I was walking around Watson’s in Sarawak Plaza today, and guess what I found?
That can’t be… United Colors of Benetton CONDOMS ?! For the uninitiated, United Colors of Benetton (or UCB) is a clothing company group based in Italy. The brand is famous for its young adult clothes and bags. For them to produce condoms?! That’s really kinda odd.
Curious, I plonked RM9.90 and purchased a box of UCB condoms right away. The box comes with 6 condoms, which works out to be RM1.65 per fuck. What a bargain!
The UCB condoms come with a green wrapping with overprints of the United Colors of Benetton logo. Because of its designer brand name, I’m pretty sure it would make any girl all horny and say something like “Put that on you and put it in me… RIGHT NOW!”
On the reverse of the wrapper, it says “Manufactured by Okamoto Industries. Made in Japan. Exp 2008/03”. Japanese condoms! So, it must be good, right?
All the condoms are lightly lubricated and all comes in green. I’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure its not meant to make your male member look like some sort of vegetable.
This is how much the reservoir teat of the condom can hold. Honestly speaking that’s not very much.
I pulled a bit too hard when I was removing the condom, which resulted in condom breakage – an undesirable effect. So much for Japanese condoms huh? At least we know what that says about Japanese penises.
Unwilling to accept defeat, I pulled out the Galliano bottle.
And this is the Galliano bottle, now fully protected against all STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
So, should you try it? My advice is this: If you have a small and thin penis like the Galliano bottle, you could perhaps impress your female partner by using this designer branded condoms. (Meanwhile, you might want to pray that Louis Vuitton does not release some RM500 LV monogram-printed condom or something like that.)
But if you’re big like ermm… like me, don’t use UCB branded condoms and just stick with Durex or Ansell ok? 🙂
A Place Like No Other
The sign says “Welcome to Sarawak – A Place Like No Other”.
I left Kuching when I was 14. I studied in Perth for 7 years and worked for a year after that. During that period of time, I had spent very little time in Kuching. I was complaining that Kuching has very little to offer. I think most people who have been to big cities like KL or Singapore would agree with me. Kuching is the biggest city in East Malaysia, yet it is does not have what other big cities have. That’s why when Coffee Beans and Kenny Rogers opened in Kuching, everyone went crazy.
But how do we measure how much a city has to offer? Is it by the amount of franchised shopping and food outlets? Is it by the amount of highways or the number of *sniggers* toll booths?
Nicole and I were in Sarawak at 5:30pm drinking caramel latte from Coffee Bean. It took us 45 minutes to travel from there to Hui Sing Garden, when normally it would take no more than 15 minutes. Traffic congestion is hitting Kuching the way it hit KL.
People are getting irritated. Despite the city council spending taxpayers’ money trying to improve roads with big visible monuments like the three flyovers, traffic is still an issue. Meanwhile, taxpayers’ money were spent on building a nicely architectured South City Council building with nice manicured lawns near Lumba Kuda. Nowadays people are scared of being mugged, and I’m surprised the “decision makers” have not yet come under fire for failing to reduce the alarming crime rate.
Why do we have to treat politicans like royalty when half the time they treat us like shit? I really hope that Kuching can be different. I hope that it can really be a place like no other. Unfortunately, Kuching is slowly turning into another KL.
Logitech MX1000 Laser Cordless Mouse
I am a big fan of Logitech. In fact my computer desk is cluttered with more Logitech products than any other stuff. Their products are always sleeker, cheaper and simply better than many of their counterparts. To date I have had Logitech webcams, PC gamepad, PC flightstick, PS2 gamepad, keyboards and mice.
Recently however, my precious Logitech MX Duo decided to die on me. So I called up Logitech support and they replaced it with Logitech LX700 which I absolutely hated.
The first thing I did was to chuck the mouse away. Whilst Nicole was in KL I asked her to make a trip to Thundermatch to get me the Logitech MX1000 Laser Cordless Mouse.
The mouse comes in a beautiful Logitech green-and-white packaging. Inside you can find the usual suspects such as the power adapter, cordless receiver/docking station, a USB-PS2 adapter and of course, the laser mouse.
The MX1000 is slightly bigger than most computer mice (and slightly smaller than most household rodents). Despite that, the contour of the mouse fits my palm perfectly. There’s a nice deep indent for the thumb which helps prevent sore thumbs commonly associated with prolonged mouse-stroking. A plethora of special mouse buttons placed at intuitive locations secures the MX1000’s place as the one of the most comfortable mice available on the market.
Obviously the biggest selling point of the mouse is the use of laser as the tracker instead of the now ubiquitous red LEDs or *sniggers* balls. The laser is invisible to the human eye, but it can be detected by my digital camera as a white-purplish light.
Logitech claims the laser manages to ‘see’ the surface detail 20 times better than conventional optical mice. However, in my normal usage I have yet to detect any incredible improvements. I have also found out that I am unable to reach the ‘forward’ button and the ‘cruise up’ button without manoeuvring my wrist slightly.
The laser technology is nothing to shout about. However, I willingly paid RM305 for a solidly constructed mouse that has plenty of useful buttons and sleek curves.
My advice: if you have any mice from Logitech’s MX series, stick with it. Otherwise, if you have the cash to burn, get the MX1000.
Snake Sighting!
Yesterday, Nicole and I were walking back home from Kenyalang. I was at the gate of my house when coincidentally my mother arrived in her car as well. Just when I was about to press the door bell, my mother yelled out that there’s a snake behind me! Nicole shrieked and ran away, whilst I was looking around for the snake. Guess what I saw?
A two meter long green fella slithering down the wall to the meter box!
Judging by its colour I wouldn’t be surprised if its poisonous. Maybe its because I’ve watched Anacondas one too many times, but I visualised that it might leap out and take a chunk out of my neck or something.
Obviously that did not happen (otherwise I wouldn’t be here!) . Our little green friend happily crawls away into our neighbour’s garden, preying on its next victim. Could it be you? Heh heh heh…
Nicole has landed
Nicole arrived in Kuching yesterday. I picked her up from the airport wearing the same dark blue shirt I wore when I first met her.
It is quite amazing to think that we have already been through 4 years together. Like all relationships ours started out steady and strong. We were young and we were carefree. We had the feeling that all we need is each other, and nothing in the world could tear us apart.
And then reality sets in. The dreaded word ‘responsibility’. Domestic responsibilities, parental responsibilities, financial responsibilities among other things. You start to think if it is her that you want to live with for the rest of your life. You start to think if she is the one, despite your parents reminding you how young you are and how many other opportunities you can have.
Signs of crack in our relationship began to show ever since Nicole went to Gingin. She returned to me a different person, she built a wall around herself and became someone that is no longer as likable. In critics’ eyes (ie. my family), her stocks fell rapidly. There was once a time when my parents supported her through and through. My parents liked her and she had no problems mingling with my family. Those time has passed. And now I’m beginning to find it difficult to stand up for her.
Nicole will be here for 5 days. She has said that she wanted to come here to visit my father. I just hope that she used her time here to mend the fallen bridges. I still love her, but we need to make things work as I will not betray my family’s wishes just to be with her.
Welcome to kennysia.com!
Hello readers and welcome to kennysia.com. My name is er… Kenny. This site will serve as my blog, as well as a point of communication between me and my friends.
I would like to think of myself as a normal boy born in a normal family leading a normal life. But if the life I’m living is normal, I shudder to think what is special and out-of-the-ordinary.
I am starting kennysia.com when I am faced with one of the most difficult period in my life. In the coming days, I shall be exploring the inner workings of my mind, and begin the journey of re-discovering myself. So please bookmark my blog, and find out why routine isn’t exactly normal.