Stupid Computer Error Message

Out of the Ordinary 32 Comments

Half-arsed update for now. Full-arsed update later tonight.

I know I never write anything about my profession over here. I have my reasons.
But since it is the Gawai holidays this week (a ‘Harvest Day’ the local Dayaks here observe), I’m feeling a little extra generous. Here’s a glimpse at the kind of shit I have to put up with at work sometimes.
20050531-1.jpg

Eh hello? No keyboard how to press F1 or DEL?

Times like these, I feel like taking the next available flight to Redmond, Washinton and whack Bill Gates pimply little face into smithereens with a computer keyboard.
Yes I know this error message has nothing to do with Microsoft. But no one likes Bill Gates anyway.

Wax Hand Union Review

Reviews 47 Comments

Making a wax model of your own hand seems like the newest money-wasting fad in town.
waxhand

Good to see. Nice to hold. Totally useless like an asshole.

I spotted one these Wax Hand Union kiosks in Tun Jugah Shopping Centre a few months back. Since then, a couple more of these kiosks mushroomed all over town, usually manned by bored-looking Ah Bengs napping in their seats.
As is the case with every other fad franchising business, these kiosks eventually lose money, close down, and slowly disappear one by one.
Out of curiousity, I got a wax model of my hand done a long long time ago. Naturally, I chose the most appropriate hand gesture that came to mind.

waxhand

“WHAT? WANNA FIGHT AH? NAH!!! KANEBO CHAO CIBA VISION!”

That was around two months back. I kinda left the wax model in the cupboard and forgotten all about it. The recent spate of childish attack comments on my site suddenly reminded me that I had this ‘secret counter weapon’ hidden away.
Unfortunately when I dug it out of its box, I found this instead.
waxhand

Oops.

Damn. There’s nothing more frustrating than a body part turning flaccid when you needed it most.
So anyway, I was at Tun Jugah yesterday shopping for some business shirts at G2000 when I impulsively decided to get another wax hand model done.
The girl at the counter quoted me the price of RM10 for a single hollow hand wax, an additional RM5 for a base, and another RM15 if I were to make it solid.
waxhand

Exhibit A: A typical money-losing business.

I was tempted to pay RM30 to go for the full package considering my middle-finger wax model had collapsed earlier. But then I thought RM30 for crappy wad of wax isn’t worth it. She however, convinced me to go for a hollow model and if it were to collapse, she’ll do me a solid one for another RM15. I agreed.
waxhand

Ice Ice Baby.

I opted to do a wax model of my half-clenched fist.
The girl first immersed my hand into a container of ice-cold water. This is to numb my hand sufficiently for the hot wax later, but I think she overdid it. The water was so cold I almost went into hypothermia.
waxhand

Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot!

And here’s my hand dipped into hot wax. I always thought ‘dipping my hand into hot wax’ sounded kinda kinky. Not this time.
She dipped my hand into cold water and hot wax alternately for a couple of times until a layer of wax forms on the surface. Its a little painful to have my ice-cold hand immersed into hot wax immediately. My half-clenched fist contracted involuntarily which means the end result probably wouldn’t be what I wanted.
waxhand

From this angle, it looked like I was tweaking her nipple but I swear its not like that.

Finally a thick layer of wax has formed tightly on my hand. The girl umm…. gave me a hand by peeling my shaped wax off. It felt bizarrely good. The sensation is like removing a tight sweaty hand glove on a hot day. I was lucky the hair on my hand didn’t go with it.
All that’s left to do is touch up on the model…
waxhand

The HAND model, not the GIRL model!

Dip it into some coloured wax…
waxhand

Choose between red, blue or yellow!

Attach it to the base…
waxhand

Yes I chose a heart-shaped base. Don’t ask. They don’t have much choice.

TADA!
waxhand

My very own wax hand model!

Brilliant, eh?
So, the next big question is then… what the foot am I gonna use this for?
waxhand
Well my friends. Surprisingly, there are many ways an additional hand can come in err… handy.
For example, you can use it to act like you’re in shock.
waxhand
Put in on your desk and show people how much bling-bling you’ve got.
waxhand
And err… I leave it up to your imagination here. 😉
waxhand
Anyone have any other suggestions?

Not A Typical Day

Life Documentary 30 Comments

I had wanted to update earlier. But I logged on to MSN last night.
Kimm. No mood.
Ting. Gloomy.
Nicole. Upset.
Gee, what did I do wrong? Someone please talk to me leh.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I visited Gambs at his workplace yesterday afternoon to look at some of the stuff he’s selling. Gambs works at Huygens, which is coincidentally where another well-known blogger HB works at as well.
Huygens

Huygens Asia – Remote Surveillance cum Blog Reading company

I think word about kennysia.com must have gotten around their workplace or something. I have a feeling my face is being recognised. Even before I entered the office, one of their workmates standing outside was giving me a grin wider than a Cheshire Cat’s ass.


Dude: *BIG GRIN* “You’re Kenny Sia right?”
Kenny: *puzzled* “Yes I am. And you are?”
Dude: *shy* “No, I’m… uhh…. nothing! The office is just right there!”
Kenny: *confused* “Thanks.”

I seriously hope he’s not imagining me in my red boxers. Gee, you Huygens people are weird. That annoying Kung Fu fighting rat must have gotten to you.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My5tICal: “3 CHEERS FOR KENNY~!! U MADE MY DAY.. SONG BO XIAXUE??”
Anonymous: “Good 1 there!!! She juz simply arrogant and behave like a bitch!”
Haha: “This blog is good unlike some arrogant bitch(XX) who thinks she’s all powerful. Love the XX parady very very genuius. Hope to see more of it.”
suckmydick_xuexue: yeah…she deserve it..the bitch…..who she thinks she is……

Awww… you poor little angry people. Here’s a T-shirt for you to cheer you up.

t-shirt

Comes in sizes S, M, L, and F… for ‘Fuck You’.

I wrote an e-mail to Wendy because I was upset at some of the hate comments my ‘wedding proposal rejection’ entry has generated. It doesn’t take a PSLE of 269 (whatever that is) to work out that we were simply just joking around and both our entries was done both for the amusement of ourselves and for the entertainment of YOU, the readers. Unfortunately all it takes is a couple of idiots to say some hurtful words and then what was potentially funny ends up becoming unfunny.
feelings

Everything I write you also angry. I want to protest liaw.

I understand that the overexposure on her on mainstream media and other blogs contributed to people believing that she’s overrated. I don’t blame them. Its like the Paris Hilton effect. And no one can expect to be loved by everyone. Not even the Pope.
What I’m trying to say is this – if don’t like someone, you may criticise, but I implore you to criticise sensibly, constructively and in a civil manner.
At the end of the day, bloggers and politicians and catwalks models and Hollywood superstars are but mere humans who have emotions, just like everyone else around you. You be nice to me and I’ll be nice to you. When we read insensible attack comments like that, your objective is achieved because it makes us feel like utter crap.
Its easy for you to hurl insults, and its easy for others to tell us to ignore them. But I ask you. How would you feel if I were to call you an arrogant shit-eating son of a bitch?
woof
I explained to Wendy that it wasn’t my intention to bring her down or to make fun of her at her expense. I was pleasantly surprised she wrote back in a few minutes time saying that she understands and invited me to talk to her on MSN.
Gee, I think if you tell me 5 months ago that I’ll be shaking hands with sixthseal or talk to XiaXue about ‘alternative uses’ of shoulder massagers on MSN, I’d laugh at you and tell you that my name is Kenny Rogers.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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Oi my fellow countrymen. Support a bit leh.

I promise I’ll stop writing about XiaXue and anything remotely Singaporean after this entry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Anywho, on a more light-hearted note, its plug time!
YuHui didn’t seem to get as sick from the XX-overexposure as many others did. As a matter of fact, he’s the only person left on planet Earth who still believes in the Kennysia-Xiaxue Blog Wedding. Introducing siaxue.blogspot.com!
20050527-6.jpg

Oh no… ITS PINK!

Considering both the supposed bride and the groom will not be attending, I think YuHui is gonna have fun singing karaoke and drinking beer by himself come 20/06/2005.


Scarlett Ting appeared on an ad with Silk Air promoting their new Singapore-Kuching flight. I laughed out loud as soon as I saw the ad because the guy in it reminds me so much of myself.
20050527-7.jpg

sassyjan got excited when I quoted from one of her entries. To ‘commemorate’ this ‘momentous occasion’, she created this nice little button.
sia suey
Thanks for the button, Janice! It certainly is my pleasure to ‘sia suey’ you. 🙂
Come to think of it, maybe I should create a button for myself to commemorate the blog princess’ marriage proposal too.

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Yoda leh! Don’t play play.

Why I Should Date Singaporean Girls

Favourite Entries Understanding Women 102 Comments

She wasn’t the first girl to throw a marriage proposal my way, you know.
I’m always gonna remember twirly mouth babe Scarlett Ting as the first one who (jokingly) asked me to marry her. Then there’s Finicky Feline who didn’t propose, but named me as one of the guys she’d date. I tell you, reading their entries is enough to make my testicles grow to twice their original size.
sketch

Hmmm… which one should I choose? [Ting art by Jayaxe, Feline masterpiece by Caleb. ]

Coincidentally, the three ladies share a common trait, ie they are all Singaporean. Alright, I know Ting is from JB and Finicky Feline is from Penang. But to me they are still Singaporean. See, Kenny’s definition of a Singaporean is someone who has been living in Singapore for a considerable amount of time. NOT someone who doesn’t understand what their own national anthem means because its in bloody Malay.
The whole thing got me thinking once again of a hypothetical situation. What if I am single and available and looking for a girlfriend; and what if XiaXue, Ting and Feline weren’t joking and were 100% serious about wanting to hook up with me?
I think my first reaction would be “HAR? YOU WANNA DATE ME? YOU SIAO GINAH AR?!”
Siao ginah

Hair Contortionist – An example of a ‘Siao Ginah’

That’s not discounting the ladies because obviously they are arguably the most wanted and eligible bachelorettes in the blogging community. Its just that I’d be totally dumbfounded why anyone would consider me boyfriend material. I am, after all, just an average-looking guy from the small city of Kuching who still lives with his mother and two dogs with no names.
Yes, my two dogs have no names. I kinda ran out of doggie names to call them, so the poor bastards have been called “Oi, YOU!” for quite some time now. At one point I even named them ‘Jayden’ and ‘Kirsten’, after my sister’s two children. Don’t think my sister is gonna be too happy if she finds out.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
I’m not gonna lie here. Nicole can chop me to pieces later, but I find Singaporean women in general very, very, very attractive. By ‘attractive’ I mean either they look pretty, or they have a nice character, or both.
They are so attractive in fact, even the Malaysian girls who’ve lived there come back looking pretty. I’m being honest here. To date, I haven’t yet met a Singaporean girl I can truthfully say is ugly. Sometimes I feel I’m a little bit out of their league.
Regardless, here I am taking a page off Finicky Feline’s book err… blog, and present to you – reasons why myself (and perhaps other Malaysian men) should and should not date Singaporean girls.

Why I should date Singaporean girls:
1. Singaporean girls have fantastic fashion sense
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The MNG, the m}phosis, even the This Fashion (or was it That Fashion? heh heh) all deserve a medal for sprucing up Singaporean girls with something nice to wear and giving the guys something nice to look at at the same time. 🙂
2. Singaporean girls have a good sense of humour
Two girls I know in Perth (Candice and Rekha) are perfect examples of this. Actually I reckon Singaporeans in general have a good sense of humour. They know the difference between a sarcastic insult and a sarcastic joke, and they know when to take things seriously and when to have light-hearted fun. I don’t have to worry as much about offending someone when I joke.
3. Singaporean girls are more open about their sexuality
20050526-6.jpg
This one you can see for yourself in their blogs. Singaporean girls have no hesitation talking about sex in the same blog where they put their photos and real name, wheras Malaysian girls feel the need to hide behind an anonymous pseudonym before they can write anything about sex. Why ar? Social stigma lah.
4. Singaporean girls are capable of forming their own opinion
Despite my parents’ insistence, I have absolute zero interest in quiet docile women who looks sweet on the outside, but hollow on the inside. I don’t like girls who follow exactly what I said to the dot and keep quiet if I did something wrong that they don’t like. I don’t wanna date a maid who accepts everything I ask of them. I want girls who have brains and can think for themselves, not a doormat. Singaporean girls know what they want, and they say what they want. It makes the relationship more ‘human’, and that I admire.
5. Singaporean girls know how to party
I went to Zouk once and I was amazed to see the girls there doing the Para-Para, the Teppanyaki, or whatever dance you call it. I tried to dance but end up looking like I was jogging on the spot. Maybe dating a Singaporean girl could turn me into a Michael Flatley.
6. Singaporean girls are health conscious
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Nowadays its all low fat, low carb, low everything. Can save money on dinner ‘cos she’ll just be drinking a glass of water.
7. Singaporean girls are more financially independant

Salary in Singapore is better and the exchange rate to Ringgit is pretty good at the moment. Money is never enough. Then again, having a lot of money is one thing. Unfortunately, knowing how to spell the word “BUDGET” is another thing.

Why I should NOT date Singaporean girls:
1. Cash, Car, Condominium, Credit Card, Career.
I don’t have lah!

XiaXue And I Are Getting Married!

Favourite Entries The Blog Culture 141 Comments

Its not an everyday thing that I can claim that I am the source of every man’s envy.
Today is one of those rare occasions. I woke up this morning, checked my inbox and found out from my readers that Singaporean blog princess XiaXue Wendy Cheng has mentioned me on her 8,000 visitors/day blog. I head over to her site immediately and… believe it or not, the very attractive XiaXue posted an entry on her site ASKING ME TO MARRY HER!
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Yes, XiaXue expertly executed to perfection ‘The Blogger Method’ in Sassyjan’s Guide for Desperate Female Singles Who Still Want Eligible Bachelors

The Blogger’s Method
Profess your love for him on your blog.
Write about how romantic/macho/hamsem he is.
BUT, say you know that he is out-of-bounds cause he’s attached, but you can’t help but fall for him.
Get your blogders/girlfriends to whore your Blog and make sure he reads it.
Again, let him think you are suffering in silence.
Men’s instinct will naturally want to protect you.

Whoa! Executed to perfection!
Why did XiaXue choose me? She blind ar? Someone like XiaXue could’ve chosen that Alt-F4 wanker Jerry Yan, or that tiny-dicked elf Orlando Broom. But no. Despite me having three-layered cake on my stomach instead of her favourite penis veins, XiaXue chose me. Me, ME, ME!
Heck, she even dedicated the entire entry to me and gave me five reasons why I should marry her. Well actually, I was only featured in a quarter of her entry – the rest of her entry was about how pretty she looks. But hey, something is better than nothing right? At least she thinks that I deserve to be sucked.
Well… Actually she meant my bandwidth deserves to be suck, not me. BUT STILL!
20050524-2.jpg
Anyway, according to XiaXue, one reason why I should marry her is because ‘She Is Yoda’.
Now, I don’t get it. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANNA MARRY SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YODA?! Can you even begin to imagine what Yoda would look like in the NUDE? Wrinkly green hairy ass and all. MAN!

20050524-3.jpg

On the night of his wedding, Kenny found out that his wife is not what he thought she’s supposed to be.

I think our in-bed coital sessions is gonna be very ridiculous.

XiaXue (as Yoda): “Kenny sweetums. Horny I am. Fuck me you must!”
Kenny: “Yes, master.”
*Undress. Kenny mounts XiaXue*
XiaXue: “Mmmmm…. Very nice that feels. Long lightsabre, you have!”
Kenny: “Thank you, master.”
XiaXue: “Ooooh, fuck me harder my padawan! Use the Force! USE THE FORCE!”
Kenny: “Ohhh… Yes, master.”
XiaXue: “Stop you must not! Cumming I am! CUMMING I AM!”
Kenny: “Hold on, master!”
XiaXue: “AAAAH!”
*BOOM! Xiaxue explodes*
Kenny: “Master?! MASTER!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Ok lah maybe its not that bad.
But there is still one problem with the marriage proposal though – I already have a girlfriend. But hey, let’s assume a hypothetical situation where I’m still single and available. And XiaXue has indeed lost her mind and decided to throw away the rest of her beautiful life by marrying me. Holy shit, what kinda wedding that would be?!
This is where I consulted my crystal ball (conveniently located inside my pants) and looked into the future…

The Wedding
It is not gonna be a conventional wedding in a hall filled with people you don’t know and ah pek / ah mah singing ‘Ai Pia Jia Eh Ia’ on the karaoke machine. No no no! XiaXue and I will be making history by holding the first ever Interblog-Wedding.
Sorry readers, xiaxue.blogspot.com and kennysia.com will be no more. Instead, the two blogs will combine into one brand new husband-and-wife blog site.
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I shall call it… SIA XUE! HAHAAHAAA!!

The Pregnancy
What’s the point of getting married if you don’t form a family right?
20050524-7.jpg

EEEEMMMMMMMKKKKK!

Yes I know this picture has absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy. In fact it looks like XiaXue is sitting on the toilet bowl doing her number 2 business when someone barged in and snapped a photo of her. No idea why she’s smiling so happily though.
I put up this picture because I remember fondly when I was very young and naive, probably around 5 years old, I asked my mother where babies come from. My mother, obviously trying to avoid explaining the birds and the bees and the male and female anatomy, simply told me that babies come from ‘the mother’.
“But where? Impossible that the baby appears suddenly for no reason one bah!” innocent little Kenny asked.
“Ummm… it comes from the kacheng, dear. Just like when you pang sai.”
“Really? So whenever I find my sai very big and very difficult to squeeze out of my kacheng, it means that I’m having a baby too?”
*frustrated* “Err… yes dear!”
The horror! Ever since that conversation with my mom, I cried everytime I had constipation because I thought I’m gonna create a mini-Kenny that’s gonna drop into the toilet bowl and he’s gonna die because I wasn’t quick enough saving him.
I hate adults sometimes.

The Children
Now here’s where the bad news come.
Although we had hoped that our child look as cute as Abbie or Jayden, that is sadly not the case.

Meet our future daughter, Wenny Sia.
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And out future son, Kendy Sia.
20050524-5.jpg
One big happy family!
*sigh* I don’t know, my dear XiaXue baby. But somehow I have a bad feeling that this is marriage is not gonna work out. Sorry!

Of Sagittarius and Mermaids

Understanding Women 24 Comments

Last evening, I was talking to my two whacky friends (who shall remain anonymous) when for some reason the topic of wrestling and pornography popped up. For their protection, I won’t mention their names so please don’t ask me who they are… Kimm and Mel would appreciate it when I don’t write about them on the Internet.

Kenny: “Wrestling is Men Versus Men; Pornography is Men Vs Women.”
Mel: “That’s not entirely true! In pornography there’s also Men Vs Men and Women Vs Women.”
Kenny: “Ewwww… I won’t be watching the Men Vs Men one that’s for sure!”
Kimm: “Hahahaha!”
Kenny: “There’s also Men Vs Animals wattttt.”
20050523-1.jpg
Kimm: “Hey I’ve seen a picture of a girl ‘doing it’ with a horse!”
Kenny: “Really? Is that how the Sagittarius is born?”
Kimm: “Eh not bad hey!? Then we can make Mermaids too!”
Kenny: “Obviously that’s not gonna work… Must be the reason why they said it smells like dead fish ‘down there’!”

Reason For Sarawak’s Slow Development

Engrish 53 Comments

Miri, Sarawak’s second largest town was recently conferred the city status on the 20th May in a milestone event that definitely deserves a place in the history books.
seahorse

Miri’s own Sith lord… Darth Seahorse!

Whilst many people probably couldn’t care less about the elevation of Miri from town to city, I reckon its an achievement that I as a Sarawakian can and should be proud of. Those who’ve played Simcity before would know how cool it is to watch the sleepy little farming town you built turn into a small city, a big city, then a metropolis and finally a megalopolis.
The addition of Miri city means that Sarawak now officially has three cities. That’s three times more than any other states in Malaysia. In other words, our balls are three times bigger than the rest of Malaysia.
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That’s the reason why we export Sarawakian white pepper – to remind you how smalls your balls really are.

I’m just kidding of course. 😉 Please activate your sense of humour lah. I admit we kinda cheated by splitting Kuching into North and South cities. Heh, but still.
I like the fact that Sarawak is always distinctively unique compared to the rest of Malaysia. Of course, every state in Malaysia is special in its own right, but from my experiences living in the Australian melting pot, the Sarawakians in general come across as being friendlier, thriftier, more hardworking, more independent and adaptive.
*cough* But I’m just blowing my own horn. 😉
20050522-4.JPG

Satok Markets – Kuching’s version of Petaling Street.
Despite the apparent growth having three cities, Sarawak is still lacking severely in the facilities, infrastructure and research & development opportunities that the West Malaysians seem to enjoy. So why is Sarawak growing so slowly compared to KL, Johor or Penang?
I’m not alone in thinking that Sarawak is often ignored as Malaysia grows rapidly. To date, a lot of emphasis on development was placed on West Malaysia that the rest of Malaysia sometimes suffer as a result. There’s a lot of potential for Sarawak to grow, but it cannot grow if Federal insists on looking West and not East, which unfortunately is the case.
Anyway, I was thinking the reasons for Sarawak’s apparent slow growth, until yesterday while driving down the road, like a sign from above, I found my answer when I encountered this road sign.

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“Ehh…. let’s…… go….. to….. work…… liaw……!”

Note to construction companies: Dammit, stop hiring bloody retards to build your buildings!

WWE Wrestling in Kuching

Distinctively Kuching 40 Comments

One sunny day, I was driving down towards Tabuan Jaya when I saw this.
engineering
A closer look at the sign that caught my attention.
engineering

Immediately, it reminded me of this.
website

Which gave me the impression that the inside of the office probably looks like this.
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WE ENGINEERING – We Engineer Other People’s Logo For Ourselves!
When it comes to designing your own company logo, some people really need to grow a right brain.

Singapore Bloggers Convention

The Blog Culture 43 Comments

There seems to be a lot of blogging-related activities coming up over the next few months. I’ll be attending the Kuching Bloggers Meet-up which is happening soon, as well as the (unconfirmed) nationwide bloggers meet-up in KL organised by Project Petaling Street (PPS) on or around 23rd June.
But one event I’m definitely looking forward to is the ambitious Singapore Bloggers Convention organised by editors of Tomorrow.sg
20050519-8.jpg

Tomorrow. Nice site. Lame name.
For the benefit of those who don’t know, Tomorrow is Singapore’s Project-Petaling-Street-equivalent-but-not-quite blog portal. The main differences lie in the fact that Tomorrow is moderated by editors and that they do feature non-Singaporean blogs every now and then.
No offence intended and I may be a little biased… but I seriously think Project Petaling Street sounds heck a lot better than Tomorrow. 😉 Honestly, I have no idea what the editors were thinking coming up with such a “creative” name like Tomorrow. This is probably what happened.
Location: Some Starbucks Cafe along Orchard Road

20050519-1.JPG
Cowboy Caleb: “Eh, so what are we gonna call this new blog-tal thing har?”
Calm One: “How about Project Orchard Road?”
Everyone: “EEEYYYERRR!”
Mr Miyagi: “Sounded so not ‘oleejina’ lah!”
Daryl Sng: “Aiya Mr Brown, you come up with something lah! We’ll use it one.”
Mr Brown: “Huh? Me? Now ah? I can’t think leh. Gimme some time. Tomorrow lah, tomorrow lah!”

And hence, Tomorrow.sg is born.
tmw

Anyway, back to the Bloggers Convention.
The event is projected to be held in July but the organizers have been keeping hush about the whole thing. The only news we heard from them is a call for suggestions of the convention’s name. Once again the Singaporeans exercised their right-brain and came up with some “creative” names like:
– The Fellowship of The Blogs
– Revenge of the Bloggers
– Kingdom of Bloggers
– The Bloggers’ Guide To The Galaxy
or my favourite,
– The Blog Job
Personally, I like it short and simple (the name, not the ‘blog job’). I took the first syllabi out of “Singapore Bloggers Convention” and came up with Sing Blog Con, which I reckon is pretty cool. Besides, Sing Blog Con sounds like some Chinese guy’s name. So if my mother (who doesn’t like the idea of me blogging) ever ask me “Why are you flying off to Singapore?”, I can just reply her “Nehh… I’m going there to meet my friend loh, Mr Sing Blog Con.”
There’s a lot of speculation going on about what’s going to be happening at the blogger’s convention. One would expect a Showcase-like set up: invite some popular blogger goes up the stage, say some words, then goes down to a booth where he/she sign autographs for his/her readers.
I don’t know how well that is gonna work. Just because some blogger shows a lot of flair and charisma in his/her writing doesn’t necessarily mean that that charisma will be translated seamlessly into real life. My coconut jokes, for example, is kinda lame if it were to be uttered out in real life. Whilst its true that some bloggers have indeed achieved celebrity status, the status is comparable to that of D-list celebrities like radio DJs and TV commercial actors, NOT A-listers like Brad Pig and Orlando Broom.
20050519-7.jpg

Say hello to the relatives of Brad Pig

But of course that concept is nothing but mere speculation.
A little bird flew into my house one day and told me secret plans the organizers have for the first ever Singapore Bloggers Convention. Remember, you read it first on kennysia.com! I had barbequed bird meat for dinner that night. 🙂

Singapore Bloggers Convention 2005 – Program Listing

1:00pm~2:00pm 20050519-2.JPG
Opening Speech by Chairman of Agency for Science, Technology and Research
(A*STAR), Mr Philip Yeo
2:00pm~3:00pm Cowboy Caleb’s Kung Fu Demonstration: How
to Kick People’s Ass Three Ways to China
3:00pm~6:00pm Steve McDermott’s Speech: ‘Infantilism
as Defence Mechanism’ (yes, its a 3 hour speech)
6:00pm~7:00pm 20050519-3.jpg
J Schnorng’s Magnetic Face Demonstration: How
to Stick Random Objects to Your Face
7:00pm~8:00pm AcidFlask’s Speech: ‘I’M
INNOCENT: Eternal Vigilance is the Price of Liberty!!!’
8:00pm~8:30pm 20050519-4.jpg
Silly Celly’s Live Demonstration: The
Right Member to Hit the G-spot’
8:30pm~9:30pm (Special Guest from Malaysia) Jeff Ooi’s Speech: ‘The Various Species
of Little Birds’
9:30pm~10:00pm 20050519-5.jpg

Mr Brown and Mr Miyagi’s Bellydance
Performance
10:00pm Close

With a program like that, HOW CAN YOU NOT ATTEND?!
So naturally, the next mystery is WHERE is this convention thing gonna be held? Singapore Expo? At the Singapore Esplanade? Well, you wish.
Seeing as how bloggers live in a world where friends and strangers alike look at them everyday, it is only appropriate that the first ever bloggers convention be held at the Singapore Zoo.

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Two of the most popular attractions at the Singapore Zoo

Remember, don’t feed the Bloggers.

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