I’m rich! I’m rich! I’m a millionaire!
A million Indonesian Rupiah-aire that is. Which, according to today’s exchange rate is exactly RM384.90 only.
Still, it feels good to call myself a millionaire eventhough it’s a different currency. I mean, I always dreamed of swimming in a pool of dollar notes when I strike it rich one day.
Anyway, the reason why I’m converting my Ringgits to Rupiahs is because it’s the long weekend here in Sarawak and I’m using the opportunity to take a 4-day trip to Jakarta. I have never stepped foot to Indonesia before, so this is gonna be my exciting virgin trip into the country we only know as the main exporter of maids, terrorists, earthquakes and The Annual Haze™.
I hope language wouldn’t be a problem for me here. Although I used to have heaps of Indonesian friends back in Australia, the only Indonesian word they ever taught me was “ngentot”. And I don’t even know what the hell that means.
Indonesia has been in the news a lot lately. Not necessarily for the right reasons though.
Because the income gap between the rich and the poor is so huge, people in cities like Jakarta is notorious for scamming, pickpocketing and mugging, even under broad daylight. Jakarta isn’t exactly the safest city in South-East Asia, and to make things worse I’m gonna be travelling over there all alone.
A tourist like me is definitely gonna look like a walking ATM machine waiting to be robbed in Jakarta.
Why did the ATM machine cross the road?
Having gone through the nightmare of losing all my money in a foreign country before, I certainly wouldn’t wanna repeat the same hellish experience over again.
To prevent the worst from happening, I came up with the brilliant idea of hiding my stacks of cash in different compartments.
In the very likely scenario that I do get mugged or have my wallet stolen, at least they’ll just take what’s inside my wallet and I would still have some Rupiahs covertly stashed away in my bag.
.. in my jeans pocket.
… inside my underwear.
… inside my socks.
… and heck, even underneath my shoes.
Then, with all my cash safely hidden away, I will just pretend to walk around the streets of Jakarta as innocently as possible.
Nah, don’t think anyone’s gonna rob me!