Category: Event Coverage

The Possessed Movie Premiere

Unlike Hollywood, us simple Kuching folks don’t get a lot of movie premieres over here.

When it comes to hosting red-carpeted movie gala events, Kuching is probably the least considered venue among filmmakers. We don’t have a lot here to attract stars and celebrities. In fact, we are so insignificant that people always think Kuching is part of Sabah.
But just last week, our humble little town was transformed into Tinseltown as the cast and crew of the movie The Possessed descended here and made their presence felt in our backyard.

Smyth Wong, Alan Yun, Steve Yap, Amber Chia, Bjarne Wong, Manolet Garcia

If it weren’t for Bjarne Wong, people are probably still gonna think that Kuching is located inside Sabah.
Bjarne is a Kuching-born film director who made the movie “The Possessed”. It is Bjarne’s second movie after “The Legend of the Red Curse” which was widely considered a disastrous cinematic flop.

With director Bjarne Wong

I actually watched “Legend of the Red Curse” together with the Bjarne, Linus Chung and Mei Ling* at Bjarne’s house in his bedroom that one fateful night.
Four grown men in one bedroom must be every gay man’s fantasy. But don’t worry ladies, my anal virginity has escaped the experience unscathed.

Props from “Legend of the Red Curse”

The first movie “Legend of the Red Curse” was one of those movies that is so bad, it’s good. It’s so bad it even had people sending death threats to the director. That is alright, because it was not just Bjarne but everyone’s first attempt at directing a feature-length movie.

Knowing how bad the first movie was, I didn’t have much expectations walking into the cinema for his second piece of work. So it came as a surprise that I actually… enjoyed it.

The Possessed stars my longtime sweetheart Amber Chia. It is a “horror flick” featuring actors from in and out of Malaysia, and is filmed entirely in Kuching. I used the term “horror flick” loosely here because as I found out later, the movie actually isn’t really that scary at all.

Senso bar at Hilton

Sure, glaringly obvious plot holes are all over the place and the quality of acting left a lot to be desired. But watching the director putting Kuching onto the silver screen is a surreal feeling. Our humble little city was shot beautifully. Next time I pass by those places that appeared in the movie, can feel their status different already.
For a Kuching boy like me, it is a lot of fun guessing where each scene was shot. When friends we hang out with regularly suddenly appeared on the big screen as keh-leh-feh (supporting cast) speaking Cantonese, everyone bursted out laughing.

Click to watch the trailer for Possessed

Of course, it is a unfair to compare The Possessed with other big-budgeted Hollywood horror movies such as The Sixth Sense, The Village and The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.
After all, our movie-making resources and budget here is very limited.
So limited in fact that in the fight scenes, you can see the actors fighting so carefully to make sure that they don’t break any of the furniture around.

Another major MAJOR gripe I have with the movie is that all the dialogue is in Cantonese. I suspect that this decision has more to do with the marketability of the movie overseas rather than staying true to the roots of the de facto Kuching dialect. Not a lot of mainland Chinese or Hong Kong movie goers would be interested to watch the movie if it’s Hokkien right?

On the good side, Amber Chia’s acting has improved tremendously since we last saw her. The most memorable scene undoubtedly was watching Amber getting possessed by the demon.
At first, it looks like she’s trying to scratch an annoying pimple her back as she awkwardly bends here and there. Then she puts herself upside down and spins around like she’s doing ballet with her head.

Amber gets possessed. Decides to mop floor with her head.

Damn, that girl should be in Doha training our gymnasts for the 15th Asian Games.
Apart from seasoned actress Sharifah Amani, another cast member whose acting stands out from the rest is Filipino architect Manolet Garcia.

The Filipino plays a psycho who’s obsessed with Amber Chia’s character. There’s one hilarious scene in the movie where he was drooling over Amber’s photos on the wall, one hand touching her photos disgustingly, the other hand was reaching down to… almost touching his you-know-what.
Jojo was laughing so much in the cinema we thought she was possessed.

I reckon Bjarne might have better luck finding his niche making comedies instead of horror flicks.
Overall, I say the movie is very much worth watching, especially if you’re from Kuching and you’d like to see how your hometown was projected onto the big screen. For the rest, it’s best to watch this movie without too much expectations. It’s not to say that “The Possessed” is bad. It is just a lot better than most plotless B-grade Korean horror flicks.

Best of all, you get to see Amber Chia doing ballet on her head.

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My Birthday Party @ Links

So I had my 24th birthday party at Links this past Sunday.

I’ve never held a party in a club before and I hadn’t had a large-scale birthday party since I was 11. But this year is extra special for me.
According to the Chinese zodiac calendar it is the year of the dog, which is my year. So I think that is good enough excuse to throw a big-ass party at an exclusive club lah. 😛

I actually didn’t do much myself to make the party happening. All I did was arrange for the venue, order some food, then post a notice up on my blog to get people to come.

Morri, who runs the place, deserves all the credit for making my job easy.
The few times that I met up with him to discuss my plans for the party, he kept telling me “don’t worry”. I asked about security, he said “don’t worry”. I asked about the music, he said “don’t worry”.
Everything also “don’t worry”.
I think he should change his name from Morri to Dunworri.

The party on the evening itself began in earnest. Francis was the first to arrive.
Not because he couldn’t wait to see me lah. The poor guy had to deliver the tray loads of finger food I ordered from his wife.

Alex Kho, an old friend of mine, came early as well.
The guy has a lot of heart. He’s the one who brought me the cake shaped in the mould of a pair of coconuts. He printed out about 200 copies of very old photos of me in my awkward moment and throughout the night, he was just giving them out to the guests.
Alex also brought me another surprise, in the form of Suzanne!

She’s my old mate from Perth. Alex flown her in specially for my birthday all the way from Sabah. Wow!
By 9pm, the guests started streaming in steadily.

John Lee is an interesting fella I met recently. This self-made entrepreneur and motivational writer runs a language translation outfit called Epsilon Translation.
You’d think that he must be almost 40 years old to be able to achieve so much in his career, but the guy is the same age as me – 24.

Shirley, Lina and Monica came to my party looking fabulous in their elegant black dresses. At first, I thought “Wah! They really give me face.” But actually they came here straight from a wedding dinner.
There were plenty of eye-candies on the night.

Like “Mei Ling*”, from Hubei, China. (* not his real name)
A couple of Kuching bloggers were present at the party. This is inevitable since the invitation was published on a blog after all.

Yvonne and Marko looking sweet together.

Pic courtesy of KenJJ

Robin who wrote heaps about the party, Wendy, Felicity, Sue, Ben loves beach babes, Chun Chow, KenJJ and Francis Ho.
Sue is an avid reader of Kuching blogs. She currently resides in Florida but the mother-of-3 probably knows more about Kuching than the average Kuching-nite.
Goes to show that you can take the girl out of Kuching, but you cannot take the kolo mee out of the girl.

By 10pm, Links was getting PACKED.
I was worried initially how people would warm up into this new place, but turns out my decision to hold the party here was the right choice. Those who wanted to drink, dance and indulge in the music can go party the main area. Those who wanted to hold a decent conversation and meet new friends without yelling their heads off can socialise in the room where the food was served.
To top it off, the beautiful Kuching city lights from the top of the tower provides the ultimate backdrop for the party.

I was running around the whole night socialising with everyone and making sure no one was feeling too bored.
At least someone was having fun.

Brandon Juan, after his 536th beer.

Then there are those who hadn’t had enough to eat.

Like Briant.
The first time I met this guy, I was having supper at a hawker food stall. He spotted me, walked over, introduced himself and told me he reads my blog. For some reason, I was telling him I was trying to lose some weight.
The fella said to me, “You wanna lose weight? Very easy! I lost a lot of weight already. You just…”
“I’m willing to try anything that does not involve smoking.” I interrupted before he could finish.
“Oh… liddat then I got nothing to say already.”
What lah!

Mojo Gerald, Brandon, Kenny, Jojo, Isaac and “Mei Ling”.
I like this pic. And I love these people.

Samantha, who came in a stunning blue sun dress.

Gladys. I wrote about her previously. She’s that hot ex-primary school classmate who still recognised me after being separated for 13 years.

The boyish Eldon and the sassy Joanne, a witty girl who loves to pose for the camera.
There’s a lot more who attended my party, but I couldn’t possibly post all the photos up.

Entertainment for the night was voluntarily provided by Eldon and his team of Melbourne shufflers. They call themselves Hazard Minors. Thanks, guys!
Before I knew it, it was 12 midnight. I was led into the room to blow out candles and cut the cake, signifying me turning one year older.

Then it happened. Alex pushed the candles further down into the cake. And I smelt a rat.
He announced that according tradition (what tradition?), the birthday boy is supposed to pick up the candles from the cake with his mouth. So I leaned foward and…

Kena splat.

Thanks Briant.

Overall I reckon the party was a great success. Everyone had a good time chilling out and there wasn’t any untoward incidents with people getting drunk and starting fights.
Total alcohol consumed by the crowd: 3 bottles whiskey, 4 bottles vodka, 1 bottle Bacardi and 1 big keg of beer.
I didn’t intend on getting drunk myself either. That is, until Morri plied me with some powerful cocktails and then put the nail in the coffin with a fiery shot of flaming Sambuca.

Let’s just say I woke up the next morning with vomit on my blanket. Mom’s not happy.
Thanks to everyone who sent me gifts! Among some of them, I received a Manchester United shirt; a Chelsea football jersay (coincidentally, it was Man U Vs Chelsea on the night of my party); a pair of drum sticks; a Guess wallet; an fcuk tee; a tie with cartoons of condoms on it; and…

A box of G-string. Size S.
Thanks, but I think I need something A LOT bigger than that. Size S can only fit one of my toes, ok!?
Here’s a closer look at all the presents I received.

Yes, that is indeed a lacy pink women’s underwear. I’m not sure what its doing there and I’m not sure if it’s been used before or not.
Actually the more important question is: what am I even gonna do with it?
Wear it over my head?

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Merdeka Celebrations in Kuching

Today, Malaysia celebrated it’s National Day and Kuching is host for the national-level celebrations.

It is actually factually incorrect to call today the 49th birthday of Malaysia. 31st August is the day Malaya (ie Peninsular Malaysia today) gained independence from the Brits, which is irrelevant to us in the eastern states.

The birth of Malaysia did not occur until 6 years later when Sabah and Sarawak joined in, so in truth it’s more appropriate then to celebrate Malaysia’s 43rd birthday on the 16th September.
But nevermind, we’re just two insignificant small fries here with lots of trees and orang utans anyway. 😛 Who are we to influence the decision of the majority from the Peninsular right?

Our humble little city seems to be pulling out all the stops to impress the big wigs on the big day. Weeks before the official celebration began, all the roads were built, buildings re-painted and flags adorned. Policemen and ambulances were on standby at every corner of the street. The scale of things were unlike anything I’ve ever seen before in Kuching. Naturally I’m excited.
I was just finishing my workout at the gym in Hilton yesterday when I saw this car parked outside the hotel.

When you’re the Prime Minister of this country, you don’t need a numbered carplate like the rest of us commonfolks do

Apparently the leaders of this country were all staying at Hilton. Judging by the number of bodyguards with wired earpieces around the hotel, security must be pretty tight. I was pissing my pants just holding my camera, afraid that they might find me suspicious and decide haul me away for “interrogation”.
Lucky that didn’t happen. I managed to catch a glimpse of the big man on his way to dinner, accompanied by the Chief Minister of Sarawak along with his angmoh wife Laila.

Congratulations, you are 0% Un-Malaysian.

This is Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, the Prime Minister of Malaysia. He’s the elected leader of this country, and dare I say, the most well-respected as well. Dr Mahathir may be known for his straight-shooting fiery tongue, but I much prefer Badawi’s gentle demeanor and style of leadership.

Agung in da house!

This is the King of Malaysia. He’s the one we always sing about in the 5th verse of our national anthem. The man owns this country, literally.
His name is … Yang di Pertuan Agung Tuanku Syed Sirajuddin *gasp* Ibni Al-Marhum Tuanku Syed *gasp* Putra Jamalullail
*pant* *pant* *pant*
Gosh, I hope they don’t name a road after him.

We don’t really hear much about our King. All we see is His Majesty’s portrait in our government buildings all the time. There’s never a Prince Charles-like scandal or Prince Harry-type partying antics reported in the tabloids. Word off the streets is that our King of Malaysia leads a simple life, is a fan of Tottenham Hotspurs and enjoys singing karaoke.
Yes, the King sings karaoke.
Makes you wonder, what kinda song he sings during karaoke. NEGARAKU!?

I missed the bulk of this morning’s celebrations at the Padang Merdeka because I woke up late of technical difficulties. 😛 But I was there in time to catch some of the more bizarre parade floats, like this one depicting a ferocious mechanical tiger.

Behold! Malaysia’s secret weapon of mass destruction!

And this one showing a man making love to an Iban shield.

Oi, not in public can?

Anyway, when I finally made my way to the Padang, a policeman stopped me in my tracks. “Sorry, this place is for VIPs only.” he said.
What! You mean we Kuching people put up with all the traffic jams this past few days and we’re not even allowed to enjoy the performances and festivities? What kinda logic is this!

Lousy view. 🙁

So I stood there at a distance enjoying only as much as a peasant like me could enjoy with my view all blocked by trees and tents of those ladida VIPs, before I finally got frustrated and did what only a man deprived of his Merdeka parade-viewing pleasure would do.
I put on my Australian accent, posed as a foreigner and snuck into hotel nearby. 😛

Much better view. 🙂

The show was alright. Crowd was loud and rowdy all throughout. I reckon it looked grand on TV. Rumour has it that the federal government spent several million ringgits organising this event, and it shows.
I managed to get inside the Padang after the show and to have a look around.

This is the decoration in front of the King’s podium. They’ve got red, white, yellow and blue flowers nicely arranged into the shape of the Malaysian flag.
Then a few minutes later I saw this aunty walking casually down the street.

The aunty actually went in there and stole the flowers off the podium!
Merdeka!

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Rainforest World Music Festival 2006

The RWMF came and went one week ago, but obviously I was too knackered to write anything. Even until now. So this’ll be one hastily put together entry.

It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy on a Saturday night. I need any combination of good food, good music and good company.
With the exception of good food, I found the latter two aplenty at the music fest. Lots of people from the West and other parts of Sarawak came and flooded our humble little town over that weekend. For three days, music was shared, new friends were made, and Kuching became a real party town.

Joyce’s Monalisa Smile

JoycetheFairy, KinkyPugKevin and YC the Drama Queen flew in from KL to join in on the festivities.
My adventures began just when I was picking them up from Kuching International Airport. Knowing them, I was expecting three excited people madly jumping up and down passing through the arrival gates. But they hadn’t slept the night before so I ended up picking up 3 ZOMBIES wanting terrorise Kuching town.

Kevin’s flight to Kuching broke his aviation virginity

It was quite a scary sight.
Joyce “My blog is not famous because of Adam C” Wong and Kevin work for magazines and were here to cover the event. YC’s tagging along ‘cos she needed a break.

This year’s Rainforest World Music Festival followed pretty much the same formula as previous years’ – music from around the world by bands no one’s heard of, workshops in the afternoon and a huge concert at night, right in the middle of Sarawak’s lush rainforest.

Police sniffer dogs to detect if you have any illicit “green substances” on you. Hey, there are kids at the event ya know?

Having been to last year’s show, I thought this year’s event was much better organised with tougher crowd security and a more entertaining band lineup.
The concerts at night are the highlight of the event. That’s when they set up a huge stage in front of the grass lawn, and the audience dance and mosh to folk songs and world music as if it’s a trance rave. Quite a fascinating sight, because I’d have never expected much people to enjoy this genre of music.

There were a lot of good bands to like: the Mongolians with their throat-singing, the Madagascarians with their African beats, the Scottish with their bagpipe and rock music fusion. I particularly love it when bands from two different countries collaborate, and create a totally unique blend of music on the spot.
At the end of the the night, it’s become tough to choose which band is the most popular, but my guess is those Latin Americans should be somewhere near the top.

The Latin Americans perhaps played the hit song out of the entire music festival with a Spanish number called “Guantanamela” (whatever that means). It’s a catchy tune that made me feel like doing the salsa right then and there with a random stranger. 😛
But I shouldn’t scare people like that.
There were a couple of annoyances for me during the show. In conjunction with the Rainforest World Music Festival (RWMF), was another festival going on.

The Rainforest Shirtless Men Festival (RSMF) were running in full glory. Featuring an army of sweaty grown adult men with no shirt on mindlessly screaming and bumping into other people .
I don’t mind hogsweat rowdy shirtless guys at all. I just don’t like it when kept bumping into me EVERY 5 SECONDS trying to swap sweat droplets with me. It’s disgusting. Seriously, those people should either put a shirt on or eff off.

Drums sound better when you’re higher.

With the amount of alcohol and drunken people going on, sometimes I wonder if kids should even be allowed to be there.
Still, best part of the whole festival was the company I was with.

This is Irene and YC. The two of them have so much in common it’s kinda spooky.

Best. Ten seconds. Of my life.
I thought I was in heaven.Trying very hard not to smile too wide.

IngHui, all the way from Miri, taking a photo of me taking a photo of her.

Arthur, who drove 13 hours along with IngHui from Miri to attend the event.
This guy is at it again. We were together throughout most parts of the concert, and he could just be standing there doing nothing saying nothing , QUIET AS A ROCK, and have women – HOT BEAUTIFUL WOMEN – making the first move chatting up to him. It’s insane.

Fairy Angel

The girls said it’s the aura he exudes and his mean tattoo.
Maybe I should get a full arm tatt as well. That’ll pick up chicks.
To end this lousily put together entry, here’s a video of the highlights of the Rainforest World Music Fest for those who can’t make it.

What a fun, hectic, music-filled weekend totally worth the RM60 entrance and overpriced cans of beer.

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Royal London Circus

The Royal London Circus is in town, just about to finish up their Kuching leg of the tour when I was given an invite to check them out.

My last circus experience was when I was about 5. I’ve grown out of watching clowns and magicians since. But it was an invite I might as well experiencing it one more time.
Tickets cost RM25 for the cheap seats, right up to RM55 where the action is as close as it can get.

The opening act features all the circus performers coming out to do the most unenergetic dance in the whole of mankind. Seriously, if this were the American Idol, half the performers would’ve been booted off within the first five seconds.

I’m sorry but for an opening dance, that was awkward. Maybe only the kids would enjoy it, but I don’t get the fascination of clowns prancing around in big shoes and red nose.
To make things worse, there was The Spandex Problem™.

Holy cow, take look at THAT THING! Hey, I came to the circus expecting to see animals, but I sure didn’t expect to see so many Camel Toes!

OMG can die lah like that. How to enjoy the show when the performers look like they’re not wearing anything at all?
Luckily, things start to pick up after that initial traumatising experience.

As far as stunts go, there were plenty of action to put you at the edge of your seats (or bench, if you paid for the cheap tix.)
Some of the stunt were pretty crazy, like skipping rope on top of a rotating wheel 30 feet up in the air. I shudder to think how many times he broke his bones just rehearsing that trick.

Undoubtedly the best act of the night goes to the two ballet dancers who performed their number by flying in the air hanging on a piece of the red cloth.

No death-defying stunts, no lame comedy, it’s just a beautiful and romantic ballet guaranteed to tug the heart strings. I think that act was worth the price of the entrance ticket alone.
The rest of the evening was pretty much standard circus fare.

Doggie jumping tricks.

Err… questionable juggling tricks.

Hungry elephants gobbling up humans for dinner?

Cooking an egg on a clown’s back. Good when you’re camping and don’t have a stove ready. But first, you gotta get a clown somewhere…

Despite some rather anti-climaxing moments, I say the Royal London Circus was a pretty solid 2.5 hour show.

The finale features 4 stuntmen riding their dirt bikes whirling inside the globe, simultaneously. It was some thrilling stuff. A second of miscalculation would spell disaster for all 4 men involved.
I reckon the police should use this method to punish those hoons on the road with loud exhausts and let them kill themselves off.

Eat your heart out, Xiaxue. *flutters fake eyelashes*

The Royal London Circus comes once in a while to most parts of Asia. It’s no mean feat bringing around this gargantuan group of performers from 17 different countries, animals, admin staff and props all over the place, but organisers Paul and Doris have been doing so for the past 20 odd years and still find joy doing what they do.

Personally, I reckon they’re doing heckuva fantastic service to the community travelling to all the small towns in Malaysia. Lots of kids living in these areas may perhaps never even be given a chance to see a circus if it weren’t for them.

The circus was good fun and definitely worth a watch if you have little kids to bring along to. I left the circus thoroughly and completely entertained.
One thing for sure, this image will continue to haunt me for the many nights to come.


I can’t sleep at night anymore. 🙁

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Miss Sarawak Model of the World Hair Show

Beauty pageants are like money. Having some is good. Having more is better. One thing for sure, there’s never enough beauty pageants in this world.

The Miss Sarawak Model of the World 2006 is yet another beauty pageant that just started in Sarawak this year. They held a hair show recently at the Travillion, and I popped in to look at chio bu cuci mata study the situation.
The hair show was held in conjunction with Alan Salon. This being the first hair show I attended, I didn’t quite know what to expect. Mannnn, what an eye opener it was.

The show started off innocently enough when four impossibly slim girls came out to parade in skimpy frocks and hair that rivals Mt Kinabalu in size.

This must be the Haute Couture of hair fashion industry designed to promote the reputation of the salon. Don’t imagine anyone would wear these out on the streets.

This one looks like she has aircond piping going through her head.
I don’t know if these four are contestants for Miss Sarawak or specially-hired dancers for the show – the emcee sorta rattled off a long list of names without exactly introducing who is who.

After a while, we’re introduced to three hair models who will be the guinea pigs for the show. The three made a spectacular entrance, dashing out onto the platform wearing masks from masquerade balls.

This is her “Before” look.
Their stylists followed shortly, led by Alan himself of Alan Salon fame, and began chopping off hair left right centre like nobody’s business.

Here’s where it gets interesting. Because this is essentially a fashion show, the models had to have their hair cut while still posing as sexily as they can. So you have this awkward situation where a man is snip-snip-snipping off her hair, and then she had her hair falling all over the floor doing this.

Or this.

Or even this.

Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a hair stylist too.
Most of the spectators were here to gawk at the contestants for the Miss Sarawak MotW pageant, but strangely they played second fiddle to the hair show models, posing only when the stylists were doing their job.

There’s a few great lookers among the contestants, but I think the crowd favourite that night was the girl in white.

OK lah she’s probably not the crowd favourite, but at least she’s my favourite can?

Something about her hot cowgirl demeanor appeals to me.
Anyway, the whole show lasted for a short 45 minutes, after a one-and-a-half hour delay. I kinda forgotten about the hair show that’s going on halfway thru. In any case, here’s the end result of one of the hair models.

The Miss Sarawak Model of the World will be decided at the Grand Final this 30th March at the Crowne Plaza.

I hope the cowgirl wins the show.

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Lee Hom Heroes of Earth Promo Tour

Chinese-American pop star turned hip-hop artist Wong Lee Hom was in town over the weekend as part of his Heroes of Earth Promo Tour.

I managed to secure two tickets to watch him perform live at the MBKS Indoor Stadium.
Note that those are “VIP” tickets. It found out later that those words are nothing but mere decoration on the paper.

The show is scheduled to start at 8pm. I chose to arrive at around 8:15pm instead. There’s really not much point coming to the venue earlier other than get a good vantage point to stand. The first 30 minutes of these kinda promo shows are always the same kinda boring bullcrap.
First, the host would desperately try to get the crowd pumped up. Then she’d invite some overenthusiastc fans onstage to poorly emulate their idol singing. These fans would then win crappy prizes such as a plastic pen, a lousy notebook, poster and – if they’re lucky – a CD from another singer that nobody else wants.

In hindsight, it probably was a good idea to come in earlier.
The pile up of cars outside the stadium was an indication, but nothing could prepare me for the horror inside the stadium. It was literally PACKED to the max. It’s a complete riot. I’ve never seen so many people squeezed into one building before, not even during the David Tao promo tour last year. Every inch of the ground was filled with sweaty human flesh.
It’s like the whole entire Kuching’s teenage population were gathering there.

I was supposed to enter the VIP area right in front of the stage which offered a bit more space, but there’s literally no space to manouvre around at all. I could barely even make it past the main entrance.
The RELA guys (government-sanctioned volunteers for crowd control) were particularly agitated that evening, screaming abuses and shoving people along the way. If you watch the video later, you might even hear it. Geez, whatever happened to anger management?
Everyone was packed like sardines and everyone was sweating profusely. For that one night, the MBKS Indoor Stadium turned into one big freakin’ giant sauna, except without the coals, or the wooden bench, or the babes in towels.

The organisers don’t have to worry about packing away these roll-out posters. They’re all gone before the night ends.

It was 8:30pm before the star of the show decides to turn up.

Clad in simple T-shirt, jeans, and a “bling” around his neck, Lee Hom appeared rather humble for a star of his stature. His simple gestures like squatting down or pointing towards the audience electrified the Kuching crowd, and they loved every moment of it.

Check out that bling he’s wearing

Lee Hom described the style of his latest album as ‘chinked out’. No, not “Chink Out” – it’s not a racial slur demanding Chinese people to go away. According to Lee Hom himself it’s a new genre of music he created, mixing American hip-hop with traditional Chinese opera.
I guess the result is what happens if 50 Cents is born a Chinese.

I’m not a die-hard fan of Lee Hom so I haven’t actually listened to his album before I came to this show. After watching him perform live, I must admit that I find his new style of music is unique, though not necessarily entertaining.

In all honesty, the whole “Hey yo, this is Lee Hom yo!” schtick is a lil annoying. His American accent doesn’t work too well with Chinese rap either.
Of course lah, the crowd still sap it all up because y’know, he’s like, Lee Hom yo. So check out mah dawg, fo shizzle 4 life.

Lee Hom did four songs before retiring backstage. He came out again to sign autographs for his latest album.
I didn’t stay back because man, with so much sweat and other bodily fluids exchanging you don’t know what you might get when you come out of the building. Sometimes I wonder why we subject ourselves to that kinda torture just to watch a star perform for less than 25 minutes on stage.

All in all, a great night out if it weren’t for the craziness of the Kuching crowd.

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Kuala Lumpur International Marathon 2006

I woke up at 3:30am that day.
A part of me wanted to give up already since I’m not used to waking up so early. With merely 4 hours of sleep and 2 weeks of training, I was desperately underprepared.

The free shuttle bus was already outside the Mandarin Court Hotel waiting to take me to Dataran Merdeka. It was dark, but I can literally feel the electricity in the air.
The Sultan Abdul Samad building was beautifully lit up. Hundreds of participants were already there. Some stretching, others rubbing generous amount of petroleum jelly onto their bodies.

Completing a marathon is a feat that require an almost superhuman effort. And I was there to represent the Average Joes.
Some people were there to win the cash prize. For the majority of us, we were there not for the money, but to push our bodies above and beyond the human limits.

It’s very easy for me to feel out-of-place in this pool of people. Everyone there is so slim and well-built, and there I was standing there with a spare tyre around my waist.
It’s even easier to separate the seasoned marathoners away from the noobs. The experienced ones all have that intimidating bad-ass look about them.
Like this trio of Mainland Chinese girls that look like boys that look like girls.

They finished at 3hr06min, 2hr53min and 2hr57min respectively.

We’re all gathered at the starting point. My mind was all cleared up. Adrenaline pumping high.

Drummers on standby.

I hung around the place quietly observing other people, drinking more water and munching on PowerBar till about 5am.
And then it’s game time.

“BANG!”

The timing chip set off a beep as I crossed the starting mat. Everyone was quickly passing through me at this point.

I didn’t want to catch up with them. My aim was to go slow and steady, keeping at a pace I’m comfortable with.

Within ten minutes, the marathon claimed its first victim.

The tarmac on KL roads were rough and lack the “bounce” I’m used to on proper running tracks, but I was still doing OK.
It didn’t take long for me to reach the 5km checkpoint. 40 minutes. That’s 10 minutes longer than what I aimed for. I had to pick up my pace.

I downed two cups of 100 Plus. Usually I don’t drink those stuff (I prefer Gatorade), but at that point in time it was the best tasting drink ever.

At 7.5km I arrived the first sponging station.
These ice-cold sponges are God-sent. I squeezed them over my sweaty head and felt instantly rejuvenated.

Click here for a clearer view of the course map.

I passed the 10km point in 1hr17mins. That was still the easy part.
My feet were just starting to hurt. The seasoned runners were all running far ahead of me and it was pretty clear that I was among the last few.

It was 7:03am when I witnessed daybreak. The KL commuters were jamming up the freeway and the CO2 emission were not doing any good to my lungs.
Still had time to camwhore though.

At this point, I overtook a female runner – a first since I started the race. For a moment, I was thinking of doing something stupid like flirting with her and asking for her phone number. Alas, I was too shy to do that so I just smiled at her cheekily instead.

The girl caught up with me a short while later and quipped “Excuse me. Are you Kenny Sia?!”
OMG SHE RECOGNISED ME! The embarrassment! San San is a reader of kennysia.com and she later finished at 5hr59min. We made some small talks before I let her continue on with the race.

Man peeing by the roadside in broad daylight.

Without a doubt, I met a lot of interesting people during the marathon, but nothing could me prepare for the shock I had when I met Mr Yap. This is one man I DEFINITELY did not expect to see in a race like this is.


THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is Mr Yap.
He is 73 years old, old enough to be my grandpa and yet still running a 42km marathon. Despite being three times my age, he still managed to finish the race at 5hr06min.
Now how’s THAT for determination?

In case any of you KL people were stuck in a traffic jam last Sunday morning, that was me trying to cross the road.

To keep my mind occupied, I attempted to high-five the traffic policemen everytime I passed one of them. Not all of them are cooperative though. KL policemen are so boring.
Or maybe I’m just too boh liao.

Definition of a heaven

3 hours into the race, I crossed the 21km halfway mark. Already I had broken my personal record for longest time spent running.
Lactic acid was building. My legs up till my knees were completely sore and numb. I wished I was doing the half marathon instead.

The course was taking us through Jalan Bukit Bintang in downtown KL when suddenly terror struck.
Cramps had attacked my calves. I stopped running and grimaced in pain. It was the most dreadful feeling I had to endure. For the first time ever since the race started, I had to completely stop and wait for the cramps to subside.
One minute seems like forever, and it was pure Hell.

A stranger passed by and handed me a tube of analgesic cream. Thanks! I probably wouldn’t even be able to finish the race without it.
We passed through some motivational placards sponsored by Nike. “There Is No Finishing Line”, “Punch Through”, “Push Myself”, “Just Do It”.
That was all I needed to mentally go ahead. The pain on my ankles, my feet, my legs were excruciating. But absolutely NOTHING could stop me from finishing the race.

I reached the 30km point in 4hr18mins. 30km is the human threshold. From this point onwards, it’s do or die.
Aches from my feet went up to my lower back. It was punishing. The pain was absolutely unbearable. I’m practically LIMPING my way though. I couldn’t run anymore or I’ll get cramps.
All I could only rely on was willpower and sheer willpower alone to get me through this.

I gritted my teeth and continued pushing myself.
I started to hallucinate.
I thought about life. I thought about my career. I thought about going to Phuket next month. I even imagined the finishing line to be at Phuket where I could just jump into the sea and relax.

For some reason, I became Hulk Hogan and began talking to myself in the Hulkster’s voice. “Watcha gonna doooo…! Watcha gonna dooo….! When Hulkamania runs wild on yoooooo….!”
Trust me, beyond 30km you think all sorts of crazy things.

The last few kilometres seem to go on forever. The sun was shining bright at this point. My legs felt as if they’ve been run through by an 18-wheeler.
It’s a torture. Pure brutal torture. Every step is like a steel pipe going through my legs. My digicam is like a brick. My shoes weigh a ton. I thought I walked 5 km but in actual fact I only walked one.
SCREW YOU ISAAC NEWTON FOR MAKING ONE KILOMETRE SO BLOODY LONG DAMMIT!

When I reached the 40th kilometre, I knew I had already missed the 6 hour qualifying time.
What made it even worse is that the drinking station that was supposed to be there had disappeared. Stupid DBKL don’t care about the last remaining competitors. 🙁

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my iPod ran out of juice. That was by far my biggest mental support and now it’s gone! I’m all alone.

KL International Marathon claims another casualty.

I was almost ready to give up when the DBKL van passed me and asked if I wanted to hop on. OF COURSE NOT DAMMIT! Tempting, but I rejected their kind offer and continued limping towards the finishing line.
I would NEVER forgive myself if I’ve come THIS far and not complete the marathon.
A roundabout later, I saw it.

The finishing line in sight! Isn’t that the most beautiful thing in the world? It was so near yet so far.
I was limping, literally DRAGGING myself as I inched closer and closer to the finishing line.
“Let me finish this race. JUST let me finish this race.” I prayed. I looked up just in time to see my finishing time on the timeboard…

… and the mat goes “BEEP!”

I DID IT. I FUCKING DID IT.
It was my first ever marathon, and I crossed the finishing line after 6hrs33mins.
A HUGE sense of relief came all over me. It was unbelievable. Euphoric. Jubilant. I could not believe myself.
THIS is what I call a natural high.
ME!? Conquering the 42km KL International Marathon!? You gotta be joking!
Nonetheless, I was very upset at myself for not making it under 6 hours. I sat under the shade, still in awe of what had just happened.
What an amazing experience.

The greatest relief in the world is when you take off your shoes after a 42km run.

Here I am, an overweight man attempting what myself and many other people thought was the impossible.
It wasn’t easy, but I pushed myself. In the end, I persevered and went on to reach my goal.
Completing this race must be right up there as one of the biggest accomplishments in my life.

Click ‘Play’ button to watch video [10 mins].

I’m not sure if I’m going to do this again. What I’m sure of is that everyone should attempt a marathon at least once in their lives.
You haven’t lived until you physically experienced the pain and sweat running 42km. That feeling you get when you crossed the finishing line – indescribable.

Impossible is nothing and nothing is impossible.
The following day I returned to Kuching a brand new person, with a renewed confidence, ready to take on the world – as soon as my legs are healed of course.

If I could do it, there’s no reason why you couldn’t do too. 😉

Continue reading

Preparing For 42km

Look at me.

I am not built to run a marathon.
I never denied the fact that I’m overweight. I am fat. People teased me about it all the time.
It comes to a point where I’ve learnt to accept the fact that I have a different set of genes from others. Sure, I’ve tried the usual dieting and exercising routine.
It works to a certain extent, but I’ve never gotten my body down to the point where it can be considered “slim” by society’s standards.

When Eddie challenged me to sign up for the 42km KL International Marathon, my immediate instinct was to turn down his offer and check him into the nearest mental hospital.
It’s 42km, Kenny. Not 4.2km, but FORTY-TWO FREAKING KILOMETRES.
That’s like the distance from Kuching to Serian. From KL City to KLIA. From Boon Lay to Pasir Ris along the whole damn East-West MRT Line.
No chance in HELL would I be able to finish that race.

I don’t know why I chose to accept the challenge.
Must be my ego. Maybe I’m inspired by people much older than me joining the marathon. Or maybe I figured I would never know if I never tried.

Regardless, I am grateful to experienced marathoners Eddie and Francis for their invaluable tips, as well as the hundred over commenters who had given me words of encouragement.
Special thanks to my sponsors who made this trip financially possible.

I arrived KL on the eve of the marathon. My friend and celebrity wedding photographer Kid Chan was generous enough to pick me up from KL Sentral to collect my timing chip and number.

I am A0120. Hurry and get your 4D tickets now! 😀

Before heading back to the hotel, I stocked up on more nutritious food I needed for the race: yoghurt drink, bananas, and something called PowerGel.

PowerGel is some weird-ass endurance food in disgusting slimy/gooey format that marathoners seem to like. It’s highly concentrated in electrolytes and it tastes absolutely horrible. The best way to describe the taste of PowerGel is “caramel-coated diarrhoea”.
It looks like shit, feels like shit, tastes like shit.
Here’s what I did in the days leading up to the marathon.
Training

I had only 2 weeks of serious training. Most people spend months or even up to a year training for their first marathon. Every day after work, I “walked” between 30 mins to an hour. That’s peanuts compared to the real thing.
Eat

I did what’s termed “carbo-loading”. A week before the marathon, all I had for lunch and dinner was pasta, pasta, pasta. For endurance athletes, carbohydates is the human body’s preferred source of energy. It makes perfect sense to load up on the carbs before a big race, like Malaysians loading up their petrol tank before the 30c price increase.
Shave

Hair causes friction, and friction causes bleeding. Before the race, I had to shave off my armpit hair and yes, even my pubes down there.
I feel like I’m 7 years old all over again.
Music

I compiled a whole 8 hour playlist on my iPod consisting of a mix of upbeat music like Rock, House, and Hip Hop. None of those angry Eminem songs though – I don’t wanna punch the other contestants during the race.
There’s some great “pick-me-up” songs on the list, like:

  • Nelly – Shake Ya Tailfeather
  • Jay Chou – Huo Yuan Jia [“Huo huo huo huo huo huo huo huo”]
  • Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On

Sleep

That’s the only thing I could not get enough of. By right I should be getting 8 hours of sleep, but whatever I do I just could not adjust my sleeping pattern to wake up at 5am.

The night before the race I only had 4 hours. I did make it to the starting point in time, only with sleepy eyes, and mouth still yawning. That is NOT what you want to do before you’re about to take part in a 42km race.
That’s the reason I felt my preparation wasn’t adequate.

How did the race go? Did I make it? Did I finish all 42km or did I buckle and collapse halfway through?
Well, I’m not gonna talk about the marathon today. Tune in tomorrow for the exciting sequel on kennysia.com. 😉

Continue reading

The Night Before The Marathon

I was planning to update tonight, but it’s 10pm now and I need my sleep – the race starts in 7 hours.
My pre-marathon preparation isn’t quite adequate, but I plan to give it a shot regardless.
I’ll update this page tomorrow afternoon after the race.
Wish me luck. I need it.

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