I know I hadn’t updated for quite a while.

The whole trip to London has been quite a frenetic mix of drama and fun. I’m enjoying every minute of my time over here, although I certainly wished I had a bit more free time to explore the sights of this amazing global city.

I’m staying in the borough of Islington, north of the city and not far away from Arsenal Football Club’s Emirates Stadium. Unfortunately Arsenal is not playing at their home stadium this weekend. Of course, that certainly didn’t stop me from wearing my Chelsea jersey around town, although I must say I got a few angry stares from diehard Arsenal fans in the pub.

Preparation for Tiger Translate is more or less going well underway. The Eastern and Western artists met each other on Wednesday. For the past two days they have been working hard on their Tiger-themed East-meets-West collaboration.
The up-and-coming artists representing ‘The East’ are Udisha Kumar from India.

Ben Qwek from Singapore, Mee Wong from China.

Badral Bold from Mongolia.

And Andreas Kjaergaard from Denmark.

Representing ‘The West’ are Pure Evil, best known for his dark sarcastic artwork.

HiCalorie, with his signature cute and cartoonish illustration.

Street graffiti artists EINE and Monorex. all of them high profile underground artists from the UK.

A number of media from Asia has descended onto London for Tiger Translate. Myself and Dawn Yang both specially flown in to blog about the event.

London, in particular the suburb of Shoreditch, seems like the perfect city to host this arts event. The art scene here is simply amazing. Londoners have a great admiration of creativity and people who can think outside the box.

Over here, street art is appreciated, not abhorred. Wall graffiti is seen as a form of beautification, not vandalism. A lot of credit goes to the artists themselves, who spent immense amount of hours and effort creating these images.

Yesterday, we had a first-hand look of the artists beginning their collaboration work.

EINE (UK) and Andreas (Denmark) were given a piece of transparent perspex glass. On one side, EINE painted “LONDON’S CALLING” with his signature block letters. On the other side, Andreas contemplated how to respond to that.
“If London is calling, what is it saying?”

In a carpark not far nearby, Pure Evil (UK), Ben Qwek (Singapore) and Mee Wong (China) began transforming the iconic London black cab into a product of their collective imagination.

The tree has very different artistic style. Pure Evil style is always sarcastic and sinister. Ben’s artwork involves a lot of fairies and mythical females, whereas Mee Wong’s style is always somewhat feminine and sexual.
It’s gonna be interesting to see what the black London cab is gonna turn into.

Meanwhile, back in the studio, the clash in artistic differences is becoming even more obvious.
Badrul (Mongolia) and HiCalorie (UK) were showing each other their portfolio. HiCalorie showed Badrul all the cute cute cartoons that he has done.
Badrul on the other hand, showed him this.

Badrul doesn’t speak any English. But through a translator, he explained to HiCalorie that the picture is a collection of female vaginas, which he represented as sea shells!

Together with Udisha (India) and Ben (Singapore), this long piece of canvas will eventually be morphed into a work of art.
With four artists from four drastically different background working on it, no one knows for sure what the finished artwork is gonna look like.
Is Badrul gonna draw a vagina on HiCalorie’s teddy bear? I dunno. But we shall see tomorrow night at the main event! 😛

One thing for sure, these artists are incredibly talented. And for unknown artists like Badrul or Mee Wong, Tiger Translate just might be the platform they’re looking for, to propel their artwork from hazy obscurity into mainstream acceptance.

And that’s what I call, a good Tiger! 😉

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Passport – checked. Pound sterlings – packed. Travel guide to London – read.

Yes, I am jetting off to London to escape the recent spate of ISA arrests, learn about “agriculture” and perhaps drink some beer in the process.
No lah, I’m lying. I’m just going to London to drink beer, attend an arts festival, enjoy live music and look at artists from different parts of the world coming together to squeeze their collective creative juices.

The festival I’ll be attending in London is called Tiger Translate.
Tiger Translate is an initiative by Tiger Beer to showcase the work of the best undiscovered artists from Asia in the fields of visual art, graffiti, photography, music, fashion and illustration.

Tiger Translate Auckland

Previously, this festival was held across the world at such luminous global cities as New York, Berlin and Beijing. London is their seventh stop thus far.

Tiger Translate Berlin

But there is one thing that sets this festival apart from the rest. The essence of Tiger Translate is the intense focus of cross-cultural collaboration between East and West, and an opportunity for the Asian artists to work with high profile international artists in their respective fields.

Pure Evil’s (UK) intepretation of Heath Ledger’s The Joker

The way it works is like this.
A couple of weeks before going to London, up-and-coming artists from Asian countries were introduced to their more well-established counterparts from the international arena.

Udishma Kumar for India submitted this entry and got himself selected as a Tiger Asian Kinetic Artist (AKA) for Tiger Translate London

The two artists would NOT have met face to face. Instead, they have to communicate via e-mail to discuss how to transform something ordinary like a sofa, a fridge, or a lamp into extraordinary pieces of art.
Imagine a street artist from Mongolia teaming up with a sculptor from Denmark, or perhaps a computer graphic animator from China producing a music video for a UK rock band.

An Australia-China collaboration that fetched a cool price tag of USD$10,000!

The Asian and international artists are only gonna meet each other four days before the public showcase when they all fly in and gather at the host city of London. Then, with the limited amount of time and possibly language barrier that they have, the two artists must work through day and night to complete their collaborative artwork in time for the grand finale.
Kinda like me finishing my last minute assignments back in Uni.

Street art by Monorex (UK), one of the international artists

A stellar line-up of British artists have already been introduced, featuring EINE, Monorex, Hicalorie and PureEvil. They are set to collaborate with unknown Asian artists from China, Mongolia, India and Singapore found through a series of intense competition over the past few months. The artists will finish their work in front of a live audience on the night of the grand finale. Meanwhile a rock band and DJs will crank up the party mood.

Normally art fests are held inside some snobbishly pretentious art gallery right? Well, not this one. 🙂
Of all places, the grand finale of Tiger Translate London will gonna be held inside an abandoned CARPARK at the fashionable district of Shoreditch, London.

This unusual venue is where the artists will showcase their finished artwork, a reflection their intepretation of East-meets-West. Then we can all drink Tiger Beer, admire the artwork and listen to live music. There are gonna be some fun stuff to do as well, like creating a mosaic effect on a wall, and get this – leave a graffiti on the iconic black London cab!

If there are any kennysia.com readers in London, of course you guys can come down and join us at the event next Saturday. It’s free of charge after all.
Besides, this is perhaps your only chance of vandalising a cab without going to jail for it.

The theme for Tiger Translate London is VOYAGE.

And it’s about time for me to finish this entry and rush to the airport for my VOYAGE to London.

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Still reeling from the excitement of the MTV Asia Awards this past weekend.

Although I did not get to watch the show inside the live arena, there are still plenty of moments of highlights for me. The MTV Asia Awards definitely tops the list of the most memorable events I attended this year.
Here are some more photos I did not managed to post up during my 7-hour-long live blogging on Saturday.

Apparently there were two Red Carpets. One for VIPs to go front of house, and the other for artistes that goes backstage.
We were waiting at the VIP Red Carpet for over an hour before we realised that it was unusually quiet for an international awards show, so I rushed to the correct Red Carpet 15 minutes after it started.

The Jabberwockeez. I got their name wrong the first time because to be honest, I’ve never even heard of them!
They’re a dance crew from the US who won a dance contest, and now they get to travel the world attending awards shows like these.

VJ Mike doing the Red Carpet with two lovelies. Oh how I wish to be in his shoes one day.

Without a doubt, the biggest name on the Red Carpet is The Pussycat Dolls.

They received the biggest cheer from the crowd, and deservingly so.
No, the police makcik on the left is NOT a Pussycat Doll.

The lead Pussycat Nicole Scherzinger pimping it for MTV.

Immediately following the five-member all-female band from the US, is Super Junior, the eight-member all-boy band from Korea.
The girls are all going nuts over them. Why lah do girls like pretty boys so much.

This is Super Junior, grabbing an imaginary boob.

I wonder, when Super Junior eventually get to like, 70 years old, are they gonna change their name to Super Seniors?
Hmmm.

MTV fans on the other side of the barricade. You guys really made my day lah.
I was there to snap photos for kennysia.com, but these guys spotted me and started chanting my name! It was an awesomely kick-ass moment for me, because I don’t get acknowledged like that very often. Somemore so many stars were there to outshine me.
One reader even caught me doing the live-blogging thing on my HP Mini.

It was a highlight of my evening but also kinda awkward because I don’t know how to react to that.

The Click Five came out next.
That’s when the fans bastardised their hit song Jenny and instead sang, “Kenny, what’s the problem?”

I know what’s the problem.
Me not being able to get into the show, that’s the problem!

HK superstar Karen Mok and US superstar Jared Leto spent at least 20 minutes on the Red Carpet, taking photos and shaking hands with fans.
The two hosts received the biggest reaction from the crowd after the Pussycat Dolls.

I’ve always been a fan of 30 Seconds To Mars, the band fronted by Jared Leto, so to be able to watch him in person was a major “fanboy” moment for me.

I have always imagined him to be more cool, mysterious and reclusive, suited to the type of angry rock music that he plays.
Surprisingly Jared Leto was warm, friendly and very charismatic. No wonder the girls love him.

Hong Kong superstar Karen Mok spoke exceptionally good English without that annoying accent that plagued most actors from Hong Kong.

She is surprisingly petite. And also very skinny.
She is so skinny, she made Cheesie look fat.

The most elegantly dressed star on the Red Carpet is British sensation, Leona Lewis.
I don’t think I remember seeing her at the after party. I think she took the award and left.

Irish band The Script was definitely at the after party. Too bad they didn’t pick up any award.

The Script is not very well-known here, but whilst everyone else were behaving a little full of themselves, The Script vocalist Danny is possibly the most down-to-Earth person among all the international artistes attending the awards.
You shall see why later. 😉

Singapore’s Favourite Artist Stefanie Sun, came bopping down with band Electrico.

She also signed my autograph!

Panic At The Disco came along with that big bald burly bodyguard of theirs.
The bodyguard made his presence felt at the after party, stopping people from getting anywhere close to the stars.

Favourite Chinese Artist Lee Yu Chun came, took her award and left.

My ex-CHMS No 1 schoolmate Nicholas Teo also came, took his Favourite Malaysian Artist award and left.

To be honest, I’m kind upset Nicholas Teo did not acknowledge me eventhough I attempted to speak to him twice. First on the Red Carpet, thenin the Media Room afterwards.
I’m not sure if he’s pretending not to recognise me or if he really does not remember me, but I think that’s the kinda overprotective attitude most Taiwan-based pop artists are expected to have.
That’s very unfortunate, because it seems to insinuate that pop artists are on one level higher than than normal folks.

It’s unlike OneRepublic, who have no qualms acting goofy and poking fun at themselves.
Personally, I thought the awards show was kinda short. Security stopped checking for passes halfway through and I could sneak in if I want to. I was ready to pack my bags and leave the Media Room, but just when I was about to do so, they abruptly announced the end of the show!
It was only 2.5 hours long from start to end!

Heck, it was boring as hell being stuck in the Media Room the whole evening while the live show was going elsewhere.
Thanks to a certain mythical winged creature, I was lucky enough to get passes to the official after party.
There I met beauty queens Adelaine Chin and Levy Li.

One is Miss Malaysia Universe 2007 and the other is Miss Malaysia Universe 2008.
Since I’m in the middle, does that mean I’m Miss Malaysia Universe 2007.5?

I managed to slip into the VVIP lounge.
There, I took a photo with Jared Leto, who had a hard time trying to enjoy the party because too many damn people was trying to take photos with him.
I spent the rest of the evening pretty much mingling with the usual bunch of people I mingle with in KL.

Now, something very juicy happened at the party.
See, I’ve always heard that rock stars always get groupie action whenever they travel abroad, but I never really believe any of that is true. That was, until last Saturday night.
I’m not gonna reveal any names because: (a) that girl is a friend of a friend, and (b) I don’t wanna jeapordise my chances of going to exclusive parties in the future.
Suffice to say, there was some hot and heavy action inside the VVIP lounge at The Coffee Terrace involving a leading member of an overseas band and one of our local chicks! And not just any chick – this one is a pretty damn hot chick!

This was what I saw.
First, they were sitting on the couch together. They were talking. She was flirtingy stroking his leg with her foot. Then they kissed.
Next moment, she was throwing one leg him and they kissed further, passionately, licking her tongue all over him like he’s a 7-Eleven Slurpee.
Then came the eye-popping moment.
This girl literally climbed on top of our international rock star, straddled across his lap and proceeded to suck his brains out!

Not them, but you get the idea of how it’s like

Bear in mind, this was in full view of people around them. Whoever said Malaysian girls are conservative have obviously never been to an MTV Asia Awards after party. 😉 I don’t think I need to second guess what happened afterwards.
All I can say is, I’m sure my eyes are not the only thing that “popped out” that evening.
But enough about them. Here’s something a lot milder, a lot less scandalous, but still a highlight of the event for me.
Earlier I wrote that Danny, vocalist from The Script, is the most down-to-Earth international artiste at the MTV Asia Awards.
This is why.

I’ve been kissed, BY A MAN!

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9:35pm – Show is over! Stefanie Sun won Favourite Singapore Artist. Linkin Park won favourite international artist. Party now. Blog later!

9:15pm – Finally, they’re presenting the award for Favourite Artist Malaysia. The nominees are…
Faizal Tahir
Nicholas Teo
Pop Shuvit
Dato Siti Nurhaliza
And the winner is…

NICHOLAS TEO!
Kuching pride man, Kuching pride! You did us proud Nicholas.
For creating a whole new style of their own, now presenting The Innovation Award . The nominees are…
Kayne West
Goldfrapp
Gwen Stefani
Radiohead
The winner is… RADIOHEAD!
Presenting Breakthrough Artist . The nominees are…
Daughtry
Leona Lewis
Mika
OneRepublic

The winner is… LEONA LEWIS!

8:50pm – OneRepublic just came and have their photo taken.

Now presenting the award for Favourite Artist Indonesia. The nominees are…
Andra & The Backbone, Mulan Jameela, Nidji, Yovie & Nuno.

And the winner is… Yovie & Nuno!
Too bad I never heard of them. NEXT!
Presenting Favourite Artist Taiwan. The nominees are…
Jolin Tsai
Mayday
S.H.E
Show Lo
And the winner is…

Show Lo! What a name.
To reward the artist with the best music video, presenting Video Star award. The nominees are…
30 Seconds to Mars – A Beautiful Lie
Fergie – Clumsy
Justice – D.A.N.C.E
Panic at the Disco – Nine in the Afternoon
And the winner is…

30 Seconds To Mars!

8:20pm – They’re presenting the award for Favourite Artist Thailand. The nominees are…
Bodyslam
Groove Riders
K-OTIC
TOR+ Saksit

And the winner is… TOR+ Saksit!
Now they’re presenting the award for Favourite Artist Hong Kong. The nominees are…
Andy Lau
Eason Chan
Joey Yung
Leo Ku

And the winner is… LEO KU!
They’re presenting the award to recognise best collaboration between two artistes. For Best Hook-up, the nominees are…
Avril Lavigne feat. Lil Mama – Girlfriend
Beyonce feat. Shakira – Beautiful Liar
Rihanna feat. Jay-Z – Umbrella
Timbaland feat. OneRepublic – Apologize

And the winner is… Timbaland feat. OneRepublic – Apologize!

The Script is now performing “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved” live. I wish I were in that arena!

7:55pm – Karen Mok was presented with the MTV Asia Inspiration Award to recognise her humanitarian efforts.

Ok, I’m sitting here at the designated Photo Room watched the live award show on television for the past one hour.
We were told that the winners will come to the Photo Room after they won their award, but so far only the Favourite Artist Mainland China has turned up to have her photo taken.

And she doesn’t even look happy receiving the award!

7:48pm – They’re presenting the award for Favourite Artist Mainland China. The nominees are…
The Flowers
Lee Yu Chun
Wang Feng
Yang Kun
And the winner is…

LEE YU CHUN!
Award for the best live concert, Bring Da House Down – The nominees are…
Christina Aguilera – Back To Basics Asia Tour
Linkin Park – Linkin Park Asia Tour
Muse – Asia Tour
Black Eyed Peas – Black Blue and You Tour
And the winner is… MUSE!
Panic At The Disco grabbed the edc Style Award.

7:43pm – Presenting Favourite Artist Korea. The nominees are…
Big Bang
Girls Generation
Super Junior
Wonder Girls
And the winner is…

SUPER JUNIOR!

The Click Five has also won The Knockout Award. I’m guessing it’s some sorta appreciation award.

7:20pm – These ones are for you Diana!

Panic At The Disco, led by frontman Brendon Urine Urie.

The Script, known for the song “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved.”

7:00pm – Finally I got a breather from the crowd! The main event is about the start, and I’m having lunch in the press lounge right now.
A few more photos from the red carpet that has just ended.

One Republic stopped and stared.

Kuching’s very own Nicholas Teo.
So ironic. Fifteen years ago, if I wanted to see Nicholas Teo, all I gotta do is walk across the next classroom.
Now if I want to see Nicholas Teo, I have to squeeze among the press to get to the red carpet.

Stefanie Sun, nominated for favourite Singapore artiste.

Karen Mok and Jared Leto, the two hosts for the evening.

6:00pm – Nicole Scherzinger signing an autograph for me.

And here’s her autograph!

The scribbling underneath her is by another Pussycat Doll. Neh, the less famous one.

5:58pm – The Pussycat Dolls!

5:47pm – Leona Lewis in the house!

4:38pm – The Jabbawookiez has arrived the Red Carpet.

3:38pm – The red carpet area, before the invasion of media, screaming fans and glamourous celebs.

I’m a little upset because I am denied access to the actual awards show.

I only managed to get access to the red carpet and photo room, which on the bright side, is better than nothing I guess.
Caught a glimpse of OneRepublic rehearsing “Stop And Stare” in the Arena of Stars.

Security promptly chased me out 2 minutes later.

2:34pm – The media and mosh-pitters are gathering right now to collect their passes.

JoyceTheFairy, Jason Goh, Michael Yip and Liang are here as well. The mosh pitters are practising their cheering, screaming their lungs out.
Rumour has it that there was a mass walkout staged by the local media during the press conference yesterday due to unfair treatment by the organisers.

1:24pm – I’m here at Genting to attend the MTV Asia Awards 2008.

I will be trying something new tonight. During the MTV Asia Awards, I will be blogging LIVE from the scene.
This is how my equipment is hooked up for the job: the HP Mini connected to the HTC Touch Diamond, accessing the world wide web with Maxis 3G.

Beginning 6pm tonight, kennysia.com will be updated regularly with photos from the scene and winner announcements every few minutes. It is my first attempt at live blogging. If all goes well, you’ll be reading exclusive live coverage on what is going on at the awards ceremony, right here on kennysia.com, before they’re even being published anywhere else.
This is not the end of my entry. Check back regularly for updates later. 🙂

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So Chelsea F.C. pretty much came, kicked our boys’ asses and left.

Without boring you with too much text, here’s a quick review of their time here in Malaysia.
On Monday, I interviewed Chelsea’s reserve goalkeeper Carlo Cudicini.

It was an nerve-wrecking experience for me, because I was only told last minute about the interview and didn’t have much time to prepare for any questions.
Security was extremely tight. I was shoved into a room together with three journalists from other media.
Carlo’s publicist accompanied him and instructed us to take turns asking him one question each.

I’m guessing the other journalists present were serious people from serious sports magazines, because throughout the whole interview, they kept asking him boring questions that everybody know the answers to.
Questions like “What are your aims this season?” (to win), or “If given a chance, would you play for other clubs?” (yes, if the money is right)
I was sitting there thinking, “Why so serious?”

After some initial easy-going questions to warm up, I decided to lighten the mood by asking him a slightly more fun question.
This was given to me by a kennysia.com reader. I asked Carlo, “Is it true that footballers are banned from having sex before a big match?”

He shook his head and refused to answer.
Carlo Cudicini snubbed me!
Never mind, so I asked him another question. “In your long career, have you ever been offered a bribe to throw away a match?”
SNUBBED. AGAIN.

Watch how the Chelsea goalkeeper reacted to my inappropriate questions

So that was my lousy interview with Carlo Cudicini.
I suck big time interviewing famous people.

Later in the afternoon, I hopped over to the adidas store in Pavilion where a yet-to-be-known football player was to make an in-store appearance and sign autographs.
It was meant to be an exclusive event reserved for invited guests only. But of course, word got around easily and before you know it, there was CHAOS outside of the adidas store.

Something funny happened here while I was there.
A kennysia.com reader in the crowd spotted me and asked me to sign him an autograph. I obliged.
Thinking I was some kinda big shot, the girl next to him also asked me for an autograph. Then, just as she was passing her pen to me, I overheard her asking loudly, “Actually who is this Kenny Sia har?”
Before you knew it, close to 20 people who most likely don’t even know who the hell Kenny Sia is were shoving their pens in my face, frantically asking me to sign autographs.
I promptly walked away as fast as I could. But it was so nice pretending to be a celebrity for just one second.

Here are the real local celebs: Christien New, Ninie and Kevin Zahri.
After my initial disappointment with Carlo, I was surprised when the mysterious Chelsea F.C. player who turned up at adidas was none other than…

MICHAEL BALLACK!

“What’s the fuss?”

“Blueh.”

Finally, a superstar footballer!
Too bad, security was once again as tight as a fish’s arse. We queued up like schoolchildren, moving quickly and was awarded with Michael Ballack’s holy scribbling.

This is Lavin Seow holding up her Ballack autograph. And that is Daphne Iking in the background.
I know they’re hot, but don’t even think about it guys.
Those two are married moms!

Immediately after Ballack’s in-store appearance at adidas, we headed off to the official Chelsea training session.
David drove me from Pavilion in Bukit Bintang to Shah Alam Stadium, which took us nearly TWO freaking hours thanks to KL’s peak-hour traffic.

It’s interesting to watch the waay professional footballers train. They closed off half the pitch, split into the team into two and played a regular match.
Despite it being just training, them footballers were totally into it.

“Where’s the ball?”

Halfway through Chelsea’s football training, suddenly it looks as if they were dancing.

“Yea baby, I think I can dance.”

“May I have this dance?”

“He hits the floor!”
“Next thing you know!”
“Shawty got low, low… very low.”

The training session was one of the rare chances I get to take photos of the Chelsea players really close.

Ivanovic tackles Ben Sahar Di Santo.

Frank Lampard playing with his ball.

The players after their training.

29 July 2008, the main event: Chelsea F.C. vs Malaysian Selection.
It was pretty clear from the start who is gonna win this match.
This is Chelsea Football Club’s super-long bench.

And this, is Malaysia’s bench.

*cues cricket sounds*
Where the hell is everyone? What ever happened to Malaysia Boleh!

The match was not quite the walkover everyone had expected.
Considering Chelsea’s previous matches in the Asian tour was 4-0 and 7-0, I think our boys put up a damn good fight against The Blues.

Deco trying to find an opening in Malaysia’s strong defence.

Joe Cole attempting a goal for Chelsea.

Our boy shocked at the size of Lampard’s Lam Pa.

At the end of the first half, the score was Chelsea 1 – Malaysia 0.

Deco heading back to the locker room during half-time.
Luckily Deco is not from Kuching. In Hokkien, “Deco” means “underwear”.

It was half-time. Unfortunately, we did not have sexy cheerleaders or Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson entertaining us during this interval.

Instead, we were treated to the beautiful views of footballers doing their stretching.

Holy cow, that’s Super Mario!


Have you called Mohan yet?

At the opening of the second-half of the match, things started to get pretty rough.

There were a lot of aggressive tackling, shirt-tugging, “accidental” punchs in the face and various other fouls committed.

All in all, I must say my first live football match was an entertaining one.
The energy being part of over 55,000 screaming fans was just unbelievable. As one, we collectively cheered when someone scored a goal, and drew a heavy sigh when someone narrowly missed. It was definitely an experience not to forget.

Sadly, at the end of the 90th minute, our team has to face the reality of losing 2-0 to Chelsea.
I shall conclude this photo essay with a topless photo of captain John Terry.
This, my friend, is the difference between someone who plays football.

And two people who don’t.

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Finally, Chelsea Football Club has arrived in Malaysia!

A lot of readers have been anxiously awaiting for my interview with Luiz Felipe Scolari.

The thing is, I have been unable to get on the phone with Chelsea coach, and he has yet to even reply my e-mail interview! Bugger Scolari, kennysia.com too small fry for you is it!?
Doesn’t matter, because there are still plenty of things to get excited about.

Earlier today, 24 players from Chelsea’s first team took the chartered MAS flight from Macau to KL.
Among the elite 24 are Chelsea and England captain John Terry.

Scolari’s first catch for Stamford Bridge, Deco.

German national captain, Michael Ballack.

Star midfielder, Frank Lampard, one of England’s highest-paid football players.

Also in town are of course, Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech, winger Joe Cole and defender Ashley Cole.

Notably missing from the 24 is notorious troublemaker Didier Drogba.

Maybe he already got a red card before he even boarded the plane to KL.
The Blues are here to play against Malaysia in Shah Alam Stadium this coming Tuesday at 8:45pm.

It’s a rare oppportunity for us to witness one of EPL’s Big Four in action before the official EPL season starts next month.
Word has it that exclusive official merchandise will be specially flown in for sale on match day. 😉

Today (Monday) from 4pm to 5pm, the team will be at the adidas store in Pavilion KL for autograph signing session.
Later in the evening at 6:30pm, the team will move to Shah Alam Stadium where they’ll be doing their warm up for their upcoming match. Those with the training passes I gave out earlier will be able to meet and greet the players after they have finished.

And of course, tomorrow night is Chelsea’s match day against Malaysia.
Somehow I get the feeling that there will be more blue shirts in the audience than yellow. Poor Malaysian footballers.

kennysia.com is one of the official media partners for the Samsung Chelsea Asia Tour 2008.
Last night, I attended the press conference at the Palace of the Golden Horses.

Luiz Felipe Scolari was there, and he fielded questions from the hundreds of journalists from various news media in attendance.
Most of the journalists there asked football-related questions, like “What’s your strategy against Malaysia F.C.?” or “Why do you pick this player over that player?”

When I finally managed to grab hold of the mic, I seized the opportunity and asked Scolari a non-football related question.

“Mr Scolari, I noticed that you speak many different languages. Have you picked up the Malaysian language and can you say to us a few words?”
This was how he responded.

Next, I’m gonna teach him say KNNCCB.

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I hate to be honest.

Pinkpau was not happy

But the Rainforest World Music Festival was a sore disappointment this year.
I didn’t mind that the ticket price has gone up from RM60 two years ago to RM90 this year. The major problem everyone had was that the venue was awfully muddy due to heavy rainfall on the first day.

It’s difficult to get into the mood when your ankles were immersed in four inches of soggy wet mud. The organisers tried alleviating the problem by covering the surface with wooden saw crumbs, to no avail.
Then there’s the problem of hooligans.

I’m all for partying hard and going crazy at events such as these, but terrorising other revellers by throwing mud at them is definitely NOT cool.
It didn’t help that the mud has a disgusting stench that smells like a yoghurt mixture of vomit, sweat and somebody’s severe case of diarrhoea.

That being said, the music on display was once again quality stuff. I especially enjoyed the skilful percussion acts from India and Japan.
Those ethnic musical instruments are all very unique.
And then there’s this guy from Congo.

“Do you want to play with my instrument?”

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The fever has barely died down weeks after Spain became Euro 2008 champion, and already football fans have something to look forward to.

One of the biggest clubs in the English Premier League, Chelsea Football Club is coming to Malaysia.
All the stars: Michael Ballack, Ashley Cole, Joe Cole, John Terry, newly-signed Deco are all likely to coming to Shah Alam Stadium as part of their pre-season Asian tour.
And here’s the kicker (no pun intended).
ProEvents, the company responsible for bringing Chelsea to Malaysia is asking me to speak to all-time legendary football manager and Chelsea’s new coach, Luiz Felipe Scolari.

My phone interview with Big Phil is scheduled to be on the 21st July, when he brings The Blues to Guangzhou, China to play against the Chinese national team.
This to me, is an opportunity of a lifetime. It is not gonna be easy interviewing the legend who has been in football for so long, and done so much, including bringing Brazil the World Cup. How am I gonna start the interview?
Which is why I am putting the call out there to all kennysia.com readers.

Please help me interview the Chelsea coach Felipe Scolari.
Leave me a comment with your questions. On the 21st July, when I get my chance to talk to Felipe Scolari. I’ll ask the question on your behalf.
As a token of my appreciation, 12 of you who asked the best questions will be rewarded with two match tickets to watch Chelsea vs Malaysia at the Shah Alam Stadium on the 29th July.

So here’s your chance to ask Scolari everything that you ever wanted to know about him, football, or the EPL in general. You can ask him anything you want.
Which player does Scolari wanna recruit the most?
Why do football coaches do that funny dance everytime their player made a mistake?
And why do football players always run away so fast after they scored a goal?
Is it because when they SCORE, they must LARI? Is that why his name is also SCOLARI?

Please help me interview Scolari. You ask the questions, I’ll pass it on and I’ll give you some free match tickets.
Go on, the floor is yours!

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It was such an honour.

Thank you to everyone who voted me to become your 2008 CLEO Most Eligible Bachelor of the Year.
I also would like to thank my fudder, my mudder, my brudder, my sistur and all my flengs out there. Without your support, I would never stand on stage as one of the finalists in this beauty contest for men.
Unfortunately I did not win.

That title deservingly went to Bachelor #8 Brian Lau.

Sorry.
Of course lah, I never expected to win anything anyway.
Everyone was out to put on a good show and have a good time, and we’ve certainly achieved that. Everyone had a rocking evening at Zouk last Friday. Not to mention, the girls who came that night were all superbly hot and dressed to kill.
The unofficial dress code for the night were tight dresses and very very very very short skirts.

Kudos to the coordinators from CLEO magazine for putting together this fantastic show.
For one, it’s not an easy task getting 50 grown men listen to you. When you said “LINE UP!”, you get 25 bachelors obediently lining up, while the other 25 bachelors were just laying around without a care in the world.

When you said, “Odd number stand to the left. Even number stand to my right”, you get questions like “Har? What odd? What even?”
It was worse than giving instructions to a bunch of kindergarten kids.

I kept remarking to the guys backstage about how unmanly it is that a bunch of straight guys like us are joining this beauty contest for men.
All the bachelors have this ridiculous facial expression when they put on make-up.

Bachelor #1 Bonnie Arthur de Souza

Still, the guys were great fun to hang around with. Despite the fact that we are all fighting to become Malaysia’s Most Beautiful Man, the atmosphere backstage was like one big frat party.
It was really weird.
One moment, you see us macho men doing girlie stuff like putting on make-up, foundation and lipstick.

Bachelor #10 Afiezan Shah getting his hair done

Next moment, you see us flexing our muscles, talking about masculine stuff like paintballing, mountain-climbing and drunken sex parties overseas.

Bachelor #10 Afiezan Shah, Bachelor #15 Jasvinder Singh and Bachelor #29 Afshin Helmitabrizi

But seriously though, and I say this in the most non-gay way possible, the guys in the CLEO’s 50 Most Eligible bachelor list are all really hot.
One look at this bunch and I know I have no chance of winning.

Look at those CLEO hot knockouts getting ready to put on a show!
I thought I might have a chance against Bachelor #42 Johann Lim with his funny moustache.

But most people would still say he’s better looking than me.
Anyway, Johann didn’t tell me exactly what character he’s playing that requires a funny moustache like that. Maybe it’s for a Malaysian version of The Godfather. In that case, the official title of the show would be “Ayah Angkat”.

Last year’s winner for CLEO Most Eligible Bachelor of the Year, Christian Neal Capes, came up to me backstage and gave me his personal stamp of approval.
It’s quite an honour to be endorsed by last year’s winner, but I told him there’s really no chance I am ever gonna win despite my large readership. There are 49 other guys all so much more beautiful than I am.
If there’s a category for Most Cuddly Bachelor, I will win for sure.

This is the editor of CLEO Malaysia, Lynette Ow.
I half-expected the editor of Malaysia’s most popular female magazine to look like some middle-aged high-school teacher barking out orders every 2 minutes. What a surprise to see her holding such a stressful job, yet still managed to look so young, hot and sassy.

Babes galore!
Stephanie Chai and Christy Yeoh dropped by for support. With hotties like that in attendance, we’re all winners already.

Emcee of the evening and Mix.fm DJ Serena C with her pouty lips dangerously close to mine.
Christian Neal Capes in the background making sure there’s no contact.
I seriously have no idea why he pulled a face like that. He looked as if somebody stepped on his balls.

Cheesie, fresh out of the Malaysian Dreamgirl house after losing quite a bit of weight, but still looking better than ever.

Su Ann is so on the roll! She came to support me for CLEO Bachelor Bash on Friday night, left for Bangkok early next morning, returned to KL only on Tuesday night just in time to support me again for our Malaysian Dreamgirl Grand Finale!

There were cheesy one liners aplenty throughout the evening.
During our opening gambit, each bachelor has to go up on stage to introduce themselves, followed by some corny pick-up line. My favourite was Adam Lobo’s, “You know the reason for global warming? That’s because I’m too hot!”

Musician bachelors #3 Ebi Kornelis and #6 Adam Lobo chilling backstage

My line was “I know I’m a little bit chubby… but that just means there’s more of me to love!”
Dry humour, I know. But that’s Kenny Sia for ya. 😉

For those who were there, thank you for the defeaningly loud cheers that night, especially to naeboo who virtually screamed her lungs out.
That girl went all out and screamed “KENNY SIA! YOU MADE ME WET MY PANTIES!!!!”
It made me even more nervous ok.

Renee, my MMU Melaka prom date, knocking me out

Anyway, like I said, I didn’t go home with the big prize or win any subsidiary titles.
I know this sounds loser-ish, but it’s not all about winning. The important thing is that everyone had a good laugh watching the bachelors making a fool out of themselves with their stupid acting and their bombastic dance moves during the interactive games they play with the audience.

The game I had to play was called “Private Video”. I have no idea why I was assigned for this game, but that’s probably my punishment for making fun of Chua Soi Lek. In this game, I had to dance with a girl from the audience to Madonna’s Vogue, in the most ridiculous fashion possible.
Anyway, I tried searching online but I couldn’t find any photos of me dancing. Must be because I did so badly until people are too horrified to react.
Still, a friend noted that I got the loudest cheer among the crowd. Whoa! That in itself was a big enough reward already. At least I know there is now hope for fat boys like me joining beauty contests.

The fantastic night ended pretty early around 12 midnight. One thing for sure, I’d like to see more bloggers joining CLEO Bachelor next year!
Nomination for the 2009 CLEO 50 Most Eligible Bachelor is now open, and I’m pretty sure there are heaps of good potential in the Malaysian blogging community.
Like this guy right here.

HINT: Timothy Tiah. You should join.

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There is only one person in this whole world who could make me feel less bad about being a fattie.

Here’s a guy who could walk into Zouk one and a half hours too late, sing for just 30 minutes, and then leave with hundreds of teenage girls still gasping for breath and their panties halfway hanging.
It doesn’t matter the fact that he is big, black and looks like the size of five Kenny Sia all combined into one. As soon as he opened his mouth and sang his “You’re way too beauuuuutiful girl”, instantly all his sins are forgiven.

Despite the hot crowd reaction, I gotta say Sean Kingston’s performance was disappointingly a lacklustre affair. The guy brought along two backup rappers, four bad ass bodyguards and one deejay onto stage just for his piss weak 30-minute long “concert”.
It was so bad, it made me… “Sui-ci-dal. Sui-ci-dal”. Until I wish it’s over.

The botak guy with the tulan face on stage is Sean Kingston’s body guard

Come to think of it, it was the DJ he brought in that did most of the work entertaining the crowd.
The DJ played all of Sean Kingston’s music complete with pre-recorded vocals. All Sean Kingston did was rap on top of the tracks the DJ played. Please lah, you calling that a concert?

When Sean Kingston gets hungry, he eats microphones

Since the concert was held in Zouk, I thought after the event, Sean himself might do the right thing and hang around the club to interact with the crowd a bit more.
But noooo. Immediately after the concert, Sean Kingston was no where to be seen.
My guess is that he had probably “moved to the tropics, sip pina coladas”. And he didn’t even bother to “take me there.”

Still, although the “concert” was bad, I gotta thank Hotlink and their excellent PR team for sending me the invite to this event. At least I know what a lazy overrated slob Sean Kingston is now.
The only saving grace about Sean Kingston’s whole 30-minute-long World Tour concert?
Watching that huge gigantic round blob actually DANCE on stage.

Me love.

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