Went to have my blood test done last week.
I was sick and a couple of people had commented that I was displaying symptoms of dengue fever. It’s a possibility since the Aedes Death Squad has been spotted spraying fumes around my work area. To be safe than sorry, I went to the lab to find out what’s wrong with me.
Settled for the RM270 option for a full blood test with all the bells and whistles. Like most men, I’m scared shitless when it comes to having foreign objects poked into me, needles or otherwise. Hey, if they’re gonna poke a needle in me, might as well make it worth my while right?
Anyway, I got my report back yesterday in a spiffy gloss little folder. Yea, that’s what you get for RM270. A glossy folder.
I’m an AB positive. According to some dodgy Japanese blood-type personality test, that makes me cool, controlled, sociable and popular. Yeah, right.
Good news is that I’m pretty healthy overall. Red and white blood counts are normal – no dengue. In fact, no signs of any forms of diseases. Blood glucose is low. Good cholestrol is high, bad cholestrol low.
The bad news is that I got an overdose of protein in my liver. Attribute that to my meat-arian lifestyle. Should I do something about it or should I not? I lift weights so I need all the protein I could get.
I’m impressed by how comprehensive the report is. They’ve even tested my urine and tell me stuff like what colour it is.
Yeah, always wondered what the colour of my pee was.
I love it how they described it so elegantly, as if it was wine.
“2006 Chardonnay, light with earthy undertones.”
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While at the Rainforest World Music Festival, I attended this workshop by the Malaysian Dhol Federation on this energetic punjabi dance called bhangra.
It was damn difficult ok! Who said Indian dance is all about screwing the light bulb on one hand and patting the dog on the other hand?
It’s more like screwing the light bulb on one hand, patting the dog on the other, making a turn, doing Bruce Lee and having an epileptic fit all at the same time. It’s ridiculously difficult. But everyone was there dancing like they were on a Bollywood movie set and there I was too stunned to do anything.
Sabrina, the girl who interviewed me on Channel [V], was keen to see me shaking it. She said “come on Kenny, just imagine two big buttons over your head, and you’re pushing it.”
Alright then Sabrina, this is for you. Kenny Sia doing the bhangra.
Somehow I still don’t think I look very natural.
I Am Hairy
My last entry, I posted this very normal-looking picture up.
And look at the comments flowing in.
“who’s hand is that..the hairy one with the tag? *hair phobia*” — Bean
“Kenny, u got hairy hand ya?!?!?!” — Natasha
“kenny… u r so hairy… eee…” — KeL
“Wah Lao, your hand sibeh hairy lah. Wanna try waxing? Makes me wonder if other parts of your body is as hairy as that~ Hahaha” — Nonnie
Hello? It was just a photo of a WRISTBAND. How come all these people talking about my bodily hair.
Yalah I know I have a lot of body hair. Maybe a little bit more so than the average Chinese guy, but hey that’s just the way I am.
I’ve got hair on my legs. I’ve got hair on my chest. I’ve got hair on my stomach leading down to my *ahem*.
I’ve got leg hair so thick and curly, it looks like it’s got the whole eco-system going on down there.
Back when I was doing Form 3, my school uniform was still the kind with white shirt and tight short pants. I have started growing hair on my legs already. By the end of the first semester my leg hair has become so thick and black and curly, it made me look really bad in schoolboy shorts. No other boys in my class have the same problems. Just me.
I carried the nickname ë¸ç (hairy bro).
It is said if you don’t know who Kenny Sia is back then, all you gotta do is go to the Form 3 classes and look for the guy with the longest leg hair. That would be me.
It’s not easy having a pair of hairy legs.
I can’t shorts when I go out. On occassions that I have to wear shorts (like during an extremely hot afternoon), I risk having my leg hair yanked out by people. Especially girls.
I don’t understand the fascination girls have with my leg hair. Why do they have to yank my leg hair out as hard as they can, at every opportunity they could get?
It’s like, when I joke with them.
“Hahahahaha” *YANK*
When I help them out.
“Eh, thanks ah!” *YANK*
When I ignore them.
“Oi…OIIII!” *YANK*
Please. Hairy men have feelings too.
I got hair growing at weird places. This one’s on my big toe.
If you put an ant on my leg, he’s gonna have trouble finding his way out of the maze of hair.
One time, I swear I saw a poor tiny little ant crawling around my leg frantically with his miniature-sized torch light and miniature-sized film camera.
When I found that fella stopped moving 3 days later, I took his miniature-sized tape out of his miniature-sized film camera and put it inside my miniature-sized VCR. And it showed this.
It’s true.
Trust me, I tried waxing it off before. Paid a lot of money, hurts like hell and it grew back in like a month. I wonder why I did it in the first place.
Yeah, I am hairy. But my body hair has never been a problem for me. No one ever complains about it.
The reason why hair grow on my body in the first place is because of testosterones. I have lots of ’em. Testosterones come from the testicles. And I have two. HUGE ones. That’s why I’ve got so much hair.
Why would I wanna wax my hair off? It’s a symbol of my manhood manliness. Testosterones are what make men men.
Personally, I would be damn worried if I haven’t got hair on my body, because that would mean I’m still a boy and not a man.
If you’re one of those pansy skinny little boys with not a single strand of hair on your chest, maybe you should be worried instead. Please check if your testicles are still working, thank you.
Rainforest World Music Festival 2006
The RWMF came and went one week ago, but obviously I was too knackered to write anything. Even until now. So this’ll be one hastily put together entry.
It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy on a Saturday night. I need any combination of good food, good music and good company.
With the exception of good food, I found the latter two aplenty at the music fest. Lots of people from the West and other parts of Sarawak came and flooded our humble little town over that weekend. For three days, music was shared, new friends were made, and Kuching became a real party town.
Joyce’s Monalisa Smile
JoycetheFairy, KinkyPugKevin and YC the Drama Queen flew in from KL to join in on the festivities.
My adventures began just when I was picking them up from Kuching International Airport. Knowing them, I was expecting three excited people madly jumping up and down passing through the arrival gates. But they hadn’t slept the night before so I ended up picking up 3 ZOMBIES wanting terrorise Kuching town.
Kevin’s flight to Kuching broke his aviation virginity
It was quite a scary sight.
Joyce “My blog is not famous because of Adam C” Wong and Kevin work for magazines and were here to cover the event. YC’s tagging along ‘cos she needed a break.
This year’s Rainforest World Music Festival followed pretty much the same formula as previous years’ – music from around the world by bands no one’s heard of, workshops in the afternoon and a huge concert at night, right in the middle of Sarawak’s lush rainforest.
Police sniffer dogs to detect if you have any illicit “green substances” on you. Hey, there are kids at the event ya know?
Having been to last year’s show, I thought this year’s event was much better organised with tougher crowd security and a more entertaining band lineup.
The concerts at night are the highlight of the event. That’s when they set up a huge stage in front of the grass lawn, and the audience dance and mosh to folk songs and world music as if it’s a trance rave. Quite a fascinating sight, because I’d have never expected much people to enjoy this genre of music.
There were a lot of good bands to like: the Mongolians with their throat-singing, the Madagascarians with their African beats, the Scottish with their bagpipe and rock music fusion. I particularly love it when bands from two different countries collaborate, and create a totally unique blend of music on the spot.
At the end of the the night, it’s become tough to choose which band is the most popular, but my guess is those Latin Americans should be somewhere near the top.
The Latin Americans perhaps played the hit song out of the entire music festival with a Spanish number called “Guantanamela” (whatever that means). It’s a catchy tune that made me feel like doing the salsa right then and there with a random stranger. 😛
But I shouldn’t scare people like that.
There were a couple of annoyances for me during the show. In conjunction with the Rainforest World Music Festival (RWMF), was another festival going on.
The Rainforest Shirtless Men Festival (RSMF) were running in full glory. Featuring an army of sweaty grown adult men with no shirt on mindlessly screaming and bumping into other people .
I don’t mind hogsweat rowdy shirtless guys at all. I just don’t like it when kept bumping into me EVERY 5 SECONDS trying to swap sweat droplets with me. It’s disgusting. Seriously, those people should either put a shirt on or eff off.
Drums sound better when you’re higher.
With the amount of alcohol and drunken people going on, sometimes I wonder if kids should even be allowed to be there.
Still, best part of the whole festival was the company I was with.
This is Irene and YC. The two of them have so much in common it’s kinda spooky.
Best. Ten seconds. Of my life.
I thought I was in heaven.Trying very hard not to smile too wide.
IngHui, all the way from Miri, taking a photo of me taking a photo of her.
Arthur, who drove 13 hours along with IngHui from Miri to attend the event.
This guy is at it again. We were together throughout most parts of the concert, and he could just be standing there doing nothing saying nothing , QUIET AS A ROCK, and have women – HOT BEAUTIFUL WOMEN – making the first move chatting up to him. It’s insane.
Fairy Angel
The girls said it’s the aura he exudes and his mean tattoo.
Maybe I should get a full arm tatt as well. That’ll pick up chicks.
To end this lousily put together entry, here’s a video of the highlights of the Rainforest World Music Fest for those who can’t make it.
What a fun, hectic, music-filled weekend totally worth the RM60 entrance and overpriced cans of beer.
Sick
Headache. Nausea. Dry cough. Flu. Weakness. Vomitting. Cold sweat. Rapidly changing body temperature. Loss of appetite.
I think I’m getting pregnant.
Signs You’re Suffering From World Cup Withdrawal Symptoms
The World Cup’s over but are you still feeling the football fever? Here are top 9 signs you might be suffering from World Cup Withdrawal Symptoms.
9. You wake up for no reason at all at 3am, feeling as if you should be doing something instead of sleeping.
8. You log on to “sport bookie online” to check out today’s odds, but got annoyed when the matches shown are all by teams no one has ever heard of like “Dynamo Moscow” or “Ajax Amsterdam”. What is this… some kinda detergent joke?
7. When your boss or lecturer explained something to you that you don’t understand, you said to him “Sir! You keep on talking but I’m like that French goalkeeper. Catch no ball!”
6. You order Swedish Meatballs from IKEA, and you said to the waiter “I take Sweden, you give me half ball.”
5. You go for Thai massage, and you told the masseuse “I take Thailand, I give you two balls.”
4. When you’re faced with a great difficulty in life, you find yourself deeply pondering“Hmmm… what would Shebby do in this situation?”
3. If something’s blocking your way, you don’t walk over it like you should.
You DIVE over it like Superman.
2. When your friend gives you a friendly pat on the back, you don’t just look and smile at him.
You fall down dramatically, clutch your knee and cry like a bitch.
“Owww…. Pain! Pain!”
1. When someone said something mean against you, you don’t just walk away.
You headbutt him right in the chest.
Now that Zidane’s retired, at least he can find comfort knowing that he could always work as a Shaolin Monk, headbutting every single friggin thing out of his way.
The Official World Cup Scent
The FIFA World Cup has been a huge money-making machinery with many businesses cashing in on the football craze that’s going on right now. But when is it considered taking it too far?
I admit, I myself was caught up by the madness as well. I’m not a jersey person and I even just bought an “Official Licensed” Germany football jersey to join in on the fun. Then immediately after that Germany got knocked out of the tournament by Italy. So stupid. 🙁
One of the most bizarre “Official Licensed World Cup Merchandise” I’ve seen on the market is definintely this.
The Official FIFA World Cup 2006 Fragrance
“Introducing the officially licensed 2006 FIFA World Cup™ fragrance. Feel the excitement of winning the most coveted trophy in the world, wear the scent of victory.”
Excuse me, but what in the name of Ronaldinho’s balls is that supposed to mean?
What exactly is the “scent of victory”? I know what flower smells like, I know what coffee smells like, but how the heck would anyone know what “victory” smells like. It’s completely ambiguous and meaningless.
If that’s the case, everyone can just bottle their farts and sell it as a “scent of victory”. Because everytime I fart I feel a sense of victory.
Wanna smell like dirty, sweaty footballers?
Get the Official World Cup Fragrance today!
Another Fight Video Discovered On The Internet
This is horrible. What has the world come to?
Hot on the heels of the Miri Schoolgirl Fight, I’ve found YET ANOTHER fight video recorded on handphone and uploaded on to the Internet. This one 100 times more brutal and violent than the last one.
As far as I know, no one has this video yet. Remember, you’ve seen it first on kennysia.com.
Seriously, there is no hope for these children.
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OMG! This gotta be a Malaysia’s first. This clip has made it to the Top #13 Top #11Most Viewed Video on Youtube!
Alas, a lot of people don’t “get it” since they don’t get the context in which the video is based upon.
And they called us “japanese” and “mexicans”.
Miri Also Have Fight Club
What’s with the recent spate of schoolyard bullying videos surfacing on the Internet?
It seems as if handphone-recorded fight videos are the new porn.
First it was primary school kids toilet fight, then the Singapore HDB staircase girl fight, followed by the Johor schoolboy chair fight, and most recently, closer to home, the Miri schoolgirl fight.
“Ni you mei you jiang! NI YOU MEI YOU JIANG!” – bully #1 to victim.
Out of the four video clips, I reckon the Miri schoolgirl fight is the most violent (and most entertaining) of them all. So vicious, it made Tyson vs Holyfield look like two Playboy bunnies hitting each other with fluffy pillows.
“What are we supposed to be doing again?”
Don’t get me wrong. I hate to see violence happening in our schools and I hope justice is served. Just that it’s one of those things that you know is wrong, yet you can’t help but to look at it.
I’m not gonna post the video clip up. Those girls are still minors, ya know. Besides, I’m scared they might corner me one day and scream “Ni you mei you blog! NI YOU MEI YOU BLOG!” *whacks head*
All is not lost. For those who missed out on the clips that have since disappeared from the Internet, fret not. It’s only a matter of time before one of our enterprising businessmen from Petaling Street releases them on DVD.
Confirm clear, if not can come back and return.
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Update:
I changed my mind. For the benefit of those who haven’t seen it, I’ve decided to post the heavily-censored version of the actual schoolgirl fight video.
Download the video clip right here
I’ll delete any comments that link to the original video where the underaged girls can still be identified. Be nice yea?
Black Is The New Black
What do Paris Hilton,
Ashlee Simpson,
and Britney Spears have in common?
I like how they have Britney Spears posing nude on their front cover, and the caption immediately next to it reads “Nothing to wear? 487 best new ideas inside!”
That’s right, they’ve all ditched their famously blonde head to go black.
You know the world’s gone mad when we have us Asians dying our hair blonde to look like angmohs, while these angmohs are dying their hair black to look like Asians.
Kenny Sia +10
This is not a paid advertorial.
I got a package sent to me by courier earlier today. If it’s sent to me by courier, I’m guessing it’s gotta be something important.
Check out who it’s from.
adidas Malaysia!
Can you believe it? Apparently my “Teamgeist ball looking like sanitary pads” entry found it’s way via inboxes all the way to adidas’ regional office and it landed on the desk of Anna-Rina from their communications department.
In return for me making fun at their product, they’ve decided to send me a pack of gifts as reward. I don’t quite understand the logic behind it either but hey, I got freebies! That’s all that matters.
How come Osim never gimme anything when I poked fun at their uZap? Stingy bastards. 😛
Here’s what’s inside the package.
First up, a football jersey.
But too bad it’s a little too small for me to wear. Gotta shed a helluva of weight before I could fit into this one.
I like the pen and holder they gave. There’s a tiny hole in the centre of gravity of the pen and you’re supposed to use that balance the pen horizontally on the pyramid shaped holder. It’s pretty cool. I’m planning to put it on my office desk to make all my workmates jealous.
There’s this T-shirt with the adidas tagline emblazoned on the back.
“Impossible Is Nothing”
Yea yea, impossible is nothing alright, except when the bloody referee awarded the penalty kick against Australia with only 40 seconds left on the clock. WTF!
Blah! Don’t talk to me about that match. I’m still damn tulan about it.
Then there’s this elegantly compiled mini-folder detailing adidas’ involvement in the FIFA World Cup for the past 30 odd years, in full colour glossy photos. It even come with a CD containing high-resolution snapshots of their products. I presume this was what’s given out to the press worldwide for their coverage into the World Cup.
I got the left overs.
Kaka! Kaka lai!
Finally there’s the adidas Football Lookbook contains pretty much the same thing, except it’s hard-covered and comes with this cute keychain of a pair of football shoes.
Too small for me.
Doubt I could find any use for it, but at least I can now play World Cup with my fingers.
It’s never too early to train for World Finger Cup 2010
Overall, great football memorabilia from a company with a good sense of humour. 🙂 And I certainly appreciate that. Thanks!