I have been out of the dating scene for so long.
I think I must have totally forgotten how to go after chicks. 🙁
Come to think of it, the last time I seriously went after somebody was eight years ago. Even then I wasn’t very good at it, but at least I reckon I got a good grasp whether a girl likes me or not.
Now that I find myself back in the scene, suddenly I find myself so clueless and confused when it comes to girls.
Like an old hunter who has not picked up his rifle since his retirement, my hunting skills are so terribly rusty that I can’t shoot straight if my target is standing still staring back at me.
This whole dating business is too difficult and confusing for me. The hardest part is always the guessing games that two people play.
As men, many times we do not know whether or not the girl actually likes us back, or just merely treating us as good friends. Even if a girl likes us, she is not gonna tell you outright.
This ain’t Japan where girls give chocolates to guys they like on Valentine’s Day.
I am still a bit old-fashion in that I believe as gentlemen, we should always be the ones making the first move. At the same time, I also believe that we shouldn’t embarrass ourselves by violating her comfort zone, unless we are absolutely certain that the feeling is mutual.
We don’t wanna come across too desperate if she’s only treating us as friends ‘cos that might actually scare her off! Not only that, for the next few weeks, us guys will end up becoming gossip material between her and her girlfriends. That’s gonna ruin all chances we have.
And it’s a sure fire way to fall from Single and Eligible category, to the Single And Desperate (SAD) category.
So it all goes back to square one, how can we be certain that a girl likes us or not? We wanna go all the way, but we dunno what level of intimacy she is comfortable with. And if a girl don’t say it, how would we know?
Two words: Body Language.
Let me paint the scenario here.
Boy likes Girl. Boy asks Girl out. Boy goes out with Girl.
That’s when the guessing game begins.
As soon as the date begins, I start observing her body language.
Girls give very subtle hints to tell that they like a guy more than just friends. Our job is to guess. Hopefully we can impress her enough that at the very least, she grants us a kiss, on the lips, before the night is over.
What I do is that I carry around an invisible Female Interest Level Scorecard. For the benefit of single guys reading kennysia.com right now, I decided to publish it here.
Add points if things go our way. Subtract points if she thinks of me as just a friend.
Add points if:
- She hugs you. +5 points
- She hugs you so tight it almost suffocates. +10 points
- Laughs at your jokes. +5 points
- Eyes locked onto yours when she’s talking to you. +10 points
- Leans forward across the table when talking to you. +15 points
- (Unless your voice damn soft lah, then it’s a false positive and –20 points)
- Holds onto your shirt when going through crowded areas. +5 points
- Holds onto your arm when going through crowded areas. +10 points
- Holds onto your hand when going through crowded areas! +15 points
(that’s why we bring girls go clubbing. It’s a test, you see.) - Gaze at you intently when you’re not looking. +10 points
- Before saying goodbye, she pauses as if waiting for something. +15 points!
But!
Subtract points if:
- She does all the stuff above with her normal friends anyway. –5 points
- She does the above stuff, but only when she’s drunk. –10 points
- Instead of hugging you, she shakes your hands. –20 points
- Laughs at your jokes, but very painfully and forcefully. –10 points
- Looks around the room impatiently when talking to you. –25 points
- When she talks to you, the only topic of conversation is about her ex. –30 points
- When she talks to you, the topic is about her current bf. –99 points!
By the end of the night, total it up, and see whether or not you pass or fail.
If you score:
0 to 20 points, can hug her goodbye. Hug with one arm only. You are a friend only.
20 to 40 points, can hug her goodbye with both arms. Still friends.
40 to 60 points, can kiss her lah, but on the cheek. Don’t greedy!
60 to 80 points, you da man. Move in for lip lock. You got her!
80 to 100 points, according to the game The Sims, this is what they call “Woo Hoo!”
I scored NEGATIVE 109 p
oints.
FML.
In case you peeps haven’t noticed, you can follow me on Twitter.
I am capable of telling lame jokes in 140 characters or less.
haha.. so funni
aiyo~ why lidat?!
impossible la…
That’s a really cool post there. Not sure if I’m gonna take those in mind but it’s no harm after all right?? Gonna’ start noticing her body language by then. 😛
Oh, Kenny. Impossible lah. If I was aa girl sure I will fall in love with u. xD
Anyway ADD OIL lah for someone’s special to you. I believe you can score more than 100 points one xD
funny stuff. XD -99 points
hey kenny,
haha your insights into understanding women are jokes 🙂
drop by my blog when you get the time, and you’ll probably find out that women are just as clueless!
http://thelasthappysinglegirl.blogspot.com
Kenny…..actually hor……*winking eyes*….i…i….like you!!!! can we do “Woo Hoo”!?!
i am bringing my score board with me next time, your marking scheme seems not bad, haha
good luck to you!!
Nice one. Exactly my thoughts
girls are nice people right.. at least we give visible hints. but when guys likes girls.. it is so difficult to spot the hints!
I think we give very visible hints if we do like a person. I know that if I don’t I’d not even go out with that person. But some guys can’t even take the hint that a girl doesn’t like them. Talk about stubborn!
-109? Means she talked about her current boyfriend?
Poor Kenny~
Erm… or you are her current boyfriend?
don’t worry man. being single is not the end of the world. enjoy it while it last because once you’re in a relationship, all the freedom are gone.
life begins at 40! haha
the Woo Hoo reference to The Sims 2 is funny!
Maybe there’s a Kenny Sia version of The Sims, would be interesting…
Damn, I tried this out, only got 15 🙁
Don’t worry. We will introduce to some pretty fans of yours when you’re here in Melb next month. (:
Wow, the scoring is quite ok lar. But I must have been getting the minuses like a few times before meeting my wife.
ah shit, I’ve none,
well, I used cheats to get ‘woo hoo’ level in the sims =P
Kenny,
My few penny on this topic.
Being an icon, you can’t help but be chased and admired by girls – however for all the wrong reasons ! Cos they don’t really know you on a personal level. Probably just an idea from your blog.
I understand your dilemma. The struggle applies for girls too – if the guy likes me or otherwise. From experience, here’s my suggestions.
Get close contact with the girl’s best friend. Get tips from that source. The girl will gladly tell you if you have chance or not. Your wallet may suffer for this but its better the pocket to suffer than your dignity. Doing the right things with the wrong girl is really ego-bruising. Likewise, doing the wrong things with the right girl spoils your chances.
hehe ..self check – do you have the 8 Cs ? http://doink-justme.blogspot.com/2007/11/3-more-cs.html
Good luck with the chase. Its always fun that way ..the heart throbbing and the palms sweating .. 😉
It seems I always start off a date with -99 points then… 🙂
just show off more cash lah brother
u can be the next dato ‘k
marry a babe at 40
On the bright side, that means you have room (a lot) for improvement! Keep it up kenny!
Is she a Rules girl? Pls see link:
http://www.amazon.com/Rules-TM-Time-Tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446518131/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1249002179&sr=8-2
Rules girls live by the philosophy that men like a good chase, and that to get her attention, they would be left with no alternative but to PROPOSE MARRIAGE.
Kenny, I urge you to reverse your scorecard (as it is misleading), after which you MUST propose marriage.
I scored NEGATIVE 109 points. – Kenny.
—————————————
Kenny,
When she talks to you, the topic is about her current bf. –99 points + Laughs at your jokes, but very painfully and forcefully. –10 points /or She does the above stuff, but only when she’s drunk. –10 points = -109 points?
🙂
what???!!
Don’t dare to pay, don’t dare to know my marks…
kenny~
u sound like u found “SOME ONE” =p
Aiyah.. girls are not hard to understand at all.. =p
HAHA~ hope your some one special will appear soon, got small hand to hold very warm wan leh..
Looks like u have just / about to go back to the dating game.
Good luck!
It gets easier over time (maybe!)
LOLS, I feel for you dude.
Kenny,
Ganbatte ne! One day you will meet your girl! One day! :)))
Kenny,
no worries someday you will hit the “woo hoo” level!!
I think guys will also give hints-la. A guy once put his arms at my… waist. Another one just keeps talking about how he’s looking forward to life — after going off from the gf. 😀
If you know the “secrets” why do you still score negative points? shouldn’t u be looking for ways to score points? 🙂
I dunno how to score points. 🙁
why the girl in ur pic all got something to do with water one.
Wet dreams.
Since negative points already, why bother counting? Go all out 🙂
Some girls like aggressive guys anyway :-p
ZQ
PassportChop.com
Wow Kenny. This post is a great post for guys. LOLX.
Your score is terrible. lolx.
Go for 100 points in her “Friendship” list first…which scores you BFF position.
Then go for BF list…should be easier to advance 😀
No way! Once you are in the BFF position, you remain stuck in the BFF position forever. I don’t think girls can see their good guy friends anything more than just friends.
My BFF is a girl but I don’t lust after her.
hmm… in form 6 I had a BFF and I was crazy about him though i dont know how he felt about me – once over a phone conversation, i THOUGHT he did a ONE-OFF get-together offer which I didnt hear clearly and he never repeated.
and THEN… this guy came along and became my BFF about a few years ago and is now crowned the BF.
I think if girls can trust you with her life to award u the BFF status, she can trust you with “happily-ever-after”. A lot of similar testimonies heard too.
BUT since you said “My BFF is a girl but I don’t lust after her” – well, get an additional BFF. HAHA. Still, time holds many mysteries… u never know *winks*
Seriously, it couldn’t be that bad, can it?
Wakakakka… I played SiMs too…
sure you 109 point?? welll….
woooo…hooooo…. Ken!! (with the bed shaking and fireworks all over the place…) lol……… *wink*
kenny, i think it’s time for you to hire a male model for kennysia.com.. so that when you talk about relationships, it’s better than seeing 2 girls almost kissing each other and proposing on the beach.. lol..
anyway, nice one! all the best!
kenwooi.com
Wei… atleast u are better than me. You still can sharpen your skills in dating girls out.
But as for me…. It’s hard for me to even date anymore! Sigh…
Anyway, I’m sure you’ll get a chance to Woo Hooo one day too! 😉
Yoo-Hooo!
I scored -85 points………..
CHEERS..!
We all hate guessing games. Personally if I’ve been going out with a particular guy for 1 week and there’s no advancement from him, I’ll just go for a platonic relationship. There’s no way BFF can become BFs..
I think most girls freak out when you advance too early; but some will find your guts truly amazing and refreshing. 🙂 good luck..
Kenny, Can you make a GENERATOR for it????
Easier to check score 😉
Hugs. poor thing.
there’s nothing more appealing to a man than being himself, don’t look like you are trying too hard, good sense of humors always helps, be a gentleman and erm… be genuine about your intentions?
Add points if:
* Gaze at you intently when you’re not looking. +10 points
Got a question Kenny, how would i know a girl is gazing intently at me if i’m not looking?
Install a rear-view mirror on the sides of your head…
Why do you always post Cheesie’s pics on most of your posts. Even I don’t put my best friend’s pics on every single post I made..
Are you secretly fancying her or something?
Haha, no I don’t fancy her. I can pose for pics on my blog, but I reckon Cheesie and other girls look better than I do.
In case you haven’t noticed, I never put photos of girls I’m after on my blog.
What I think is that girls actually do not have a scorecard in hand. Girls is actually more about feeling, they trust their feminine instinct more than any love scientific calculation.
What does FML stands for?
ngek ngek 🙂 Hilarious but SO TRUE. You probably just don’t know that you know how to scored points :p
Oh men, This is a GOOD one
I think Kenny, you are just being plan choosy!
Yo Kenny,
Am having dilemma here as well when comes to dating…. Especially when it comes to the girl that i like it’s so hard to be expressive that you fear that you’ll scare her away… Care to give me some pointers ?
http://www.kartoen.be/wp/2009/06/10/just-do-it/
LOL
My bff for 3 years is now my gf. Nothing’s impossible kenny.
eh, duno leh. for me i wouldnt touch my date unless he’s my bf ler… haih kampung lar me. haah
Hahahahahahhahahaa ROFL scored -100
Kenny, are you gay? It’s about time you come out of closet!
thats not even guessing game?Its too obvious. Its like you need to go to loo, because you need to.
Im disagree with the usage of this scorecard
Uncle kenny, I like 1st and 5th pics. There are sweet and sentimental.thumb up
If Im a guy too, I would like to say: Life begins at 40…thats really cool
Are you sure about the scorecard? Coz your total score is -100 in total points? 😀 What are you not telling us Kenny?
Hey dude, just heard from TV morning news, LA Marathon is working on Starting in L.A and end at Santa Monica beach.
NICE ONE KENNY AHAHHAHA
i never dated in my whole life .. sucks to be me.
your point scoring reminded me of the content from “men are from mars, wemen are from venus”.
towards the end of the book, there is a section telling men how women keep the scores, and how men keep the scores.
it helps a lot.
typo…. should be men are from mars, women are from venus… sorry.
Hey Kenny,
From you blog post, I think, no, I KNOW you are trying too hard. Don’t over-analyse everything la. It a big turn-off for women.
Btw, having a female BFF could be one of the reasons you cant find a true gf. Not many ladies would like to see their bfs having female BFFs.
awww. you’re awesome mr kenny. i’ll date you any time! 🙂
just make sure you have money… then any girl will go for u la
its been a while to find a post like this on ur blog…finally…
nice…
Haha. “Eff my life” FTW.
Kenny, do u wana date me? hahaha… im SERIOUS!
ahh….. kenny…
this post came at the right time..
i was just wondering bout all these issues since last week….
I dont think your questions up there are totally correct, but they do make sense.
ah… sad…. i scored lower than 50
i feel for you kenny…
not rly.. from the point of phsycology, human shows different body language when they’re in different situation. girl, u jus hafta work harder on observing the guy u like.all the best 🙂
If you really scored -109 points, that means this gotta be one of the things you hit:
When she talks to you, the topic is about her current bf. –99 points!
Then I guess that girl shouldn’t have gone out with you alone. Not that I’m old school, just that it should have incurred to them that they might be sending out the wrong msg.
you have too many girl friends dee that’s why… too many choices = no choices at all. in the end you have many g-fs, but no gf lor..
it’s like i look into my closet full with clothes but everyday i suffer from nothin-to-wear syndrome.
izzit liddat, izzit izzit? hahaha…
can we have Male Interest Level Scorecard oso 😉
Dear all beloved Malaysians, look at wat our current government has done to our lovely country: http://gallery.thestar.com.my/default.asp?id=1238
It seems like more and more people are showing their unhappiness towards BN. Time to change!
*hugsy*
For Honour & Glory!
Jia lat!!.. but look at the bright side.. Maybe the other half score worst than you.. huahahahahaha.. Kidding..
All the best Kenny.
must be during MOS…
be a man! do the right thing!
LOL. That was entertaining.
On the bright side, you get good female company on holidays.
I agree with Cindy Teh, you are suffering from “too many clothes syndrome”. Got too many hot and interesting gals around you, so your brain has short-circuit. You are now unable to actually find what you are looking for even if its right in front of you.
If anything, I’d be more concerned about your sense of self. Things are very different from 8 years ago. Is your celebrity interfering with your sense of self? Are you purposely putting an arms length from all the girls because you are not sure if they are seeing Kenny Sia the funny celebrity instead of Kenny Sia the person? Are you always wearing the Kenny Sia the entertainer mask when you are out?
Very hard for girl to hold your hand if you have a force shield up.
Cheers
Lol funny
Well I scored 90% but still we have problems together. She loves me but is currently back with her ex boyfriend.
Do you know that when a person likes you or shows interest towards you, they tend to mimic your body language when talking to you? So you should observe her moves when you are having dinner with her.
LOL ready body language is something 95% of men don’t know how to.
When it comes to love and dating, just follow your gut instinct lar. Mine’s correct… 75% of the time. haha
Acks typo. Reading not ready
hey yo.. u re as funny as ever..
but ur posts seems more serious nowadays..
regarding gfs.. dun rush it… this kind of thing takes time.. =)
all d best
fuck my life, my dear.
it’s easy, u just take out a stack of cash and buy whatever they want and they will add all the points u want 😛
Interesting. I must test this.
so, ur concept similar to BFF.
hehehe….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fStiKF_HuVw
watch this, malaysia police styles, beat ppl till death..
Let them come after you ….. you take care of your corn, bro.
do a scoreboard for girls so that they will know if guys like them 😛
“This ain’t Japan where girls give chocolates to guys they like on Valentine’s Day.”
…and this aint japan where guys are okay with girls giving them chocolates on valentines day.
Kenny,
After reading ur post I found u tis “Mistakes Men Make That Disgust Women (100 reads)”
U may read abt it more frm here:
http://relationships.blog-city.com/mistakes_men_make_that_disgust_women_2.htm
In summary it says, “NOTHING is more attractive than a confident, competent man. Women are attracted to men with goals, desires, and opinions. Men who are secure and proud of who they are. Men who aren’t afraid to be themselves. Men who love to get the most out of life and aren’t afraid to achieve… MEN THEY CAN RESPECT!”
Hope tis help u to throw away ur scoreboard confidently next time when u hav a new date!
Good luck, Kenny.
Just treat it as a blessings in disguise.. She might not be the one for you afterall.. There are many other great gals out there.. 🙂 Stay positive & do not lose hope my dear!
Take care!
i totally agree with u lavenderly..kenny, don’t analyse too much, let it be more natural
scored -109 points with WHO huh?
We should make a reality TV show “Mencari Jodoh Kenny Sia” LOL
wah cindy has a point here!
Contact me ,Kenny…I can help you realise your inner Man..cheers Mate
Ouch….Cowardly Anonymous Chicken again…contact me Kenny, I can help you….serious…and its free..
Cowardly Anonymous Chicken
If I were a guy, I would score 85!!! another 15 scores is subtracted from “Before saying goodbye, she pauses as if waiting for something.” 😛 hehe!!
Listen more Deng Li Jun. Ms Deng will provide you with tons of inspirations and sentiments. Just search Teresa Teng on Youtube, you are on your way.
Fantastic guide. Useful and love it!
Cowardly Anonymous Chicken again…contact me Kenny, I can help you….serious…and its free..
email :vijay_anakin22@yahoo.com
yours,
Cowardly Anonymous Chicken
Uhhh Kenny, the only reason I hold the hands of my guy friends in any club is because I don’t wanna be lost in the crowd.
It’s definitely NOT an attraction thing, more like a brotherly-sisterly ‘there’s no way in hell I’ll be snogging you’ kind of thing. -30 points.
You need to up your game man, a book I highly recommend reading is The Game by Neil Strauss. Check it out.
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738
dunno if u know, but woo hoo is only in The Sims 2 and 3, never in The Sims.
the presumption here is that there’s already good feeling to start with in order to get points.
Girls are not everything. There are other much more important things in life for us to achieve. When you have achieved such things, perhaps you’ll have girls coming to you without much effort. And if they still don’t, it’s no big deal. This is not a priority. My comments are usually unpopular to the general society, but nevertheless, it is a fact. It is my choice. Make your choice a good one, and a dignified one. It will save you from infinite pathetic-ness…
What a great post, I wish there was one for the girls. How should a girl befriend the guy who catches her eye? It’s equally or even more unnerving for a girl to approach a guy!
Aiyoh Kenny… it’s not that bad laa. No need score card nih. At the end of the date, one of you guys need to make the first move. Be a nice gentleman and she will not say “no” to the 2nd date. Trust me! I know *wink2*
have u ever considered your dear friend, Ringo? hehe
you are damn flabby !
80 to 100 points, according to the game The Sims, this is what they call “WOO HOO!”
This is classic.
than i guess u should go on *dating* lesson by me.. wuhahaha
Hey Ken, i believe u r a good man, just the matter of waiting for the right opportunity to meet the right angel. Grab every single opportunity u have….. she might just nearby you which u didn’t notice yet:) All the best in hunting 🙂
pretty sure if she gaze at you intently while you’re not looking.. you have something on your face.. kangkung?
hey Kenny, u should join “the bachelor” like the one on tv, if malaysia ever make one. and u’ll have like 20 girls to date and to choose from.lol
you sucks dude ..lame
she might not be interested in guys.period.
if me i will pick kenny lor