Yes, I’m going on another holiday… AGAIN.

I’m leaving Thursday evening. This time it’s to Auckland, New Zealand.
My sister moved to NZ with her family earlier this year. I have not seen her for yonks and my travel bug is itching me again, so it’s the high time for me to pay her a visit.
The only problem is that my bank account is dwindling flat and Auckland isn’t exactly the cheapest destination to fly to. Flying the conventional way via Malaysia Airlines to Auckland would have set me back at least RM3,200. That is a hefty sum I could not afford.

Instead of crying and bitching about the expensive fare, I decided to just rough it out. Here’s a poor man’s guide to travel to New Zealand. It’s not the easiest way to get to New Zealand, but hey, I paid RM800 less travelling this way.
Take AirAsia from Kuching to Johor Bahru; board ‘The Smiling Bus’ from JB down to Singapore; smile at those IMF/World Bank delegates at Suntec City on your way; next day, take the MRT to Changi Airport; from the airport, board Air New Zealand all the way to Auckland. Then on return, repeat the same process ALL OVER AGAIN.
Man, what a long and arduous journey just to get to New Zealand. It’s like I’m travelling through Middle Earth.

My precioussssssss.

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Have you ever walked into a news stand, and noticed how sometimes all the magazines have the exact same model on the covers?

It’s like one month, all the magazines have Amber Chia on the cover. Next month, it’s all Hannah Tan. It’s as if all the magazine publishers decided to come together and run a concerted campaign for these ladies.
I’m still waiting for my chance to grace the covers of the magazines here, although I’m pretty sure that’s about as likely as a fat boy rejecting another slice of pizza. By coincidence however, I did manage to appear on four separate publications this month.

I must admit, I still get a kick out of being interviewed by newspapers and magazines. Apart from being recognised on the streets constantly, doing interviews is about the only other time I actually felt like being a (pseudo) celebrity. It’s a huge ego masturbation for me, and god knows how important that is for a guy with balls the size of coconuts.
First, was the September 11th edition of StarTwo on the Perils of Blogging.

A few people have warned me how my blog could land me into trouble one day because I write about “sensitive issues” like the results of an online poll. These are the same people keep telling me to “delete this entry” and “delete that entry”, which I find a little unnerving. Are these people coming to kennysia.com to read what I have to say, or are they coming in here to watch me delete my entries right after I posted them up?
Maybe I’m the only one here, but I’m getting more positives out of my blog than negatives.

KLue Magazine approached me to write for them after they came across my blog late last year. The money is quite minimal compared to what I earn for my day job, but honestly I enjoy every minute I spent writing my column for them.

Seeing my name on the credits section of such a popular magazine gives me an inexplicable rush of satisfaction everytime. Another case of ego masturbation.
My face made a surprise appearance in this month’s FHM Magazine as well. Don’t worry, I was not in a bikini ok? (Then again hor, Malaysian version of FHM never featured chicks in skimpy bikinis one. Damn sien. Don’t they know that FHM without pics of chicks in skimpy bikinis is equivalent to drinking iced lemon tea – without ice, lemon and tea? Singaporean FHM is heaps better.)
At least, it’s something not blog-related for a change.

From left to right: Cheesie, me, Kid Chan, Shan and Sorryiforgotwhatshisname.

The photo was taken at the Martell Rise Above party when I was in KL. Cheesie and I were guests of wedding photographer celebrity Kid Chan, who was there because he was nominated for an award.
You gotta admire Kid Chan for his networking skills. I watched him in action. The guy can just walk into a room full of strangers, make small talks with all the powerful personalities and leave with a good impression on everyone’s mind.

I had an awkward moment when he introduced me to Miss Malaysia Universe Melissa Ann Tan. Kid Chan said to her something along the lines that I was the only “celebrity” he knew present at the party, to which the beauty queen could only react by staring at me in puzzlement, wondering who the hell I am.
I had a hard time fitting into the party because it was too atas from what I was used to. It even had to involve all the atas people like Xandra “Atas” Ooi and Jojo “Atas” Struys. In fact, it’s so bloody atas until it had to be held in an atas venue like KL Tower.

As if that’s not atas enough, they set up a friggin’ hot air balloon at the top of Bukit Nanas, so you could literally “rise above” the rest of KL and yell at the top of your lungs “OI! I AM MORE ATASTHAN ALL YOU PEASANTS, UNDERSTAND?!?”
How thoughtful.
The magazine appearance I am most excited about though is this month’s issue of New Man Magazine.

Darn thing took a full TWO WEEKS after it was published to arrive on our Sarawakian bookshelves.
JoyceTheFairy, Lainie Yeoh, Jeff Ooi and myself was interviewed at this place in Damansara called “Friendster Cafe”.
Yes, there’s a Friendster Cafe in KL. And all these while I thought it was only us Kuching people who can come up with extremely unimaginative business names.
Who knows? Maybe next time there’s gonna be a Xanga Bar, Blogspot Shop and Multiply Motel.

New Man is definitely one of the most entertaining magazines out there. Anyway, I won’t publish the entire article for the sake of copyright, so do get a copy of New Man at your nearest news stand if you have the chance.
Suffice to say, I like how the article turned out, especially when they took MY quote and put in BIG ORANGE FONTS. Whoa, like the things I said very important liddat.

Reading that interview masturbated my ego so much, it bukkaked all over my magazine.
So anyway, I was left there reading my stained mag, cover to cover, grinning like an oaf, only to turn back to the cover and saw these words.

WHAT! GEEK ISSUE?! Darn you Mr Editor! How could you con us into a doing an inteview then put us in your GEEK ISSUE!?
That is like asking me to be photographed for a Marie France ad, only to be have it used in the “BEFORE” section of their weight loss ad.

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Things like this don’t happen everyday.

I went out on a routine Saturday night, chilling out at Mojo with some friends over wine and local music. Friend of mine brought along a pretty hot chick, someone I’ve never met before (or so I thought). Tasteful clothes, great waist-length hair, clearly a fashionista.
My friend left for a while, so he asked me to entertain his female companion in his abscence. I helped him out, but I got frustrated after 5 minutes because I felt she was being too stand-offish and mysterious.
Kenny: “So where were you at before you decided to come home to Kuching?”
Girl: “I was… somewhere.”
Kenny: “Where?”
Girl: “Somewhere lah!”

Speaking of which, one of my pet peeves when striking up a conversation with someone new is when the other person deliberately avoids answering even the most rudimentary questions about themselves. It makes me feel like a terrorist.
Doesn’t matter. I bid farewell to my friends when the night drew to a close and gave no further thoughts to the events going on that night.
That is, until my friend sent me an SMS the next day asking me to call him back urgently.

It’s so urgent he even wrote “back” wrongly. I wondered why he wanted me to call him black when he’s clearly Chinese.
I rushed out to meet him, thinking someone’s probably critically injured or something bad happened. Then I found him sitting idly by at the coffeeshop having his lunch. I asked him what’s so urgent, and he told me to wait.
A few minutes later, someone joined us at the table – it’s the hot chick from last night. She had called up my friend early in the morning, telling him there’s something important that she wanted to tell me personally.

“Do you still remember me?” she asked me in Mandarin. Strange, because last night I was speaking to her in English.
I looked at her once. I looked at her twice. “Last night was the first time I met you,” I said.
Cold sweat started forming on my forehead. A million wild thoughts going through my head.
Who is this girl? Why does she sound like she knows me? Have I met her before? Did I owe her money? *gasp* Did I once make her pregnant?

She gave me a resigned smile and told me her Chinese name. It rang a bell in my head. A school bell.
“We were classmates from Primary School, remember?”
Really? But she looks so… different now. I didn’t have much memory of her because we weren’t close in school and I left shortly after completing Primary 5. I didn’t even ask her to leave a message in my cute Little Bob Dog autograph book! Come to think of it, I don’t even keep in touch with much of my primary or secondary school mates now. Most of them probably don’t even know about the existence of this blog.
Then she added, “you once gave me a farewell card. After that, you just left and I never saw you again. I suddenly remembered who you are from last night because your voice sounded very familiar.”

This is awkward. Here’s a hot-ass fine-looking lass chatting with me happily about things from 13 YEARS AGO, and there I was staring at her blankly without the faintest recollection about her. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
Sien. I’m just gonna end this blog entry abruptly. I’m still reeling from the shock ok? Can’t be bothered ending it with a funny one-liner.
I think I shall go bang my head against the wall right now. Bye!

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