This entry is not-safe-for-work, so make sure your boss, workmates, husband, wife, brothers, sisters, children and doggies are not around you before you continue reading.
If I ever said I’m not a fan of Saddam Hussein, I’m sorry. I take those words back. He’s found a new fan in me after the Iraqi Bloggers Conference 2005.
Saddam Hussein missed all the afternoon session of the conference and turned up only during the after party.
Spider Hole bars are all the rage in Iraq.
I spotted him wearing business suit inside the spider hole of Baghdad’s hippest club, WMDXO at the Esplana-Fallujah. I don’t know if he knows me, so I walked over there and introduced myself.
I’m glad I did. That man just kept giving me surprises after surprises throughout the night.
Kenny: “Hi, I’m Kenny. :)”
Saddam: “Heyyyyyyyy, you’re Kenny! You’re from Kuching right? Guess what? I’m from Kuching too!”
Kenny: “Whoa!”
Surprise #1: Saddam Hussein recognised me.
Surprise #2: Saddam Hussein is from Kuching! Damn, I never read enough of his bio to realise that.
“Excuze me teacher! I want to go to toilet!”
To be precise, Saddam Hussein is born in Tikrit but his parents are from Kuching. But I don’t care, I want to claim him as one of our own. 🙂 Despite him being so controversial, I’m still proud that such an evil dictator like him has roots from my hometown, ok?
Saddam: “You know… I know exactly what your Weapon of Mass Destruction looks like.”
Kenny: “I know what your Weapon of Mass Destruction looks like too!”
Not bad for a conversation starter eh? How I wish I could say that to every evil oppressor I know. 😉
Before he found fame as an evil dictator, Saddam worked as a tortoise-fighting plumber for a short while.
We were referring to the ‘UN Weapons Inspection’ crisis when Saddam Hussein vehemothly denied that he possessed stockpiles of Anthrax and VX nerve gas agent. Next thing you know, George W Bush went crazy sending airstrikes and ripped Saddam a new asshole with his cowboy ‘Shock and Awe’ campaigns.
I was amused why George W Bush made a big deal out of this when UN inspector Hans Blix already said that Iraq has no Weapons of Mass Destruction. So I went ahead and e-mailed George Bush a photo of me with my WMDs.
Sad to say, my picture wasn’t as well-received.
Later that evening, in a Saddam Hussein’s secret underground dungeon where many other evil Iraqi generals were congregating…
Kenny: “Hey Saddam, can I take a photo with you?”
Saddam: “Yah, sure!”
Kenny: (to Chemical Ali) “Ali, can you help us take a photo?”
Chemical Ali: “Sure, man.”
Saddam: “You know what would be really funny? I think we should do a photo together showing off our nuclear bombs.”
Kenny: “!!!”
Kenny: “I’ll do it. Are you gonna do it?”
Saddam: “I’ll think about it, but only if you do it first.”
Kenny: “Okay.”
Who said I have two pimples in front of my chest?
I don’t know what happened next but the chatty room full off evil tyrants suddenly turned quiet. VERY quiet.
All I remember was Chemical Ali shaking his head saying “Those nuclear weapons deserve an entire Gulf War on their own, man.”
Chemical Ali’s camera flash went off.
I turned and saw Saddam quickly putting his trousers back on. I reviewed at my camera AND THEN I saw this.
OH. MY. FREAKIN’. GAWD.
I showed it to Saddam and we burst out laughing our tits off. It felt as if I just shot the cover of my first terrorist-training DVD – “Hairy Potter and the Half Naked Czar”
Chemical Ali walked away in disbelief.
Chemical Ali: “I’ve got only one thing to say about this, man… LET’S GO TAKE OVER THE WORLDDDDD! YEAAHHHHH!!!”
Myself and a few other Malaysian bloggers will be participating in the upcoming Blogathon for Charity program on the 6th-7th August 2005. Our collaborative blog is over at BloggersAreMorons.com
We’re still finalizing on the details, but we’ll make sure its gonna be a fun thing for everyone. At the end of the day, it is for a good cause. Come 6th August, I hope our readers can be generous with their donation.
hi….very imaginative post 🙂 catch up soon…and please intro saddam to me ok 🙂
Hi Kenny — you scored a hole in one hiding away that elusive rat/oops, cat, from Kuching, aren’t both of you!
hey kenny.. nice comeback dude… especially after the original one:D i’m from kch too but now in toronto though:P keep it up:D and could u arrange me with saddam.. would like to get a hold on some of his wmds too;)
haha. the previous one is much more entertaining. lol. *winks* XD
Haha, although I didn’t have a really good laugh, but it is 100% better than the previous one. 😉
I guess the previous post was rather crude. But then, keep up the great work so far.
Agree with Jason.
I guess this is a more tasteful way to interpret the what happened. At least you won’t get hit by non-supportive bloggers of the previous version of the post (which includes me) and not even by Saddam supporters around the world (just in case) coz they’re too busy plotting big ‘projects’
WAH PIANG !
Seems like you are learning from George Bushy 🙂 setting up smoke screens to take the “heat”.
I have to say this is a pretty good move, dude. 🙂 So much for not saying anything about the thing eh? 🙂
Surrender… 🙂
wat a mask, wat a mask…
u noe how ppk prefer original version do you, be it a love or hate thing…
welcome back.
Damn, Kenny. You just did a ka-soons on yourself! Or should I say KenNy-Nei’s. 😛 This one wallops a punch, or punches a wallop, whichever. Lucky didn’t wake someone up laughing.
Glad to see the well-missed Kenny back.
You have no reason to shy away, and this is a good comeback in sub of the previous one, I supposed.
🙂
I also want to join the army! Muahaha
Hey, send my regards to Saddam. 😉
glad your back 🙂 nice post dude 🙂
This is so shitty! Man you are losing it.
nice subbing to the previous 1..eventhough i dun c a need for it
The Brazilian are champion!
E told me about the “hot and steamy” post on kenny’s reality show, no, I mean weblog from gossip town involved this high profile somebody, I was like cool, I like shit like that you know. Dude, you with Saddam’s whitty, Awesome~!
xiaxue’s blog seems to have been attacked.
*gasp*
not your doing, is it?
Your blog, your life, your rules. You have my undying support no matter what you post. Mostly. 🙂
And they accuse American conservatives of being puritanical…
Though I preferred the original one (and I had the presence of mind to save the page 😉 before you removed it), I think this one is da bomb.
funny shit. not as sexy, but definitely funny.
Great comeback!
*applaus*
damn. u r funny. i wish i can find the cached version of the old 1 though. 😛
Nice come back dude, nice come back !
only those who have seen your original 1st post will get to know what the hell happened, as well as understand this second entry…. hahahahaha….. (evil grin)
Superb resilience. Great job! Keep up the spirits man!
Great post…you managed to turn things round eh?? since when MB became Ali…hahahah…chemical brownie?
You r really talk kok king at its BEST! Peifu….
lmao… oh kenny, how can we NOT love you??
Hats to you. This is hilarious compared to the original.
Just treat this post as entirely new ok? Why keep on mentioning “original post” when all of you people knows that Kenny is trying his best to close that chapter? Kenny has moved on, why can’t you readers move on too?
By the way, Kenny, do offer your best effort to help out Xiaxue now. I guess she really needs it. It’s coincidental that both of you are in rough patches now. But if Kenny can bounce back from his chapter, i’m sure Xiaxue will, too.
wish people would shut up about what’s tasteful or not around here. who died and made you the blog police?
i didn’t mind the old one, but and frankly it felt like the whole Blog Dark Ages again and the conservatives winning the moment you took off your post, but coming back with this is gold.
A parody of your own controversial post; simply genius!
Dude, this is quite lame leh and you can definitely do better than this lah.
WOOHOO KENNY!
chey…still no picture of your sore right hand. The entire blog police community is waiting with abated breath.
sounds like the movie Team America gone wrong. LOL
Hint of funny, lots of tongue-in-cheek, and a huge dollop of take-that-you-jerks. Must be an ’05 vintage. Singapore varietal? Bottled at the Blog Con? Mmmmm… Careful of bottle sickness. I recommend a few months before revisiting it.
Classic!
You’re funny, Kenny. But you’re good at it. And that counts.
clap clap clap!
applause applause!
great job kenny!
Cheers!
er.. hem.. we miss you *winks* don! don’t ever put a gap of days for not posting anything
Hi Kenny
u have done nothing wrong with that original post, why remove it??? Not only was i not disappointed, i was rather impressed by your humour in that post including the disclaimer at the begining. Your are really talented and creative in what you do, so much better than most of the bloggers in Malaysia so keep it up. If you have restrain yourself too much it will make your post less interesting. People judge you through their colored glasses, so it is their colored opinion about you. keep up the good work mate, cheers
ps any chance of reposting it at a later date
This is why you are blogger of the year…
🙂
Nice comeback. Got class. Salute!
Brilliant comeback post! You’re like jujitsu master.
well written indeed..ppl will not even noe if this is actually linked to the incident
I’m sorry to say this but Kenny I’m starting to dislike you. I prefer the old Kenny.
Nice twist 😉
Lame.
where the hell did the original kenny go?
yo?
🙂 very well done!
heehee kenny got konned. Keep it steady ,man!
try not to write any comment on politics stuff as which 9 massive explosion has just occur in London. Watch out for confliction int his blog or wise action will be taken furter to ICA. Thanks
Funny.
But jaga ah. Later some guy from C.I.D come and catch you.
A very imaginative post.
You bring joy to my world. 🙂
O_O haha