Everyone wanna be Irish on St Patrick’s Day.
Even if you’re just a poor clueless little Malaysian.
St Patrick’s Day on the 17th March is a holiday originating from Ireland, where the Irish feasts all day long to commemorate the death of their heroic patron saint. Legend has it that good ol’ St Pat banished the snakes from Ireland and into the sea, thereby saving Ireland from certain doom.
Not much is known about the snakes after they’ve been banished into the sea.
But I’m pretty sure those snakes swam across the ocean into Malaysia, where they eventually grow up to become Petaling Street vendors.
No wonder they always try to rip people off!
Still, it was funny how last time when St Patrick caught snakes he was regarded as a hero.
Nowadays if we try to “catch snake” during working hours, we get scolded by our bosses.
Ridiculous.
Anyway, I was invited by the good guys at Guinness for the media launch of their St Patrick’s Day celebrations in KL. With good food, good company and freeflow of Guinness Draught offered all night long, of course I jumped at the opportunity lah!
The event was to kick-start a month-long celebration of all things Irish and Guinness. After enjoying such immense popularity worldwide, Ireland’s favourite black beer is bringing the spirit of St Patrick’s Day to Malaysia.
And I think it’s fair that they bring St Patrick’s Day to us. After all, we gave them like… Chinese New Year?
The evening was cheery and jovial despite it being a media event. We were served not just Guinness Draught, but a nice selection of sushis, nachos and quiches as well. Truly international!
Even the Guinness Draught served that evening was unique. The ice-cold beer was poured into the glass, then placed on a special surger unit to create “the perfect pint” – black at the bottom, and a creamy layer of froth on top.
Halfway through the celebrations, a bunch of dancers came out wearing some outrageous hats with famous buildings on them, to signify how St Patrick’s Day is celebrated internationally.
Sorry lah, but the last time I had to wear something like that on my head was when my teacher punished me in primary school.
Fortunately, the real part of entertainment that evening came later, when Emmanuel Stroobant from AFC’s Chef In Black showcased his culinary skills in front of the live audience.
The celebrity chef was tasked with coming up with a dish using Guinness as its key ingredient. It was really quite amazing to watch how he did it. I thought the guy is simply gonna pour Guinness on a rack of lamb and just say, “Nah, that’s your dinner!”
But no.
He smoked it.
He iced it.
He ground it.
Chef Emmanuel’s cooking demonstration sure beats me trying to cook Maggi.
In the end, the chef came out with Guinness-flavoured ice cream, and what can only be described as Smoked Guinness Lamb. It was really quite special.
I mean, if you asked me how to make Smoked Guinness Lamb, I’ll probably just get a lamb, feed it some Guinness, stuff a bunch of cigarettes in its mouth and say, “Nah, your Smoked Guinness Lamb”
The good news is, throughout the whole of March only, everyone can enjoy these good Guinness infused cuisine at participating outlets throughout KL.
Bossa Nova at Parkroyal, Bulldog, Delaney’s, Jarrod & Rawlins, Nikko Hotel and Sevenatenine will all be serving their own Guinness-inspired creations specially for St Patrick’s Day.
In the meantime, see if you’ve got the luck of an Irish by playing the game at guinness.com.my
There’s phat prizes to be won if you’re one of the top three scorers: a Dell Inspiron laptop, a Canon Ixus digital camera and an Apple iPod Touch. That’s some pretty flash prizes just for playing such a simple game.
The celebration in Malaysia will culminate with the main event – the Guinness St Patrick’s Festival this Saturday, 15th March at Plaza Mont’Kiara.
There’ll be some serious entertainment going on from 5pm onwards. Not forgetting of course – loads of beer, a slice of the Irish culture, and the magic of the Chef in Black himself.
If you love to party, there’s no reason not to be at Plaza Mont’Kiara this Saturday.
It’s the next best thing to celebrating St Patrick’s Day in Ireland itself. 😉
Before And After
This is the BERSIH Rally, last year on the 10th November.
40,000 Malaysians of all races took it to the streets of KL to campaign for free and fair elections.
It was a largely peaceful protest according to many people who were there. However, the police saw fit to fire tear-gas and water cannons towards the crowd.
Many see the police’s heavy-handed tactics as unnecessary.
Four policemen arrest one PKR’s Tian Chua
The actions of BERSIH were damned to hell by the newspapers. Despite all that, the Election Commission eventually caved in and used transparent ballot boxes and indelible ink for this election.
Nevermind the fact that RM2 million worth of indelible ink was not used at the last minute.
During the protest, Malaysia made international headlines when our delusional Information Minister stutter and stammer his way onto Al Jazeera news.
In what can only be described as a “The Zam Rap”, Zainuddin Maidin, fondly known as Zam, blasted out against the interviewer, uttering such famous phrases as, “You think that we Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar!”
And, “You-you-you-you are here with the idea, you are trying to project, what is your mind!”
Fast forward to the 2008 Elections. Zam suffered a heavy defeat and lost his parliamentary seat to PKR. Even Tun Mahathir laughed at him, saying that “the way he was campaigning was really funny, telling people to look at his face and how it doesn’t change.”
Because he is no longer an elected MP, Zam must therefore step down as Information Minister.
His face finally changed
I say good riddance. He was never good at that job anyway. Among his many achievements in his 2 years, Zam has called bloggers stupid, suggested classifying bloggers as ‘professional’ and ‘non-professional’, and managed to say with a perfectly straight-face that Malaysian news media is not biased.
Of course now that he lost, he’s probably gonna say that the election is not fair.
Maybe next time before the next elections, we might see Zam in the news again like this.
“You think that we Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar!”
kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generator
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This is what I saw when I drove past Kuching’s iconic cat statue this morning.
I laughed so hard I nearly crashed into the divider.
WHAT IS THIS?
Cat wearing a BN scarf, holding a DAP flag?
STUPID CAT DUNNO WHO TO SUPPORT IS IT?
Come to think of it, our Indecisive Cat Statueâ„¢ pretty accurately reflects the attitude of most young voters in Malaysia. A lot of people I spoke doesn’t seem to be very interested in politics because:
(a) They don’t care who’s in power
(b) They don’t think it’s important because BN is gonna win anyway
(c) They don’t know who to vote
If it’s Reasons (a) and (b), I can understand.
But there’s really no excuse for people not to vote if they answered Reason (c). If people don’t know who to vote, then as responsible citizens, we should find out more about what each political party stands for, and make our decisions based on that.
Of course, that is easier said than done. After all, everyone is saying that they’re good and the other parties are bad. And it’s easy for us to get lost in the avalanche of information.
Which is why for the benefit of the Rakyat, kennysia.com is proud to present…
The kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generatorâ„¢
Are you confused who you should support this election? Never fear! By using The kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generatorâ„¢, deciding who to vote this election has never been easier!
Don’t be like our Indecisive Kitteh. Deciding who to vote now is as simple as 1-2-3!
1. Answer the questionaire below.
2. Click ‘Submit’
3. Whoever The kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generatorâ„¢ asks you to vote, YOU VOTE!
Disclaimer: kennysia.com is politically neutral and does not endorse any political party.
The kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generator™A) Yes B) No 2. Do you agree with the statement that “Only the BN government can bring development, progress and stability to the country”? 3. Do you agree with the existence of race-based political parties? 4. Do you believe that the PAS (Parti Islam Se-Malaysia) is still behaving like religious extremists or have they started to become more moderate? 5. Which of the following Asian countries should Malaysia model herself after 6. Which of the following scandals last year was the most damaging in Malaysian political history? 7. You are the Prime Minister of Malaysia. If one of your ministers was found to have engaged in corruption, do you: 8. You are the Minister of Law. A seven-year-old girl was found raped and murdered. Which one of the following would you do first? 9. A video was secretly leaked, alleging that the position of “top judge of Malaysia” was fixed. Do you: 10.What is your take on public street protests? 11. What is a HINDRAF? 12. What is BERSIH? 13. You made a deal with the Russians to purchase US900 million worth of fighter jets from them. The Russians are very happy and they are willing to give you something that costs US$26 million in return. Do you: 14. Which of the following Malaysian subculture is a menace to society? 15. You are stranded on a deserted island. Based on looks alone, which of the following Malaysian politician would you rather be stranded with?
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<p><br><br><center>According to the 100% accurate <i>kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generator™</i>, I am voting for…</center></p><br><br>
<p><center><strong style="font-size: large;">!</strong></center></p>
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<br><p><a href="http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2008/03/kennysiacom_who.php">Who Should You Vote For This Election? </a></p></div></b></center>
I Sleep Better With Chipster (aka Nuffnang Made Me Do This)
My niece sleeps well all the time.
My nephew also sleeps soundly all the time.
But they are kids. For me, I can’t fall asleep as easily as they do.
I sleep better only with Chipster.
See?
Ok look, I don’t mean to make a fool out of myself for no reason. But my blog advertising agency Nuffnang is holding a Pajama Party this 15th March for their 1st year anniversary celebration, and I don’t wanna miss it for anything else.
It’s a gathering of over 300 bloggers from all throughout Malaysia and Singapore, in their pyjamas, at the Borneo Baruk Club (next to Pavilion KL).
Just think Dawn Yang in her nighties.
The only way I could be invited is if I do up this entry, and TODAY is the deadline. After everything that Nuffnang has done for me in the past 12 months, this is the least I could do for them in return, right?
Well, not really.
Actually I am “forced” into doing this.
I didn’t really wanna publish this entry at first because I know kennysia.com readers don’t like too many ads on my site. But you see, if I don’t do it, then Nuffnang co-founder Ming Shen would release the entire set of these incriminating photographs he took using a hidden camera when I visited his place last year
Ummm… it wasn’t what it looks like.
I’m not into teddy bears.
How SUPP and DAP Attempt To Appeal To Young Voters, But Failed
Disclaimer: kennysia.com is politically neutral and does not endorse any political party.
When you see a certain white-haired fella on the front page of The Borneo Post so many days in a row, you know election fever in Malaysia has well and truly heat up.
One of the things I observed this General Elections is how both sides of the political spectrum are trying very hard to woo the votes of young Malaysians. In fact, I think they are trying a little too hard.
That is understandable. After all, young ones like us make up a large percentage of swinging voters. This is especially true in the urban seats. Votes from the diehard fans of both parties will cancel each other out, and it is the decision of the swinging voters that will ultimately decide who will win this election.
In short, young voters are very important to the political parties. But when I see what the SUPP and the DAP are doing to appeal to young voters, I LOL-ed. (That stands for “Laugh Out Loud”, you old fogies.)
First, it was Barisan Nasional’s SUPP that released, of all things, a rap song to launch the attack on DAP.
I kid you not, it’s a political election rap song. And a far better one than the one I did for my friend Jeff Ooi a few months back. Still, don’t expect to hear the song anytime soon on Hitz Top 30 alongside Justin Timberlake and 50 Cent.
Here’s the lyrics of the Chinese rap song, roughly translated into English.
WHO SAYS vote rocket will bring development?
WHO SAYS vote rocket will bring in the funds?
WHO SAYS vote rocket will bring down fuel prices?
WHO SAYS vote rocket will change people’s lives?
WHO SAYS SUPP can’t change everything?
WHO SAYS, WHO SAYS, WHO SAYS, WHO SAYS!
WHO SAYS, WHO SAYS, WHO SAYS, WHO SAYS!
Now if you think that rap song sounded familiar, that’s because there’s a good chance you might have heard it from a certain telco prepaid advertisement.
Talk about originality. I wonder how that is gonna attract young voters.
Now, before everyone start laughing at the SUPP and accusing them of piracy. Let’s just say the DAP isn’t any more creative.
DAP’s tagline for the 2008 General Election is “Just Change It”.
Dunno why when I look at this banner I suddenly feel like exercising leh.
But then DAP decided to go one step further. They decided that it’s not good enough to just attract young voters. They must also appeal to little children who have are not yet old enough to vote.
Which is why for this General Elections, in order to appeal to young children, the DAP has released a limited edition soft toy of their official mascot for kids.
They called “The Rocket Kid”.
As a toy for little kids, this mascot is just so… wrong.
I’m sorry, but that just reminded me of one very happily smiling red-coloured penis.
Suddenly, DAP’s election campaign becomes an erection campaign. Some more they had to make the “rocket” go through a blue hole. Maybe that’s just their subliminal way of saying “Oi! Screw you, blue-coloured party!”
Very suggestive to hold it like that woi.
One thing for sure, I hope that “thing” doesn’t vibrate.
Malaysian Dreamgirl Auditions
Last weekend was an interesting one for me.
As previously mentioned, I was one of the judges for Malaysian Dreamgirl, an new model search reality show that’s soon to be aired exclusively over the Internet.
It was an interesting experience for me for a couple of reasons.
Having always been a fan of such talent contests as Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, I was curious to see how I might fare as a contestant.
Knowing myself though, I doubt I’d go far. Even I gotta admit that my singing and dancing abilities are so crap, I make William Hung look like a dance instructor.
Which is why to find myself on this partciular show, sitting on this side of the judging panel, is quite surreal.
I don’t know anything about modelling. Yet, never in my life would I imagine a small time Kuching boy like me could become a judge of a modelling contest. Let alone working alongside someone like Elaine Daly, who herself is an accomplished local celebrity I previously only read about in magazines.
With so much honour given to me, you’d think I’d handle my job damn seriously, right?
Sadly, no.
I screwed up. Of all days, I had to pick our first day of shooting to screw up. Talk about giving a bad first impression.
Long story short, my flight from Auckland-Sydney-Singapore-KL had a bit of boo-boo. I arrived KL late, my luggage turned up late, and by the time I made my glorious entrance to the set, I was already 2 hours late.
That’s 2 hours that all the cast and crew and contestants had to wait for Kenny Sia to get his diva ass ready.
Ok, so we didn’t get off on a good start, and it’s entirely my fault. Lucky for us though, things only went uphill from there.
My fellow judges Elaine and Jimmy knew each other and had worked together before in the modelling industry before, but it was the first time I sat together with them, so I wasn’t sure how well we would connect.
Surprisingly, we were fantastic together.
The first girl who got through to the second round auditions, Adeline
The first few girls came into audition room and we unanimously turned them away. But when they left, they all said the judges were being too nice.
That was like an ultimate insult to me. As an onscreen talent, I don’t wanna be remembered as a “Mr Nice Guy” who only agrees with what the other two judges was saying.
Fortunately, as more and more girls auditions, the differences between the judges began to naturally emerge.
Veteran stylist Lim Jimmy was hands down the nicest of us all.
He was the “Paula Abdul” of the judges. Jimmy may be relatively unknown before Malaysian Dreamgirl. After this show, I say he’s definitely gonna be remembered as the Mother Theresa of the Dreamgirl judges.
Jimmy sees good in every single girl who auditioned. Even if their model qualities are not immediately obvious, Jimmy would scrutinize them from head-to-toe and give them suggestions on how to improve.
Next is our unofficial Dreamgirl “chief judge” Elaine Daly.
I feel that Elaine has extremely strict qualities when it comes determining which girl has what it takes to become a model. That’s understandable, I guess. Elaine has been modelling since she was 14 and throughout her career, she has met and worked with many beautiful people, including well-known international supermodels.
Obviously, with that as a benchmark, it is difficult for a lot of girls out there to live up to her expectations.
And then there was me, the “common man” of the Dreamgirl judges.
As I’ve mentioned, I was never part of the modelling industry. My yardstick does not extend beyond what I see in men’s magazines and because of that, my standards are very differently from Jimmy and Elaine.
I may not be able to tell from the girls who’ve auditioned, who will “make it” in the industry and who will not. But as soon as the girl walked through the door, I can tell which one is gonna be popular with the audience and which one will face intense criticism from the unforgiving public.
This one seriously cannot make it
Out of the three judges, I think I come across as the harshest and most straightforward of them all.
It wasn’t intentional and I didn’t mean to be harsh. My job is to the voice out what the typical internet commentors think about these girls who auditioned, and I tell ya, these internet commentors aren’t gonna be nice. If the girls are gonna participate in a popularity contest like this one, they are gonna have to deal with a lot of the negative comments posted online.
“I demand TWO REASONS why I did not make it past the auditions!”
So I sent a couple of girls crying out of the audition rooms.
On last count, my score was 4.
Elaine – nil.
Jimmy – nil.
Elaine and I are often locking horns with each other, mainly because we have very different standards when it comes to judging the girls.
One of things we could not agree on is the contestants’ height.
You will win points from Elaine Daly if you are tall and slender.
For me, I think height is not the most important quality a model should have. I reckon as long as you have a sweet and presentable face, you’re good to be a model already.
Danii, 155cm and full of spunk
A lot of girls who auditioned are very pretty eventhough they are small and petite. I had to campaign very hard to put these girls through, much to the dismay of Elaine Daly.
The former Miss Malaysia said, “This is not choose-a-girl-for-Kenny. This is Malaysian Dreamgirl. You can have a show called Kenny’s Dreamgirl where all girls are cute and short and girl-next-door. But this is Malaysian Dreamgirl.”
Elaine and I, right before she tore my head off
Even by my reduced standards, 7 out of 10 girls who came to audition are completely clueless about what it takes to be a model. At the very least, I would expect them to come dressed in their best and blow us away. But no.
A lot of girls auditioned came wearing what they would wear when they go out shopping with their friends on a Saturday afternoon. And to me, that just ain’t good enough.
“They said my dress looks like it’s made from a roadside mamak stall’s table cloth.”
Anyway, it was a very interesting first few days of auditions.
The Malaysian Dreamgirl auditions was also my first taste of how things work in the entertainment circles, and I must say I enjoyed it immensely.
The chemistry between the three of us judges was fantastic considering it was the first time we worked together. We complement each other very well, and in the end we picked an extremely well-varied group of finalists across all different races, age groups and experience levels.
Natasha, Priscilla, Adeline, Jean and Jay
12 finalists will enter the Dreamgirl House this weekend and be placed into lockdown for 2 months.
I cannot tell you who those 12 finalists are, so you have to check that out yourself. Sure, some contentious decisions were made and some of the more popular girls (like Cheesie) were eliminated, but when the time comes I’ll explain why they did not make the cut.
The first episode of Malaysian Dreamgirl will go to air Thursday next week on the 6th March on malaysiandreamgirl.tv, so be sure to bookmark your browsers.
I’m proud of the 12 girls we picked. Looking at them, this show is guaranteed be a rollercoaster ride of drama, emotions, jealousy and joy.
As for me, I’m just glad to take a break from the intense travelling between KL and Kuching for a while and put my focus back into kennysia.com.
I miss updating regularly.
Blasphemous Action Figures
Someone is going to hell for this.
Coming up next, limited edition Buddha Action Figure™!
With lasers shooting out of it’s freaking eyes!
Bad Logo For An Electronic Store
Everytime I see this logo.
I can’t help but to read it as Dick ‘Head’ Smith.
Back To Reality
Finally, my Kiwi holiday is coming to an end.
After spending one week just kicking back, relaxing and enjoying time with my family, I am finally ready to head home to resume my hectic work life.
Before that, there’s another thing to settle.
In a moment, I’ll be boarding my flight from Auckland to Sydney, then to Singapore, then to Kuala Lumpur. As soon as I arrive at the KLIA, I’ll be going straight to the PWTC and be there by 10am to fulfill my judging duties for MalaysianDreamgirl.tv
The open auditions for our model search is this Saturday and Sunday from 10am to 5pm.
Response to our call for auditions has been tremendous so far and the number of pre-registrations have exceeded all our expectations. I must say things are looking great for us. There are some interesting characters we’re expecting to turn up, but also some that’ll be sure to make people go “WTF?”
Turn up like this and you’ll immediately get my vote to qualify
For those who wanna take part in the show but still haven’t registered, it’s fine to just walk into PWTC and audition on the spot.
Those who registered, just bring along a copy of your confirmation forms. Then on the day, just walk in with confidence and don’t worry about it all. Don’t be nervous. Elaine, Jimmy and I are all nice people really. 😉
Actually, I might be even more nervous. I still haven’t got hold of this whole “model-judging” thing yet. Maybe if I do some more research, I might know what to look for in a model.
Gtg. Do “research”.
NZ Road Names
New Zealand is such an awesome holiday destination, but it does have some really odd place names.
My sister’s place is at Rototuna. Today I’m staying at a place called Whangarei, and tomorrow I’ll be diving at a place called Tutukaka.
Imagine that! A place called “Tutukaka”! Lucky it’s called “Tutukaka” and not “Kukutata”, because that was my other nickname.
Don’t you know? My nickname was “Kukutata” because my “kuku” is very “tata”.
A lot of these names are Maori instead of English, and that is why they sounded so weird.
For a Malaysian travelling in New Zealand, these Maori names can be quite confusing and difficult to remember. Most of the time I had to translate them into something else that sounded similar in Mandarin or Hokkien, just so it’s easier for me to remember.
For example, this is how I remember some of the road names.
“Fish is softer” road.
Wrong street.
Shit street.
“No exit” means it’s having constipation.
“Ant.”
Hotel “Bad Brother.”
“Caucasian brother” street.
“Good father” street.
“Go f*ck yourself” street.