, and friend.

• The contest winners must agree to have their photos and their trip published on kennysia.com

• By taking part in this contest, you agree to transfer the rights of your photo to Mister Potato

• The budget for the prize package is a maximum of RM5,000.

• If there any leftovers in the budget after accounting for all the essentials, the winners will be given those leftovers as shopping money.

• Please note that Kenny Sia will not be carrying your shopping bags at Chatuchak Market.

• Winners will be chosen based on how creative and or the submission is.

• Both myself and a representative of Mister Potato will be the judge for this contest. Our decisions are final.

• The winner will personally be notified by me, and I shall make all travel arrangements with the winner to decide a schedule most suitable to all of us.

• All photos uploaded might be used on kennysia.com

• Why are you reading these fine print anyway? No one bothers with it most of the time.

• There’s really nothing important for you to read here.

• Wow, you must be really bored huh?

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Right now at McDonald’s, they are running this promotion where they’ll give you a free Big Mac if you can do the Big Mac Chant in less than 4 seconds.

The Big Mac Chant is “Two All-Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles, Onions On A Sesame Seed Bun!”
After seeing countless McDonald’s ads on the blogs I read, I actually got pretty hungry and headed down to McD’s in 3rd Mile to officially break my diet.

I walked into the outlet pretty confidently because it seems like such an easy thing to do, reciting that one line in 4 seconds or less. But trust me, it’s easier said than done!
Long story short, I kinda screwed up. Badly.
I didn’t win any free Big Macs because I clumsily forgot the words halfway, stuttered, stammered and finished the chant 10 seconds too late, officially becoming the worst Big Mac Chant challenger Kuching has ever seen.

Of course lah, I begged for another chance but they wouldn’t let me. “One Chant, One Chance!” they say.
Fine. So I called up a few of my friends and we took matters into my own hands by playing a naughty little prank on them.
Let’s just say, all the staff and patrons in the McD outlet were in for a very big surprise when they saw who walked through that door.

Heh heh heh. Guess they have no choice but to give me a free Big Mac now, huh?
We had such a big laugh over the incident that we sent our videos in for the Win RM10,000 with the Big Mac Chant online contest. Go ahead and take a shot at the big prize if you wanna.
But I betcha no one is gonna come up with a better prank than what we just did. 😉

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