Kenny: *press button for flight attendant*
Cute MAS Flight Attendant: “Hi, how may I help you?”
Kenny: “Yeah, can I have a Virgin Mary please? Thanks.”
Cute MAS Flight Attendant: “You want a… Virgin Mary?”
Kenny: “Yes, please.”
Cute MAS Flight Attendant: “You mean a Bloody Mary?”
Kenny: “OH! YA YA YA! BLOODY MARY! My mistake.”
Stupid difficult-to-remember cocktail names.
Travel Audioblog
Audioposts will appear here when available.
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kennysia.com World Tour
Yea, right.
This month is travelling month. With Project #1 and #2 firmly behind my back, I’m looking forward to getting my ass far far away from Kuching, perhaps try to max out my credit card pampering myself in the process. Kenny Sia lives by the principle “WORK hard. PLAY hard. And PRAY hard hard so I can win 4D later.”
This coming Sunday I’ll be in Kuala Lumpur. Following day I’ll travel to Shanghai, right after which I’ll be in Perth for ten days before returning to Kuching (and getting back into the routine) on the 25th. Appreciate it if Shanghai-travelling experts have any tips to share on the best places to shop/eat/party/hangout.
Things I plan to do when I’m in KL:
1. Gadget-shopping at Lowyat. I’m eye-ing the iPod nano. I checked, RM969 for a 2GB model. So expensive but it’s… oh… so… pretty… *drools*
2. Meet up with minishorts for Hokkien Char.
3. Get my essential dose of Starbucks Lampa Frappuchino.
4. Skydive from the top of KLCC twin towers.
5. Try NOT to get cheated at Petaling Street.
6. Consider accepting Tilia’s benevolent act of kindness.
7. Go out partying with sexy bomb LaineyLashes.
8. Return ShaolinTiger to the zoo he escaped from.
But since I’ll be in town for merely 12 hours, I’m only gonna have time to attend 1, 2 and 3. Shucks.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Saratok is a beautiful small rural town and all that, but to tell you the truth I’m SO glad to get away from it finally.
It’s small, crime-free and everyone knows everyone. I especially like how Malays here speak Hokkien and Chinese speaks Iban. But there’s just something else I cannot get used to over there.
No, it’s not the fact that there’s no entertainment after 7:30pm, it’s nothing to do with the fact that people here naming their convenience store ‘Luxurious Restaurant’. It’s those freaking insects infesting the entire bloody town!
I was sleeping with ants and spiders and cockroaches even in the supposedly cleanest hotel room in Saratok. Every morning I wake up, I check my nose to ensure there’s no dead cockroach sleeping in it. It’s bad. It’s very bad. It’s BEYOND bad.
Saratok has stray cats – lots of them. These cats rule the foodcourts. Every evening you’d see a family of 6-7 cats, all huddling around a table patiently waiting for the next patron to feed them scrap food. On one occasion, I saw a stray dog wandering into the foodcourt innocently, only to be bitten and chased away by the feline army.
I was impressed. Not even Cat City Kuching has stray cats as vile and vicious as the ones they have in Saratok.
I think they should change the names of the towns around here. Change Saratok into Kuching, and change Kuching into Anjing.
Pinku
Remember my baby niece Kirsten? Probably not. Here’s a pic taken of her just two hours after she’s born.
She’s my favourite baby girl. I love her for her baby smell, her droopy cheeks and her sad sad face. Kirsten is nicknamed Pinku because when she’s born her face was all red and pinkish. My sis’ mother-in-law said it’s probably because my sis planted too many tomatoes when she was pregnant with her.
I haven’t seen Pinku since she returned to Perth and I can’t wait to hold her again later this month. Last I saw her she’s still cute and small like a baby pillow. I wonder how she is right now. For all I know, the little princess could be all grown up right now.
Some things never change.
Agent Smith Quote Generator
Barely 2 days worth of R&R in Kuching and I’m already back slaving myself in sleepy Saratok.
I don’t think I can survive in Saratok. There’s virtually no entertainment around here and the only Internet Cafe I know of closes at 6:30pm.
Meanwhile, I haven’t yet gotten over my Agent Smith obsession. Here’s an Agent Smith Quote Generator I created. Enjoy. 🙂
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NOTE: No quotation marks (‘ or \”) and ampersands (&) allowed or else it won’t work. Use ’ for quotes instead.
Last creation:
Please post a comment if you’re gonna use this on your site, yea?
Click here for archived image gallery!
Let me know if you guys found any gem.
Character Confusion
Am I the only one feeling this way?
I was watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King on HBO when I realised how I cannot get used to Hugo Weaving as the elf lord Elrond.
I’d already gotten so used to Hugo Weaving playing Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogies that EVERYTIME I watch a movie with him in it, I’d automatically visualise his character in black suit and sunglasses.
But still, I like Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogies a lot more than I like Neo eventhough he’s the protagonist. There’s just something inexplicably cool about a guy in full-on business suit doing kung fu. You have to admit that his facial expression in the movie is simply priceless.
I had fun adding speech bubbles to his photos. Here’s some.
Agent Smith “comparing notes”.
Agent Smith rushing somewhere.
And my personal favourite…
Living In Denial
Somewhere in the quaint small town of Saratok…
Tau Keh Nio: Darlinggggggggggggg
Tau Keh: Whatttttttttttttttt
Tau Keh Nio: I got something to tell you.
Tau Keh: What is it, my dear?
Tau Keh Nio: My birthday is coming soon, right?
Tau Keh: Yeahhhh.
Tau Keh Nio: You really really love me a lot, right?
Tau Keh: Yeahhhh.
Tau Keh Nio: That means you should do whatever you can to make me happy, right?
Tau Keh: Errr…. yeahhhh?
Tau Keh Nio: Ok. 🙂 I want to open a restaurant.
Tau Keh: Har?
Tau Keh Nio: Not just any restaurant. I want to open a big big 5-star restaurant.
Tau Keh: Lao puo, what cock you talking?
Tau Keh Nio: I want to open a luxurious restaurant. I want Chow Yun Fatt to do the opening ceremony. And then I want to invite Brad Pitt for dinner, Angelina Jolie as MC, and Gwen Stefani to sing on stage.
Oh ya I also want Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to have their wedding here. And I want Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to come here for honeymoon too.
Tau Keh: Siao. What the hell are you smoking, woman? Excuse me miss but we live in Saratok, not New York. We’re 5 hours away from the nearest international airport and most residents here wouldn’t even spend the kind of money to eat in a 1-star restaurant let alone a 5-star one. Who the hell goes to a 5-star restaurant in the middle of nowhere anyway?
Tau Keh Nio: You don’t want to help me achieve my dream is it? 🙁
Tau Keh: No lah. But at least be realistic with your dreams darling? What freaking luxurious restaurant? Please lah. We only have enough money to start a small kedai runcit (convenience shop) ok?
Tau Keh Nio: YOU AND YOUR KEDAI RUNCIT AGAIN! I’m SO sick and tired of hearing your stupid kedai runcit ok!? Everything is always about YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! What about ME? I married you for 5 years and I gave you everything! See I gave you Ah Boy and Ah Girl, have dinner ready everytime you come home the palm oil estate and ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS YOURSELF?! I sacrifice a lot for you already ok!? I always think of you first. WHAT ABOUT MY GOALS?
Tau Keh: But a restaurant is really…. aiya lao puo don’t like that. Come here I give you hug hug. Relax relax lah.
Tau Keh Nio: RELAX?! WHAT RELAX?! ONLY MY MASSEUSE CAN TELL ME TO RELAX! YOU SELFISH BASTARD I HATE YOU! SAY YOU LOVE ME BUT NEVER LISTEN TO ME. EVERYTIME ALSO LIKE THAT ONE!!!
Tau Keh: Tsk. Say how many times we only have enough money to start a small convenience shop onlyyyyy.
Tau Keh Nio: I DON’T CARE. I SAY I WANT LUXURIOUS RESTAURANT MEANS I WANT LUXURIOUS RESTAURANT.
Tau Keh: Aiya darling… how can…? Aiii… ok lah ok lah, I give you your restaurant lah. *sigh*
Tau Keh Nio: Cheebye husband.