LG Chocolate Phone Review

Reviews 149 Comments

I tell you ah. Last time, chocolates cost only RM1 for one whole bar. Today, Chocolates cost thousand ringgit over and is so advanced that you can use it to make phone calls.
Technology sure has come a long way.

I’m of course talking about LG’s latest foray into the sleek and stylish fashion phone market – the LG Black Temptation Series ‘Chocolate’ Phone.
Like most people I tend to favour European-made phones, preferring Nokia, Sony Ericsson and Motorola over Samsung and LG.
This however, is different. If you haven’t yet caught on to the hype, the LG Chocolate (also known as LG KG800) is dubbed as the latest mobile sensation set to take on the world by storm.

That is no exaggeration. Already 400,000 units have been sold in Korea since its launch. If all indications are true, the Chocolate’s signature red glowing keypads will soon be illuminating clubs and restaurants across Singapore and Malaysia.
Make no mistake about it. This is one helluva sexy phone. It is arguably the best-looking phone in the market today and you would WANT to show it off to your friends – something I’ve been doing since the moment I got it. This review unit is courtesy of LG Mobile Malaysia.

With its elegant black exterior, you’d be forgiven if you mistake this as an MP3 player on first glance.
There isn’t any protruding buttons visible on the front; even the LCD screen blends unsuspiciously and seamlessly into the face of the phone. The end result is a minimalistic, PSP-inspired design, accentuated only by the silver rim on the centre of the phone.

Press a side button or slide the keypad open and the phone comes alive.
The 2″ 256K colour LCD screen on the LG Chocolate is crisp clear and the smouldering red touch-sensitive keypad is the epitome of the phone’s cool factor. To use, just give it an effortless touch. It does take some getting used to at first, but I can’t get enough of it after a while.
This is the first time a heat-sensitive keypad is incorporated into the design on the phone, and I’m sure this has set a precedence in phone design that will be repeated many times in the future.

Slider phones seem to be the trend these days and LG has implemented it flawlessly. Opening and closing the keypad is one smooth motion. I like how the sliding mechanism satisfyingly “snaps” into place when activated, a feeling that can only be described as… orgasmic. 😉

The size of the Chocolate is only slightly bigger than two iPod nanos, making it extremely small and forgettably light at 83g.
Slim, sexy yet solidly built, which makes it the closest thing next to Jessica Alba.

Feature-wise it isn’t as jam-packed as its rivals though all the basics are there. Call quality is excellent and texting is fairly intuitive. Battery life is 2 to 3 days on moderate usage, less if you’re using power applications like the camera or MP3 player. Then there’s GPRS and Bluetooth for connectivity, and a Java backbone to run your fancy little games and apps.

The MP3 player, camera and video camera features are activated by a button on the side of the phone. The ‘hang up’ button is relocated here instead of on the touch keypad to prevent accidental hang-ups when answering phone calls. There’s a flap covering a multi-purpose port for charging, headphones and USB connection to the computer.

The embedded 1.3 megapixel camera works like a charm. It even comes with an inbuilt LED lamp to illuminate your subject at night. 128MB of onboard memory should be more than enough for the vast majority of people.
Personally, I’m surprised at how good the pictures turn out.

Click here to see it in full resolution.

All in all, love it!
If you’re looking a swanky phone with a decent multimedia package, then the LG Chocolate is definitely one desirable candy that’s guaranteed to turn heads. It’s black, red, very shiny and one sexy-looking phone to crave for.

The only downside is that this droolworthy Chocolate not edible. Just thought you might wanna know in case you took a bite at it and got disappointed at the taste.
LG Chocolate will burst into the market in a nationwide launch covering 9 cities from May 29 at KL, and is expected to fetch a price tag of around RM1,500. Sweet.

Mmmm… Chocolate. 🙂

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My Car Got Broken Into

Life Documentary 196 Comments

GAH!!! GODDAMN %#*$&@ KNNCCB SIMILAN ISLAND!!!!

My car was broken into last night! Damn tulan ok!
I was in the Satok area visiting a friend for dinner. Barely one hour – ONE HOUR – I was away from the car and I returned, much to my horror, to find the car window smashed, the dashboard torn and inside a complete mess.

The culprit gained entry into the car by shattering the passenger side car window with what I suspect to be a hard object, maybe his head. He sure was hard-headed enough judging by what he did to my car.

The car alarm went off, but no one was around to react to it. My car was parked in an alleyway behind a row of shophouses and we were all in the house talking about the finer things in life like beer, women and vibrating cock rings.

The first thing I noticed missing was my car stereo. I had a sweet Pioneer MP3 CD Player that costs me RM1,500 and now it’s gone. Fucking gone. Stolen from right underneath my nose. What the hell, I’ve only used it for less than 2 years!
What made me even more upset was that my brand new Jolin CD was in the player before it was taken away. I’ve only had that CD for less than 2 hours can!

This is what the dashboard of my car looks like right now. Ripped clean right off from its fixture.
I always take it for granted that no one’s gonna steal my player because it’s not easy to remove it from the car. Last time I tried it, it took me close to an hour. There’s a lot of hidden screws to undo before I can access it.

Screwed.

Never have I imagined that a thief could be so desperate he tore the whole dashboard apart. He went right after the CD player ok!
Dammit when the bastard tore the CD player out, he didn’t just tore away a very expensive piece of electronic equipment. He tore my heart straight out of my body!

Ok lah not so dramatic. 😛 Cheesie did say I deserve to appear on the Borneo Post’s Page 4 Headlines though.
Strangely, he didn’t go for my money, nor the Rayban sunglasses, nor the iPod nano i carelessly left in the car. I count my blessings. Can die straight off if my iPod was gone.

Quote of the day goes to my mom.
Kenny: “Mom, my car got broken into. Stereo gone.”
Mom: “You see lah! You write all these things in your blog that’s why people break into you car!”
Kenny: “Huh? What does this have anything to do with what I write on my blog???”

Maybe she thinks kennysia.com is so popular, even a common thief knows exactly which car I drive.
Our friend did leave me a little souvenir before he scurried away though.

BLOOD!

For a moment, I contemplated sending his blood samples to a lab, extract his DNA, clone an exact copy of that bastard, wait for him to grow up and then WHOOP THAT SON OF A BITCH’S ASS!
I know, I scare myself sometimes.

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Malaysia Bans Boring Movie

Thoughts & Musings 74 Comments

There’s this movie created by a Malaysian about the history of Malaysia but banned in Malaysia.

I’m talking about “The Last Communist”, a musical documentary by director Amir Muhammad inspired by the life and legacy of Ching Peng, exiled leader of the banned Communist Party of Malaya.
Despite the fact that most people who’ve watched the movie in a private screening thought it was boring, uninspiring and uncontroversial, the movie was still banned by the Home Ministry! And that made a lot of people very angry!
“Damn you! Damn you for denying our right to watch boring, uninspiring and uncontroversial movies!” they yell in perfect unison.

For the first time ever in Malaysia, there’s more drama surrounding the release of a movie than the actual movie itself.
So it’s a bad movie. Feedback from everyone who watched the movie didn’t like it. Roger Ebert wouldn’t give it a “two thumbs up”. He wouldn’t even want to lift his toes. I fear that even if the ban is lifted, the same people who initially wanted to watch the movie might call on the government to ban the movie after they’ve watched it.

Still, no one seems to know why the movie is banned because there’s no content glorifying the communists. Then on Tuesday, the Home Affairs Minister decided to come out to shed some light on this matter.
He said even though it was NOT about the struggle of Chin Peng, the title of the film itself was provocative.

Of course!
It was never about the content of the movie, it’s the TITLE!
How dare you Amir Muhammad for using the word ‘communist’ in your movie title!
Don’t you know that communists in Malaysia were the ones responsible for the creation of the Internal Security Act (ISA)! ? Don’t you know that this is the same Internal Security Act that my readers now threatened to use against me everytime I write something mildly controversial and anti-government!?

But hang on, if this movie is not about Chin Peng, then what is it about?
According to a a reviewer in The Star who’s watched the movie, he said “if not for this Amir Muhammad film, I would not have known that there were three types of petai and two types of pomelos.”
Silly director. Why title it “communist” when it’s about pomelos!? You should’ve just changed the title of your movie to something more relevant.


Then we wouldn’t have to sit through all these mess in the first place.

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Zhng My Penis

Thoughts & Musings 370 Comments

I’m thinking about getting myself circumcised.

Yalah, laugh all you want. This is quite a personal topic, but I suppose most people reading kennysia.com would have passed their Form 3 Biology already so hopefully we can tackle this subject the adult way. Stop giggling!
Now, for the benefit of those who don’t know what a circumcision is, allow me explain.
This is what a normal penis looks like.

What? That’s not it? Well, must be something wrong with yours then ‘cos mine looks like that.
The tip of the penis is called “a dickhead”.
Here is a picture of a dickhead.


Dickheads are normally surrounded by a layer of skin, called “the foreskin”.
See, dickheads are senstive creatures, which is why it is necessary to have foreskins to help protect them. You wouldn’t wanna have a dickhead rubbing against the fabric of your underwear because trust me, it hurts.
Dickheads are also very shy. You normally won’t see a dickhead unless you pull the foreskin back to expose it.
Here is a picture of “an exposed dickhead”.

That’s TT Durai if you don’t know who he is.

As for me, I have a love-hate relationship with my foreskin. 24 years with a foreskin and I’m pretty comfortable having it around.
However, there are many times when I find it more of a nuisance.

Girls who complain guys can’t aim properly when pissing in toilet bowls obviously don’t know the frustration of having a foreskin. If you think pissing with a penis is like using a water hose in the garden, you’re wrong.
Pissing with a penis with a foreskin is like using a sprinkler. You spray all over the place!

I don’t know if other guys have the same difficulties as I do because it’s bloody hard work going to the toilet when you have a foreskin. I don’t wanna sit on the toilet bowl because I’d feel like a woman, so I gotta resort to retracting the foreskin everytime I take a piss.
It’s too hard.
I mean the process, not the penis.

If you think to all these sounds ridiculous, then consider this.
An uncircumcised penis accumulates cheese-like smegma on the dickhead and smells absolutely horrible if left uncleaned. Not only is a dirty dick unattractive by most standards, it’s a hotbed for all sorts of diseases.
I’m not sure how many guys clean their dickheads regularly because I’m a bit obsessed with the cleanliness of it. In my books, cheese is best served with wine, not dickheads.
No foreskin = less dirt = better hygiene = less disease = happy Kenny.
Then there’s the added benefit of better sexual satisfaction for both partners, but I intend to keep this entry clean and family-friendly so I won’t elaborate on that. 😉

But I’m a bit scared leh. Where to find a good doctor in Kuching to zhng my lan jiao?
I’ve heard too many horror stories about circumcision operation gone wrong for me, like excessive blood loss, anaesthetics not working (!), or even accidental loss of penis(!!!)
That’s why having a good doctor is important. Don’t wanna go to the hospital as a boy and come out as a girl ya know? Otherwise I might have to change this site to conniesia.com

Then I’d have to shop in this section at Watson’s

Are there any guys who’ve done it before? How’s it like? Do you miss your foreskin? Please let me know before I commit to this lifelong decision.
I just think it’s gonna be so weird to have Big Bird without the skin.

So? To cut or not to cut?

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Sarawak Elections 2006 Fallout

Distinctively Kuching 117 Comments

It is very difficult for me to write this entry objectively without offending people.

Cutest. Election billboard. Ever.
While other bloggers can openly state whichever party they are supporting, with kennysia.com’s massive readership and me having friends on both sides of the fence, I regret I am not able to do the same. As much as I’d love to bare it all out no-holds-barred style, I understand that politics, like race and religion, is a very sensitive topic.
Revealing who I voted for would be quickest way for me to make enemies.
With that in mind, I ask that you read this entry with an open-mind, and understand that it is important that I voice out my opinion in my domain, but it is not my desire to offend anybody or rub salts into the wound. It’s just a blog. Nothing personal.

We’re just coming off from an exciting landmark election in Sarawak.
You see it in newspapers all over Malaysia today. The Sarawak Legislative Assembly since its inception has always been heavily dominated by the ruling Barisan Nasional. The Opposition often holding a weak 2, no more than 3 seats.
Yesterday’s historical election results was a shocker to many. I didn’t believe it when I was walking out from the gym at Hilton, and the taxi drivers were yelling in Chinese “Huo Jian Fei Wan Ah!” (Rockets flew today!)

Photo credit: Desmond Jerukan

BN swept most of the rural seats, but a total of NINE seats were lost to the Opposition. In urban Kuching, the Chinese-majority constituencies of Batu Lintang, Pending, Kota Sentosa, and Padungan all fell into the hands of DAP and Keadilan.
One theory I heard was that Kuching-nites were getting increasingly fed up with the Chief Minister, and were upset when SUPP repeatedly failed to voice out their concerns against the state’s head. The message Kuching-nites is sending to their (former) elected representatives in State Assembly is clear: “You didn’t work for us, so we didn’t vote for you.”

One, I like her hair, and two, Violet’s mom makes good ‘loh bak’

Most impressive victory must go to DAP’s Violet Yong, a 29-year-old law graduate from Melbourne University, who managed to defeat 63-year-old BN’s seasoned veteran and Assistant Minister Datuk Sim Kheng Hui by a whooping 4,400 votes in her first ever electoral debut.
Instead of giving Datuk Sim a mandate, the voters has denied Violet Yong a man to date. Because once she gets busy with politics, where got time to find man date right?

Another upset victory is Keadilan making their first win in Kuching. Who would’ve thought popular and well-liked Lily Yong could’ve lost to a Keadilan lawyer with a funny moustache?
Why, just a few days ago Lily Yong even held a massive concert in the rugby field over there. Musical concerts as part of an election campaign? Hell yeah.

I was a little disappointed BN’s Chan Seng Khai didn’t retain Batu Lintang. He’s a pleasant guy and I always thought he did a great job as Kuching’s mayor. Then again, stranger things have happened. Like Chris Daughtry getting voted out from American Idol.
The biggest losers this election aren’t any of the candidates, but the newspapers in Sarawak. I’m talking about the Eastern Times and Borneo Post. Hey if I had to turn to a national newspaper like The Star for not-so-biased election coverage, that’s not saying you’re bad. That’s saying you’re utterly hopeless as a newspaper because you’ve failed in your very basic duty to inform and educate the public.

It’s one thing to carry the furry balls of your owners, it’s another thing to uphold the confidence of your readers. If you anyhowly print big bold headlines humiliating Anwar and calling the Opposition ‘traitors’ without having any sorts of facts to back it up, you’re just gonna make yourself look stupid. No one is going to believe your bullshit. You’re insulting our intelligence.
Congratulations to all winners, and especially to Taib Mahmud, our would-be Chief Minister for 30 glorious years. Happy 70th birthday.

Sorry about the birthday present.

More Sarawak Elections:

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Chung Hua Middle School No.1

Re-discovering Myself 194 Comments

Chung Hua Middle School No.1 was the secondary school I used to go.

It wasn’t meant to be that way actually.
When I was about to finish primary school, my parents thought it’d be a good idea to send me off to Lodge School. Lodge is a private English school where all the elites, expats and other atas people send their kids to. If that were to happen, I’d probably have classmates whose parents are Datuks and Tan Sris and the like.

I come from a humble family that emphasises heavily on the value of thrift.
After I got through the Lodge School admission test, my mother told me before I start at my new school not to be envious of my classmates. I didn’t know why she said that to me then. She knew we aren’t as well-off compared to my future classmates, and materialism is something my parents try their best to provide, not something they could afford continuously.

Alas, with my father’s deep-rooted Confucian beliefs, he feared that I would turn into an English-speaking only ‘banana’ and ordered me a humble Chinese school instead at the last minute.
And this is where I spent three short but memorable years of my life.

This is where I used to sit in class

Chung Hua Middle School No.1 (CHMS No.1 for short) is every parent’s dream and every student’s worst nightmare.
In short, this school is like a giant pressure cooker spreaded over 18 acres of land. Come to think of it, I had more pressure studying here than I had for 5 years studying at University.

In an environment where academic performance is of upmost importance and everything else takes second place, I was under a lot of scrutiny to do my very best. The teachers here (or at least the ones I had) seem to derive some sort sadistic pleasure forcing students to memorise and rote learn huge amount of information, then expecting them to regurgitate it all out during tests and exams.
Fun factor = zero.

This was the last classroom I was in

The syllabus was very unforgiving. Once, I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown because I was faced with two final exam papers on the same day: History and Science. The Science paper is Physics, Chemistry and Biology 3-in-1. So that’s four books I gotta memorise within just ONE day before the exam.
For a 14 year old then, it was pure torture. I remember studying till 6am, sleeping just an hour and bombed both papers big time the next day. That’s how bad it was.

Discpline was even more harsh. Being taught discpline at school was like being subjected to drill officers at an army camp. One discipline teacher I had was nicknamed ‘The Great White Shark’, and she was notorious for speaking in one volume only : EXTRA LOUD.
No explanation needed as to why the photos of our discipline heads in the year book were always tampered with.

An example of how rigid the discipline system at school happened when I was in Form 2. I knew a girl who got into trouble with the discipline teacher because she was seen putting her hand on a boy’s shoulder while talking to him.
Even until today, I still don’t understand what’s there to be upset over that incident. Hello? She was just putting her hand on his shoulder, not giving him a live strip show in the middle of the hallway.

Kids these days so lucky use fancy plastic chairs. In our days, our asses have to kiss the cold hard wooden chairs instead.

The school rules sound like something the Taliban would implement. No mobile phones. No liquid paper. No girly accessories. No boys and girls canoodling in the classroom alone.
Apart from the usual, students are not allowed to have coloured hair, permed hair, coloured shoes or socks, long hair for boys, short skirts for girls, etc. Girls with long hair must tie them up, or face the consequences during the dreaded weekly Hair and Fingernail Inspection.

CHMS NO.1 being a Chinese school, 99% of students there are Chinese. It’s bad in a way, but because I don’t remember having a non-Chinese friend until after I left school. The teachers here have the arrogant tendency to look down on Chinese who can’t speak Chinese, such as those grew up in government-sponsored Malay schools.

We’re constantly reminded of how great our school is compared to others. In return we Chinese school students were often stereotyped by Malay and English school students as close-minded recluse who are hardcore in Maths and Science, but hopeless when stringing together a proper English sentence.

This was… me

Sadly, I left Kuching after Form 3. When I returned 8 years later, my personal philosophy and take on education changed so much I was unable to accept the way things work in this school.
Studying at CHMS No.1 was the very definition of “Tough Love” no doubt about that. As much as I hated the academic pressure and the school’s close-minded philosophy, I do believe I turned out a better person in the end. And that’s something I am grateful for.

During my time in secondary school, I did cross path with a young Kuching boy whose face is now on almost every single teenage magazine you could think of.

Before he became the international superstar and Malaysia’s hottest Chinese music artist that he is right now, Nicholas Teo was actually my schoolmate. Till today, I still could not believe how big he’s made it. Looking at the yearbook, it’s amazing to see the transformation he’s gone through.

WAHAHAHAHAAA!
*cough*
But I shouldn’t really laugh at people. I myself looked much worse when I was young.


OMG I look like a priest!

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Newspaper Headlines

Distinctively Kuching 123 Comments

“Hopefully, the media can also give fair and balance coverage to all candidates and parties taking part in the elections this time.” — Election Commission Chairman Tan Sri Abdul Rashid in Bernama.

The front page headlines and photos in Sarawak’s only English newspaper in the days leading up to the State Elections all have one thing in common. Can you spot what it is?

3rd May

4th May

5th May

6th May

7th May

8th May

9th May

10th May

11th May

12th May

14th May
(Hey I wanted that birthday gift too!)

15th May

16th May
Yep, that’s about as fair and balanced as a fat elephant walking on a tight rope. Drunk.
At least it’s better than the state’s only English tabloid’s full page tribute.

You know, maybe one day I could become so famous that instead of publishing my blog on the lousy Internet, I will publish my daily life on the front pages of the state’s largest newspaper, and have them delivered to people every single day.

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I Need A Massage

Thoughts & Musings 64 Comments

My back hurts.

I miss the Thai massages I had in Phuket. It’s difficult to find massages of similar quality and professionalism here in Kuching. Every other massage places here are either dodgy ones with half-baked skills, or ones that mistakenly employ masseuse training to become WWE wrestlers.
I reckon Osim should stop producing overpriced massage chairs and just pack a Thai masseuse in a box and sell it.

Confirm I’ll buy.

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