After more than 3 weeks of constant travelling (Saratok/KL/Shanghai/Perth), I’m finally back home in Kuching, ready for a life a little more stable and routine.
I still miss Nicole. 🙁
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Since when did Malaysia and Singapore churn out so many holier-art-thou Ephraim Loys?
I do not agree with many of Wendy’s opinion, including her recent diatribe. But I’m the one who sponsored her premium Haloscan comment boxes when she switched to her new template. How ah? Are you all gonna boycott kennysia.com now?
She’s a bad girl. Not by a long shot is she a positive role model for society. Neither are Britney Spears, Jolin Tsai, Paris Hilton or even Angelina Jolie (UN Ambassador/blood swapper/chain smoker/casual sex advocate).
My point is, bad role models exist everywhere. Impressionable young kids should not be left unsupervised reading websites like Xiaxue, SarongPartyGirl, kennysia.com, or any other blogs out there for that matter. The onus is on the parents to inform, educate or shield their kids away from bad stuff from the Internet, not hers.
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I wouldn’t even realise if I wasn’t told about it, but I woke up this morning and saw my own stupid face staring back at me on blog search engine Technorati’s Top 100. No shit Sherlock, kennysia.com is the 93rd most linked-to blog in the whole wide world!
Depending on how you look at it, this could either be good news for the Malaysian blogosphere (first Malaysian blog to be in the Technorati Top 100), or Travesty of the Century (that blogger is unfortunately, me). I can feel the burden on my shoulders already. If you hear anyone referring to me as the face of the Malaysian blogosphere, I’m sorry I wasn’t born better looking.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go change into a bigger underwear.
Foot In Mouth
It was great meeting up with Cynthia, Nadia, and The Great Swifty last evening in an impromptu bloggers meet of sorts.
One of the highlights of the night has gotta be my conversation with Lena, one of Cynthia’s friends who tagged along to Farrell’s cafe in Victoria Park. I don’t know who the heck Lena is and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t read kennysia.com or even know much about blogs at all.
What’s strange is that as soon as pulled a seat next to her, she started to quiz, grill and interview me CNN-style.
Lena : What do you hope to achieve in the world today?
Kenny : *giving her the wtf-are-you-nuts look* Err… world peace?
Lena : What do you think of the current Malaysian prime minister?
Kenny : What is this? Some sort of beauty pageant interview?
Lena : No, I heard you’re a blogger so you must have lots of thoughts. That’s why I’m asking you what you think.
Kenny : Well, I reckon Badawi is doing a great job. I certainly like him better than Mahathir for sure. Mahathir’s burnt too many bridges with the Western world for my liking.
Lena : What do you think of beauty pageants?
Kenny : Why are you asking me this?
Lena : Just now you said something about ‘world peace’, so I thought about beauty pageants lor.
Kenny : Err… It’s great opportunity for us to cuci mata (feast the eyes) lor.
Lena : What do you think of this year’s winner?
Kenny : Gloria Ting? Other than her elvish ears I think she looks pretty good. Certainly better than (Miss Universe Malaysia 2004) Andrea Fonseka.
Lena : What do you think of Andrea Fonseka?
Kenny : Gee… I don’t have much nice things to say about Andrea Fonseka. Don’t wanna risk offending people in case some of you guys know her.
Lena : It’s ok. You can just tell us what you think.
Kenny : Look, I’m pretty sure she’s a nice person, smart and all that. But looks-wise, I don’t think she’s ready for it. First and foremost, she looks horrible in a swimsuit. She looks as good as I do in a bikini! This is a BEAUTY pageant and you have to expect to be judged on your body. I think irregardless of how smart you are, you gotta at least look a certain standard before you sign up for it.
Lena : *Unimpressed* It’s sad how society thinks that women have to have an hour glass figure in order to be beautiful. The other contestants in the competition can’t even string a proper sentence in English! By winning Miss Malaysia, Andrea is the ambassador for Malaysia. And you gotta have someone smart for that position.
Kenny : I know, I’m not saying it’s her fault she won the competition. All the contestants that year were pretty bad anyway. But still, brains shouldn’t the only thing you need to have to win the competition. If that’s the case, anyone can just pick the smartest professors off the University, put them in a beauty pageant and expect them to win Miss Universe.
Lena : Hmm ok. You gotta admit that she has a lot of guts going for that beauty pageant.
Lena calmly took a sip from her vodka orange. I was still puzzled why she seemed so passionate during the conversation, so I asked “Why are you asking me all these? Are you related to Andrea Fonseka or something?”
That’s when she put her glass down, looked at me dead in the eyes and said “She’s my sister.”
I just wanna crawl my ass into a box, lock myself up and throw the key far far away.
Sleepless In Perth
I haven’t been getting much sleep since I came to Perth.
I can’t sleep when those two little monsters are practically crawling all over my face at SIX FREAKIN’ AM in the morning. Oi, leave me alone lah!
Travel Audioblog
Audioposts will appear here when available.
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kennysia.com World Tour
Yea, right.
This month is travelling month. With Project #1 and #2 firmly behind my back, I’m looking forward to getting my ass far far away from Kuching, perhaps try to max out my credit card pampering myself in the process. Kenny Sia lives by the principle “WORK hard. PLAY hard. And PRAY hard hard so I can win 4D later.”
This coming Sunday I’ll be in Kuala Lumpur. Following day I’ll travel to Shanghai, right after which I’ll be in Perth for ten days before returning to Kuching (and getting back into the routine) on the 25th. Appreciate it if Shanghai-travelling experts have any tips to share on the best places to shop/eat/party/hangout.
Things I plan to do when I’m in KL:
1. Gadget-shopping at Lowyat. I’m eye-ing the iPod nano. I checked, RM969 for a 2GB model. So expensive but it’s… oh… so… pretty… *drools*
2. Meet up with minishorts for Hokkien Char.
3. Get my essential dose of Starbucks Lampa Frappuchino.
4. Skydive from the top of KLCC twin towers.
5. Try NOT to get cheated at Petaling Street.
6. Consider accepting Tilia’s benevolent act of kindness.
7. Go out partying with sexy bomb LaineyLashes.
8. Return ShaolinTiger to the zoo he escaped from.
But since I’ll be in town for merely 12 hours, I’m only gonna have time to attend 1, 2 and 3. Shucks.
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Saratok is a beautiful small rural town and all that, but to tell you the truth I’m SO glad to get away from it finally.
It’s small, crime-free and everyone knows everyone. I especially like how Malays here speak Hokkien and Chinese speaks Iban. But there’s just something else I cannot get used to over there.
No, it’s not the fact that there’s no entertainment after 7:30pm, it’s nothing to do with the fact that people here naming their convenience store ‘Luxurious Restaurant’. It’s those freaking insects infesting the entire bloody town!
I was sleeping with ants and spiders and cockroaches even in the supposedly cleanest hotel room in Saratok. Every morning I wake up, I check my nose to ensure there’s no dead cockroach sleeping in it. It’s bad. It’s very bad. It’s BEYOND bad.
Saratok has stray cats – lots of them. These cats rule the foodcourts. Every evening you’d see a family of 6-7 cats, all huddling around a table patiently waiting for the next patron to feed them scrap food. On one occasion, I saw a stray dog wandering into the foodcourt innocently, only to be bitten and chased away by the feline army.
I was impressed. Not even Cat City Kuching has stray cats as vile and vicious as the ones they have in Saratok.
I think they should change the names of the towns around here. Change Saratok into Kuching, and change Kuching into Anjing.
Pinku
Remember my baby niece Kirsten? Probably not. Here’s a pic taken of her just two hours after she’s born.
She’s my favourite baby girl. I love her for her baby smell, her droopy cheeks and her sad sad face. Kirsten is nicknamed Pinku because when she’s born her face was all red and pinkish. My sis’ mother-in-law said it’s probably because my sis planted too many tomatoes when she was pregnant with her.
I haven’t seen Pinku since she returned to Perth and I can’t wait to hold her again later this month. Last I saw her she’s still cute and small like a baby pillow. I wonder how she is right now. For all I know, the little princess could be all grown up right now.
Some things never change.
Gone Saratok
I’ll be absent for 3 days. Project #2 is happening in this small town called Saratok, about 6 hours drive from Kuching city. Not sure what I can expect over there but I’ve been told ‘not much’. *groans*
Be nice to each other while I go prostitute myself to the corporate world.
Snippets of Saturday Night
Kenny: “Rich bastards. I don’t get it. Why do girls like them so much?”
Irene: “Heh, don’t ask me. It’s just a coincidence all my boyfriends turned out to be rich bastards.”
Rozie: “Actually, we only like the rich part. Not the bastard part.”
Kenny: “Oh, come on. I know guys who never made it through school, live off their rich parents’ money, bum at home without work or education, and still gets more action than most guys around here. Girls love rich bastards.”
Hedo: “Yeah, but if their parents stop giving them money, they’re just gonna be bastards. Full stop.”
Going out with Irene can be quite a traumatising but strangely profound experience. It must’ve been ages since I last went out relax and unwind, so when Irene called I took up her offer. Our Saturday night was spent drinking at SoHo, with new friends John, Rozie and Hedonistics joining in.
This the same Hedonistics who called me Mr Orgasm-Inducing, and the same Irene whose mom thinks I look very ‘lau sik’ (innocent). Hohoho, if only she knew what kind of a person I really am.
I don’t understand why the mothers I met all seem to like me leh. Irene’s mom met me only once, and she so excited go and tell her happily-attached daughter to date me. Wtf? So wrong. Must be my Swee Mei haircut I tell you.
Irene: “yak yak yak yak yak…”
Kenny: “yak yak Oooh, that girl is hot. yak yak yak…”
Irene: “WHERE?”
Hedo: “Cheh… this kinda girl. EVERYWHERE!”
John: “Cheap dress.”
Kenny: “Hoiyo. She pretty whattt.”
Without me noticing, Irene swiftly grabbed my camera and walked towards that girl.
Irene: “Hi! My friend thinks you’re pretty and he wants to take a picture of you.”
WALAU! Where got so direct one?! People just wanna see see look look only, not get into her pants lah! Stupid Irene. I had my head down throughout the whole ordeal. So embarrassing.
At least I got the photo of the girl that night. 😉 Everyone, say hello now to this sweet Kuching bombshell, Emma.
Singapore Trip Videoblog
While trawling through my photo collection, I noticed I had recorded a few video clips from my two Singaporean trips a few months back but I never really bothered to put them up. There’s nothing too interesting about them, but I’m still gonna post them up for the sake of documentation.
Some of the things you can expect to see in this videoblog:
Super ultra realistic tanks blowing each other up like CRASH!!! BANG!!! BOOOOOM!!!
Wanyi’s singing prowess!
Sizzling pseudo-erotic display by the bellydancers from the Singapore Bloggers Convention! All the guys there saw it, and they gave it a three thumbs up. (Don’t act dumb and ask me where the third thumb is, ok.)
Audio of someone squealing orgasmically while watching the Singapore National Day fireworks! I leave it up to you to guess who exactly that person is.
‘SarongPartyGirl’ Izzy lashed out against bitched about viciously attacked shared her profound thoughts on ‘Xiaxue’ Wendy Cheng.
Also featuring the mysterious Cowboy Caleb’s voice!
Clarke Quay’s seedy underground dance scene!
The recently unmasked Scarlett Ting and Sassyjan showing off their heartbeat-accelerating, nosebleed-inducing, uber sexxxy dance moves! Hot damn! Anything sexier and it’ll have to be classified as softcore pornography.
Actually I was just exaggerating, but you’ll never know if you don’t check out the video.
Download hi-quality video here. (WMV format. 13 mins. 52MB.)
Rash
For some strange reasons, I woke up yesterday morning with bumpy red spots all over my arms.
I took off my shirt and discovered a lot more of them on my body. Man, those babes last night were wild!
Initially I suspected I might be allergic to the dusty environment where I’ve been working at these past few days, but that couldn’t be the case since I was fully clothed at work (duh) and I’ve got rashes all over my body. Then I went to see the doctor and he said he suspected virus. But I scanned myself with Norton Antivirus and I turned out clean leh. Stupid doctor.
The rashes aren’t particularly itchy or anything. They’re just ugly as hell.
I wish I could tell you red polka-dotted skin is the latest fashion statement right now, but the fact remains that I got some weird ass skin disease. 🙁