I heard about the Premier Paid Toilets in Suria KLCC for so long now I simply had to check it out when I was in KL last week. Honestly, how many people would pay RM2.00 to use the toilets, when for the same price they could buy:
a) a bowl of Kuching kolo mee
b) two sticks of lok-lok by the roadside
c) a pack of condom
Leave it up to the Management of KLCC to stay true to their word when they said “Always Something New”. The Premier toilets are located on Level 1 where all the designer boutique shops like Dunhill and Cartier are located. Obviously its meant to attract those atas shopper who treat money like water.
Since I’m always up for trying something new, I parted RM2 to the bored-looking lady sitting by the same old crappy counter at the entrance, and she gave me a pack of wet towel in return.
The poor man in the background didn’t know I took a photo of him happily scratching his butt
This is my pack of ‘Freshening’ wet towel. It is made in Japan. It is just like any other pack of wet towels you can find in Chinese restaurants.
In fact, the so-called Premier toilet look just like any other ‘nice’ toilets I can find in 5-star hotels or shopping malls. Suddenly, I felt as if I was cheated out of my RM2. Cheebye.
The only thing that caught my attention there was this clean-cut handsome guy wearing a formal attire, looking sharp as if he’s about to attend some important conference with Mahathir, Badawi and Co.
Except he was squatting down there cleaning the toilet floor.
I think that’s the second most unusual thing I’ve ever seen in a toilet. The first is some crazy dude taking photos inside a male toilet.
This is the urinal! It looks just like any other urinal!
Unfazed, I proceeded to do my business.
Its drier and cleaner than usual, but there’s really nothing special about this particular bowl of urinal. Now I’m really starting to regret parting ways with my RM2. For the price I’m paying, they should at least get someone to unzip my pants or something.
This is the basin area. Its probably the most tastefully decorated part of the entire ‘Premier’ toilet. The erotic red flowers, romantic bowl of potpourri and the sensual slow-burning candles make this an ideal place to have sex.
Except this is a male toilet. That sucks.
No pun intended.
Here’s a closer look at the range of Body Shop products available for use.
There’s the Bilberry Leave-In Detangler. The Vitamin E Face Mist. The Oceanus Body Mist. The Oceanus Body Lotion. The Oceanus…
HEY!
WHAT KIND OF A SICK JOKE IS THIS?!
Stupid Body Shop. The first time I heard of the name Body Shop I was thinking to myself, “The Body Shop? What the hell do they sell? Bodies?”
This is the Bilberry (aka Blueberry) Leave-In Detangler for the hair. It supposedly helps you to relieve knotty, tangled hair and the bilberry extract will leave your hair “shiny, soft, healthy and tangle-free”.
Sounds good. I always have a problem with tangled hair.
I’m sure as hell not talking about the hair on top of my head.
I give my head a few spray of the product. Other than making my hair smell like blueberries, it doesn’t do my hair any shit. (No pun intended)
I left the KLCC Premier Paid Toilet wondering why I even bothered wasting my money on this uninspiring trip to the loo. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to feel some sort of achievement or something.
I’ve seen it once out of curiousty and I don’t think I’ll be going back there again. I don’t think anyone would. So I reckon the KLCC Management should consider changing their advertisement into something a bit more eye-catching.
Maybe something like this.
The terrorist attacks on London is a tragedy, but it proves one thing correct: the coalition’s War On Terrorism didn’t quite work.