The Anwar Sex Tape Revealed, Finally

Another election, another erection.

Everytime an election comes around, a sex video tape pops up. On the day the Sarawak state assembly is dissolved, a "Datuk T" emerged, producing a video alleging "someone who looks like Anwar Ibrahim" getting jiggy with it with "someone who looks like a Chinese prostitute".

To that I say, how do they know it’s a prostitute from China? Maybe it’s his "personal friend" leh?

Suddenly, everyone is pointing fingers to everyone. Fingers are pointed to Anwar, saying he is not fit to be a leader. Fingers are pointed to Datuk T, for broadcasting pornography.

Heck, even Chua Soi Lek pointed his finger to Anwar urging him to admit his wrong.

Then I wondered. How come no fingers are pointed to the China woman for prostitution?

I also dunno. Welcome to Malaysia.

Predictably, Anwar and his supporters got into super defensive mode.

Anwar claimed that the person in the video has a big tummy, and he does not. He also claimed the video was fake, and his face was superimposed on another person.

Well, ladies and gentlemen. The speculation ends here.

Guess what? After a lot of phone calls, texts and e-mails, I managed to get my hands on the controversial Anwar sex tape.

Here it is, revealed finally, on kennysia.com

 

 

Big tummy.

 

 

Chinese woman.

 

Superimposed face.

From,

Datuk Tua Liap Sia

Korean Gym

I’m in Seoul right now to participate in the upcoming marathon.

To prepare myself for the big race, I went to a Korean gym yesterday.

It’s called MF Fitness. MF here stands for Muscle Factory – as in, you go in there to build muscles. Funnily, upstairs from the gym is a pub.

The tagline of MF Fitness is "Pride Your Body".

Or in Korean pronunciation – "Pry Yo Burreh."

Two things I learnt while I was working out here.

First, I realised Korean men don’t cover up their bits when they change. I tell you, when I walked into the changing room, I felt like my eyes were soaked in kimchee.

It was horrible. I can see the "seaweed" on their "bulgolgi" all dangling out.

I don’t want to look, but when it’s in my face like that I can’t help but to see and compare.

Second, I am glad I do Malaysian men proud. 😀

ADV: JJ And Ean Are Like Santa

The hitz.fm morning crew has gone through quite a bit of changes lately.

First, they replaced Rudy with Tengku Ean.

Then they replaced Hollywood Hookup Richard Reid with this chick.

As much as Richard Reid is entertaining, I’m kinda glad to see his over-the-top high-pitched voice gone. Although with a body like that, I reckon Fay Hokulani deserves to be on magazines more than she does on radio.

Two things haven’t changed about the hitz.fm Morning Crew though.

First, the two radio announcers are still botak.

Second, although they don’t have much hair on their head, those two clowns have tons of freebies to give away.

Like tickets to Bruno Mars concert live in KL!

Like exclusive tickets to Justin Bieber’s movie premiere!

Like RM60,000 cash for playing "Who Are JJ and Ean talking to"?

Best thing is, this is a ridiculously easy game to play. Basically, you just gotta listen to the hitz.fm Morning Crew from 6am to 10am every weekday morning. When they cue to call, you call up, choose how much money you wanna win, then guess which celebrity’s voice they played.

If you got it right, you win a slice of the RM60,000 moolah.

This is JJ himself "eloquently" explaining how the contest works.

Hint: there’s a list of celebrities JJ and Ean has interviewed on the hitz.fm website.

If you win money, share with me!

But if you (very unfortunately) win tickets to Justin Bieber’s movie premiere instead please don’t share with me!

I don’t wanna sit on some cinema seats filled with some teenage girl’s soaking wet stains.

Tear stains lah. What you thinking?

ADV: The Irish Spirit

Is it just me or has anyone realised we have something to celebrate every single month for the past several months?

Last month, we had a long Chinese New Year holiday, then Maulidur Rasul and even Valentine’s Day.

The month before that, in January, we had the New Year of course. Some people drank so much they are still recovering from their hangover from the 1st January.

Then in December there’s the Christmas and Awal Muharram public holidays.

As if that’s not enough, Najib declared 18 December a public holiday because we won the ASEAN Cup.

Yay.

Imagine if we won the World Cup. Whole year no need to work!

In November? A Triple Whammy. Hari Raya Haji, Deepavali and Kenny Sia’s birthday. The latter not currently recognised as a public holiday, but maybe in the near future.

Anyway, my point is, after a good four months in succession filled with public holidays, we got so used to the constant festivities and celebrations. Then all of the sudden, we arrive in the month of March and we realised, "Oh shit. No public holidays in March. Got nothing to celebrate! HOW NOW?"

To that I say, "Don’t worry lah bradder. If Malaysia got nothing to celebrate, then we borrow from other country loh!"

Of course, I’m talking about the most important day on the Irish calendar – St Patrick’s Day!

All around the world, people are celebrating St Patricks Day doing one of three things: (1) Going on a street parade.
(2) Partying in an Irish pub.
(3) Drinking Guinness!

In Malaysia, we seem to only concentrate on the last two, but the St Patrick’s Day street parade is the SECOND most colourful street parades I have ever witnessed.

Serious!

The first was the Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.

March last year, I was in San Diego for a convention. I stayed back just to see how the angmohs celebrate this festival honouring everything green and Irish.

The St Patrick’s Day Parade held in Balboa Park, San Diego was a real eye-opener for me. They say you can’t be too serious on St Patrick’s Day, but these people really took the whole parade soooo seriously.

There were people dressing up as druids and elaborate horsemen outfits.

There were old men on mini toy cars.

Even puppies joined in on the parade wearing green tutus!

Of course there were also plenty of stalls selling everything green and Irish (but made in China) products.

It’s such a silly but simple event. Yet it created such happy moment for everyone who participated or watched the St Patrick’s Day parade.

That’s the Irish spirit – happy, carefree and never take oneself too seriously.

Its difficult to describe a St Patrick’s Day parade for those who haven’t seen it. The best way I can describe it is if I call it an Irish version of the Chingay parade, but it’s still quite hard for people to imagine what it’s like, so the best thing to do is see one for yourself!

Guinness is bringing some St Patrick’s Day’s joy and merriment to Malaysia this 17 March. They gonna do it like they do it in the West, complete with pub parties, good food, fun contests and a Grand St Patrick’s Day Parade featuring bikers, buskers, cosplayers and Irish dancers all skipping down Changkat Bukit Bintang.

So it’s not like there’s nothing to celebrate in March. You just gotta
be merry.

The main St Patrick’s Festival is happening this coming Thursday 17 March at Changkat, but there are lots of opportunities to celebrate being a silly Irish at the many smaller parties happening all around the country including in Kuching. All the details are on the Guinness Facebook page!

And for those that can’t make it to ANY of those events, well… I suppose you can always put yourself and your friends in the shoes of the Irish dancers by playing a GigGag on them.

Silly, I know. But St Patrick’s Day is all about being silly and merry with friends. After all, life’s more fun when you don’t take it too seriously.

Fullscreen capture 1132011 22807 PM

Ride a bike, do an Irish dance, play the GigGag. Go do something different.

Like I said, it’s the Irish spirit. And everyone can be Irish on the 17 March. That includes you, me…

And John Cena!

Lee Chong Wei

The biggest news last Sunday was obviously our very own Datuk Lee Chong Wei defeating his arch-nemesis Lin Dan to be come the All-England badminton champion.

One man is absolutely over the moon over Datuk Lee Chong Wei’s win, and that man is none other than our beloved Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak.

The PM called Chong Wei before his match, called Chong Wei after his match and stayed up all night just to watch his match.

I dunno, but that kinda enthusiasm is inching dannngerously in on man-crush territory.

Sadly, the PM stopped short on making a decision that would make me give him my vote next Elections. 🙁

He did promise that he would give Chong Wei something though.

Many have wondered what exactly the government will give Chong Wei. After all, our badminton champion already have a ‘Datuk’ title, a RM300K cash prize from his Olympic win and a RM3,000  monthly pension for the rest of his life.

He got the title, he got the money, I mean… what else could he possibly need right?

 

 

 

Until I saw this.

All of the sudden, the Prime Minister refers to Chong Wei as THE Chong Wei.

The Chong Wei. The Chong Wei.

‘The’, as in, The Rock.

 

 

Why settle for ‘Datuk’ when you can be called The Chong Wei?

I Wonder Why

Have anyone ever noticed that when an airplane lands at the airport, someone knocks on the door on the outside before someone on the inside opens it?

Sometimes I wonder how come they are smart enough to make a 50-ton aircraft fly… but not smart enough to put a doorbell on the outside?

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