I had wanted to blog about the recent marriage of two of my closest friends. So I logged on to Friendster to surf their testimonials. Whilst surfing, I saw some pretty girl’s picture I was distracted by someone else’s profile, so I clicked profiles after testimonials and testimonials after profile and…. anyway, needless to say I didn’t end up writing a single word about Geraldine and David’s marriage. 🙂

I haven’t been checking out Friendster much since its craze a few months back. I remembered it used to be much simplier. You have a network of friends that you know. Then, you found out that both you and your friend knew someone else and things like that. Its a fantastic concept, a great conversation starter and I had fun locating my old mates from secondary school and even primary school. My oh my, how things have changed. The whole Friendster culture has evolved out of proportion. Gone are the days of honest testimonials and people in your friends list that you actually know (exchanging messages through Friendster once does not count). Today’s Friendster is overtaken by honest-to-god kiasu people and over-enthusiastic teenage girls.

Here’s the top 5 annoying Friendster trends. Feel free to point out more if you want. Oh, and one more thing – I make no apologies in naming names. 🙂

5. The ASCII Art Testimonials

You know the ones. A friendster testimonial is supposed be someone writing some ass-kissingly nice stuff about the other person. It used to be the best part about Friendster because I get to find out funny things about people I know – like how Huey Mei got so drunk once she locked herself up in her car and crying "I don’t want to die". These days its all about the ASCII arts. These are pictures made up with characters on the keyboard and come to think about it, they are actually very similar to me – ie, they take up a lot of space and they sure look damn ugly.

What puzzles me even further is why would people approve these sort of testimonials? These ASCII arts just bury the sincere and genuine testimonials your real friends gave you deeper and deeper. (What? You mean I have real friends on my Friendster?) Makes you wonder where your priorities lie.

4. The Copy-and-Paste Testimonials

These are just as annoying as the ASCII art testimonials. These are “testimonials” that aren’t really testimonials, but rather some amusing piece someone found elsewhere and decided to just copy and paste it into the person’s testimonial box. Its usually funny the first time you read it. But after surfing a while later, you saw exactly the same testimonial elsewhere!

I did see worse ones. Someone copy and pasted a generic cutesy testimonial like “StAY CuTe AnD BeAuTiFuL, gur|, y0u r0x!”… but they gave it to a guy. And the guy accepted it!

I can’t believe the lack of sincerity in that. If you don’t want to write a testimonial, then don’t write. Or at least write something original lah. Its like when you’re invited to a birthday party of a friend you really hated. Instead of giving him a generic present like a box of cheap $2 chocolates you bought in a rush, just go empty handed, or give him a piece of freshly made shit wrapped in colourful paper – at least that’s original, see?

3. ThE CrOoKEd LeTTeR TyPerS

ThIs oNe is eAsY To sPoT fROm a MiLe aWaY. tHeSe PeOPle hAvE sOMe PaTIeNcE tO bE AbLe tO tYPe tHiS WaY. I sEriOUslY hAVe nO iDEa HoW oR wHY TheY DiD iT. WaS iT suPPoSed tO be cOOl? WaS It suPpOSed tO bE cUtE? My EyEs HuRT wHEn I ReAd iT. WhY cAn’T tHEy JuSt tYpE nORmaL LiKe eVErYoNe eLsE!

I’m ok with crooked letter typers, honestly – in fact, I kinda find the cuteness in it. Unfortunately, sometimes they push their boundaries a little too hard when they write a whole testimonal using crooked letters. It annoyed the hell out of me! Like this testimonial below:

Makes me really want to hit him back sometimes… with my fist.

2. The Beauty Contest Judge

These are dummy Friendster accounts, the purpose of which is to judge regular Friendster users on their looks. If you happen to be good looking enough by their standards, then you receive a… *drum rolls* stupid testimonial telling you that you are good looking. Fascinating stuff. Except the people who operates these accounts usually get bored pretty quickly and let their account wilt and die after a while.

What’s a beauty contest judge doing in Friendster. I have no idea. Why do people add beauty contest judges as friends in Friendster? I have no idea. What’s the beauty contest judge below trying to say? I have no bloody idea.

Name: oO KawaiiPpL Oo

*+*+* Attention to PpL out there *+*+*

We are here to look for ppl whom possesses Kawaii Looks!!!
If you tink you realli possess a Kawaii look,Please feel free to add us.
All Guyz & Gals are welcum…

However,we are veri STRICT in selecting ppl.
So if we dun tink you possess a kawaii look,we will immediately reject you…
If we haf rejected you,Dun add us back again. Get it?!?!
If you wan us to add you back,Plz try to improve on your looks in de pic.

* Criterias to be a [Kawaiian] in here *
( 1 ) You muz be Kawaii enough for us.
( 2 ) You muz attached 2 or more photos for us to view.
( 3 ) Singaporeans preferred though. But if you tink you r realli kawaii,you can try adding us.
( 4 ) Single would be an advantage.

Up to date rejects –> 245 ppl

Please do drop us a testimonial if you [Kawaiians] wan a testimonial from us.
As we are rather busy,we will write one back for you [Kawaiians] asap.
We will rate de testimonials accordingly.

–> Super Kawaii Peep : 10/10
–> Veri Kawaii Peep : 8 to 9/10
–> Quite Kawaii Peep : 6 to 7/10
–> Normal-Looking Peep : 5/10

PLUS!!!~~
Every month,we will placed de Top 2 most Kawaii ppl photos here. One Guy & One Girl would be selected by us personally. And both of them would be named ‘Most Kawaii GuY & GaL’.

Sooo…Dun wait liao.
Hurry Up and Add us now!!!!!
We will be waiting for y0u!!!!

Quickly add us at –> KawaiiPpl@xxxxxxx.com

*Kenny desperately tries to improve his Kawaii looks in his Friendster pic*

I have 3 words to say. Make it 4 words, I want to swear. What’s the fucking point? If I happen to become a "Super Kawaii Peep 10/10" by their definition, so what? Got food to eat ah? Besides, I don’t want to be called a Kawaiian. What a bloody stupid name.

1. The "I am so cool because I have 3000 more friends than you" kiasu girl

These are usually 15 year old teenage girls who enjoy collecting friends. Yes, COLLECTING – like they are stamps or something. They would have one Friendster account, fill it up to the maximum 500 "friends", after which they would open another account, and repeat the process until its full again.

This one girl had seven Friendster accounts. SEVEN. That means she has up to 3500 "friends"! Read that, 3500!!! What kind of 15-year-old in JB have the means necessary to have 3500 friends?! I am amazed! I’m struggling to hit 3 digits worth of friends myself dammit! Who are they trying to meet?

“p/s: pls dun send me msgs to add u.. my email is already in my profile.. if wanna add me juz add. i will accept de.. thanks lotz… oh ya.. write me testi oso.. hahahz^^.. tk cr.. byee”

What the?! What the heck is she thinking? The "I have more friends than you so my balls are bigger than yours (except I have none)" mentality! Does the people on her friends list actually know her? I doubt so. So, how the heck are they supposed to write her testimonials!? "Hmmm… I dunno Michelle, but I think she’s very cute and pretty."

DUH!

This is going to be one helluva graphic entry and its not for the faint hearted. If you can’t stand blood, gore, and filthy images. Please bail out now.

Lately I have been hearing stories of how people (usually girls) cut themselves when they are/were going through bouts of depression. The ‘experts’ call it self-harm, self-injury, or self-abuse, which also includes all sorts of other behaviour that inflict pain and damage serious enough to cause scarring on one’s body. These are usually done to make oneself ‘feel better’.

I first learnt about cutting when I was really young, probably about 13 or 14 years old. I read in the newspaper how two lesbian lovers from St Teresa’s Secondary School carved each others name on their thighs with a pen knife. My reaction that time, predictably, was "Siao ah!".

I first saw the act of cutting when I watched Annabel Chong’s documentary last year. Annabel Chong, after falling victim to gang rape in London, and after being screwed by 252 men* free of charge in breaking the Guinness Book of Records, we see her as a nervous wreck. (*clarification: 251 who did it physically, plus the one director who screwed her out of the US$12,000 appearance fee, which was supposed to be for her University tuition fees.) I watched, as Annabel Chong used a knife and slitted the anterior of her forearm on camera. "I feel numb. I just wanted to feel… something." she explained.

The act of cutting has often been misunderstood. "They’re doing it just to seek attention lah!"
"They must be crazy to cut themselves." I doubt cutting is attention-seeking, because most cutters hide their wounds by wearing love sleeve or cut themselves in places not normally seen, like on the thighs. And also, it turns out that cutting isn’t something that only happens to crazy people. Lately, I have known perfectly sane people – people that I know personally – who cuts themselves as a way to cope with stress and depression. One described it as sad, yet beautiful in a way – beautiful because its something she can control, unlike her moods.

I don’t exactly know what triggered their depression and motivated them to cut themselves. Abuse by loved ones in the past is most likely a significant factor. One theory was that they were beaten up or abused when they were young when they did something wrong, so it would almost be like they expected to be abused when something overwhelming goes wrong in their life, although it might be things that are not within their control. They cut themselves to be in control. Of course that’s just generalising. There are teenagers who cut themselves simply because ‘everyone else is doing it, like smoking’. They did it for social acceptance.

Some people grow out of it, like a temporary phase in life that when you matured and you just stopped doing it. Unfortunately some people don’t. That’s dangerous because people who cuts themselves are usually suicidal as well. I guess it is important that people seek help when they find themselves self-harming. Talking to a trusted person or a loved one about it seem to help, and seeking professional help from a psychiatrist should definitely be considered as well. Consider taking up a religion (no, not those satanic ones) and start reciting prayers because that seemed to have helped a lot of people. Cutting yourself is a behaviour that hurts not only yourself, but the people around you as well. They are hurt too when you put that knife to your arm. You have already been through so much, and you have been hurt so much – why inflict more pain on yourself and on the people around you? I do hope you look at life in the face, grabbing life by the balls and show them who’s in control. And I wish you all the best in recovering.

The whole thing just make me cringe, yet I feel sorry for them. I wanted to help them but I do not know what to do. I tried to imagine myself back when I was 17 or 18, and the times before I met Nicole. I felt low because of a variety of reasons – I can’t find acceptance within my group of friends, I felt the pressure of keeping up with my studies, I felt tied up by the lack of freedom given by my parents. I remembered my bouts of ‘depression’ if you want to call it that way, and the thought of cutting myself never even once went through my head. Yet I pulled it through. Everytime I feel low, I go to the gym with a stomach full of rage and anger, armed with earphones filled with pumping music, and then I just take it all out on the weights, go home to bed with an body overdosed with endorphins, and wake up the next day with sore muscles all over my body. So, I guess I was abusing myself in a way – except I was injuring my muscles instead of the surface of my skin. 😉 Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – that’s true.

I’d like to hear from you. Have you ever cut yourself? If so, what was going through your mind when you do it? What triggered you to do it? If not, how did you cope with stress and depression when it hits you? Please leave comments, and remember that you may remain anonymous if you want. I would love to hear your side of the story.

I leave you with a quote, so gross yet so true, courtesy of the philosopher Kim. (That girl has been churning out quotes after quotes like Confucius.) Artwork by yours truly. Feel free to spread it around. 🙂

Just from blog-surfing I have noticed quite a lot of sad posts lately. All these depression and death and howdifficultlifeis… *cough* Tiffy *cough* Naomi *cough* Kim *cough* Chrissie *cough* Irene *cough**cough**cough*. Sorry I had a major cold. 😉
I can understand how everyone feels. All these personal issues are further compounded by the events of the past year. Let’s face it, 2004 in general was pretty crap. 2004 shall be remembered for the continuing war in Iraq, Bush and Howard’s re-elections, South Asian Tsunami. For myself, I learnt in 2004 that my father has contracted cancer.
Why don’t we think of one happy event, and blog about it. Just do it once for a change, ok?
I shall start by writing about one of my joys of living.

Meet my son Jayden. He’s 18 months old now. It all happened one passionate night two years ago…
Ok so I lied, he’s not my son. He’s my nephew. But look at him, isn’t he just the cutest little boy ever?
Like me, Jayden is also in the process of “re-discovering himself”. I’m pretty sure he’s still not quite there yet.

Sometimes Jayden thinks he’s a monkey.

Sometimes he thinks he’s a dog.

When Christmas is near, he thinks he’s a reindeer.

But most of the time, he sleeps like a pig. Ahhh… the days free of worries. Sometimes I wish I were Jayden.

Jayden has a little sister. Her name is Kirsten and she’s born on Christmas Day, which means she’s only two weeks old. Kirsten cries all the time, and Jayden is mystified by this new addition to the family. Sometimes he pokes her head with his finger when she cries.
I’m not quite sure how Kirsten will turn out when she grows older. But if the following picture (taken on the day she’s born) is any indication, I’ll be very very worried.