I am that guy who hates memes that requires tagging someone in the end, like the recent Se7en meme.
I am that guy who still thinks memes are cool, voluntary ones only.
I am that guy who likes to eat ayam.
I am that guy who, other than being exceptionally good at Maths, never thought I was anything special in high school. I am that guy who lived on an AUD20 a week allowance. I am that guy who didn’t have a mobile phone. I am that guy who didn’t drive a sports car. I am that guy who was repeatedly rejected by girls I liked.
I am that guy who once thought that I’m never ever gonna have a girlfriend because I’m just not part of the cool gang.
I am that guy you kicked out from the chatroom the first time you talked to me because you thought I was being hamsup. I am that guy who talked to you till 7am in the morning that night.
I am that guy you asked to pretend to be your boyfriend, just so you can ward off unwanted attention by guys you don’t like. I am that guy who didn’t stop being your boyfriend since then.
I am that guy who stepped on your foot the first time I met you. I am that guy who didn’t want to hold your hand because I was shy.
I am that guy who bought 90% of all your soft toys. You are that girl who bought 100% of all my soft toys, eventhough I am a guy and I’m not supposed to even know how to appreciate soft toys.
I am that guy who had to put up with you giving each of your soft toys a name, a gender and an identity.
I am that guy who rejoiced when you told me you’re coming to Perth to study.
I am that guy who frequently made you grilled chicken chop for dinner. You are that girl made me omelette for breakfast, at least until you decided sleeping is more important than making breakfast for me.
I am that guy whose life turned into a living hell because you couldn’t get along with my mother. I am that guy who still wished the two of you could be nicer to each other.
I am that guy whose mouth you shoved a chocolate into when I was halfway telling you I’m trying to lose weight.
I am that possessive bastard who broke up with you because I caught you smoking once. I am that same bastard who changed my mind the very next day.
I am that guy who told you I didn’t like being asked to buy you extravagant gifts. You are that girl who smiled as you pressed on my nose playfully, treating my face as an ATM machine.
I am that guy whose 2-year-old nephew you adore, whose 9-month-old niece you dote on.
I am that guy who gave you more silly nicknames than a dictionary could give.
I am that jealous asshole who forced you to stop seeing B eventhough he made it clear that he was just a platonic friend.
I am that guy who rolled you up in your comforter and called you a kebab.
I am that guy who encouraged you to work in Gingin to earn some cash while waiting for your permanent residency to be approved.
I am that guy who got upset when you returned from Gingin a different person. You are that girl who told me you needed your own personal space, and that we should see each other less often and meet more people. You are that girl who told me that, knowing full well I was about to leave Perth for good.
I am that guy who left you all alone in Australia, three days after your permanent residency was approved.
I am that guy whose father passed away. You are that girl who flew in the next day to be by my side, to give me strength.
I am that guy who spent half the time of our relationship physically apart from each other. I am that guy who never spent a single Valentine’s Day by your side.
I am that guy who sometimes wonder if we’re ever meant to be. I am that guy who fear we couldn’t survive this perpetual long distance relationship.
Yet, I am the guy who cherish every single one of those five years that we spent together.
Yes, I am that guy who gave you those tulips sitting on your table.
And on this day, I am just that guy who wanna say to you, “Happy Birthday, Nicole.”
Singapore Trip Videoblog
While trawling through my photo collection, I noticed I had recorded a few video clips from my two Singaporean trips a few months back but I never really bothered to put them up. There’s nothing too interesting about them, but I’m still gonna post them up for the sake of documentation.
Some of the things you can expect to see in this videoblog:
Super ultra realistic tanks blowing each other up like CRASH!!! BANG!!! BOOOOOM!!!
Wanyi’s singing prowess!
Sizzling pseudo-erotic display by the bellydancers from the Singapore Bloggers Convention! All the guys there saw it, and they gave it a three thumbs up. (Don’t act dumb and ask me where the third thumb is, ok.)
Audio of someone squealing orgasmically while watching the Singapore National Day fireworks! I leave it up to you to guess who exactly that person is.
‘SarongPartyGirl’ Izzy lashed out against bitched about viciously attacked shared her profound thoughts on ‘Xiaxue’ Wendy Cheng.
Also featuring the mysterious Cowboy Caleb’s voice!
Clarke Quay’s seedy underground dance scene!
The recently unmasked Scarlett Ting and Sassyjan showing off their heartbeat-accelerating, nosebleed-inducing, uber sexxxy dance moves! Hot damn! Anything sexier and it’ll have to be classified as softcore pornography.
Actually I was just exaggerating, but you’ll never know if you don’t check out the video.
Download hi-quality video here. (WMV format. 13 mins. 52MB.)
Swee Mei Beauty Saloon Review
Swee Mei Beauty Saloon is this very old barber shop along Jalan Sekama that’s been in operation for as long as I could remember. I’ve been getting my haircut there since I was a young enough to have to sit on an elevated wooden plank. Almost 20 years later they’re still cutting my hair.
I kept going back there not because I like them, but because its becoming such a habit I didn’t bother going anywhere else. It wasn’t until much recently that I decided to get my hair done at other hair salons and I’ve neglected Swee Mei since then. In fact, my last visit was probably around 12 months ago.
Feeling a little nostalgic, I dropped by one day to pay them a visit.
This is the inside of the barber shop – the messy desk, the stench of lubricant, the mat on the chairs, Aaron Kwok on the radio singing ‘Dui Ni Ai Bu Wan’. Waliew, its like stepping back into the same barber shop 20 years ago.
Check out their tools. Screw those shit they use in modern hair salons. Swee Mei uses brushes and talcum powders and freaking BRYLCREEM! That’s 100% old school, baby. I don’t know what Loreal what Schwarzkopf wtf lah.
Swee Mei is too cool for that crap. They use Brylcreem and Brylcreem only, just like David Beckham. Until he went botak.
Heck, they are so old school, even their prices are the same as they were 20 years ago. How they manage to survive in this day and age of inflation and rising petrol cost, I have no idea.
Here’s a shot of me desperately in need of a haircut. My apologies for the bad lighting indoors. The Canon dSLR camera isn’t mine, but its the same one I borrowed to gatecrash the Miss Tourism Pageant. Note the Bloggercon T-shirt I was wearing, compliments of the Tomorrow.SG crew. 😉
Meet my barber. He’s still my favourite among the usual three in the shop. I’d like to introduce him, but 20 years of having my hair cut by him and I still have no idea what his name is. I just know him as the Ah Pek on the second chair in the barber shop.
Ah Pek is a genuinely nice guy alright. Every year, for 8 years, I’d returned from Australia and he’d attempt to strike up a conversation with me in Hokkien. And every year, for 8 years, our conversations would be the exact same topic.
Ah Pek: “Lu ding Orh Jiu tak chek hor?” (You’re studying in Australia right?)
Kenny: “Si lor.” (Yeah.)
Ah Pek: “Tak hamik?” (What course are you doing?)
Kenny: “Tak kar ji peng eh gao hor siang eh.” (I’m doing the equivalent of level 9 over here.)
Ah Pek: “Oh… Orh jiu ji zhong eh ti si jing leng hor?” (Oh… it must be very cold now in Australia isn’t it?)
Kenny: “Bo lah. Ji zhong jing juak leh.” (No lah, its damn hot right now leh.)
Ah Pek: “OH! Si ar hor. Orh Jiu ga Tiong Kok si toh peng eh!” (OH! That’s right. The seasons in Australia and China are opposites of each other!)
Kenny: “Mmm… tiok loh” (Mmmm… Correct.)
*awkward silence*
Anyway, I always tell my hairdressers to “Feel free to do whatever you want to do with my hair. Be creative.” But there’s no need for me to tell him to do that. As soon as my ass touch the seat, Ah Pek would start the session by spraying excessive water all over my head like I’m a potted plant.
After trimming most of my hair with an electric trimmer that smells like its been soaked overnight in motor oil, he picked up a huge pair of scissors and began cropping my hair slowly and carefully. His modus operandi was once again, the same as it was 20 years ago, except now the scissors is becoming blunt and squeaky, and his hands are shaking uncontrollably like he has Parkinson’s.
I requested for a shampoo like I always do at modern hair salons. Ah Pek politely declined, informing me that the shampoo girl grandma has gone home so I decided to let it go. Aiya, I don’t think I want to let him to shampoo my head lest he breaks his finger bones when he massaged my scalp.
I was getting my hair happily when suddenly Ah Pek stepped on a pedal on my chair and made me fall on my back. Skarly he pulled a knife out no where and held it against to my neck. I got so scared my balls almost shrank.
Actually I’m just getting an old-fashioned shave lah. Before Gillette comes along, this is how real men shave.
Ah Pek didn’t use any shaving foam, just some soap water to lubricate my chin with a bristle. He shaved everything he could shave too – my chins, sideburns, my face, my neck, monobrow. No lah not my chest hair. No aftershave afterwards either, just Vicks Vaporub to soothe the burns. He even trimmed the hair inside my nose and cleaned my ears with a cotton bud. So nice.
I know all these sounds very gay lah, but Ah Pek is so fatherly you wouldn’t even think about it. Anyway, 30 minutes later and this is how I look like.
Ya, I’m very shocked too. Nabeh, like I’m wearing a helmet right? I think I’m just a pussy moustache away from looking like Mr Adolf Hitler. I wonder if Desperate Addict is still gonna like me after this.
Still, at RM8.00, cannot complain lah. Its just an old-fashioned barber shop. How to compare right?
So, what do you think?
Matta Fair
MATTA is an association for Tour and Travel Agents in Malaysia, and the MATTA Fair is a twice-a-year expo where travel agents get to sell air tickets and tour packages at some ridiculously low price. Theoretically anyway.
I popped by the Matta Fair earlier yesterday to book my tickets to Perth. A return air ticket to Perth costs me RM1500 (tax inclusive), which wasn’t as cheap as I hoped its gonna be. They were going out for less than RM1000 last year.
Most European and American destinations are about RM3,000 after tax which means I can pretty much forget about my European backpacking dream. There are some extremely good deals at the fair though. Phuket is RM608, and Hong Kong is just disgustingly cheap at RM708 return.
I almost laid down the deposit to fly my ass to Hong Kong next January, but I realised I won’t be able to afford accomodation over there. Cheapest I could find is a 3-star hotel that costs almost RM250 a night in Kowloon. Bloody expensive ok?
Anyone have any suggestions on accomodation in HK that does not involve a cardboard and the sidewalk?
Tourism Malaysia had a nice booth, but it was the Singapore Tourism Board who showed up at the fair in full force, along with their flat plasma screens and the works. Too bad the only thing they seem to be promoting is everyone’s favourite budget hotel chain.
Man, I can’t wait for my two dreadful projects to finish. I got two getaways penned down in October: a trip to Shanghai early October to visit Furong Jiejie for business (let’s hope they don’t ban kennysia.com in China), and then onto Perth on the 13th October to visit friends and family. So tired from overworking right now I’d prostitute myself to get me out of the office.
Nothing beats a well-deserved holiday after 3 continuous days of slaving yourself 16 hours straight at work.
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Mooncakes
Legend has it that many years ago, Hou Yi the Archer became separated from his wife Chang Er the Moonwalker after she swallowed a magical pill that made her float to the moon. Four thousand years later today, sad heartless people like us still celebrate their long distance relationship by eating mooncakes.
I cannot help but to be intrigued by Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf’s signature range of mooncakes, featuring specially-made mooncakes with ingredients like espresso, green tea and such.
I happen to pass by the one and only Coffee Bean outlet in Kuching on my way to work every morning that eventually I succumbed to temptations and bought myself a box to try out.
Don’t be fooled by the advertising material stating that it costs only RM32 because RM33.60 is its actual price. I hate it when I prepared the exact change at the counter only to be told I was RM1.60 short because their prices are subject to compulsary 5% govt tax. Dammit, how difficult is it to incorporate the tax DIRECTLY into your menu prices? Not everyone can do differential calculus in their head to calculate how much money a mooncake costs after tax, ya know?
That said, I quite like the packaging of the mooncake. The box is made of wood and it locks into place beautifully by a mechanism featuring the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf’s logo. The inscription in front is some lame Chinese poetry on flowers falling and how round the moon is.
Here are the mooncakes, chilled and sealed to ‘gerengtee’ freshness. The refrigeration had a side effect of making them hard and flaky, instead of soft and chewy like it should be.
Unfortunately, the mooncakes are disappointingly small. Each piece is only about 75g which makes it about 1/3 the size of your average garden-variety mooncakes.
I picked the ‘Soothing Green Tea Mooncake’ first and took a bite off it. Its looks pretty but the taste is nothing to shout about. The aroma of green tea is there but it was too subtle to detect. Definitely too sweet for my liking.
This is the ‘Mochalicious Mooncake’ and its my first ever taste of a coffee-based mooncake. The whole thing, including its crust, is made with mocha flavouring. Like the green tea variety, the effect was too subtle and the excessive sugar unfortunately somewhat spoiled its flavour.
Next up, the ‘Chocolaty Coffee Crunch Mooncake’. I noticed I hit a hard spot when I sliced the mooncake. Turns out that Coffee Bean had put real whole coffee beans in this one for its crunchy effect. I like it. It starts out with sweet chocolate paste slowly followed by nice aromatic coffee aftertaste to round out the effect. The result was fantastic!
Now here’s my favourite – the ‘Ultimate Espresso Mooncake’! This must be the weirdest mooncake I’ve ever had. Imagine them taking whole espresso beans and blend it into a paste for their mooncake. Its something like that, bitter and all. I took a bite off it and the caffeine effect was like WHOA!
A lot of people probably wouldn’t like this variety, but like drinking macchiato without sugar, eating an espresso mooncake is an acquired taste. Personally, I love it.
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf’s mooncakes are a nice deviation from boring red bean and lotus seed paste mooncakes. Despite it being so expensive, I say its still worth a try if you’re on a lookout for something different this Mid-Autumn Festival. Mooncakes are notoriously high in lard and sugar so just remember not to overdose on them lah.
Otherwise if you eat too much mooncake, your face will also become round like mooncake.
Rash
For some strange reasons, I woke up yesterday morning with bumpy red spots all over my arms.
I took off my shirt and discovered a lot more of them on my body. Man, those babes last night were wild!
Initially I suspected I might be allergic to the dusty environment where I’ve been working at these past few days, but that couldn’t be the case since I was fully clothed at work (duh) and I’ve got rashes all over my body. Then I went to see the doctor and he said he suspected virus. But I scanned myself with Norton Antivirus and I turned out clean leh. Stupid doctor.
The rashes aren’t particularly itchy or anything. They’re just ugly as hell.
I wish I could tell you red polka-dotted skin is the latest fashion statement right now, but the fact remains that I got some weird ass skin disease. 🙁
Sugar Free, Common Sense Free
This is Murray “Sugar Free” Chocolate Cookies. It is imported all the way from USA, the land of milk and honey, and the land that brought us weird things like Britney Spears and Michael Jackson. It looks just like any other sugar free chocolate cookies on the market.
Those cookies caught my eye, not because I was hungry. (Errr… remind me to get back to the gym once my project deadlines are over.) It was this little warning message printed on the front of the packaging that drew my attention.
I checked to ensure I was holding a pack of cookies and not a pack of cigarettes before I put it the item onto the shelf. I’ve seen warning messages in bold printed on cigarette boxes before but hell, I sure never seen them printed on a pack of COOKIES!
I could see why they do it though. Products like these are made to fool fat people health-conscious individuals like me into parting with our hard-earned cash just so we enjoy eating ‘normal’ food without the guilt.
Nowadays its just too damn difficult to go on diet even with ‘healthy’ products like these on the market. There’s not a lot of things you can eat. Sugar Free doesn’t mean Fat Free; Fat Free doesn’t mean Carb Free; Carb Free usually means they taste like a pile of waxy dog crap; and the only thing that’s Sugar Free, Fat Free AND Carb Free is like, water.
Weight-loss is such a big money business in a lot of countries and people are buying these products expecting them to work miracles. Trust Big Brother to step in and give these so-called “healthy” food the cigarette box treatment.
Patriotism Misunderstood
(continued from last entry. I took a lot of time editting this entry before I publish it because I have to particularly careful with what I say and how I say it. The end result is not exactly what I wanted but I’ve copped enough shit already and I don’t need more.)
This post today is not about me joining in on some childish mudslinging match between Singapore and Malaysia. I was just inspired to write this entry after observing how my fellow Malaysians react when negative aspects about our own country are being highlighted.
I’m grateful that Malaysia is a peaceful nation and, when compared to the many war and famine strickened countries around the world, we should really feel happy with what we got. There’s been all these talk about racism in Malaysia, but I’m appreciative of the fact that I keep my Chinese last name, practise our own religion and celebrate Chinese New Year. In addition, I think Badawi is doing a fantastic job so far (not being sarcastic here) though I’m afraid I cannot say the same things for our other leaders in the parliament.
That said, Malaysia is not perfect. I acknowledge the fact that Malaysia is a developing nation, and that it still has a long way to go before it realises Vision 2020 (if ever) and becomes on par with the first world countries.
There are a lot of things not right about our country. ‘Efficient’ government departments, ‘zero’ corruption, ‘excellent’ public transport system, ‘fair’ tertiary education scholarship criteria, ‘not enough’ race-based political parties and so on, being the few of them. And the feeling I got is that majority of Malaysians, the younger ones in particular, either don’t care about it, don’t know about it, or worse, don’t want to hear people talking about it.
When F (note I said F, not X. They’re two totally different people) wrote a list of Malaysia’s flaws on her blog in an entry titled ‘Negaraku’, I’m surprised she got flakked for it eventhough a lot of what she said is true.
Maybe its to do with the fact that she’s a Malaysian living abroad. Maybe its the way she used another country as an example of “how things are done right”. But among other things, she was called ignorant, superficial, even a traitor for dissing her own country. Someone made an interesting comment on her blog saying Malaysia’s biggest flaw is not teaching its citizens to accept it for its flaws.
Wait a minute, Why should we accept the flaws of this country? Are we saying that we should accept handbag-snatchers, dirty streets and crazy-ass traffic officers seeking a contribution to their retirement fund as the norm? Of course not.
I’m just disappointed that there are people I know who’s saying we should all just shut the fook up and quietly eat all the crap being thrown at us JUST because that’s what we grew up with and that’s the way things work around here. I mean, if I were to follow THAT advice during my fiasco with the Malaysian Customs, I’m probably never ever gonna get my money back.
No, I will not let you screw me in the ass just because that’s the way things work around here. If you’re being unfairly treated because of some stupid policy, stand up and speak up for yourself. Challenge the authority.
What everyone ought to remember is that love for the country is very different from love for the government. A lot of shits we had to put up with are the direct result of both the government’s lack of planning/lack of foresight/lack of common sense and some uncivilised citizens. Keeping our cities clean is everyone’s responsibilities, but how many people actually follow that principle?
We should ALWAYS love our country because patriotism is a virtue. We should ALWAYS be proud of the Malaysian flag because it is our identity. But we should NEVER EVER accept snatch thefts as the norm. We should NEVER condone corruption as part of the Malaysian culture. And above all else, we should NEVER stop challenging the government to work for its people. Each of us citizens have a part to play to make Malaysia a better place. One of the ways we can help is by talking, or as some people put it, ‘complaining’ about the issues.
There’s nothing wrong when other countries are being used for comparison. I’m not saying those who’ve been overseas are holier art thou. Hey, we all learn from other people’s successes and failures – that’s why we study history, that’s how we grow. Don’t be too fast to shoot down someone, especially a fellow Malaysian, and accuse them of dissing our own country just because another country’s name was mentioned. More often than not, it’s after staying overseas and observing the ways things are being done elsewhere that we realise how things could be better done with our own country.
Of course, one has to be reasonable when it comes to this.
I’m not gonna compare Malaysia’s hot, humid and rainy climate to Australia’s clean fresh air across four seasons because we are not Gods and we cannot change the weather. I’m not gonna bitch about how, in an effort to boost birthrate, the Australian government gives AUD3,000 (that’s RM8,500) to the parents for each baby born (it’s true), whereas the Malaysian government gives you nothing more than a pat on the back and a “Well done!” because I know its silly to compare Malaysia’s cash reserves to that of a first world nation.
However, I’m gonna bitch about how in Malaysia ‘courtesy’ was an alien word to people working at the cashier counters before Starbucks came along and taught us how to smile and say ‘Hi’ to our customers, and not just stare and follow them everywhere when a customer walked into their shop like how some shopkeepers do because they’re afraid you’re gonna steal their stuff. I’m going to bitch about how in some countries, people study overseas because their results are too poor to get a scholarship into local universities; whereas in Malaysia, people study overseas because their results are too good to get a scholarship into local universities.
There’s a limit though. I’m all for weeding out the negative aspects of our country but not at the expense of losing our Malaysian culture and identity. I mean, if the VCD seller at Petaling Street starts speaking to me in perfect English I’m probably gonna slap him.
I’m an optimist and I think, with the exception of a sad few, that most Malaysians love their country, including F. Home is where the heart is and so far I haven’t yet met any Malaysians who is so ashamed of our own country they had to introduce themselves as Mongolians.
I think Malaysians in general just don’t like to hear criticisms about their own country. Everytime we hear someone mentioning something remotely negative about our country we automatically go into defensive mode and attack the person making those comments. Frankly, I think that kind of attitude is sad. If that’s our idea of patriotism, then I think we’re pretty much screwed.
So all I’m saying is this, people: Be proud of Malaysia and love your country. Just don’t love it blindly.
Die Die Both Ways
This entry is getting too long but its 4am now and I need my sleep, so I just snipped it in half. I’ll post up Part 1 today and Part 2 tomorrow. Keep in mind that I’m on semi-hiatus now and I’m not gonna put a lot of effort on my entries till my project is over. There won’t be much lameass jokes or photoshopped pictures to spice up kennysia.com so apologies in advance.
Until then, please bear with me. 🙂
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There’s been a commotion going on in the blogosphere lately involving some of my friends.
It all started when F (a Malaysian living in Singapore) posted a harsh-but-true entry on why she thinks Singapore is a better country to live in compared to Malaysia. Around the same time, X (a Singaporean living in Singapore) posted an entry after her unpleasant trip to Kuala Lumpur. This in turn resulted in a barrage of equally harsh counterattacks on both F and X by some irate KL residents, including M (a Malaysian living in Malaysia), V (a Malaysian living in the UK) and S (a UK tiger living in Malaysia).
Coincidentally, a few days later, two of the above people had their period. While all these is happening, I (a Malaysian with an Australian permanent residency living in Malaysia who likes Singapore but wants to live in Perth until he’s ready to settle down in Kuching when he’s older) wisely chose not say anything because when it was so close to National Day tensions ran high. And besides, hell hath no fury like female bloggers with PMS.
As a result, a lot of people were left wondering which side of the fence I’m sitting on. For the record, I’d spoken to X before she posted that entry and I know what exactly she’s trying to say. I’m not offended. I know for a fact she means no malice, though I have to admit the way she wrote it left the door wide open for misintepretation. But when M, V, S and many others took that piece of misinterpreted information as an insult to the city they resided in, I don’t know whose side it is to blame.
And frankly, I don’t care anymore because this whole thing is degenerating into a kindergarten mudslinging match quicker than I can say “Stop fighting, children!”
Attempts on my part at trying to reconcile the two usually resulted in inspirational conversations like this over MSN.
(note: not actual conversations and words are grossly exagerrated.)
M: your friend X is a bitch.
K: oh come on. she was just writing about her trip.
M: how can you say that? don’t tell me you weren’t offended by what she wrote!
K: i’m not. it’s a fact she was molested, she got cheated and she had an overall bad experience.
M: well YOU TELL HER there are other ways to approach the situation than to ridicule the whole of KL. she could have written in a more polite manner than to dish out insults against the whole KL! do u think that’s ok? i live in KL and i’m offended!
K: but but but…!
Later in the day.
X: your friend S is dumb.
K: I think if you changed the title of that entry from “KL pretty much sucked” to “My KL trip pretty much sucked” you could’ve saved yourself from a lotta trouble.
X: that is not the point Kenny! I did not even insult the WHOLE of Malaysia! I merely said the KL people I SAW were rude and these ppl took it so personally when they attacked me like i murdered their mothers! your friend M even called me a dog. do u think that’s ok? screw u kenny, i am so disappointed in you.
K: but but but…!
In Chinese, we call this situation “die die both ways.”
World Toilet College
I’m not sure how many people read this article from ChannelNewsAsia.com. Trust me, I tried to keep a straight face reading it, but I failed miserably.
I thought I’ve seen everything, but a toilet college!? Incredulous!
Heck, I didn’t know there’s even a World Toilet Organisation based in Singapore until I read that article. But make no mistake about it, funny as it is, the World Toilet Organisation (WTO) is a legitimate organisation that aims to promote hygiene and sanitation in public toilets. They even got their own website at worldtoilet.org!
I clicked on their website and saw this.
EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT! My Big Bird laughed so hard it fell off. Almost.
Anyway, you gotta pity the World Trade Organisation for sharing the three-letter acronym as the World Toilet Organisation. Imagine what the families of their employees are gonna have to put up with.
Mrs Lim: “Ehhhh… hello Mrs Yee! How are you doing today?”
Mrs Yee: “I’m fine! How’s your husband har? He found a job already or not?”
Mrs Lim: “Yah! He’s now working for the WTO!”
Mrs Yee: “Wah! WTO! World Trade Organisation ah?!”
Mrs Lim: “No lah… World Toilet Organisation. :(”
I think there’s gonna be weirder conversations when the World Toilet College (WTC) gets up and running.
Jimmy: “Hi guys!”
David: “Eh Jimmy, long time no see!”
Ah Leong: “Yah man, I heard you went to Australia. What you studying there, man?”
Jimmy: “I’m at Melbourne University. Majoring in Computer Engineering.”
David: “I’m doing my Bachelor of Laws at NUS right now. Majoring in Property Law.”
Ah Leong: “WAH!”
Jimmy: “Where you studying now, Ah Leong?”
Ah Leong: “Oh… I’m studying at World Toilet College. Majoring in Advanced Shit Management.”
I think things are gonna get real interesting.
Well, there is a lot of speculation what the World Toilet College is gonna be like, but nobody seem to have any specific details. No one knows who the lecturers are, what the facilities are like, and so on.
Now, thanks to very reliable inside sources (ok lah, it was just the cleaning lady at my office), I managed to get my hot little hands on some never-before-seen, exclusive, top-secret photos from inside the World Toilet College.
Remember, you’ve seen it first on kennysia.com. 😉
Here’s what the inside of their world-class state-of-the-art lecture theatre looks like.
The graduation ceremony.
To save on costs, the certificates are printed on toilet paper in “special brown” colour.
I’m sure enrolment numbers will jump wildly as soon as the World Toilet College begins operation.