You could always give the go-go bars a miss if the sight of trannies baring their man boobs offends you.

But one place not to be missed in Bangkok is the Chatuchak Weekend Market.
I went there during the last day of my trip, which fell on a Saturday luckily. In most places that I’ve travelled to, the markets are always the best place to see a wide range of merchandise and score some great bargains. The only exception is Petaling Street in KL, which is a crap hole filled with scams and rude vendors trying to rip you off.

Chatuchak Market is one of those places that is so legendary, I’ve heard about it long before I visited Bangkok.
My friends often come back home from Thailand sporting some funny but stylish looking T-shirts. When I asked them where they got their T-shirts from, they said ‘Chatuchak’ and that’s how I knew such a wonderful place exists.

Chatuchak Market is HUMONGOUS. The market is pretty much only about the size of a single storey of Midvalley Megamall. But with 8000 stalls packed so densely together, there’s never a risk running out of things to explore.
The prices here aren’t always the cheapest. What I like about Chatuchak though is that the vendors are always nice enough quote a very low price to begin with. Since the prices were already so low, my bargaining skills were practically worthless. Even the “pretend to walk away” tactic doesn’t seem to work.
Another reason I like Chatuchak is because…

They have COCONUTS!

Heaps and HEAPS of COCONUTS!

Coconuts so cool, they can deshell the coconut with one scoop, and hand you a ball of meat with all the coconut juice inside still intact.

Mango sticky rice, a perennial dessert favourite at Thai restaurants worldwide.
I never used to like it because I thought they tasted pretty bland, but then that’s because I’ve been eating cheap imitations at Thai restaurants outside of Thailand.
The real thing is heavenly.

A drink menu in the market.
You don’t pay them in baht. You pay them in baths.
A Pepsi can costs 15 baths. You gotta shower 15 times to buy a Pepsi can.

Lethal weapons: knives, swords, clubs, brass knucks, throwing stars, BB guns. You name it, they’ve got it.
The vendor looks like someone who could ong-bak the living poop out of me.

If you’re an art lover, you’re in for a treat. The alleys of Chatuchak market are filled with paintings, statues and trinkets to brighten up your place. And they’re priced quite reasonably too.
There’s an art gallery inside the market showcasing some pretty cool contemporary abstract drawings. These ones go for around 3,000 bahts (RM300).

Buddha art.
Technically, it’s illegal to sell anything depicting the images of Buddha in Thailand. But no one cares about it anyway. Prostitution is illegal in Thailand but look at how far it went.

Hey, why the long face?

Now that’s a happy Buddha.
Contemporary zen or religious mockery? You decide.

It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.

Oh look! Naked tits!
Tee Hee!
Quick! Someone faster go post a comment condemning kennysia.com and force him to take down the photo! Otherwise the minds of many young children reading this will be corrupted, y’know?

There are a lot of things in here not usually found back home, like this “Blob Thing” shown in the video.

Street performers are everywhere in Chatuchak market.

This guy is a cross-dresser trying to raise funds for his surgery, I think.

School kids raising funds for their education by playing music.

Looks like they REALLY need it their education.

For me, the most fun I had was at the pets section of Chatuchak Market.
The pet section here is incomprehensibly large, selling everything from conventional domesticated pets like cats and dogs to the more exotic types, like giant turtles.

I’d love to have a giant turtle, but too bad my baggage might be overweight.
The variety of dogs here are incredible though.

This dog is tulan.
Do not disturb.

This is what happens when you crossbreed a dog and a sheep. You get a dog that looks like a sheep.
Instead of baa baa, it goes woof woof.

When the dogs here are not busy imitating sheeps, they sleep.

Bunnies. Hundreds upon hundreds of them!

Tulan bunny hates wearing dresses.

Sexy hot chicks for your viewing pleasure.

They even sell miniature hedgehogs here. These ones go for 500 bahts (RM50).

Roborovski hamsters. They have literally thousands of them crawling around and they go for only 100 baht (RM10) each.
Not knowing I could actually get Roborovski hamsters in Kuching, I eventually ended up purchasing a pair of them.

The trouble was bringing these creatures from Bangkok back to Kuching.
I was actually stopped by airport security at the Bangkok International Airport when they found out I was carrying hamsters on my hand carry luggage. They wanted to confiscate my hamsters, but obviously I was not ready to let them go. So I lied to them and tell them that I’ll pass the hamsters over to “my friend waiting outside the airport”.

But of course, I didn’t know anyone in Bangkok. In reality, I snooped off to the nearest toilet and did the stupidest thing I could ever do for a pair of hamsters.
I stuffed them inside my pockets.
Yes, I thought about stuffing them inside my underpants initially, but I was afraid they might bite my testicles thinking that it’s food. So anyway, I stuff them inside my pockets of my shorts but those two buggers kept crawling out.

That didn’t work, so I thought to myself “bugger it” and stuff them inside my backpack. I figured if they confiscate it, then well, bad luck. At least I tried.
Lucky I didn’t put the hamsters in my pockets because when I went through airport security the second time, they actually patted me down and emptied my pockets.
My hamsters, on the other hand, went through the X-ray machine together with my laptop.
I wonder if they saw two tiny little hamster skeletons on their screen, because they let me through successfully.

And so, the two little hamsters went home with me back to Kuching (until one became Spiderham and jumped out the window from the second floor).
That concludes my short adventure in Bangkok. I also bought some gifts for friends, a new backpack and a few of those funny T-shirts that I always wanted.

150 baht

There was this one brilliant T-shirt that I really liked though, but I didn’t buy it ‘cos I was not sure what my mom would say if I actually wore it out.
Why, you ask?


Well, I think that’s self-explanatory.

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Welcome to my super late travel log entry on my recent Bangkok trip.

After the Black Eyed Peas concert (of which I went backstage and met them OMG), I had a little bit of spare time to explore the historical Siam city.
Truth to be told, I didn’t quite enjoy the trip as much I hoped for. At the time, I had a lot of work at the back of my mind and I couldn’t put myself at ease eventhough I’m in an exciting new foreign city. The smog and bustling traffic of the thriving metropolis did nothing to soothe my headache.

This is my single private room at the guesthouse that costs me only 300 baht (RM30) a night. I did mention before that I don’t have the habit of paying for more expensive hotel rooms if I’m travelling solo, so this one suits my budget well.
The place is spotless clean, but the pillows are so damn hard I swear they’re made of bricks. You get what you paid for I guess.

I stayed at the Cozy Bangkok Place which is located reasonably near to the subway station and close to the city centre. Outside the guesthouse are rows of cheap residential houses.

When I walked past them in the morning or at night, the locals would greet me cheerfully though they don’t speak a word of English. I always appreciate that kind of heartfelt hospitality when I travel. 🙂

Nothing beats the value, the atmopshere and the taste of streetside hawker food. I tell ya, the Thais serve up some of the best-tasting fried rice in the world.
Wash it down with some Fanta straight from the bottle, and the bill comes up to less than 50 baht (RM5). Bliss!

The fattest, juiciest oysters are found in Thailand. These ones are 60 baht a pop (RM6), but I’m sure you could find it cheaper if you search around.

Some street art I spotted outside my guesthouse. It’s meaningless, but it’s cool. Hey, at least it’s a lot better than the ones we have back home.
In Malaysia, our “street art” are either swear words like “F**K YOU C*BAI” or “For gay sex, call John 012-xxxxxxx”.

Satay vendor outside Hua Lamphong station.

Anyway, it’s a good idea to stay at a place close to the subways because the road traffic in Bangkok is a friggin’ nightmare. The traffic in Bangkok is so bad it made KL look like Disneyland.

Here, taxis are perpectually stuck in a jam and tuk tuks rip you off big time. You can’t win.

The subway and sky trains of Bangkok on the other hand are surprisingly clean, fast and comfy. For some weird reason, very few locals use them so the trains are empty 99% of the time.
The only hassle is that there’s a security guard checking your bags everytime you enter the subway. In case you carry a bomb, y’know?

Dear Sue, someone in Thailand wants to bang you.

One thing I noticed about Bangkok is that there are so many places advertising for massages and other kinds of “health” crap. Some more their posters are always this picture of a half-naked lady lying down, eyes closed, receiving a massage.

Look, I love watching half-naked ladies as much as the next guy.
But when you’re SURROUNDED by these posters all around, it can be kinda annoying. I walked two blocks also sien already and started yawning.

Shopping in central Bangkok wasn’t as happening as I thought it was either. Sure, the international brands like Zara and Guess are all there in the glitzy malls, but the prices are more expensive than KL or even Singapore.
I had a really hard time stretching my baht.

Somethings are worth buying though.
I had this suit tailor made at one of those ubiquitous Indian-run shops near my hotel. One full business suit, including jacket, a shirt, two silk shirts, two matching pants and two silk ties for just 6,500 baht (RM650)! Throw in a briefcase, and I’ll look ready to close my next multi-million dollar deal. 😉
All these cut to fit and made in the exact way as an Armani suit. Try to get the same deal back home and it’d cost at least RM1,500.
Dressed to kill, I set out to explore Bangkok’s famous nightlife.

The trend now in many big cities is to have a bar on top a high-rise building. The idea is so that people can get a bird’s eye view overlooking the beautiful city night lights.

I’ve been to many similar bars in other countries before and none of them ever fail to impress me. The views here at Sirocco Sky Bar are just as equally stunning.

It made Bangkok look like some futuristic city straight out of Star Wars.
Go ahead and click on the pics to download the wallpaper-sized version of them.

The clubs in Bangkok are no less impressive. When the Black Eyed Peas were here, they said they enjoyed hanging out at the clubs everytime they’re in Bangkok.
And I can see why.

I thought nightlife in Singapore are great. I thought the bars in Jakarta are amazing. But the clubs in Bangkok completely blew me away.

The main clubbing district in Sukhumvit boasts the type of crowd that would put Zouk on a Saturday night to shame. We’re talking about a 5km-stretch Ekamai Road all filled with some of the trendiest clubs and hippest DJs along the road.
No cover charge, and you get to mingle in debauchery with some of the best-dressed crowd and hottest chicks in South-East Asia.

Check out this “bat mobile” parked outside Santika.

Look! There’s even a club called Blog 9! Ha ha.
Anyway, there’s a lot more Bangkok stories to tell, but I’m running out of time.

Up next, Kenny Sia explores the seedy underside of Bangkok’s sleazy go-go bars.

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